Only the Beginning
by I Am the Real Number Five
Summary: Bella and Edward have been friends since they were two. After Bella's parents divorced, and she was moved to Phoenix, Bella failed to visit her long lost friend. So when she returns to Forks, why doesn't he remember? All human.
1. Chapter 1  Prologue

**A/N: Ok, so this is just something that came to me while I had the flu. Not sure if you****'****re gonna like it. You might hate it. I don****'****t know. But I have some later plans for this. **

**And I felt like I just needed a new story to write. I dunno. **

**So****…**** read on and let me know what you think. **

**Only the beginning. **

**Prologue**

"It just didn't work out, ok? I can't stay in this stupid little town any longer!"

"Renee, how could you even say that? After all that we have been through together, you're just going to throw it all away like a piece of _garbage_?"

"Yes, Charlie, that is exactly what I am planning to do!"

"But what about Bella? What about the life we have built here?"

I could hear my parents arguing over the pouring rain from my porch steps – I couldn't lie when I thought that I wasn't scared. Although my parents argue a lot, it has never gotten _this_ bad.

I tended to hide outside until my parents stopped screaming at each other – which sometimes, seemed like hours. Usually, my best friend Edward came and sat beside me. Just like always, he _was_ sitting beside me now, as I covered her ears with my pale palms.

"It's ok, Bella," Edward whispered, his arm around my small, frail shoulders. "It'll be ok. They'll stop soon."

I believed him, but only because that's what I wanted to think. Of course they were never going to stop. They haven't stopped in days, so why would they do me the honor of stopping _tonight_?

A loud crash was heard by both of us, and I cringed. I turned her face into Edward's shoulder, as the tears began to flow. This is when it is most terrifying – when the loud noises began. This is when I became filled with horror and anxiety.

"Just let me go, Charlie!"

The silence felt like a million tiny needles being stuck into my ears painfully and slowly.

I didn't understand why my parents were fighting – they had been happy just a few months ago – so what had torn them apart? Why is my father talking about _throwing it all away_?

"Bella." Renee appeared from behind them on the porch, but neither of the us turned around. Renee came and sat on the other side of me, and softly took my hand. When I looked up, Irealized my mother's kind, pretty face was streaked and blotchy with anger and tears. "Bella, would you mind coming inside for a minute? Your father and I need to talk to you."

Edward heard the powerful engine of his father's Mercedes, and looked up. Carlisle was parked in Renee, and Charlie and I's driveway, with the passenger door open and waiting. He peered through the rain at the three people sitting on the porch, his face hollow and sad. Though it looked like he understood.

Edward stood up, and began walking to his father's car without saying a word. He waved goodbye to me and whispered a "goodnight", then I had already been taken inside and sat at the mismatched dining room table set in the yellow kitchen.

My dad was sitting next to me, and my mom took the seat on the other side. They both took one of my hands, and began talking.

Although they tried to make it so I would understand, I still found myself feeling upset and confused. I may only be six years old, but I wasn't stupid. I knew why my parents had sat me down, because it had happened on TV and in movies so many times. It was just that simple.

"We're leaving Forks?" I whispered, my voice husky from tears.

My mother leaned forward to push one of my deep chestnut locks behind my ear. It still managed to fall back in my face, but she didn't bother to push it back again. "It's for the best, I promise you, sweetheart."

"Where do we go? Is dad coming? What about Edward? What about Alice? Carlisle and Esme…?" I struggled to finish.

Alice was my other friend and Edward's sister—they were nowhere near as close as Edward and Bella were, though. They seemed to connect in a different way. Not anywhere near as deeply.

"You can still see them. We will visit, so you can see your dad and your friends." Mom said. I realized that her mother was doing most of the talking – maybe because my dad looked like he was about to start crying.

"But I don't want to leave dad. I don't want to leave Edward." I said, forming a pout with my lips and crossing my arms over my little chest. I didn't like this. Not one bit.

"I'm sorry, honey, but that's just how it has to be. We're leaving in a few days, once we pack all of our things."

I looked down, at the faded brown seat cover I was sitting on. I was going to miss everything – Edward, my dad, Alice, her home…

"Where are we going?"

"Phoenix, in Arizona."

The thought made tears begin to flood my eyes again; wasn't Arizona… hot? Nothing like Forks. How will I survive without the rain and the cold? What will I do without my home?

"We'll start packing in the morning." Mom said after a few long minutes of silence. She looked around the kitchen, clearly taking it all in; although on the inside, I knew my mom couldn't wait to leave this place. "We still love you… very, very much."

I leaned away from my mom and more towards my dad. He responded by wrapping his arms around my small body and pulling me closer to him. He kissed my hair as the silent tears now began pouring down my reddened cheeks.

I couldn't say I didn't see this coming. With all the screaming, and shouting, and the noise; I knew something was wrong. I was only six years old, but I knew a lot for her age.

I was only six years old, and my parents were separating.

Not only were my parents separating, but Edward and I will be separating. Not seeing each other for months, maybe years at a time. It'll be a change, after we usually see each other every single day for hours on end.

That's what best friends do, don't they? What will become of our friendship now?

Later that night, as I was lying in my bed in the fetal position, letting the tears flow down my nose and onto my pillow, I couldn't help but think of Edward's parents, Carlisle and Esme. They were always so happy together. They never fight. They always slept in the same bed, unlike my parents. Why couldn't my mom and dad be like them? Why can't they just be happy?

I felt like I was crying from my soul, not just from my soft brown eyes. It felt too powerful to be tears out of sadness, rather than loneliness.

If I could, I would have gone right over the Cullen's house right now and told Edward what had happened that night. But the Cullens lived in a house deep in the woods near the Callawah River; I could never make it there unless I was driven. I would have to tell Edward tomorrow, when my dad drives me to their house, just like every Saturday morning.

I fell asleep slowly and painfully, and the tears never stopped.

Early that morning, my Dad and I were already on our way to the Cullen mansion. It seemed like a whole other home for me, I came here so often. So not only will I miss my house with my mom and dad, but the Cullen house too. Especially the Cullen house.

"I'll come and pick you up after lunch, Bells." Dad said, leaning across the console to kiss his only, beloved daughter. He was already wondering how he would live without his little girl. "I love you, kid."

My voice shook as I opened the door and forced out the words, "I love you too, dad. See ya later."

I dashed across the slippery green lawn and straight into the open door where Edward and his family were waiting. Edward was the first to take her hand, as if his life depended on it. As if he was going to lose her soon.

"Edward," I still felt upset after last night; I knew my mom was packing right now. I knew her dad was going to help my mom pack, and they'd be leaving tomorrow. That was it. "I… we're leaving Forks. My mom and I, I mean."

"What? Why?" I could see Edward was horrified. Surprised. Confused.

"What's happening, Bella?" Alice said, stepping forward and taking my other hand. Alice was tiny for her age; she had short limbs and a tiny body. Her spiky black hair stood out from her head, pointing every which way. It's what made her Alice.

"My… my parents, they just… mom doesn't, really… she…" I struggled with the words; not because of tears, but because I couldn't explain it on my own.

Esme and Carlisle came forward, and embraced me in a warm hug. They both smelled delicious, as always. Sort of like vanilla and cinnamon. Not only did they smell good, but they were pretty. Really pretty, just like Edward and Alice.

"I'm so sorry, Bella." Esme said, kneeling in front of me and blocking Edward and Alice out of view. "You know it'll all work out. Sometimes… things like this happen. It's just meant to be."

I looked down, and squeezed Edward's hand. I was going to miss everyone so much… I will hardly get a goodbye. I wasn't sure how to react.

"Where are you going?" Edward asked, sounding a little angry. Probably cause he was being left out. That was so Edward.

"Arizona." I sighed longingly.

"That's not too far away. We can visit." Carlisle said, smiling at me. I couldn't return the smile, but I could try. "And you will visit your father, won't you?"

"Sure.. Yeah." I nodded, and closed my eyes for a moment. "We're leaving tomorrow."

Everyone in the room fell silent for a moment, and I thought I had said something wrong; but of course I had. She was about to tear Edward's world apart.

"_Tomorrow_?" Edward and Alice said, perfectly in synch. Sometimes I thought they were twins.

"Bella, that's too soon." Edward said, stubborn and frowning.

"It's not like I wanna go, Edward!" I looked down and bit my lip. "Can we just… have fun today? I don't want to think about this. I've had to think about it all night, and…"

"Good idea Bella." Esme said, smiling. "How about we all go to the kitchen and have some breakfast? You all must be hungry."

They all nodded and headed towards the island in the middle of the Cullen luxurious. Everything was made of stainless steel and white marble. Even the silverware was worth more than my father made in a year.

"So what should we do today?" Esme asked pleasantly. Everyone knew she was trying to change the subject from what I had announced, but everyone found it hard.

"I think we should go to the mall," Little Alice beamed in her very-Alice way.

"We went to the mall yesterday." Edward said, clearly not amused. And focusing on eating his piece of brownie.

"And the day before. And the day before that." Carlisle said, smiling at his daughter adoringly. Everyone knew Carlisle loved his children more than anything.

Alice slumped in her seat.

"Can we just… hang out here today?" I said, smiling a little apologetically. I felt bad for taking up their Saturday with something as boring as skulking around the house.

Carlisle and Esme exchanged a worried look.

"Sure, honey." Esme said. "We understand."

I didn't understand herself. So how did Carlisle and Esme understand? I guessed they just knew everything.

"We're going to go upstairs." Edward said, looking at me and climbing down from his stool. He took my hand and led me upstairs to his room, where we sat on his floor against his bed, just like always.

"You can't replace me, Edward." I said, staring at him and biting on my lip.

"I would never replace you. You'll always be my best friend. How could you even say that, Bell?"

I looked down at my lap and breathed a sigh. I knew as soon as my parents told me they were moving, that this would be hard. Leaving Edward would be just as hard as leaving her dad. If not harder.

"We can't forget each other. We have to write every single day." Edward said, turning towards me and smiling, not only with his pink lips, but with his emerald green eyes too. The sight made me want to bury my face into his shoulder and cry.

"I'm not going to forget you. Ever. I'm only worried that you'll meet another girl and then she'll become your new best friend."

"Of course not. No one could replace you as my best friend."

"Not even when we're older? When we're teenagers?"

"You won't even be gone that long. You'll be back within a few years. I promise."

Both the children looked down, unsure of their future – although we were only six, we knew we'd be best friends forever. Till hell freezes over.

"We have to start high school together." Edward said, turning his head back to me and grinning at me as if he had a secret. He looked excited.

"We will." I promised, squeezing his hand and looking into his eyes. I hoped I would never forget them and that they would never change.

Edward looked backed at me – my rosy red cheeks, my long brown hair, my eyes the color of milk chocolate in the sun… and he wondered.

How would he live without his best friend?

Alice then bounded into the room, breaking the silence with her bouncy footsteps and high pitched squeals. She was clapping her hands and grinning like a child on Christmas morning.

"Bella, Edward! You didn't think you could leave me out of this, did you?"

We sighed but both smiled at our other friend – a friend who had no idea what she had just interrupted.

Alice sat across from the us, and crossed her legs. "Let's remember our good times."

Edward looked over at me. "Um… I don't think that's a good idea, Alice—"

"No, Edward. It might be good." I smiled thankfully but turned to Alice.

"Ok, I'll go first!" Alice squealed and positioned herself so she was kneeling. "Remember that time, when we were playing truth or dare, and Bella had to eat dirt!"

I rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I remember. It wasn't so bad."

"Well, I remember when we were playing hide and seek, and Bella decided to hide in the washing machine.. It took mom awhile to realize that Bella was in there before she threw a whole lot of washing in!" Edward threw his head back and laughed while I crossed her arms and scowled at him.

"What is this?" I threw her hands up but was still grinning. That's the only way Edward knew that I was joking. "Pick on Bella day?"

"Silly Bella," Edward snaked his arm around my shoulders and pulled me down onto his lap so he could ruffled her hair. "Every day is pick on Bella day."

I sighed, and before Edward had time to ask why I had stopped squirming, I was crying into his lap. Alice looked at him with a confused look, but she just shrugged and rubbed my shoulder.

Edward couldn't sympathize with what I was going through; he had never had to move. Although, there was one thing Edward did get – they both had to leave their best friends. He felt my pain, and soon, he was crying too. We cried together, until Charlie came to get me. It was time to say goodbye, but it seemed too soon.

"I'm gonna call you." I was pushing away the tears now. I was trying to be strong. "Every day. And you're gonna pick up, ok?"

Edward nodded, and we embraced in a long hug. Alice soon joined, but then Charlie told me it was time. Esme and Carlisle gave me a longer hug than Edward had; Esme had tears in her eyes and Carlisle's mouth was turned down in a sad grimace.

"I love you, Edward." I said, from the window of her dad's police cruiser. I hated it. "Don't forget about me."

"Of course I won't." Edward whispered, tears pricking into the corners of his eyes. Alice held onto his hand as she cried too.

When Charlie and I got home, the house was nothing but boxes. Ok, clearly, most of the possessions in this house were mom's. I noticed my dad looking around sadly, then down at me. I would miss him, and although I was young, I knew he would miss me too.

Renee came tumbling out of the kitchen, holding a box bigger than her lean body could manage. Charlie took it off her and set it down by the door.

"Thanks, Charlie."

"So… you got all your flights booked for tomorrow? Everything is arranged?" Charlie grumbled, stuffing his hands into his pockets and looking down at the floor.

"Yep. Everything is arranged. We're leaving early tomorrow morning."

I looked down at the floor and played with the corner of my t-shirt. The tears felt dry and cold on my cheeks, but they wouldn't go away.

"Bella, baby, don't cry." Ok, maybe they weren't so dry. "You're gonna visit me every summer."

"Every summer?" I whispered, shocked. "That's only once a year!"

"Yes, but…" Charlie looked up at Renee with an icy glare. I could still see the sadness in them, though. "It's just how it has to be. Sometimes… in life… you just have to forget that you don't want to do it, and… soldier on." He squeezed my hands. "You're a strong girl. You can do it."

My bottom lip was quivering and my whole body was trembling… it was all too much. I felt sick. I felt sad. And we hadn't even left yet.

I didn't feel like I _could_ soldier on.

Like the past few weeks, Mom made me eat separately to Dad. He ate at the diner down the street, while Mom made me dinner. And her dinners weren't always… edible. I vowed to learn to cook soon. Very soon.

I politely picked at Renee's chocolate candles, incredibly wary. After awhile, Mom took the meal away and gave me a tub of yoghurt. I was starving, but this would have to do.

"So… you said goodbye to Edward today." Renee said, looking down at her own tub of strawberry yoghurt and moving it around in the container.

I nodded.

"And Alice?"

I nodded again.

"Are they going to miss you?"

I wanted to know why her Mom was asking such stupid questions. Once again, she was so caught up in her own problems, she was struggling to grasp her six-year-old daughter's.

A six year old shouldn't have any problems.

"Yeah. They are. Can I go to bed?" I asked, putting down my spoon and instantly losing my appetite. Without waiting for an answer, I stomped up the stairs and shut the door to my room.

My room has always been too old for me – I had a desk, and a double bed, and a rocking chair in the corner. Dad had painted my room green when they had moved in. My Mom had arranged the furniture.

I changed into my pajamas and crawled into bed. I pulled the quilt my grandma made me and inhaled as deeply as I could. It still smelled like her. Like Rosemary and Lavender.

I couldn't believe this was happening. I couldn't believe my Mom was doing this to me. I felt like my legs had been pulled from under me, and I was lying face first on the cold, hardwood floor.

When I couldn't sleep, I wandered downstairs to get a glass of water. On my way to the kitchen, I heard a deep, sad sound – I realized it was coming from the couch.

My father was crying.

"Dad?" I whispered, padding over to the sofa and sitting on the arm. My father was lying on his side, tears in his eyes. The moon shone through the window, casting a glowing light right on his eyes. "Oh, Daddy, don't cry."

Charlie reached towards me and held onto my hand. I started to cry, and then Dad was the one comforting her. It was all so mixed up. It was all so confusing. No one knew this was going to happen. Not even Dad.

"You should go to bed, honey." Charlie said after minute of silent tears. "It's late. I'm sorry I woke you up."

"You didn't. I was getting a glass of water." I whispered, trying not to wake my mother. "Goodnight, dad. I love you."

"I love you too, Bells." Charlie sniffed, and smoothed down my hair. "Have a good sleep."

I wandered back towards my room, and instantly fell under, thinking about my distraught father crying on the sofa.

"Bella? Bella, sweetheart, it's time to go."

I opened her eyes and sighed. It was time to leave Forks. Time to leave my father. Time to leave Edward and Alice and Esme and Carlisle.

I got dressed into the clothes my mother had left out and stuffed my pajamas into her backpack. I threw it over my shoulder, and realized what I was wearing – a lace singlet. I would never wear this in Forks. Nor would I wear denim shorts.

Charlie was waiting outside in his police gear, leaning against his cruiser. I said my goodbyes to the house and wandered outside into the sprinkling rain. It was still dark, and very cold.

"You take care of yourself, Renee." Charlie said, smiling pleasantly at Renee and offering his hand. They stiffly shook hands, and then Charlie bent down to speak to me.

"I'm gonna miss you dad." I whispered, the tears not yet flowing. I could feel a lump in the back of my throat, though.

"I'm going to miss you too, Bells. But it's alright. We can talk on the phone, and I can visit, and you can visit… it'll be as if you never left."

We hugged each other, then Mom took my hand and led me to the waiting taxi. As we drove off, I waved to my dad with tears in my eyes and Edward in my head. I wonder if he realized I was going. I wonder if he could feel it.

Goodbye Forks. Goodbye dad. Goodbye Edward.

Goodbye… everything.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Heyy****…**

**Sorry about my slow updating. I****'****ve been busy and sick, and well****…**** it****'****s hard to get on my laptop sometimes. But I try my best! **

**So I hope you enjoy this.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all characters. And I also don****'****t own ****'****Friends****'****.**

**x-x-x-x-x**

_Not school already__…__ wasn__'__t it Thursday night just a second ago?_ I thought to myself, lying in my sunlit room on my stomach with my head buried into my pillow. _On the bright side__…__ it__'__s nearly Friday__…__ ?_

The thought of spending the weekend just with my mother made me jump up out of bed, and get ready for school. I dressed in jeans, a white singlet and a blue flannel shirt, then flew down the stairs with my backpack firmly secured on my back.

But I didn't do so without tripping on the corner of the doorway and going sprawling onto the kitchen floor.

"Be careful there, sweetheart." My kind hearted mother smiled at me and helped her up. "Wouldn't want you spraining your ankle… again." Renee winked at me, which made me smile. We both walked to the kitchen table and sat down in one of the sun stained wooden chairs.

I began eating my Cheerios as Phil, Renee's steady husband, walked into the room carrying a duffel bag. Phil will be in Florida for the next three days, playing baseball with his minor league team.

"I'll see you soon, Ren." He said, leaning down to kiss Renee and making her head swim. I looked down to give them privacy, but then Phil started talking to me, so I looked up.

"Look after your mother, won't you Bella? Don't let her cook her chocolate candles again… we all know how sick we all got."

I sputtered a laugh and nodded. "Sure thing. See ya soon, Phil."

As soon as Phil's spitting car had left the driveway, I looked up warily at my mother. Just like whenever Phil travelled, it seemed as if Renee had lost the excited sparkle in her eyes. She missed him. It was plain and simple.

And I was starting to feel _incredibly_ guilty.

Of course I knew it was all my fault Renee felt sad when Phil travelled. I didn't doubt my Mother's love for me – not at all. I just knew that if Renee could travel with him, she would be so much happier.

And I would do whatever I could to make my mom happy.

From the first day Renee and I left Forks, I knew I would have to take care of my mother; even as a child. And now, after eleven years of living in Phoenix, I felt like the adult. After Renee left Charlie, she was never the same. And I felt like it was my job to help Renee along.

And I did. Renee met Phil. Even though they've been together for two years now, Renee still looked at Phil with googly eyes. And I felt like a proud parent rather than a 17 year old girl.

I had done my job.

And now… I felt like it was my turn to step back. To let my mother live her life the way she wants to, instead of having a guide.

Just the thought made me wary. Renee was so reckless. So immature. What kind of things would she get into?

I closed her eyes and bit on my spoon; _you have to let them go._

As I looked up at my mom through tired eyes, I realized I will have to. Eventually. Soon. Phil will look after her though, right? It's not like she'll be on her own—

"I'd better be getting to school," I said, disrupting my frightening thoughts and grabbing my backpack off the back of my chair.

"Do you want a ride? I'm heading towards the supermarket anyway." Renee said, standing up as well.

"Mom… I told you I'd do the shopping." I sighed, but the smile wouldn't disappear.

Renee looked down at her hands and twisted her ring around and around her finger. "I know, but I want to help you out. Aren't I supposed to be the mom?"

"Sure, you are… but when it comes to cooking, you're not."

"C'mon, you can give me your list." Renee said, turning me around and pushing me towards the door. "Now, it's time for me to play the mom and take you to school."

We both walked out into the humid Phoenix air, and into Renee's beat up Corolla. The drive to school didn't take long, but I found herself stalling with unnecessary conversation. I didn't want to get out of the car. I felt like a clingy five year old on their first day of school.

"So… Charlie called." Renee said as she pulled into the street behind Scottsdale High School's gymnasium. "I told him to call tonight, after you get home from school."

"Oh, um, ok. What'd he want?" I knew my relationship with Charlie was now nonexistent; I couldn't believe they were once closer than Renee and herself. But that was a long time ago.

"He didn't say. Guess you'll find out tonight." Renee shrugged. "You don't talk to him very often. Or visit. The last time you saw him was two years ago, when you met him in San Francisco, remember?"

I nodded, and bit my lip. That was an awkward summer. "It's just hard to get away from school, you know?"

"I think you can miss a bit of school. You're ahead in all your classes," Renee loved to remind me about how 'smart' I was. I thought I was pretty thick, but Renee thought otherwise.

"Mmm," I couldn't put it off any longer, "I'd better be going. I'll see you this afternoon."

"Bye, honey!" Renee called out the window with a huge smile. Even without Phil around, she still managed to hide how much she really missed him by smiling the day away. "Have a good day!"

I tossed her thick, dark chestnut waves over my shoulder, and squinted into the stark white pavement at my feet. I wondered how I ever lived in the cloudiest place in the U.S. I also wondered how Charlie _still_ lived there.

After going through the same pattern of reception office, metal detectors, and her locker, I headed to my biology class. I sat alone in the middle of the crowded classroom, and struggled to breathe through all the humidity and body heat. It was uncomfortable, but at least it was familiar.

x-x-x-x

At lunch, I sat at a table in the back of the cafeteria. I had never really fit in amongst any crowd. Not the cheerleaders, not the punks, not the intellectuals. I preferred to sit alone and enjoy my salad and watered down orange juice on my own.

I sat at the cafeteria table and finished the day's biology homework. It might be a little nerdy, but I may as well get it done now. It's not like I had anyone else to talk to anyway.

The thing I loved about school is… everyone acted as if I were invisible. No one even tried to approach me, no one ever spoke to me. I never did anything to attract attention to myself. None of the boys talked to me. I guessed I was just different.

And I was perfectly fine with that.

After lunch, she headed to her Spanish class and sat down in her usual seat. She felt like Spanish was my worst class – my could only ever get a high B, low A. I wished learning a language was as easy as Shakespeare. But it wasn't.

Later that day, school finally ended with the high pitched sound of the bell. All the excited students jumped up from their seats, ready for the weekend, and headed straight to their father's flashy Porsches or shiny BMWs.

I just had to walk home, but I was happy with it.

By the time I got home, I was covered in sweat. I guessed walking home from school in Arizona wasn't such a good idea. I just didn't want to make Renee come all the way out here just to pick me up. It didn't seem necessary. Or fair.

"Oh, Bella! I could have picked you up!" Renee exclaimed as I walked into the kitchen and practically fell into one of the chairs.

"It's… fine…" I was still getting her breath back.

"The sun is so hot today! How did you stand it?"

I looked up at Renee. Silent evidence.

"Oh, of course you didn't! Silly me."

As I got my breath back, I smiled. I took my homework out of my bag and began trying to pick apart Shakespeare's brain.

"Don't forget to call Charlie!" Renee called to me as she danced out of the kitchen to her room. She was probably going to call Phil for the fifth time today, so I let her go.

I got up to get the home phone, and dialed my father's familiar number.

"Hello, Chief Swan speaking."

"Hey dad, it's Bella."

"Hey, Bells! How's Phoenix?"

I chuckled, thinking about how I got home. "Hot. Mom said you called earlier?"

"Oh, yeah. Just wanted to say hi I guess," Charlie sounded embarrassed, and that just made me embarrassed. I felt the blush spreading across my face.

"Oh," Something crossed my mind that I thought of today in English class. It was eating at me… and I just wanted to ask. "Um… you know how Phil travels a lot?"

I knew Phil was a bit of a touchy subject for Charlie, but I just wanted to ask.

"Yeah. I think Renee mentioned that. Why?"

"Mom feels sort of… lonely when he's away." I twisted the phone's cord around my finger and leaned forward to check Renee wasn't listening. All I could hear was Renee gushing about her morning. "And I want her to be able to travel with him without feeling like she's leaving me behind."

Silent confusion. "Oh… so… ?"

"So, I was wondering… if I decide… would you be happy for me to come to Forks for awhile?"

I could hear Charlie's heart racing from behind the phone. I knew he missed me—and it's not to say I didn't miss him too. I knew when I left Forks, I left behind a part of myself. As much as I hated to admit it, sometimes I wondered what my life would be like if they had of stayed with Charlie.

"Well, sure! I'd be delighted!" Charlie exclaimed, his voice cracking on the last word. He sounded a little nervous. "When you planning on coming?"

"I'm not sure yet," I said, nibbling on my bottom lip. "I will have to check with mom. I'm still not sure… ?"

"Oh. Ok. Yeah, take your time, Bells. I'd be happy to have you." Charlie said with a happy sigh. "I've missed you, Bells. Forks hasn't changed much."

I pictured my old home; moss covered trees, slippery pathways, congested grey clouds… I couldn't help but shudder. _It__'__s for Renee_, I told myself. _It will make her happy._

"Oh… well, it'll be… interesting." I said with a long sigh. I heard Renee's light footsteps getting closer, and I decided that I had better wrap it up with Charlie. "I have to go. I have homework to do. I'll let you know what I… am going to do." My eyes flickered to the doorway, where my mother was entering with a big smile.

"Sure thing, Bells. It was great talking to you. See ya later."

I hooked the phone back onto the console on the wall, and began assembling food items for Chicken and Corn Risotto. Renee bustled around next to her, doing whatever she could to help out.

And all the while I was worrying about how I was going to propose to Renee moving to Forks. It was a concept even I struggled to understand. It gave me the shakes, so I had to distract myself.

"What did you get up to today, mom?"

"Oh! Well, I went to the supermarket this morning. And you'll never believe who I ran into! It's quite a funny story, actually…"

I listened as Renee talked, lighting up her stories with theatrics and hand movements. It was so entertaining listening to my mother's day; She always made it sound so interesting, even when it wasn't.

Until she mentioned Charlie, I had almost forgotten my dilemma.

"So… what'd your dad call for?"

"Just to say hi, apparently."

"Oh. Well, you had quite a long chat." Renee smiled, but hurried to reassure me when she saw my expression. She misread it completely. "That's a good thing. You two don't speak enough."

It always surprised me how Renee acted when she was talking about my father. It was a pretty messy divorce, but unusually, they still kept contact. It wasn't a bad thing at all, but they seemed to feed information to each other, mostly about me. They found ways to coordinate with each other, which was amazing compared to other divorced couples.

"No, you're right, we don't." I stared into the mushy risotto, and stirred. It wasn't one of my favorites, but she knew Renee loved it.

_We might be speaking a lot more very soon_. I thought to myself, while biting her lip.

"So, how's Phil?" I said, spooning risotto into a bowl.

"He only left this morning, but he's staying in a hotel with a few of his buddies." Renee rolled her eyes with a dreamy smile on her face. "He's playing tomorrow."

"That's great, you know, that he's plays all around America." I struggled to find the right words. "It must do wonders for his career." I took both bowls and shoved my homework aside with my elbow.

"Oh, it does." Renee sighed, and for once, she failed to hide the sadness in her eyes.

"But you miss him?"

Renee looked up, and bit her lip. I always knew I had inherited that habit from my mother. "Yeah, but it's not so bad. I have you, right?"

I nodded. "You sure do. Which reminds me. What do you want to do tomorrow?"

"How about we just hang around home?" Renee suggested, looking over towards the back deck. They had a small pool, which Renee enjoyed to sit by and drink lemonade. "Sit by the pool. Drink martinis. Or, _I__'__ll_ drink martinis."

I laughed and focused on eating her risotto for a few minutes. "Sounds good. Is it supposed to be sunny tomorrow?"

_What a stupid question!_

"Yes. When isn't it?" Renee chuckled. "Sometimes I wonder how we _ever_ lived in Forks!"

Once again, Renee surprised me at how comfortable she sounded talking about the past. Although I was young when we moved, I knew mom would have trouble transitioning. But she didn't. Of course, she was upset for awhile, but she met Phil, and now… she's happy. And that's all that matters.

Well, not quite happy, but she will be soon.

I thought about bringing up moving to Forks, but I decided it wasn't the right time. I didn't want to ruin Renee's happy mood. Maybe I'll mention it tomorrow… ?

I wondered how Renee will react. Will she be hurt? Upset? Happy for her to go? Would she miss her?

Looking at Renee now, I had a feeling she would.

Maybe Renee wouldn't think about me when she's travelling with Phil. She'll probably be his little supporter, cheering from the sidelines. Then of a night, she could call me with the news of her day. And email. And text.

_Wait__…__ Renee has trouble texting__…_

Thinking about ways of communication made me feel a little better. Sort of.

After they finished dinner, Renee dragged me to the couch so we could watch TV together. A rerun of '_Friends__'_was showing, so I sat with Renee and laughed at the witty jokes. Afterwards, I made chocolate sundaes for both of us, knowing Renee loved spending time together. Plus, I couldn't help but worry a little. If I moved to Forks, then… I wanted to spend as much time with Renee as possible.

Ten minutes later, Renee put down her empty sundae bowl and turned to me.

"You'll never believe what my friend from my book club introduced me to!" Renee said, smiling. She disappeared to her room for a second, and returned a few seconds later with four knitting needles and five balls of teal colored yarn.

"Knitting?" I laughed, throwing her head back at yet another one of my mother's hobbies.

"Yes! It's fun!" Renee cheered handing over a pair of knitting needles and a ball of wool. "C'mon, I'll teach you! It's seriously a great past time."

"That's what you said about ice skating, and the gym, and rollerblading," I rolled her my eyes and struggled to loop the wool around the needle.

"Yeah, but I'm serious about this!"

I watched on as my scatterbrained mother attempted to knit some sort of hat. She struggled and twisted in her seat on the sofa, getting all frustrated and tangled in the wool. I knew Renee would be over knitting within a few days, but I would let her have her fun.

After hours of resisting wool, I had to give up. "I'm sorry, mom, but I'm so tired. I'm going to go to bed."

"Aw, ok." Renee laughed and sat her needles and wool on the rickety dining room table. "I'm going to go and call Phil."

I smiled, and sighed. Renee calling Phil _again _just reminded me how much she missed him. And how much she would love it if I moved to Forks, allowing her to travel with her husband.

I headed towards her warm room and changed into my pajamas. I brushed her teeth then crawled into bed, on top of the covers. It was too hot for Grandma Swan's woolen blanket.

Lying in the silent darkness allowed me to think a lot more than I wanted to. I listened to Renee chat to Phil about her afternoon, and then explained our knitting experience. I could imagine Phil grinning and rolling his eyes adoringly, just like always.

Phil was good for her. A little young, but they suited each other.

That was my last thought before I drifted off into unconsciousness.

When I woke up, Renee was in the kitchen, making scrambled eggs. I stared at the pan of simmering eggs, then the recipe book that sat next to it.

"You're making breakfast?"

"Is it really that hard to believe?" Renee laughed and grabbed two plates. "I did it for years before you could cook."

"Yeah, true, but it caused a lot of starvation." I joked, taking her plate of eggs and grabbing a piece of toast out of their ancient but reliable toaster.

"Hey! It wasn't that bad."

"Mom, it was."

Renee laughed and sat next to me at the kitchen table.

"This isn't all that bad," I laughed, as she chewed. "I'm impressed. You're getting better."

"Thank you, _Miss Chef of the Year_," Renee laughed, and nudged my hand.

_She__'__ll need some cooking skills when I move to Forks,_ I thought with a sigh. I'll have to mention it eventually. Whether I like it or not.

"Ok! Go and get your bikini and shorts on!" Renee said after breakfast. "We're sun bathing!"

"Mom!" I moaned playfully. "As much as I'd love to lie in the sun with you, I never change! We live in _Arizona_, and I'm still pale!"

"Yeah, but I'm not!" Renee exclaimed and smacked me on the butt on the way to her bedroom.

I sighed and went to my own bedroom to change. I had one chocolate brown bikini; I only owned one bathing suit. I was forced to buy it a few months ago after Renee's swimming phase. I changed into a brown singlet that was one shade lighter than my hair, some denim shorts, and black sunglasses, and then headed outside.

"I made lemonade!" Renee cheered as soon as I sat in a folding chair. She sat both drinks on the little glass table and leaned back in her chair. "Aren't I a genius?"

"You're a mastermind." I laughed, and stretched into my chair. I watched Renee through my sunglasses, debating whether or not to mention moving _now_. It's a good time. She's in a good mood.

"Mom?" I croaked, but Renee didn't open her eyes.

"Yeah?"

My throat felt dry. "Uhh… nothing."  
I closed my eyes and pushed my sunglasses onto the top of my head. I could feel a red rim around my eyes where my glasses sat, but I ignored it.

"You miss Phil a lot, right?"

"Um… sure, I do. But he's only gone for a few days, and then he's back."

"And in another few days, he's gone again."

She knew I was right, and Renee didn't want to admit it.

"I'm perfectly fine." Renee said, shrugging. I could see through her mask of sadness.

"Mmm," I gave up for now and pushed my sunglasses back onto hmy face. I lay back in my chair, and stretched out my white legs in front of her. Although I was only five foot four inches, I felt a little taller when I wore shorts. After a few minutes, I uncomfortably began picking at a loose hem on the corner of my singlet.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Renee said, placing a hand where I was picking. "You seem anxious."

"I'm fine." I mumbled, tilting my head so I was staring straight into my mother's pretty grey eyes. "Are _you_ fine?"

Renee nodded. "In fact, I'm thirsty."

I laughed. "Me too."

We both grabbed our drinks, and I took a huge gulp of my lemonade. Bigger than my mouth could handle, because I almost started choking.

"Mom… I think… I think…" I began when I put down my drink. "I think you should travel with Phil."

Renee laughed it off. She had heard this numerous times. "You know I won't leave you here all on your own."

"Maybe I don't have to be on my own." I said, my voice betraying me with its quietness.

"What? Are we going to get a house sitter or something?"

"Um, well, no…"

"I'm not going to make you stay in this big house all on your own, while I am Phil's groupie." Renee laughed at her choice of words and shook her head. "Oh… you're serious about this, aren't you?"

"I just don't want you to be unhappy whenever he's away." I shrugged, pushing my sunglasses up onto my head and pushing my hair behind my ears. "Because you miss him. And I know you'd rather be travelling with him than being stuck here with me."

"I'm not _stuck_ anywhere," Renee placed a hand on mine, and sighed. "What do you expect to do while I'm away?"

"Well, you know Charlie lives all on his own in Forks… and, well…"

Renee was silent with shock for a moment. She had never really considered this; it had never crossed her mind. She felt like there was only one place for her only daughter: With her.

"If that's what you really want." Renee managed, with a carefree shrug. "But you don't have to. I'm really just fine here."

"But you're not." I shook her head. "I don't want you to wish you were with him when you're here. We both know he would love for you to travel with him."

"That's true, I do miss him," Renee said. "But that doesn't mean I don't like being with you."

"Washington isn't that far away. We can email. Call each other. _Text_," I saw Renee's mouth twist into a frown when I mentioned the last word. "Ok, maybe not text. But we won't be that far away. I promise, we'll keep in touch."

"I know we will, baby," Renee sighed. "I'm just worried you won't be happy in Forks. You don't even like Washington, do you?"

"It's not that bad," I shrugged, attempting to hide her distaste. "I don't mind it at all. It'll be an adventure. For both of us."

"I'll miss you." Renee smiled, and squeezed my hand. She leaned over and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I wrapped my arms around her waist, and we sat like that for awhile. My mother smelled like her perfume; tangy and sweet. It was so _Renee_.

"I'll miss you too." I whispered. "I'm so sorry, mom."

Renee pulled away and smiled. "Don't be sorry. I know you're only trying to make me happy."

"I am. I still love you. I'm not rebelling or anything, I swear."

"I know you're not. It might be good for you to spend some time with Charlie. He is your father, after all."

I looked down and sighed deeply. I shook my head. I couldn't believe I was going through with this. It was ridiculous. But it felt so right.

"Have you told Charlie?"

I looked up, and bit on my lip as I nodded. "Yeah. He's happy to have me."

"He really misses you too, you know." Renee said. "He always has. He really loves you."

"I know he does."

"I'm going to go tell Phil." Renee grinned, and even though I knew Renee wasn't trying to get rid of me, Renee was secretly relieved she would finally get to be with the love of her life.

I thought it would be a good time to let Charlie know I would be coming. I got up and walked into the house, my eyes slowly adjusting from the scorching sunlight to the dark insides of her house. I grabbed the phone and dialed my dad's number.

"Hi, dad."

"Bella! Hi! Did you make up your mind?" Charlie sounded happy. Excited. I had a feeling he has been waiting for this call for awhile.

"I… I have." I sighed. "I'm coming. Ren—I mean, mom is fine with it."

"Well, I'd be delighted to have you." Charlie was grinning behind the phone, and Bella knew it. "When do you think you'll be coming?"

My stomach flipped when I realized that I'll be coming sooner than later; in maybe a week or two. i swallowed loudly and found the courage to talk. "Um… maybe a week?"

"Oh, well then, I'd better start scraping stuff together for your room. It's still just how it was when you left, you know."

"Wow. Well, don't go to too much trouble just for me." i was blushing as red as a tomato. "I'm sure anything will be fine."

"No, no, I want you to be comfortable while you're here." Charlie said.

"Oh, well, thanks… I guess… I guess I'll see you soon." mY voice was barely audible towards the end. i was worried i was going to cry.

"See ya soon, Bells."

I hung the phone onto the console and turned towards the backdoors. Renee was sitting there on her cell phone, chatting to Phil. She sounded happy. i smiled and bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from crying.

i sat back down in MY folding chair and put on a smile for Renee. As i wrapped up her conversation with Phil, i struggled to think of something to say. _I__'__m leaving in a week! Charlie is looking forward to me coming! I can__'__t wait to go!_

None of it sounded right.

"Oh, Bella, you have no idea how happy this makes me." Renee hung up her phone and sat it on the little glass table. She leaned over and hugged MY shoulders again. Suddenly Renee's voice sounded sad. "I'll miss you."

mY throat felt thick. "I'll miss you too, mom. So much. I love you."

"Aw, baby, I'll miss you too. I love you."

"I'm leaving in a week."

Renee was silent for a moment. The sun was beginning to be unbearable for both of them.

"A week? Are you sure?"

"Yes. It's not like I have that much stuff to pack." i shrugged. "I'll just take my backpack for school, my duffel bag, and my suitcase."

"I guess that'll be enough. We'll have to go through your clothes and build some kind of winter wardrobe. You may not remember what it was like in Forks, but it's not exactly warm." Renee's eyes were wary as i sighed about warmth and sun. "What do you say we start?"

"We have a week, mom." i laughed uneasily. Once again, Renee was getting ahead of herself.

"It's not that long, really."

i sighed. "Good point. Let's go."

Renee and I folded up our chairs and headed inside to start gathering. It seemed like I was starting something; something from where I left off. It felt right. Although I was going to miss Renee and Phoenix and the heat…

It's what I needed to do.

It's for the best. Or, that's what I told herself.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry. Late update again. I swear I don't do it on purpose! But anyway… enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. **

I looked out the car window at my home – or, I should say my _old_ home – and sighed deeply. I knew it was all for the best, and yet, I couldn't bring herself to regret the decision. It felt right, even if it didn't seem right at this moment. It will be worth it in the long run.

"Bella," Renee mumbled quietly, not wanting to break my slight sulking session, "I told you. You don't have to do this for me."

"I _want _to go."

Renee turned back around in her seat and concentrated on driving. The airport was coming up soon, but I didn't feel like crying.

The past week has been hectic – getting a winter wardrobe together, signing out at school, tying loose ends. It has gone so fast, though, and I found that sometimes, it didn't go fast enough. I figured, the sooner I could get over the goodbye, the less upsetting it will be.

Renee made the turn into the airport drop off, and parked right in front of the doorway into the terminal. The cool air from the heavy air conditioning blew out into the open air, and relieved my clammy forehead.

Renee and I got out of the car and into the humid air, and then unloaded each one of my bags, slowly. I think we both knew the goodbye was coming. And we were both trying to prolong their time together.

"I'm only a phone call away," Renee promised, squeezing my hand and looking into my eyes. "Heck, you know if you really need me, I'll come running."

I smiled a shaky smile. "Thanks, mom. I love you."

"I love you too. Say hi to Charlie for me."

I nodded and picked up each of my bags. I swayed to the side and nearly hit an elderly woman, but kept walking without looking back. Because I was afraid that if I looked back, I wouldn't want to leave. And I just _had_ to leave, after seeing Renee so happy.

Just before I walked into the terminal, I took one last minute to stand in the sticky air. Although it was uncomfortable, and buggy, it was comforting. And I had already said her goodbyes to the sun. **(A/N: familiar?) **But after a few minutes, I thought I must look lost, so I headed inside and checked in my luggage. For the next hour, I sat at my gate, drinking _Minute Maid_ orange juice. It felt just as homey as the sun did.

The whole plane ride, I couldn't tear my eyes away from the window – I was capturing the last glimpses of heat. Of summer.

Clutching my parker to my chest, I wondered whether I would ever get a chance to wear a singlet again. To ever go swimming again.

I highly doubted it.

From what I remembered from my six years living in Forks, it wasn't sunny often. Or warm. Even in the summer, the rain still came down in sheets, although it was a little warmer.

One of the things that bothered me the most was the fact that rain meant _slippery ground_. Icy ground. Doesn't mix well with the uncoordinated.

The plane ride didn't take long. I wished it took longer, because as soon as the window fogged over with frost, I knew I was getting closer. And I dreaded it.

_I'm doing it for Renee… I'm doing it for Renee… I'm doing it for—_

"We will now begin our decent into Port Angeles, Washington. Please fasten your seatbelts." One of the flight attendants mumbled into the loud speaker, then continued wandering up and down the cabin.

_This was it_, I thought as I rested my head back on the chair, _the start of something new. It'll be good. It'll be an adventure. _

The land was bumpy and frightening – although I wasn't worried. I had expected this. Who wouldn't with all the rain and cloud?

Like Charlie promised, he was waiting at his cruiser. A typical stance for Charlie would be the way he leans against his car with his arms folded; exactly what he was doing now. It reminded me of my childhood.

"Bells!" Charlie cheered and threw an arm around my shoulders. Just as he did so, my foot caught on something on the pavement, and I almost went flying forward. "Still just as clumsy as I remember, huh?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess so. It's good to see you, dad."

Charlie beamed and helped me with her bags. Afterwards, we both loaded into the cruiser, ready for the drive ahead.

"Oh, and mom says hi." I said, leaning against the middle console and staring out the front window at the rain. "I see the weather hasn't changed much,"

Charlie smiled and shook his head. "Nope."

I sighed and twirled my hair around my fingers, watching for at least a beam of sunlight. When I got tired of waiting and turned back to Charlie, he was grinning.

"What?"

"I can tell you're waiting for the sun to come out. Well, don't hold your breath, cause it won't." Charlie laughed, then the expression on his face told me he wished he hadn't of said that. "Anyway… everyone is excited to see you. Billy, his son Jacob, the Cullens—"

"Who are they?" I strained her brain attempting to remember.

"Well… Billy and his son Jacob live in La Push, you used to play with Billy's daughters as a kid," He clarified, but I shook her head, my memory failing me. "And the Cullens… they've always been a good friend of mine. Edward used to be your best friend."

I had a brief flash of recognition, as the picture of Edward and I as a child circulated in my head. I vaguely remembered what Edward was like – bronze haired, green eyed – but that's about it. I hardly remembered the rest of the Cullens at all.

"Oh, yeah, I remember. Kind of."

"They are very interested to see you after all these years," Charlie smiled. "Edward's missed you."

I looked down and blushed; not only did I feel embarrassed that I had been missed, but the fact that he seemed to remember me so well, but I hardly remembered him. It didn't seem fair.

"Oh, well… it'll be great to see them again."

Charlie nodded. "Yeah. It's great to have you here, Bells."

"It's great to be here again." I put on my best smile and turned to stare back out the window. "So… I have some money, you know, for a car and stuff… I have been saving in Phoenix, too, and I decided—"

"No." Charlie said, cutting me off and putting a hand up on the steering wheel. "I have it all covered. Billy, in fact, had the perfect car for you."

"Oh no, dad," I begged, "please. You don't have to do that. I'm really ok with or without a car until I save up some more—"

"No way, Bella," Charlie laughed. "The car runs great! I just want you to be happy why you're here. I'll do everything I can."

I blushed, and bit my lip. "Ok. Thanks dad, so, so much."

"No problem, kid," Charlie pulled into the driveway of his home, and I suddenly remembered so much more. The summers on the lawn on rare sunny days, sitting in the mud, climbing the huge Oak tree – so much of my childhood come flooding back, I felt overwhelmed.

So as I got out, I took in everything about the house and its surroundings, trying to remember. Charlie helped me with the bags, and we both wandered inside.

The house was exactly how I expected – neglected. When I used to live here with Renee and Charlie, it seemed so much more alive. But now… it was empty.

Charlie showed me to her room, and left my things on the floor. The room was small, but cosy – everything was the same, except for the furniture. There was a desk now, a double bed, a wardrobe, and the only thing that seemed original – a rocking chair. I walked in and felt like I might tear up; I remembered so much. It all came crashing down.

I remembered how happy I was. I remembered losing my first tooth in this room, taking my first steps in this room…

But I also remembered my parent's separation. Sitting in this very space, listening to them attack each other verbally and brutally. It hurt me to think about, so I pushed it to the back of my mind and tried to focus on getting unpacked.

As I moved around, unloading everything from my many bags – I tried my best to add personal touches. I wanted to feel at home here; I didn't want to feel miserable. I'd rather be comfortable than depressed.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I whipped it out. "Hello?"

"Bella! Oh, I'm so glad to hear you're ok!"

I laughed. "Mom… it's only been a few hours. I'm fine. I'm at the house."

"Oh, and how is it? Is it raining?"

"Of course it's raining. It's Forks." I laughed again, but it sounded strained. "It's cold, too. God, mom, I miss the heat."

"You'll get used to it. When you come to visit, it'll seem so hot!" Renee sounded flustered and excited. She must be with Phil. "I miss you already, baby."

"I miss you too. I'd better go, I think Charlie is waiting for me downstairs." I looked down the staircase, and saw Charlie's elbow sticking out from around the corner. He looked anxious.

"Ok. Talk soon. Bye, Bella."

"Bye mom."

I hanged up the phone and walked downstairs to meet Charlie.

"So, is everything ok?" Charlie said, putting an arm around me and reminding me once again of my childhood.

"Everything is great, dad. Have we got anything planned for tonight?"

"As a matter of fact, I just got off the phone to Carlisle." Charlie grinned. "He invited us over for dinner tonight. What do you say?"

"Sure. Sounds great." I smiled.

I walked back to my room and fiddled with nothing in particular. I was a little anxious to go to dinner, seeing I felt like I hadn't met these people before. I remembered bits and pieces, but really, they were just like strangers.

In a few hours, Charlie called me downstairs to go. I wore jeans, a red blouse and a parka jacket. I tried to look nice without seeming too… _forks-ish. _I suppose everyone knew you were from Forks just by wearing a raincoat.

The drive in the cruiser was short. I strained her brain to remember where the Cullens lived, or at least parts of town – but I didn't remember much at all. The only thing I remembered was the thick forest that surrounded the Cullen home, and the way Edward and I used to go walking through the woods. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

The driveway was _huge_—and I mean huge. It took them almost five minutes just to drive down. I never thought I'd get to the house, but when I did, I _knew_.

I didn't remember the Cullens being so wealthy. The house was so massive, I had to crane my neck to see the roof. Big and white. Lots of windows and levels.

It was spectacular.

Slowly, I was remembering. Although I couldn't pin point the exact memories, I got brief flashes. Sort of like déjà vu. But in a weird way.

Charlie and I ran to the porch, trying to avoid the rain. The porch smelled of pine and roast beef; I knew instantly what they were having for dinner. I waited nervously as Charlie knocked on the door, and the voices and footsteps got louder.

"Charlie! _Bella_!"

A middle aged woman answered the door, wearing a pencil skirt and a purple blouse. She had the softest face, framed by a curtain of bronze colored hair. I once again felt the strange sense of déjà vu—this must be Esme Cullen. Charlie mentioned her.

"Oh, Bella! Look at you!" Esme came forward and pulled me into a warm hug. She smelled like rosemary and pine, just like her porch. "You're all grown up!"

I smiled and nodded. "Um… it's nice to see you again."

From behind her, a blonde man stepped out the door. He wore a scarf and a black coat, but his hair seemed to light up his whole face. He was glowing.

"It is so great to see you again, Bella." He said, smiling and taking both of my hands in his. He pulled me into a hug, just like Esme had. "You have grown into a beautiful young woman."

I couldn't help but smile at the compliment, although I completely disagreed.

"Thanks, it's… um, great to see you again too," I couldn't help but feel guilty when I noticed how they didn't introduce themselves. They assumed I'd know who they were.

Carlisle pulled back. "Don't tell me you don't remember us."

I shrugged and smiled weakly. "I do… sort of…"

"Come in!" Esme interrupted Carlisle and I's awkward exchange, and ushered Charlie and I inside. The house smelled even more delicious on the inside than the outside – I could tell dinner would be amazing just by the aroma.

Besides the smell, the furniture was exquisite – antique paintings lined the walls, pristine white sofas somehow gleamed in the light… it was as if these people were angels. Was I really part of their family, once?

"_Omigosh, Bella!"_

Someone slammed into me hard, making me stagger. I almost fell over but managed to wrap my arms around the mystery person.

"Uh… hi?"

The girl leaned back, revealing hazel green eyes, and spiky black hair – her size was noticeable, as well. She was almost a head shorter than I was. I realized this must be Alice Cullen.

"Don't you remember me, Bella?" Alice asked, smiling. "It's me, Alice!"

I smiled weakly. "Oh, yeah… I remember."

"I can't believe you're here! We never thought we'd see you again when you never visited!"

My heart clenched, and I bit on my lip. Those last words cut something deep in me, and I wasn't sure how to react. Could Charlie have felt the same way? Was me not visiting really hurting these people?

"I'm sorry, I—"

"But who cares, you're here now!"

I laughed at Alice's happiness – it made me feel more wanted since I got here.

"_Bella_?"

A voice as smooth as silk and as clear as day wafted down the halls, and I leaned around Alice just so I could hear it better.

A tall and lanky boy stood at the bottom of the staircase. His hair was the same shade as Esme's, and his eyes the same color as Alice's. He had the pale skin that Carlisle had, too.

Of course… this was Edward.

"Um… hi, Edward."

Edward walked forward and stood in front of me. He examined me for a second, and stopped on my face. "It's been… so long."

"Yeah, it has." I felt a little uncomfortable – Edward was staring at me like he had never met me before. I suppose, at this age, he hasn't. I must look like a stranger to him. "Sorry about that."

Edward nodded and held his hand out so I could shake it.I grasped his hand, and he shook it firmly. His hand felt soft and a little cold.

"The trio! Back together again!" Alice squealed. Before she spoke, I had forgotten she was there. "Isn't this _great_!"

Edward and I smiled, and for a second, they all stood awkward in the Cullen's living room. I wasn't sure if Edward remembered me or if he had forgotten about me and moved on like I had. I also wondered whether he had kept the picture from when they were six.

They had known each other since they were two. How could they have overlooked each other so easily?

Charlie's booming laugh echoed from the kitchen, making Edward and I jump. Alice just bounced on the spot, humming to herself.

"Do you know what this means, guys?" We both shook our heads. "This means we'll be going to school together! And Bella can meet Emmett and Rosalie and Jasper!"

Edward nodded, and smiled. His smile was crooked, but in a good way – the gesture said something that words never could. As the night went on, I felt more and more welcomed.

In the next few minutes of awkward silence and Alice's humming, Esme called the three to dinner. They sat at the Cullen's long, wooden dining room table, and shared a meal of roast beef, potatoes, carrots, and peas. It was delicious, and only made me think more and more about my past. This family had made me curious.

Even after the meal was over, everyone sat around the table and talked for hours. Esme and Carlisle seemed especially fond of me, and well… Alice was so excited it lit up the whole room. She made me smile. I found it hard to smile in Forks, but maybe… maybe things won't be _that_ bad.

Or, they'll be bad, but just not as bad as I thought they would be.

Edward spent the whole meal examining me, staring at me, watching me eat. I found this a little uncomfortable, but at the same time, I was flattered. After getting zero attention from any of the boys in Phoenix, this was a change.

But why did I get the feeling that this was _bad_ attention?

So I frowned and took it. Whatever Edward did I didn't take any notice. Unless he was talking to me directly, (which by the way, he only did a few times, including in the living room), then I would respond to him.

I wasn't' sure where our friendship stood now, but I knew it was different. Really, really different.

I jumped right out of my train of thought when Esme rested a hand on mine, and gave me a soothing smile. "How is your mother, Bella?"

"She's good." I said, almost choking on my water. "She can travel with Phil now that I moved. That's what she wanted, so…"

"That was a very thoughtful thing to do, Bella. We are so glad to have you back home."

My insides warmed at the word _home_. It made me feel all the more guilty for ditching Forks all together for the past eleven years. It didn't seem fair now, no matter how depressing this place was.

"I cannot believe you're back. It's just… it so great!" Alice bounced, a huge grin on her pixie face. "We can go to school together, and shop together, and—"

"_Shop_?" Charlie spluttered. "Bella doesn't shop."

"She does now."

I shook her head and smiled, thinking of all the things I would end up buying with Alice at my side – it would no doubt be a lot. The mall, to me, equaled hell on earth. But clearly to Alice, it was heaven.

"I remember when I used to take Edward, Alice, and Bella shopping." Esme reminisced, staring off into space. "Edward and Bella always hated it, and lagged behind, but Alice always zoomed ahead to the next store…"

Edward's eyes met mine, and we both looked down.

"See, Edward! Even as a little girl I loved to shop!" Alice giggled at Edward. "Clearly, you and Bella are another story… and haven't changed… sadly."

Everyone at the table laughed, including Edward. It seemed Edward's laughter rumbled over the top of everyone else's. Or maybe that was just me. Whatever, it sounded like bells. It was like listening to your favorite song.

"It's getting late," Charlie said, pushing away from the table and sighing. "And Bella, you're starting at Forks High tomorrow."

Alice squealed, and Edward smiled.

"That's true, Charlie. Thank you so much for coming, it's been so great to see you again, Bella. We've really missed you." Carlisle said, and began to stand up. The four Cullens lead us out to the porch, and we said our goodbyes until tomorrow.

On the way home, I couldn't stop thinking about dinner.

I couldn't stop thinking about how sweet and kind the Cullens were – it was like they didn't have a bad bone in any of their bodies. I couldn't believe I was once like a daughter to Carlisle and Esme. Like a sister to Alice. Like a best friend to Edward. It didn't seem real.

When we got home, we both headed upstairs to bed. I _did_ start school tomorrow, and I knew it would be a big day. I was comforted to know that I would have someone to talk to in the cafeteria, and even have some of my classes with.

Edward…

Edward just fascinated me. I would love to have a look into his mind, see what he thought when he saw me again. Did he remember me? Did he remember how we used to be best friends?

As much as I didn't want to believe it… I had a feeling he didn't.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here's chapter 4. Hope you enjoy.**

**Oh, and one more things – Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper are all one year older than Bella, Edward and Alice. (: **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Stephanie Meyer does, though. **

Early that morning, with a sigh and a moan, I pulled myself out of bed to get ready for my first day at Forks High School. I couldn't be bothered, but I felt a little better thinking about seeing Alice and Edward again.

Well, Alice, but not really Edward.

I pulled on my jeans and a t-shirt, and walked downstairs to grab breakfast. I realized Charlie had gone, but a short note was left for me on the counter.

_Bells,_

_Billy and Jacob stopped by early this morning and dropped off your truck. You weren't awake yet, and I didn't want to wake you. Jacob and Billy said we could come down to La Push one day and visit._

_Hope you like the truck._

I gawked. _Truck?_

Turning my body slightly to peer out the kitchen window, I spotted my new car.

It was red and rusty. It was clearly a Chevy, and it looked, well…

Perfect.

I dropped the note and ran outside, through the sprinkling rain, and jumped into the cab. It smelled of peppermint and tobacco; so it must be old. Maybe from the fifties. But it didn't matter, because this truck was just what I wanted.

I mentally reminded myself to thank Charlie later, and got out of the truck. I ran back through the rain to the kitchen, and began getting breakfast.

After eating a bowl of cheerios and some milk from the carton, I grabbed my coat and headed back out to my truck. I pushed my hood up on my head to shield myself from the rain, but there was no need. The cab was dry and warm.

I didn't know where the school was, but I knew it'd be along the highway somewhere. From what Charlie had said, everything was along the highway. I guessed it made it easier to find your way around.

After driving for several minutes, I could see a brick building surrounded by hundreds of bushes and trees—I made the turn, knowing this must be the school. It looked way too small, but what else was there?

The car park was buzzing with students… they were all standing in the rain. Without an umbrella. Without a raincoat.

Were these people _insane_?

I supposed they have probably lived here their whole lives. They're used to it. Unlike me… I was used to scorching sun and hot pavement.

I found a spot closest to the office building, and parked. As I got out, I wasn't expecting the ground was going to be so far down. I stepped right into a puddle, and almost slipped right onto my backside.

Just in time, I grabbed onto the handle of the truck's door. Just as I righted herself, Alice and Edward appeared on the other side of my truck, staring at me with amusement.

"Great start to a first day?" Alice shrugged, smiling.

I glared.

"Or not…"

I pulled myself up and pulled my jacket tight around hmy chest. "Is it always this… cold?"

"You'll get used to it," Edward shrugged, his face emotionless. No smile. Not even a frown.

"I have to go and get my schedule," I said, looking down at the ground. "I might see you guys in one of my classes. See you later."

I pulled my backpack onto my shoulder and stalked towards the office. It practically looked like a house; small and made of bricks. Don't these people have any idea what a school should look like?

"Hi, I'm Isabella Swan." I said to the older woman with classes behind the desk crowded with pot plants and posted notes.

"Oh, yes," She said, as if she had expected me and knew me by name. Hold on, this _is _Forks… of course she does. She probably knows my whole life history.

She handed me a school map and a schedule, then sent me on my way. She told me to return to the office at the end of the school day to hand in a slip that came with the map.

I hated first days. Especially with a moody boy who can't seem to remember anything about her.

First: English, Block 3.

Ok, this shouldn't be too hard. There are probably only a few blocks in this tiny little school. I will probably find it in seconds.

I was wrong.

I found block 4, and decided to head to the left, assuming the building numbers would descend depending on how to the left I walked.

Once again, I was wrong.

The further away from Block 4 I went, the more lost I seemed to get. I thought I had a pretty good sense of direction, but maybe I was wrong.

Somehow, I ended up in this circle of trees – it was like a little circle of vegetation. I spun around in a circle, but I still had no idea which direction to head.

_Could this day be any worse_?

This was crap. This was bad.

I ended up exiting the circle of trees the way I had come in, and ended up directly in front of block 3.

_What the hell_? I thought to myself in disgust, and pushed my way into the building. I found my classroom easily enough, and then got scolded as soon as I entered the room.

"I'm so sorry I'm late, Mr…" I hastily and embarrassingly looked down at my schedule. Several laughs radiated around the small classroom. "Berty. I got sort of lost, and—"

"Getting lost isn't an excuse for being late, Ms Swan."

God, did _everyone_ in this school already know my name?

"I'm sorry, Sir, it won't happen again," I muttered quietly, and retreated to the seat closest to me. I quickly dug out a pen and my notebook, and sat it in front of me.

"As I was saying, before I was interrupted by Isabella," Mr Berty purposely looked at me as he spoke. I felt so humiliated I wanted to sink under my desk and hide.

As he went on, I scanned the room, checking for anyone I recognized.

There was no one. I was alone in English.

x-x-x-x

After sitting through a number of humiliating, yet somehow laid back classes, if was time for the period I hated the most – lunch time.

Back home, I would sit on my own. It was plain, and it was simple. But here? I was sort-of-friends with the Cullens. It was complicated and it was tricky.

As I entered the cafeteria after taking a ridiculously long time at my locker, I entered the cafeteria with my bag slung over my shoulder and a tight smile on my face. First of all, I headed for the food line – _best to start light_, I thought. I grabbed some lemonade from the cabernet and moved forward to pay.

"Bella? Bella!"

Alice's small voice rung out amongst the sea of others. She wrapped her arms around me, nearly knocking me over. Or maybe that was just because I was generally clumsy.

"I heard about your little… trip you took before English," She giggled.

Wait… how did she… ? "Um. . ." I just muttered uncomfortably.

"Jasper told me about it," She waved her hand in front of me as if I was supposed to know who Jasper was. "But it's ok, the school can get a little confusing."

I looked down as we walked away from the counter. She took my hand and led me towards a table, where four people sat together, watching Alice and I from head to toe.

They were all incredibly old for their age; or, I thought they were. I only recognized Edward out of the four – the others I assumed were Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper. These were the people Alice talked about earlier.

"Guys, this is Bella Swan." Alice introduced me happily and pulled out a chair.

"_The_ Bella Swan?" A big, burly boy chuckled from across the shiny, plastic table. He looked back at Edward, who was smiling. "Jeez, Edward, with the amount of times you used to talk about her, and after how often she visited" – he gave me a disapproving and sarcastic look when he said this – "I thought she was imaginary!"

I smiled and took my seat beside Alice. "Well… I'm real."

I hadn't missed what he had said about Edward – the fact that he used to talk about me. I guessed this meant that Edward _did_ talk about me, not _does_ talk about me – obviously I was forgotten, and Edward had stopped caring.

"Bella, that's Emmett," Alice laughed. "And next to him, is Jasper and Rosalie."

Jasper was tall and lean – his hair was an odd shade of honey gold. It wasn't quite as light as Rosalie's, but not quite as dark as Edward's. He was an odd in between.

And Rosalie – it hurt just to look at her. She was stunning. More than stunning. She was _glowing._ Even though she was frowning, it looked like she was striking a model-like pose. Her perfect body and pretty features made me instantly intimidated.

"Nice to meet you," I said pleasantly.

"Hey, Bella," Jasper smiled slightly at me, but he seemed less friendly than Emmett or Alice.

Rosalie didn't say a word. She sat with her arms crossed, and a tight frown on her perfect face. I immediately looked away, while the awkwardness passed across the table.

"Anyway," Alice mumbled. "We have Spanish together next, Bella. Have you learnt Spanish before?"

As Alice tried to pass the discomfort, and I murmured an answer, Edward was whispering things to Rosalie. I suddenly had a feeling they were dating. Why did that thought bother me so much?

Maybe it was because I remembered a promise we had made as children.

_You can't ever replace me, Edward._

Yes, that must be it, I thought to myself, and tried to relax into the back of my hard and plastic chair.

Lunch passed without speaking a word to Rosalie or Edward; Jasper, Emmett and Alice seemed to be talkative and friendly. They talked about the teachers and students of Forks High School– they all made me laugh more than once, especially Emmett.

"Bet you miss the sun, huh?" Jasper asked me. He clearly wasn't as chatty and bubbly as Emmett and Alice, but he was nice enough.

"Ha," I laughed without humor. "You have no idea. Forks has its charms, though, right?"

Emmett, Alice and Jasper laughed along with me, while Edward and Rosalie continued to murmur into each other's ear.

I imagined what they must be saying to each other.

_I love you so much_, Edward would murmur to Rosalie. In turn, she would reply, _I love you more. Let's say we ditch this place and find somewhere quiet._

The thoughts made me shudder, even though she had no idea why.

After lunch, Alice and I walked to Spanish class, while Edward, Jasper and Rosalie walked to Chemistry. Jasper was on his own in Calculus.

"I don't think Rosalie likes me," I whispered nervously to Alice as they began the assignment Mrs. Goff had assigned.

Alice waved her off. "Don't worry about her. She'll come around. Anyway, I'm sure it's not you."

"It must be."

"Rosalie just takes some time to warm up to you, that's all!"

I wasn't convinced. I had obviously done something to irritate Rosalie – and Edward. The words tumbled out of my mouth before I had time to think about them.

"Edward doesn't seem to like me, either."

Alice dropped her pen to stare at me in shock. "Bella… you've been friends since you were two."

"So? I haven't visited since we were seven. I don't blame him if he doesn't like me anymore," I shrugged as I translated an easy sentence in Spanish. "He has only ever talked to me once. And he was forced."

"Don't be silly, Bella," Alice hushed her. "He likes you. He's missed you so much, he just doesn't know how to express what he feels."

Once again, I was unconvinced.

x-x-x-x

"How was your first day at school?" Charlie asked me over a meal of steak and salad. He was too busy chewing to see my sour expression.

"It was… ok," I sighed, trying my best to cover up the sadness in my voice. I tried to disguise what I was feeling by talking and chewing at the same time. "Actually… it, was… sort of… strange,"

"Strange?" Charlie asked, raising an eye brow. "You had plenty of people to sit with at lunch, didn't you?"

"Yeah. I sat with the Cullen's and some of their friends, actually."

"That's great, Bells," Charlie smiled a crinkly eyed smile. "They're such nice kids. I wouldn't doubt their friends would be nice, too."

"They're not that nice to me," I just _had_ to say it. "Or, Alice, Jasper and Emmett are. Edward and Rosalie… well, I think they hate me."

"_Edward_?" Charlie shook his head. "I don't know about this _Rosalie_, but Edward could never hate you. You were tied at the hip as you were growing up."

I rolled her eyes. "I know dad. But maybe I did something… like… not visit often enough?"

"You did the best you could," Charlie must have sensed the discomfort in my voice as I mentioned visits and the lack of. "That can't be it. Maybe he's just… overwhelmed to have you back."

"Overwhelmed?" I snorted and pushed my salad around my plate. I suddenly wasn't hungry. "He doesn't like me, dad. And that's that."

"If it really bothers you…" Charlie frowned at me. "I can call Esme and Carlisle, and ask—"

"No!" I exclaimed, too loudly for our quiet kitchen. Charlie and I both jumped a foot into the air. "It's fine."

"Ok, Bells," Charlie chuckled. "Let me know if you want some help, though."

Later that night, after my homework was done and the cleaning was through, I turned to the deathly computer to answer my mom's emails.

_Bella,_

_How are things in Forks? Have you reunited with Edward and Alice? Are you just as close to Edward as you used to be? Will I possibly get to meet him as your future boyfriend when I come to visit? Send my love to their parents, please?_

_Phil and I are on the road. We have just come back from Atlanta after Phil and his team lost their first game. They were upset, but they're next game is at home, tomorrow. _

_Please, tell me you're happy._

_Love, Mom. _

I reread mymother's email over and over with longing; I missed Renee so much. Her carelessness, her bounciness, even her ever changing hobbies. I missed our sunlit home that always seemed to be humid, even on the coldest days.

I couldn't spend too much time reminiscing, or I might cry.

I answered all Renee's questions, and added a little message of my own:

_Mom… Edward doesn't like me. He ignores me. The only time he's spoken to me since I've arrived was when his parents forced him. I'm not going to lie when I say I'm a little confused – I admit, I hadn't really remembered him, but I thought he'd at least make an effort to be my friend again._

_And then there's Rosalie – I think she's dating Edward. Today at lunch, she just sat there and glared at me. I had never met her before this, and she already hated me._

_Is there something wrong with me, Mom? _

_I wish you were here. I love you._

_Bella. _

I sighed and shut down my ancient computer, then climbed into bed so I could dream about my old home and the never fading sun.

x-x-x-x

Weeks passed, and Edward had done nothing but spared a few glances at me. I was hurt – I desperately wanted to know him. To be his best friend again. To share our secrets together and promise never to tell a soul.

By the looks of things, that is never going to happen.

There was no progress with Rosalie, either. She continued to either avoid me all together, or sit there and ignore me. Emmett, Jasper and Alice and welcomed me with open arms; I had even found out Alice and Jasper were happily dating.

Rosalie and Edward didn't leave each other's sides. They seemed to have almost all their classes together, and even spent lunch time whispering in each other's ears like they were star crossed lovers.

By the looks of it, they were.

Edward seemed to avoid situations where he and I were left alone. And even if they were, they were never left by themselves for more than a minute – Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie or Alice always swooped in before I had time to make conversation.

I thought it was tiring, watching Edward from a distance. More than that, it was _unbearable_.

I remembered Edward being cute, shy, yet friendly as a child – so why was he being so distant? Every time he looked at me, he didn't smile, he didn't even scowl; his face turned emotionless behind his pale green eyes.

On a rare sunny afternoon, Alice invited me over to the Cullen mansion to swim in their indoor pool. I didn't even remember the Cullens having an indoor pool – but maybe they got it installed.

On the way to the Cullen house, I thought about the picture I had brought from Phoenix of Edward and I, smiling and covered in mud.

I wished we could become friends. Not even best friends, just… friends.

I wore my tan colored bikini under my clothes, already embarrassed though I hadn't even taken my clothes off yet. The thought of Edward seeing me in a bikini made me smile a little.

Maybe he'd remember her, just a little.

Alice waited for me at the door to the house, just like she used to do—but Edward wasn't with her.

_What a surprise,_ I thought to herself.

"Hey, Bell!" Alice squealed happily, and something from the back of my mind recalled that name—it was the nickname Alice and Edward had used all those years ago. "Hope you're ready for a swim!"

"Yeah, sure," I smiled at her and walked into the house, passed the kitchen, and into the backyard. Esme and Carlisle waved from the garden, where they both knelt, knee deep in wild flowers.

I could hear muted whoops and yells coming from the greenhouse-like dome at the far end of the backyard. I squinted to make out the four people swimming together – Edward, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper.

As they came in, Emmett called, "Hey Bella! Hope you're ready to get thrown in!"

I laughed – a real, tingling laugh that felt so good against my stiff lips – and left my bag next to a deck chair beside the pool. Alice and I began taking off our outer layers, as Emmett, Jasper and Edward splashed each other with the ice cold water.

The first thing I noticed as I turned around was Edward – he was wearing only board shorts, which hung loosely on his hips. His chest looked shiny and smooth; I tried not to stare.

_Had Edward always looked this gorgeous_? I thought to myself, and then scolded myself afterwards. I couldn't have those thoughts about him when he was never going to return them.

"A little embarrassed, Bella!" Jasper teased, as I inched closer to the edge of the pool. Obviously, I was blushing bright red, and everyone could see.

Rosalie scoffed.

Rosalie looked even more stunning in a swim suit than with clothes on. She wore a blood red bikini, which seemed to compliment her skin tone perfectly.

I felt disgusting in comparison.

Just before I dove in, I felt a set of strong hands push against my back – and send me flying into the pool. With a gargled shriek, I resurfaced and flashed Emmett a watery smile.

"Emmett!" I complained, as the boys (Edward included) threw their heads back and laughed. "I was about to dive in!"

"Not fast enough," Emmett shook his head and jumped back into the pool.

"I don't remember you guys having an indoor pool," I looked around in wonder. I looked at Edward. "Is it new?"

"Fairly," He shrugged, uninterested. He wasn't even looking at me when he answered. I felt a pang of hurt. "We installed it just after you left, actually."

_If you had visited, you'd know_, I could imagine him saying. I knew this was what he was trying to translate behind his clear and honest green eyes.

I looked down guiltily.

"I can't imagine what Edward would've been like as a kid," Jasper shook his head and splashed over to Alice. He wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her forehead. "Got any embarrassing stories, Bella?"

This was the worst possible question to ask. Because Edward and Alice both knew I didn't remember much of their childhood—so I could barely answer Jasper without stuttering.

"Eh…"

"I remember!" Alice came to my rescue with a bright smile. "Edward and Bella were sitting on the porch together when they were six, and Edward leaned so close to Bella that he fell off the porch!"

Everyone laughed, except me, Edward and Rosalie – Edward and I didn't remember, and Rosalie just clearly didn't care.

"Damn," Emmett shook his head and grinned at me. "Edward has told me some stories too, but they were all about Bella. There was one time, when—"

"Emmett," I instantly groaned, trying to hide my shock about what Emmett had said. "Please, don't tell any more stories. I was such a clumsy kid… it's not nice…"

Emmett slapped me on the shoulder and winked. "Ok, Bell, I won't say a word. But if you ever get on my bad side… you are going to be glowing red!"

I sighed. "I know."

I stayed and swam with the Cullens and their friends for the next three hours – I was almost a prune when we all decided to move the pool party inside.

Rosalie didn't say much at all since I arrived – and everyone noticed. Alice attempted to get her to talk, though Rosalie was always reluctant and stayed near Edward. Like lunch, (but not nearly as often,) they whispered to each other.

Esme and Carlisle invited me to stay for dinner, while Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie left to go home. I agreed and called Charlie to tell him he'd have to call pizza tonight.

"Alice and I are going to go and grab some Italian food from Port Angeles," Esme told Edward and I, just before they walked out the door.

Carlisle went to his office to finish some paperwork for the hospital… leaving Edward and I alone.

"You want to come up to my room?" Edward asked me, sounding completely uninterested once again.

"Um, sure."

Edward's room was exactly how I remembered – minus the teddy bears and toy trains. It still smelt the same – I had remembered his smell all through the years. It was hard to forget.

Something caught my eye, and I walked to Edward's wardrobe.

"Oh my gosh," I smiled and picked up the small, blue button. I remembered the day Edward and I had found this button, buried in my backyard. The memory sent a rush of sadness through me, reminding me of life before Phoenix. "You still have this?"

Edward shrugged and came to stand next to me. "Yeah. I just found it again last week."

I felt disappointed. I thought he had kept this for the whole ten years—but I was wrong.

"Oh, right."

"Mm…"

I crossed the room and picked up at picture frame – it held a picture of Alice and Edward. They looked thirteen, both being dressed up as vampires.

"This is cute," I smiled at it. I looked up to see Edward beside me. "When was this?"

Edward shrugged, and muttered harshly, "Years after you left."

I felt the sting of hurt again and put the picture back down.

"Look Bella," Edward stepped closer to me, so close I could smell the sweet smelling shampoo in his hair. "I know Alice is trying her hardest for us to be best friends again, but… I don't think it's going to happen."

I blinked in surprise. "Why not?"

"You left. And you didn't come back."

I looked down shyly. This was going to be held against me forever. "I know, and I'm sorry. I did miss you—"

"For about… a week after you moved?" He finished my sentence and raised an eye brow. "I never forgot you for _years_. _Years_, Bella. You were my best friend, and you were never replaced."

I noticed his use of _were_. That had obviously changed.

"I know. You weren't replaced either, I promise."

"If you had never visited, I might have understood. But you never ever _tried_ contact us," Edward mumbled. "It hurt Alice, and at the time, it hurt me."

_At the time_, I thought with a sigh.

"I can't say how sorry I am, Edward. I wish I could do something to repay you. Maybe we could try again—"

"I don't know, Bella," Edward cut me off again. Downstairs, Esme and Alice were arriving home with the food.

Edward stalked past me, and then muttered:

"Oh, and Bella? Don't expect me to remember anything."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey, everyone. My "No Computer During the Week Rule" has been lifted! So now I can write a lot more (:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

x-x-x-x

Edward's harsh words from his bedroom had hit me hard; I could still feel the sting in my eyes and the ache in my heart.

I thought it was all pretty stupid, really. I barely remembered Edward, and he didn't remember me. Well, he did, until he gave up.

What kind of person am I, if I had forgotten her best friend like that? If we were as close as everyone described… shouldn't we be just as close now?

_No, _I thought with a sigh, as I drove back to my house nestled against the forest. _I didn't visit, I didn't call. I didn't even think about him. Why should he want to become my best friend again_?

As soon as I had gotten home, Charlie greeted me with a lopsided smile. He was half asleep, draped across the sofa in front of the TV.

"Good dinner?" He slurred, one side of his hair flat against his head. Clearly, he had been lying there for awhile.

"Yeah, it was fine." I answered, a little robotically, and headed for the stairs. "I'm going to go to bed early. Night."

"Night Bells."

As soon as I had brushed my teeth and gotten into a pair of comfy sweat pants, Alice called.

"Hello?"

"_Hey Bella!_" She chirped happily.

"Didn't I leave your house, like… ten minutes ago?"

"_Yes, but I was just wondering… did you say anything to my brother while Esme and I were getting dinner?"_

"We spoke… a little…" I blushed at the thought of our conversation. "Why?"

"_When you left, he seemed kinda… annoyed. Irritated. But then again, that's pretty typical Edward._" She laughed without humor. "_So… what'd you talk about?_"

"Uh… stuff."

"_What kinda stuff?_"

"I don't know… just…" I struggled with how to describe this to Alice, my best friend since I moved to Forks. "He told me he didn't want to be my friend."

Ok, so I was a little away from the truth. But I had a feeling that's practically what Edward's was trying to say, when he said, "Don't expect me to remember anything."

Alice seemed to think otherwise.

"_Wait, what? No! That's not true!_"

I sighed. "It's true, Alice."

"_Tell me exactly what he said. Don't miss anything._"

So I explained everything that Edward and I had exchanged that evening – including his body language and harsh words. Alice _mm_ed and _aah_ed, and I instantly knew that Alice had adopted me as her new best friend.

"_That's doesn't mean anything, Bella,_" Alice scoffed as soon as I had finished. "_My brother is moody and stubborn. He'll warm up to you in no time at all, just like he did all those years ago. Did you know after you left, he refused to be anyone's friend for the next three years?_"

A wave of remorse hit me so hard, I almost toppled over. I sat on my bed and folded my legs. "W-What? No, that can't be right…"

"_Yep. He waited for you to call, almost every night. He'd had a bit of a crush on you, Bella," _I could practically see Alice rolling her eyes behind the phone. _"It was the most obvious thing in the world. Carlisle and Esme expected you to be together, you know, until you left."_

I looked down at my feet as I sifted through Alice's words in my head. I couldn't help but think of what it would have been like if I hadn't of moved – maybe, no—probably, Edward and I would have ended up dating.

An image of Edward and I holding hands made me blush red.

"Well, that's never going to happen now," I muttered quietly into the phone. "He hates me. It's official."

"_He doesn't hate you, Bell. Give him a little time to learn to trust you again. You'll be friends in not time, trust me!" _There was a whole lot of rustling on the other line. "_Uh!"_ Whispering. "_Fine, Edward! I'll get off the phone! Why do you need it anyway?"_ A pause and more whispering. "_God, don't you ever leave Rosalie alone?_" She seemed to remember I was still there, and giggled. "_Oh, sorry, Bella. I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow at school. Bye!"_

"Bye, Alice."

I put down my cell phone and closed my eyes. I could imagine Edward and Alice fighting over the phone, just so Edward could talk to Rosalie. The Greek God and the Beauty Queen. How perfect.

I desperately wished I still had a friendship with Edward. I wished we could sit on the porch like we used to, go to each other's houses every weekend for hours without a break.

I desperately wished I had visited more. Not just for Edward, but for Alice and Charlie. I knew they missed me, and I missed them so much.

I had been a horrible daughter and best friend.

And now, I possibly could have lost someone very special because of it.

x-x-x-x

The next day at lunch, Edward seemed even colder than usual – I assumed it was because of the words we shared in Edward's bedroom on Sunday evening, but I started to think it was something else.

"Carlisle and Esme want you to bring over Charlie, Bella," Alice gushed. "They want to invite over Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie's parents too. Have, like a barbeque, or something."

I nodded. "Sounds good. I'll tell Charlie about it, and then tell him to call Carlisle and Esme."

"Cool!" Alice grinned. "They said they wanted to see you more, too, Bella. Just like old times."

"Great," I heard Rosalie mutter under her breath.

Alice shot Rosalie and icy look.

Edward looked away from our table and shook his head, his brow furrowing over his eyes.

Not only did I realize that Edward was angrier than usual, but I also realized that Edward and Rosalie _weren't _together, but _Emmett_ and Rosalie were.

I wondered how I didn't notice before – the way Emmett sat beside Rosalie, a hand resting on her arm, or her knee, or her hand.

Relief washed over me, though I knew it shouldn't have.

Then, why did Edward and Rosalie seem so close? Almost like… _best friends_?

Maybe it was because they shared the same dislike for me.

I sighed, lying back in my chair, as my eyes began to water. I felt so stupid – I was _crying_ over him? But… why?

Because… though I hadn't talked to Edward for years, I still felt like we were connected in some way; we were still close. We were supposed to be best friends, just like old times.

And I felt like we would never, ever be that again.

"I'm such an idiot," I muttered under my breath, so low no one heard. I scraped my chair across the floor, grabbed my bag off the back of my chair, and stumbled to the bathroom without looking back.

"I wish I never came," I cried to myself, not knowing who exactly I was trying to talk to. "I want to go home, and never, ever come back. I _hate_ this!"

I leaned against the sink and closed my eyes – fighting the tears, just in case someone was near. Surely, if they find out, the word will somehow travel to Charlie.

And I couldn't hurt him that way.

I had to pretend I was happy, at least for my dad. Though I hated it in Forks, I knew my father loved having me there. And I wouldn't make him upset.

I straightened myself out and redid my hair, then walked back out of the bathroom. When I saw Edward from across the room, I had to fight tears again before sitting back down at the table. Edward made me so emotional – his disapproval cut me deep – but I wouldn't let him see how much he hurt me. No, I would be defiant.

"Hey, Alice," I said brightly. "We should do something this afternoon. What have you got in mind?"

Alice grinned. "Well… you could come over, and I could give you a makeover!"

I hesitated. "Uh… " _Be normal_. I thought to myself. "Sure. Ok. Just let me drop my bag back at the house, and then I'll be right over."

"Cool!" Alice bounced in her chair, and I was so grateful for her I could almost forget about Edward. _Almost_…

x-x-x-x

That afternoon, after dropping off my heavy school bag, I headed straight to the Cullen's place for Alice's makeover. I was a little excited – there was another girl in me that loved to be pampered, no matter who by.

But my excitement vanished when I pulled up into the driveway, and saw Edward and Alice, leaning against the doorway, just as they did when they were young.

But so much had changed; instead of seeing Edward's bright smile and sparkling green eyes, I saw his lopsided frown, and eyes so dim that they could have been black.

How had things changed so easily? What happened to our promises?

"Hey, Bell!" Alice pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek before I had hardly made it to the first step. "You ready to look beautiful?"

"Thanks, Alice." Edward coughed a laugh from next to Alice. "You make me feel great."

"I meant… ever _more_ beautiful than you already are!" Alice giggled and dragged me into the house then slammed the door. I wondered why Edward still waited with Alice by the door, if he supposedly hated me so much. I would never understand that boy.

"Hello, Bella!" Esme ran to us as we passed the kitchen, forcing us to stop so I could give each of the kid's a hug and a kiss. I smiled at the memory of sweet Esme, always providing fresh cookies or warm hugs even on the coldest days. "So glad to see you again! I hope you reminded Charlie about our offer!"

"I didn't," I confessed. "But I will."

"We'd love to have the whole family over!" Esme cheered. She was always so happy. "Carlisle and Charlie have some catching up to do."

"Ok, ok mom," Alice gave her mother a stern look. She took my hand and began leading me away. "We have business to attend to!"

Esme's laugh became fainter as Alice led me up to my room and into the bathroom. Edward tried to follow (which confused me to no end) but Alice pushed him away before he even got close.

"Edward! Go away! You can't come in here until I'm done!" Alice swatted him away easily. He had a smile on his face, confusing me again. "You'll think she looks gorgeous when I'm done with her! You'll just have to wait!"

I looked down as I blushed red.

"Embarrassed, are we?" Alice nudged my shoulder. She was leaning in front of me to pick up a bottle of moisturizing cream. "There's no need. Which reminds me… I didn't just plan this makeover just to make you look pretty."

"You… didn't?"

"No. I figured you needed some girl time."

I sighed. "Yeah, that's probably what I need."

"What's on your mind, Bell?" Alice tilted my head up to rub the cream into my skin. "Is it Edward? It's Edward, isn't it."

"Not for the reason you think," I tried to look down but Alice yanked my head back up again. "He still doesn't like me Alice, and I don't know why. What did I do? Besides not contact him, of course…"

Alice shrugged. "I think he's in denial. He doesn't want to forgive you for not visiting, but he's having trouble not giving in and being your friend again."

"I don't think that's it. He _hates_ me, Alice, I know it."

"Haven't we been over this?"

"Yes. Maybe. But it's not getting any better like you said it would. He still glares at me, and doesn't talk to me, but he talks to Rosalie _about _me…"

Alice shook her head. "Oh, Rosalie and Edward. Those two are trouble together."

"What do you mean?"

"They had a bit of a… _romance, _if you will. In tenth grade." Alice explained as she dusted my face with some sort of duster. "Rosalie really liked Edward, but he could never return the favor. Eventually, he gave in to her, and they started dating. But as you can see, it never really worked out. They began to dislike each other more and more, and I think that's how Rosalie got so bitter. They never stopped being friend's, though – they're still pretty tight, actually."

I nodded, taking it in. "I know. I've noticed. Rosalie is with Emmett, right?"

"_Yes,_" Alice rolled her eyes. "Haven't you seen them? They are the worst with PDA."

I tried not to giggle or smile at the confirmed news that Rosalie and Edward were not together. My smile disappeared when I got worried that it was a bad thing I was happy.

"Why do you ask?" Alice raised an eye brow. "Do you have your eyes on someone?"

I shook her head frantically. "Definitely not. Emmett is with Rosalie. Jasper is with you. And the only person left is…"

"My brother." Alice nodded and smiled. "You used to have major crushes on each other when we were younger. I wouldn't be surprised if you still felt something for each other."

I could finally look down and blush as Alice grabbed her mascara off the bench. She began applying it within seconds, though, making my eyes water.

"Bella, if you keep on blushing, you're going to burn the makeup off." Alice mumbled. She laughed and took something else off the counter. "Edward isn't _tha_t blush-worthy, is he?"

"I'm not blushing about Edward!" I blurted out too unconvincingly. Alice giggled.

"Then _who_ are you blushing about?"

"No one. Nothing. Let it go."

Alice shrugged and left the room to get something. She returned seconds later with a purple curler. I groaned.

"Shut up, Bell!" Alice joked and plugged in the curler. "You're hair isn't as curly as it was when you were little. Edward used to always tell me he liked it curly."

I was blushing again.

"I don't think Edward cares anymore," I murmured to myself. "No matter what I look like."

"I have a plan up my sleeve." Alice twirled a lock of my chestnut brown hair around the curler. "It'll work, you'll see."

I bit my lip anxiously.

Alice finished with my hair and added the last touches to my makeup in the next half an hour – I looked like a whole different person by the end. My face looked brighter and healthier, my hair looked shiny and smooth. I thought I did actually look a lot like I did when she was younger.

"Oh Edward!" Alice ran away from her, leaving me standing in Alice's room awkwardly. "She's done! Come and see!"

Edward and Alice returned quickly, bringing Esme with them. Edward and Esme both looked me over, with slight smiles on their faces – well, Esme was grinning. Edward was smiling an awkward lopsided grin.

"I need to go and get the camera!" Esme clapped her hands and ran off towards her room. "Well," Edward looked at me, his eyes a little brighter. "You look nice."

"Thanks." I went bright red.

"Younger." Edward observed, raising and eye brow and watching as Esme came bounding into the room like an excited Alice.

"Let's get a picture of all three of you!" Esme pushed us all together and stepped back to take the photo. And soon as the flash went off, Alice had disappeared out of the frame, leaving Edward and I.

"Smile you two! Get closer!"

I was already shoulder-to-shoulder with Edward, forcing them to merge even closer. I could see Edward's distaste, causing me to frown.

"Smile, Bella!" Alice winked at me.

I put on a fake smile until the flash went off. Esme raced forward and kissed both of them on the cheek, and whispering something into Edward's ear, causing him to sigh.

"What was that about?" Alice whispered into Edward's ear.

I went into Alice's bathroom to pick up my cell phone off the counter. I hovered a little longer than necessary, wanting to hear the rest of Alice and Edward's hushed conversation.

"Oh," Edward waved her off. "Just our mother telling me how _sweet_ Bella and I looked together." He rolled his eyes. "How _perfect_ we could be."

"It's true, you do." Alice retorted with a smile. "And you could be."

"_Could_," Edward seemed to sigh in defeat.

I chose now to exit the bathroom, shoving my phone into my back pocket. "I think I'd better go. Charlie will be waiting."

"Ok." Alice led the way downstairs. "I hoped you enjoyed this afternoon, Bella. We all agree that you look amazing. Right, Edward?"

Edward nodded. "Sure."

"See you tomorrow!" Alice waved from the front door. I walked to my truck, and hastily got into it before the rain messed with my makeup and hair. "Try not to wreck you hair!"

I pulled out of the driveway, feeling a little lighter than when I came in. After all, Edward had said I looked _nice._ That's the nicest thing he's said to me since I came to Forks!

But in a way, that made me a little sad.

x-x-x-x

That night, as I lounged on my bed listening to my mother's old music, the phone started to ring. I let Charlie answer it, assuming it would be Renee.

"Bella!" Charlie called up the stairs. "It's Edward on the phone!"

I felt my stomach drop nervously as I climbed off my bed and headed downstairs. I took the phone from Charlie and took a minute to say, "Hi Edward."

"Hey, Bella." He still sounded a little angry. "Alice is going to kill you if you have destroyed your makeover."

"Yeah, I know. And I haven't." I chuckled. "So… is that why you called?"

"Well… no." He cleared his throat. "I was wondering if… you wanted to have dinner with me, on Friday night."

I was stunned. Surprised. Open mouthed.

And I had no idea what to say. Or how to react – was I supposed to smile? Or be excited? Or be… angry or upset?

"Bella?"

"Oh. Um." I hardly thought about my words before I said, "Sure. I'd love to have dinner with you."

Usually, in movies, you can hear the boy smile behind the phone. But now right now; I thought Edward sounded disappointed I had agreed. He sounded like he had hoped I would decline – and that made me feel like a piece of garbage. But O couldn't refuse Edward. My best friend.

"I'll see you tomorrow, then. We'll discuss time and place." Edward sounded like he wanted to end the conversation, and fast. "Sleep well, Bella."

And he was gone.

I hooked the phone back on the cradle, feeling numb. Having Edward ask me out on a date should have made me happy. Why did I feel so dissatisfied?

"So," Charlie walked into the kitchen, his arms folded. "Did I just hear you agree to go to dinner with Edward?"

I nodded slowly. "Sure did."

"Well." He smiled. "Looks like the golden couple are on their way to becoming best friends again."

"Dad," I rolled her eyes and stalked past him, in a hurry to get up to my room and lie in the dark. "Night."

"Night, Mrs. Cullen."

"_Dad_!"

He chuckled. "Night, Bells."

And with that, I ran up the stairs so fast I barely had time to catch my breath. I collapsed onto my bed and cried into my pillow, clutching the photograph of Edward and I as children.

I hated that we would never be young again; we would never get to joke again; we would never get to smile together again.

Moving away from Forks had caused more problems then moving back.

x-x-x-x

"_Soo_," Emmett and Jasper crashed their lunch trays onto the table, right beside my elbow. They sat next to me, grinning. It was Emmett that spoke. "We heard the news."

"What news?" I grumbled miserably while chewing on my carrot stick.

"The talk of the whole school!" Jasper joked. "Don't you know! It involves you and our best friend Edward."

I looked around self consciously, hoping no one would hear them. Rosalie, Alice or Edward hadn't arrived from French class yet. Thankgod.

"What about us?" I sighed and turned to them.

"Edward asked you out last night, did he not?" Emmett wiggled his eye brows up and down, causing creases to form on his forehead. "And you're going to Port Angeles tomorrow night for dinner. _Riiight_?"

I heaved a sigh in defeat. "Yes, ok, you're right."

Jasper and Emmett whooped, giving each other high fives and causing a scene in the cafeteria. I hung my shoulders low to avoid being seen.

"We knew it!" Emmett had calmed down, but still shook his head and leaned towards me. "We know that you were close when you were kids, but now that you're both seventeen, well… it's a whole new game!"

I moaned and put my head in my hands. "Crap. I am so regretting this."

"You do like him, don't you Bella?" Jasper frowned at me, yet he still managed to look amused.

I didn't want to admit that I did. "I don't know. We'll see after tomorrow night, I guess."

"Edward will tell us all about it, don't you worry." Emmett winked, just as Alice, Edward and Rosalie entered the cafeteria in all their glory. People turned their heads and they walked towards the lunch line, looking more like they were on a cat walk than in the school cafeteria.

"Your secrets are safe with us." Jasper whispered to me with a wink.

"What secrets?" I raised an eye brow. "I haven't told you anything yet."

"_Noo_…" Emmett whispered. "But… we do know things. About Edward."

I felt a thrill of excitement run through me. "Ooh, tell me!"

"No can do, Bello," Emmett put his hands up, using his strange nickname for me. "It's the bro code. We can't speak."

I pouted.

"Turn that frown, upside down, Bella!"

Of course, I knew that voice anywhere.

"You managed to keep your hair looking nice," Alice commended me as she sat down next to Jasper at the table. Edward surprised me when he sat on my other side, then Rosalie next to him. "I'm impressed."

"Um… thanks?"

"No problem."

"Hey, Bella." Edward flashed me a strange, twisted smile. "How are you?"

I was so stunned by how friendly he was being, that I could barely form a sentence. "I'm… good. You?"

"Great." He sounded sarcastic as he looked away.

"Soooo…" Emmett murmured annoyingly. "The whole school has heard the news. Edward and Bella. Dating."

Jasper, Emmett, and Alice erupted in cheers and yells. Rosalie, Edward and I didn't know what to say.

"C'mon, aren't ya'll excited!" Jasper grinned, his southern drawl easily distinguished in his words. "We've been hoping for this!"

"You have?" Edward and I spat at the same time, almost choking on our food.

"We _have_!" Alice bounced in her seat and clapped her hands. "And so have Esme, and Carlisle, and probably Charlie too… !"

"Ehh…" I groaned. "I don't know—"

"Bella, we have to discuss outfits!" Alice cheered, and then looked at Edward quickly. "Not right now. That would spoil it for Edward."

I glared at Alice.

Tomorrow night was going to be _hell_.

x-x-x-x

**A/N: Last chapter for 13 days, guys (: going on a vacation. But please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Yep, I'm back and tanner than ever. Oh, and full of ideas of course ;) **

**While I've been away, I had been thinking – I'm going to change this story to Bella's Point of View only. So no third person, to avoid confusion and errors that I commonly make.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. But Stephanie Meyers does.**

x-x-x-x

"Show me! Show me!" Alice hollered, pulling me up roughly then taking three steps back. She examined me for a few seconds before motioning for me to do a little spin. When I did, she nodded. "Mmm…"

"Alice…" I murmured, my voice shaky and nervous. I was. "It's… it's not that bigger deal."

"It so is!" Alice threw her hands up in the air, and walked around me to fix up my hair. She explained with three butterfly clips in her mouth, muffling her speech. "You're going out with Edward… _Edward_! This is a milestone, and trust me… it's a big deal!"

I looked around my small bedroom and shook my head; this was insane. First of all, I was going on a date with Edward Cullen. _The_ Edward Cullen that had hated me since I moved back to Forks, _the _Edward Cullen who had once been my best friend. It was surreal…

And I couldn't be happier. Was that wrong?

Alice moved away from me and told me to spin around again.

She had dressed me in black leggings (due to the weather) and a midnight blue dress. It went to well above my knee (way too high, in my opinion), but the neckline wasn't too low (thank God). She wrapped a pearl colored cardigan delicately around my shoulders, protecting me from the rain and wind. My hair had been pinned around my ears, and the rest cascading down my back in a river of mahogany brown. She had told me I had wonderful skin (causing me to blush), so after much deliberation, she had decided that there was no need for any heavy makeup. I was wearing black flats, instead of heels. I thanked Alice profusely for that.

"Edward will be here in a few minutes," Alice told me, after glancing at her phone and taking my hands. "Are you ready?"

_I wasn't, I wasn't, I so wasn't…_ "Um… as ready as I can be."

"You'll be fine," Alice hugged me lightly, but was careful not to destroy my make over. "He'll love you. He always has, after all," She winked and smiled. "Trust me on this. I know my brother, and I know what he likes. And he likes _you_, Bella." She hugged me again, but I still felt cold. "Just like he always has."

I looked down, my cheeks heating up; I still could not believe this. I had always denied the fact that well… I _liked_ Edward. I'm sure I did when I was a little girl, and after spending the past few weeks with him… I _know_ I did.

And it was utterly, the craziest thing in the world.

I didn't hear the knock at the door until Alice screamed so loud I thought my ears started bleeding. Then, it was followed by: "He's here! He's here! He's _here_!"

"Alice…" I tried to keep my voice confident as we headed down the stairs. "Anyone would think you were the one going on the date."

We stopped in front of the door, and Alice pulled me close. "_Bella. _Bells. Calm down." So, I mustn't have done very well with my voice. "You will be great. This is what we've always wanted." She smiled. "Even when you left, Esme and Carlisle hoped."

I looked down and bit my lip.

And then Alice swung the door open, and I met the eyes of _The_ Edward Cullen.

He was wearing a white button-up shirt, with black pants. His hair was tussled, but not on purpose – I could tell. His eyes were a soft green, and when the crooked smile spread across his face, I felt like jumping into his arms. He looked so… _friendly._

I hadn't seen him so friendly since I was seven. Since _I left_.

"Hey," I muttered pathetically, avoiding his eyes.

"Hi," He waved adorably then took a step back. "Ready to go? _Without_ Alice?"

"Oh!" Alice shrieked, clapping her hands and edging past me. "Right. Sorry. I'm going to go home. And I am both going to get a full report when you two are done!"

Edward and I looked down, knowing it was true.

We waited for Alice to pull away from the driveway before we headed out to Edward's Volvo. I was so nervous, my knees were wobbling.

_C'mon, Bella, _I told myself. _Keep it together, just for tonight. At least try and prove to him you're still his best friend._

"So," I stared, as we climbed into his car and backed out of the driveway. "Where are we going?"

"A place in Port Angeles," He told me, not looking at me, but at the road. "I've been there a few times. With… other people." I secretly wondered if those secret people were his other girlfriends. "It's nice. Oh, by the way, you look really… pretty."

I blushed and looked down. I thought about the way he was speaking tonight, as we drove to Port Angeles. His words were clipped, like he needed to think about what he was saying very carefully before he said it. It could be taken as a good thing, or a bad thing – the good thing being he was nervous. The bad thing being… he didn't _really _want to be here. The thought made my bottom lip quiver, but I quickly focused on the _good_ thing.

He was nervous. Nervous about being with _me_.

"So… why the sudden change in heart?" I muttered stupidly, instantly regretting it. I can't believe I had said that – and I sounded so rude.

"What change in heart?" He asked, staring straight ahead.

"Never mind."

We arrived at Port Angeles after a twenty minute drive, and parked right out front of the restaurant. Edward kept a hand on the small of my back as we entered the restaurant, and was led to our seats.

I hoped he couldn't feel my heart beating in my chest – I felt like I was going to have a heart attack, or something.

We ordered two cokes then sat in silence. We both felt the awkwardness. We both knew this was strange. We both knew that in a normal world, this would never have happened.

And we both knew how surreal this was.

"So, um… do anything interesting today?" He asked me, picking at a piece of bread that our waiter had put on the table.

I stared at him blankly. "I went to school… with you… _all day._"

He looked away and frowned. "Right."

We sat in silence again, and this time, it hurt me; we would never have sat in silence if we were still best friends. Even when we were seven, we had never had to sit in silence. Not unless there was something we were keeping from each other…

I looked up at him through my lashes, examining him. I could still see the boyish lines on his face, the places where I could imagine him smiling as a child, or giggling as a toddler – I could see the places where he often frowned or scowled. I thought of the picture of us when we were little – the one I have kept on my nightstand since the day I left Forks – and smiled to myself.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked me, suddenly staring into my eyes with an intensity that knocked me breathless. Thank God I was sitting down.

"Um… old times, actually."

"Oh. I don't like to think about that. It makes me feel…" He looked down for a second, deep in thought. "Remorseful." He shrugged half heartedly.

I almost choked as I sipped on my coke. "_Why_?"

"Because I think some of it shouldn't have happened. Old times and the past have made so many people upset."

"Old times aren't all bad. There are good memories, too. Like ours."

The silence fell once again, but this time, our waiter came to take our order. Edward ordered the Beef Lasagna, and I ordered the Spaghetti Carbonara. I was in a quick hurry to get over our past conversation, and onto different topics.

"I think Rosalie hates me," I told him worthlessly.

He looked up at me, his eye brows raised. He looked down and shook his head. "Rosalie doesn't _hate _you."

"Oh, sure. So her not saying one word to me since I moved here is her way of being friendly."

"Rosalie is just… you have to get to know her. You can't expect her to be all best friends with you in the first five weeks that you meet her. She takes time."

I decided not to dwell on the fact that Rosalie and Edward seemed pretty friendly around each other. More than friendly to me, sometimes – but I believe Rosalie was loyal to Emmett. And I also believed that Edward wouldn't steal one of his best friend's girlfriends.

"So… what do you think of Emmett and Jasper?" Edward asked me, starting the conversation for the first time tonight.

I deliberated while I finished my coke. "They're both really nice. They've been really… welcoming since I came back to Forks." I looked at him meaningfully, hoping he would get the message.

He looked away again, and seemed to be fiddling with something under the table. "Yeah, about that…"

"What _about_ that?" I spat, a little too angry for the quiet restaurant. I lowered my voice and leaned even closer to him. He did not lean any closer to me.

"You have to understand." He growled at me a little too loud. When he realized this, he looked around the restaurant wearily, ignoring the looks he was getting from the other diners. "You can't just leave for ten years, and then expect everything to be just how it was when you left. Things change. _People_ change."

"I know I didn't visit," I whispered, the sadness rolling over me when I thought about how much I had hurt Charlie, and Edward, and Alice… "And I've told you I'm sorry. We used to be best friends, Edward, and I destroyed that. Alice told me…" My tongue felt thick and there was a huge lump in my throat. "She told me what you were like after I left… I didn't call, or write… and I know I hurt you. But _I'm sorry_."

He stared at me, his emerald green eyes going from frozen solid to liquid. In that moment, I felt like we were repairing our relationship, even just a little bit. We looked at each other for seconds, or maybe minutes, but I knew—

He pulled away, his eyes freezing and becoming ever so cold once again.

I sighed.

Our food was served, and we ate mostly in silence.

_Well, this is going great…_ I thought to myself. _Well done Bella and Edward. You get a chance to really talk things through, and you end up in silence. Cool._

"So… you suddenly changed your mind about me… ?" I muttered, secretly hoping he didn't hear. And if he did, I really hoped he didn't know the answer, or at least lied to me about it.

He shrugged, suddenly incredibly focused on his Lasagna. I noticed he wouldn't look at me. "More or less."

I frowned, picking at my pasta. That answer wasn't really helpful – it sort of led me both ways. Not only was his asking me out sudden, but it was unlikely; he went from ignoring me, to seeming like he really liked me.

It didn't seem right.

"So… let me get this straight… you want to be friends again?" I asked him, sitting back in my chair and barely touching my food.

Edward nodded slowly, peeking up at me.

I looked down, holding off the smile that was trying to appear on my face. I felt my cheeks redden and my heart quicken.

"So… no more ignoring me, frowning at me… ?" I clarified, just to be sure. I still had the sneaking suspicion this was just a dream.

"Why would I frown at you, Bella?" He grumbled quietly, pushing away his plate and crossing his knife and fork. "Or ignore you?"

"Because you hate me."

"I don't… _hate_ you."

"But you dislike me… a lot."

He shook his head and sighed. As he spoke, he sounded pained and defeated. "I don't dislike you. I don't hate you. I just… I'm still figuring it out."

"Are you sure _this_," I motioned at the table, the restaurant, and then at both of us," Is what you want?"

He nodded slowly. "It would make us happy."

I looked away, trying to figure out who exactly _us_ was. It may have been the two of us, or he could have meant Alice, or Emmett, or Jasper. I knew going out with me may not be the best thing for him to do, after feeling so betrayed by me, but I didn't know he would feel _happy about it._

"It would have been this way," He continued, motioning with his hands broadly at the space between us. "If you hadn't of left. Or if you had visited. You were a really good friend of mine, Bella. I planned to be best friends with you until we got old."

"So did I," I told him, touched by his words. I leant across the table, pulling his hand closer to mine. "I have always hoped for that. I still do."

"And now we get our wish," He took hold of my hand as he spoke, sending shivers down my spine. "Now that you're back. And if you leave again… promise you'll call. Promise you'll visit. Don't fail me again."

"I promise."

I felt light headed and weightless, as the world felt as if it were disappearing from around us. For several minutes, it was just the two of us, in our little world of confusion and hurt. I looked into his eyes, trying to see to his soul; but I couldn't quite break the barrier. He was still closed.

"I think we'd better go," He said quietly, breaking the contact between us and standing up. "I'll pay on the way out. You can go and wait by the car, if you like."

As I waited for Edward to pay for our dinner, leaning against his Volvo, I wondered what exactly had made him change his mind about me. Was it that he knew I was _trying_ to repair our childhood friendship? Or was it that he just decided I was the one for him, right here right now?

As Edward walked out, he was frowning – and when I asked him why, he just laughed.

"Edward, tell me." I stared him down, as we got into the car then started heading back to Forks.

"The girl in there," He held up a piece of paper, still chuckling. "She gave me her number of the back of my receipt."

I looked down, now frowning as well. I tried to deny the jealousy that was rising inside me, but biting on my lip and clenching my fists, was pretty obvious.

"Was she pretty?" I grumbled, trying to calm myself.

He shrugged. "Not my cup of tea."

"Hm."

He chuckled again as we drove to my house in silence. I watched the dark trees pass as we got closer and closer to Forks, and realized how much I missed the city lights and cacti. If Edward wasn't here, or Alice or Charlie, I would probably not be able to stop myself from moving back.

He pulled into the driveway behind Charlie's cruiser, and began getting out of the car. When I looked at him, he stopped. "What?"

"Charlie is in there," I said slowly, blankly. He still didn't get the message. "He has a _gun_. I wouldn't go near that door."

"Ok. We'll say goodbye here, then."

He walked over to me, and leaned against the car beside me. He stuck his hands into his pockets and looked over me. "Did I tell you you look nice tonight?"

I blushed. "Yes. And thank you."

He smiled and looked down at the pavement. I tried to get a look into his eyes, but they still seemed vacant; like he was distracted.

"Edward," I whispered, pulling my cardigan over my shoulders. He looked up at me, his eyes gleaming in the porch light. "Will we get to do this again?"

He stayed silent for longer than was necessary – I was so anxious I felt sick by the time he answered.

"Yes."

I sighed in relief. I was so happy tonight hadn't been a total failure. He still wanted to go out with me. He actually _liked_ me. I couldn't believe it.

"Thanks," I smiled timidly up at him. "Tonight was fun."

"It was." I thought he was going to go around the other side to his car, but instead, he leaned closer to me. My heart sped up and my breath quickened as he pressed his lips ever so lightly to my reddened cheek.

"Goodnight, Bella." He whispered, and walked around to the driver's side.

I had to kick myself before I leant off his car, and let him drive away. I stood on the pavement, watching the Volvo speed out of sight. It wasn't until it was gone that a huge grin spread across my face, and I let out a laugh.

I looked up at night sky; I'm not sure who I was looking at, but the rain streaming onto my overheated face made me realize that I was standing in the rain, on the sidewalk, grinning up at the sky.

I giggled at myself and ran into the house, feeling the blood pumping through my veins at a million miles an hour.

"Hey, Bells," Charlie greeted me from the couch, as I expected. "How was your date with Edward?"

"Good, dad," I smiled, trying not to show how happy I really was.

Gosh, Edward only kissed my cheek and I was acting like _this_. Imagine what will happen if he kisses my _lips?_

"I'm going to go up and take a shower," I told him, turning away and walking up the stairs. I grabbed my toiletries, a pair of sweat pants and a navy t-shirt out of my room then went to the bathroom to have a shower.

When I got out of the shower, my hair dripping, my cell phone was ringing, loudly and annoyingly. I ran to catch it, knowing exactly who it will be.

"_Bella_!" Alice shrilled.

"Alice!" I shrilled back, imitating her tone.

She laughed. "_Omigod, how was it? What happened? I haven't spoke to Edward yet, because he went straight to his room, so I need your account first. Tell me _everything!"

I went over every detail, thinking about what I was saying as I went. I left out some parts, for Edward's privacy only, but I told her what had happened when he dropped me off and how delighted I was.

"_That's great, Bell! Really great! I told you he liked you! And now you know, he really REALLY likes you! Omigod, he's going to ask you to be his girlfriend soon, I know it!"_

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Alice." I flopped onto my bed, running my fingers through my wet and knotty hair. "Just because he said we would go out again, doesn't mean he wants to be my boyfriend."

"_I think it does… ! Everyone agrees. Jasper and Emmett were over earlier, and I was talking to them about it. They're actually betting on the day when it will happen. I told them, 'Heck, it could happen tomorrow!' But they're betting after the next date."_

I didn't dwell on the fact that Rosalie probably disagreed entirely with Jasper, Emmett, and Alice. She was probably at Alice and Edward's house, scowling and sitting in silence while the rest of them gossiped about Edward and me.

"Ok, well… don't pester Edward too much, ok? I'm not sure what he thought of this date, though he told me it was good. He seemed… closed. He barely looked at me, sometimes." I looked at my bedroom ceiling and sighed.

"_He's just thinking things through, Bella. He's been without you for a long time. Plus, I think he was nervous."_ She told me knowingly and with a giggle.

"Oh… yeah. Ok. Still, please don't annoy him. And don't tell him anything I've told you. If you do… I'll kill you." I laughed.

She laughed at my threat as well. "_Of course I won't tell him. That's what best friends are for, right?"_

I nodded, realizing she couldn't see. "Yeah. I guess I'll see you on Monday, then."

"_Yep. I'll talk to Edward! Bye!"_

I hung up the phone and threw it across the room. It clattered onto my desk, and I probably broke it. But I didn't care. Edward _liked_ me. He wanted to be friend again. But this time, _more_ than friends. I didn't care about the fact that I didn't remember him until I came here, I just cared that he was now accepting me back into his life with open arms.

I fell asleep with wet hair that night, still smiling.

x-x-x-x

On Monday, Edward and I were the talk of the school.

Apparently, a girl named Jessica Stanley had seen Edward and I outside of _Bella Italia_, the restaurant we had visited on Friday night. She assumed we were on a date, and began telling everyone in Forks High.

I wasn't sure whether to feel proud, or embarrassed.

Alice and Edward picked me up before school, and when we arrived in the parking lot, we received jealous stares from the boys and girls. I kept my head down, struggling not to be seen as Edward walked beside me, keeping a hand on my back.

"This. Is. So much fun!" Alice squealed, as we got further and further away from the watching eyes.

"I don't think it's fun," I mumbled, standing under the shelter of the cafeteria.

We waited for Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie to meet us there. They didn't take long – in fact, Emmett arrived with a huge grin on his face. Jasper was smiling and Rosalie was expressionless.

"Jeez, have you heard the rumors!" Emmett laughed, staring at Edward and I who were standing side-by-side. "You guys only went out on Friday, and the word has spread before even _I_ had time to catch up!"

"Funny, Emmett." I glared at him, my cheeks still hot from walking through the parking lot.

"Have you heard? Apparently, Edward has been visiting Bella is Arizona for the past ten years, every weekend!" Jasper told us excitingly, causing me to almost choke on my own embarrassment.

"That's not true!" Edward and I both said simultaneously.

"They seem to think it is," Jasper chuckled, and walked to stand next to Alice. "They also think you have been secretly dating ever since Bella arrived back in Forks. Also, I heard just now, that you two had lost your _virginity_ to each other last night."

Emmett burst into laughs, Alice giggled, Rosalie scowled, Edward gawked and I tried to make myself as small as possible. I avoided the eyes of passing students, who stared to the point until I thought their necks would snap.

"Please can we get inside," I murmured. "I feel like I'm going to fall over."

We all quickly retreated inside, Edward still keeping a hand on my back and Alice holding my hand. We all walked to our lockers (which were all in the same area) and started getting out our books.

"This crazy. This is insane." I told Alice, who occupied the locker beside me. "How have you dealt with this for the past three years?"

Alice laughed and shrugged."You'll get used it. They will too. Once they see you and Edward are officially _on,_ they'll stop caring and move onto some other poor soul."

"Right." I slammed my locker shut and walked towards my first hour class.

x-x-x-x

If I thought before school was bad, lunch was _so much worse._

Before I even entered the cafeteria, I could hear murmurings and whispers. I once again kept my head down and walked straight to the lunch line, grabbing a tray and filling it with as little food as possible.

"Hey, Bedward," Emmett greeted me with a sly grin. Edward punched his arm.

I sat down beside Edward and put my head in my hands. "This day has been horrible. I have had so many guys come up to me, asking if the rumors about Edward and I are true. They wanted to know if we're _really _dating."

"What did you say?" Edward asked, looking at me with a hint of a smile.

"I… I…" I lost my train of thought for a second. "I said yes."

Jasper, Alice and Emmett erupted in cheers and cat calls, causing the whole cafeteria to look over at us and stare. I tried to sink into my seat, but the stares never seemed to stop.

"It'll get better," Edward told me, rubbing my back. I felt better at once. "They'll get over it."

"Have you had anyone come up to you?" I asked him.

His eyes shifted. "Um… a few."

"Is that your subtle way of saying a _hundred_?"

Emmett and Jasper burst into laughs once again.

"Whatever, they don't matter." Edward shook his head, but he was smiling. "Who cares what they say. Let them talk."

I looked away from him as I frowned. Usually, I didn't care what everyone said about me. But the fact that the word spreads in this town like wildfire is what worried me. Soon, Charlie will known everything, and Carlisle and Esme…

"Do they know?" I looked back up. "Carlisle and Esme, I mean."

Edward nodded. "I think they guessed. They heard Alice and I talking on Saturday, but they never mentioned anything. Why, does it bother you?" He smiled.

"Not really. I mean, it's embarrassing, but…" I trailed off and shook my head. "Charlie is going to hear all sorts of crazy rumors."

"He'll know they're not true." Edward shook his head.

"Yeah, but the embarrassment of… ?" I cleared my throat nervously. "The _talk_?"

"Hasn't he already talked to you?" Emmett asked, still smiling. "When you've had other boyfriends?"

"I've… never… really…" I looked away, catching the eye of way too many other students when I did. I looked back around.

"Oh. _Oh." _Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Edward all seemed to come to the same conclusion at the same time. I was incredibly embarrassed, and their knowing stares didn't help.

"That's ok, Bella," Edward told me. He pulled his chair closer to mine, but he didn't touch anywhere else but my back.

"Got a newbie on your hands, Edward." Emmett chuckled, causing Edward to slap him across the head again. "What! It's true!"

"Shut up for a second, Emmett," Alice shushed him and looked at me. "So, Bella… you've never gone out with anyone? Never had a boyfriend?"

"No," I sighed and shrugged. "I've just never really felt that way about anyone."

"And you do now…?" A smile broke across Alice's face.

I blushed.

"Aww!" Once again, Emmett, Jasper and Alice broke into coos, and Edward just smiled.

"Baby Bella!" Jasper smiled teasingly and knocked me on the shoulder. "Very cute."

"I think you've embarrassed Bella enough for a lifetime," Edward chuckled, shaking his head. "That's enough."

I smiled at him in thanks. He nodded and looked over at Rosalie, who had remained silent through this whole conversation.

Rosalie and Edward seemed to have this moment – not in a romantic way, but in a knowing way. They watched each other carefully, as if talking silently to each other.

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. They broke their contact when we all stood up, grabbed our bags and headed towards our next class.

"Have fun in biology, you two," Emmett teased with a wink. "Maybe you could learn a thing or two, Bella."

Edward slapped Emmett for the third time today as we walked away.

"That was embarrassing," We entered the classroom a few minutes early. Only a few students sat in their seats, and watched us come in.

"Just ignore them," Edward chuckled and motioned for me to slide into our desk first. "They're just teasing."

"You don't have a problem with that, do you?" I asked him folding my arms and leaning on the cool science table.

He shook his head. "No. It doesn't matter to me how much experience you've had."

I looked down at my arms, blushing. I had _no_ experience. The only knowledge I had was from movies, or books. And that didn't seem sufficient at all, because most of it was unrealistic.

"I'm guessing you've had quite a bit of experience," I grumbled shyly, peeking up at him. "Judging by all your admirers."

He scoffed and shook his head. "No. I've had some experiences, but it's not like they were memorable. I'm not far off from you, actually. You don't need to worry about a thing."

I smiled at him, right when Mr. Banner walked in. He shot us a glance, suggesting he had heard the rumors circulating about Edward and I. He brushed it off and waited for the rest of the students to arrive from lunch.

"I've got an idea for our next outing," Edward whispered to me, leaning closer. "You could come to my house for dinner with my parents. It's not exactly private, but afterwards we could see a movie or something."

I nodded. "Sure. I have no problem with Carlisle and Esme. Although… it's going to be awkward, now that the circumstances have changed."

"They're delighted," A smile broke across his face when he said this. "They wanted me to invite you over."

"Oh. Ok. Shall we say… Wednesday? It's a school night, but we won't be out late, right?"

"Right." He nodded.

Mr. Banner began talking, so our talk ended. Once again, the students that had streamed in from lunch were staring, even when Mr. Banner began the lesson. Mike Newtown, a boy I had talked to a few times in my first few days, was staring at Edward with so much hatred that I was afraid he would set him on fire.

Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory sat in front of us, every few minutes turning around just to get a look. Edward stared them down until they turned back around to face the whiteboard. But that didn't stop them for long.

I scribbled Edward a note on a piece of paper.

**This is getting ridiculous. If everyone doesn't stop staring, I'm going to explode.**

He read it and wrote back:

**They're just jealous. Ignore them. It doesn't matter about them; the only thing that matters is you and me.**

I looked at him, then wrote:

**You're right. Who cares what they're saying. **

He nodded and I tucked the piece of paper into the back of my notebook. I watched Mr. Banner for awhile, but when I got bored of it, I turned to look at Edward; and every time I did, he was staring vacantly out the window, watching the rain.

And he looked pained.

x-x-x-x

**A/N: Hoped you liked it. Please review. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello again! **

**I have gotten so many interesting reviews about this story. It has put some very interesting ideas into my head, ones I hadn't thought of (: But Edward has his reasons, for everything. They may not be as dark and dangerous as you think… He's a good boy.**

**Now, I just posted a picture of what I imagined Bella would look like when she goes to have dinner with Carlisle and Esme. Check it out and tell me what you think! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own this, but Stephanie Meyer does. **

x-x-x-x

Once again, I ended up standing in my bedroom, in my underwear, while Alice pulled my closet apart looking for what to wear. I crossed my ankles and twiddled my thumbs, waiting.

"It's like you're meeting your boyfriend's parents!" Alice shrilled, throwing me a pair of cut off jeans.

"In case you've forgotten, Alice," I stated. "Number one, they're your parents too, number two, I've known them almost my whole life, and number three… I'm practically meeting you, too! You're his family."

She looked at me, knowingly. "Yes, Bella, but I'm also your best friend. Therefore, I don't really count."

She threw me one of my favorite t-shirts, and sighed. "As soon as this dinner is over, I'm taking you shopping. All you have is t-shirts, and jackets, and jeans, and cardigans… It's really not helpful."

I slipped on the t-shirt over my jeans and folded my arms. "I think my clothes are fine. It's not like I ever needed fashionable clothes… I lived in Phoenix. It was too hot for dresses and leggings."

"If you had of stay _here_," She found my leather jacket-hoodie and instructed me to put it on. "You would be the second most fashionable person I know."

"Who's the first?"

"Me, of course."

I rolled my eyes and ran a brush through my hair. Alice slipped a head band behind my ears and fluffed my hair more than I ever would have. But I guess she knows best.

"A little eye liner…" She pulled out a tube of eye liner out of nowhere and applied it to my eyes. She stepped back and looked over me. "Casual, yet, cool. I quite like it."

We both smiled at each other and walked downstairs. Charlie wouldn't be home for a few hours, and he would get his own dinner. I was a little worried about leaving him alone to cook for himself, but he insisted he would be just fine.

We drove Alice's car to the Cullen house, and parked in the driveway. Edward waited for me in the doorway to his home.

"Bella," He said calmly, pulling me in for a hug and taking my hand. "Good to see you again."

"Nice to see you too, dear brother," Alice stepped past us. "I'm going to get dressed. See you in the dining room at six-thirty."

Edward and I both nodded and waited for Alice to get out of ear shot before we spoke to each other.

"You look great," He told me with a small smile. "I can tell you're wearing your own clothes tonight. It looks good."

I looked down, blushing. "Um, thanks."

"Bella!"

Esme and Carlisle appeared from around the corner, their arms open and huge smiles on their faces. Esme pulled me into a hug first, seemingly grinning from ear-to-ear.

"So nice to see you again, sweetheart!" She kissed me on the cheek as she pulled back. "It's been too long!"

"Yeah," I laughed and hugged Carlisle as I spoke. "Way too long. Good to see you."

"We're so glad about… _you two_." Esme winked at me as Edward came to stand beside me. "We always knew it would happen, but now that day is finally here!"

"Mom," Edward looked away, clearly embarrassed.

"I know you're embarrassed," Carlisle was grinning now, too. He watched Edward put his arm around me and his eyes sparkled in the light. "But this… this is everything we could have wanted."

My heart leapt higher than the clouds; I felt like I was a part of their family. _Really_ a part of it, since I moved back to Forks. I loved the fact that they were expecting this, and that they wanted it. I never wanted to leave.

I smiled, leaning closer to Edward. "I'm extremely happy to be here. With Edward."

"I'd better get back to the kitchen," Esme clapped her hands together and smiled. "Wouldn't want to burn the lamb, now would I?"

Carlisle and Esme disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Edward and I alone. We stood in the entryway, switching from foot-to-foot with awkwardness.

"I'm sorry about my parents," Edward half smiled, his cheeks a little red. "They can be a little… full on. I've learnt to ignore them, and you will too."

"They're ok," I brushed it off with a shrug. "I've seen worse. My mom isn't much better."

"I don't really remember your mother, much," He confessed, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "But I do remember her being incredibly outgoing."

"Yes," I laughed, thinking of scatterbrained Renee. There was nothing she wasn't willing to try. "She was outgoing, alright. Just before I left, she tried to get me into knitting." I peaked up at him, biting my lip. "It didn't work."

He chuckled, looking down at the floor. "Has she ever returned to Forks?"

I shook my head. "Not once. But her and Charlie are still on good terms, I guess."

"That's good." He nodded. "But if they were on good terms… why didn't they arrange visits for you to come back to Forks?"

I looked at him, my cheeks reddening and my lip beginning to bleed from the contact it had with my teeth. "I… it was me who decided about the visits, I guess."

"How rude of me," He suddenly caught himself. "We should take this conversation to the living room."

He led me towards the living room. I remembered the house, the artworks, and the furniture – all from my childhood of spending all my time here. It sent a rush of blood to my head, making me dizzy. I almost fell onto the couch next to Edward.

"How did you visit your dad, if you never arranged visits?" He looked at me and frowned. "Surely, he missed you."

"We met in California," I told him with a shrug. "I enjoyed the sun more than the rain."

"Oh," He nodded, moving a little closer to me. "So… you don't like the cold?"

I shook my head. "Not really. It's grown on me a little, though."

"That's good." He put a hand on mine, which was resting on my knee. His touch sent tingles up my arm, and I was hoping he didn't know that.

Alice danced down the stairs, and caught us looking at each other with Edward's hand practically on my knee. She giggled.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"No," He pulled his hand away and moved away from me. I was secretly disappointed. "Not at all. Nice outfit, Al."

Alice wore a white sundress, with white high heels. There wasn't much she could do with her hair, I guessed. But the small amount of makeup she had on her already flawless face made her look even more beautiful than ever.

"Well, I feel under dressed."

"Oh, I picked out your outfit, Edward," She shushed him with a laugh. Edward looked down at me, his cheeks red.

"Thanks, Alice."

"No problem! But c'mon… dinners ready. Mom and dad are waiting!" Alice shrilled and turned her back to walk into the Cullen's grand dining room.

Their beautiful dining room table shone in the light, but it was barely visible under the plates of food – peas, potatoes, and carrots were spread across the table top, the roasted lamb being in the middle.

"This looks great, Esme," I smiled up at her, and took my seat in between Edward and Alice. "Thank you."

"Thanks so much," Esme smiled broadly and took her seat beside Carlisle. "Carlisle helped too."

I looked at Carlisle. "Thank you."

"No problem, Bella," Carlisle nodded. "You have always been part of this family, and we wanted to treat you like it. So… dig in."

We all dished ourselves a hearty serving of meat and vegetables, and exchanged easy chatter while we ate. Esme and Carlisle told stories about the crazy things we did as children, while Edward and I listened with blank faces, not remembering any of it.

How can that be?

By the end, I was pushing the food around my plate, full but not wanting to admit it. I felt guilty about wasting all this delicious food that Esme had made just for me.

I think my loss of appetite came from the guilt of not remembering, not from wasting food. But I wasn't going to admit that to myself.

I could tell Edward was feeling a little uncomfortable – he was shifting in his seat and frowning down at his food. Esme and Carlisle seemed to be too blinded by the happiness of us dating that they failed to notice.

And, well, Alice was just… Alice.

"It's getting late," Edward smiled at his parents, then at me. "I should really be getting Bella home."

"Thank you for a lovely dinner, Carlisle and Esme. I hope to be back here soon." I smiled at them as I stood up. Edward took my hand and pulled me into his side, causing his parents to break into wider grins.

"Any time!" Carlisle grinned and stood up. "After school, on the weekends—"

"Ok, dad!" Edward cautioned his father with a stern look. "I'm going to be taking Bella home now. I'll see you later."

"Bye, Bella!" Alice and Esme waved at the same time. Alice included: "See you tomorrow!" With the subtle look of: "You will tell me everything that I may have missed tonight!"

Edward and I walked outside, into the misty rain. He shielded me with his body as I climbed into the passenger's seat of his sweet smelling Volvo. Edward screwed up his nose as he started the engine. "I'm sorry about my parents. They're a little… enthusiastic."

"Like I said, I'm used to it," I chuckled. "They're really nice. Charlie told me he felt quite neglected when we were kids. I was spending so much time at your house."

He stared straight ahead. "Yeah." After much glaring at the road, he turned his head towards me, but he never kept his eyes off the road. "Look, Bella, what I said all those weeks ago, about how I don't remember… I truly don't. I hardly remember a thing, and I'm not sure why. Alice had said that many people block bad things from their memories – so maybe I blocked you out of my head when you left. It really hurt me, and I know it wasn't your fault, but when you talk about us growing up together, or when my parents do, I'm never going to understand."

I sighed, a little in relief. "It's ok, Edward. I don't remember quite a bit of it either. Though, I do remember… some things. The more I explore of my old life in Forks, the more I remember. And I'm sorry that you don't. But I can help you try."

He nodded, still not meeting my eyes.

We pulled into my driveway, again behind Charlie's cruiser. I saw the flash of light as the curtains fluttered, revealing my dad standing at the window. I shot him a pleading look, and he disappeared from the window.

"My dad's nosy," I confessed, biting my lip. "Sorry."

"No problem." He shrugged. He leant his arm against the top of his car, almost until he was pinning me again the door. "I'm pretty sure he can't see us behind here, anyway."

He leant closer to me. "I'm sorry this date wasn't like the last. We were hardly ever alone, were we?"

I shook my head, my heart racing. "Now we are."

"Yeah. We are." He smiled, and leaned his face closer. I could barely breathe as he got closer, and closer, and closer… until our foreheads touched.

"Even when I was a kid, I wanted this." He whispered, tickling the sensitive skin around my lips. "Before I even knew what a girlfriend was, I wanted this."

"I know, so did I." I breathed. I felt like he was teasing me – we were so close, but he was refusing to get any closer. I wanted to close the gap, but I could hardly move. "Always."

"Now that you're back…" His voice was barely audible. "We can have… _this."_

He brought his hand up to my face, and stroked my cheek – by now, my knees were wobbling and my breath was becoming quicker and quicker.

"I'm sorry."

And then he kissed me.

It wasn't slow or overly heated – it was just light. And though it was light, it sent my head spinning in circles until I almost fell onto the pavement.

I was too busy trying to regain any sense of balance to realize he had told me he was sorry. For what? For making me wait? For teasing me?

"Good night, Bella." He didn't even look at me as he crossed in front of me and got into his Volvo. I watched him drive away, like I did last Friday night, but this time, I was touching my lips.

Edward, the person that hated me, just _kissed_ me! Did I ever think it was possible?

I let out a little yelp and ran head first into the house. Once again, I arrived into the living room wet to greet Charlie. "Hey dad."

"Hey Bella." He grumbled.

I stared at him, but he was too busy watching the baseball game. I slumped with a sigh. "You saw that, didn't you."

"Yep."

My cheeks flushed red. "Um, I'm just going to be going to bed now."

He was in a hurry to get me out of his sight so he could calm himself down. I could tell he was angry, protective – all because he saw me kiss a boy. Yeesh, dad.

"Night, Bells."

I swung myself up the stairs with a little too much force and barged into my bedroom. I collapsed on the bed and covered my face with my hand; was I dreaming? I pinched myself; and no, I wasn't dreaming.

I held a pillow over my mouth and screamed – I couldn't hold it in any longer. Usually, I was quiet and composed; I only spoke when I needed to. But right now, I felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest – I was just so excited!

I got my breath back enough to check my emails. There was a very detailed letter from Renee:

_**Bella,**_

_**I haven't heard from you in awhile. How have you been? Phil and I have been great. We recently left Scottsdale for one of Phil's baseball games in Florida, so I'm using the hotel computer.**_

_**Oh my God, Bella, I love Florida – the sun, the heat, and the people are so nice! There is so much to do here! I see people rollerblading, surfing, even fishing! It makes me want to try everything all at once! Phil just rolls his eyes when I mention I am taking him rollerblading with me… but I know a few ways to get him to agree. **_

_**How is everything in Forks? How are Edward and Alice? Have you been spending as much time with Carlisle and Esme as you used to? Charlie told me just the other day you went on a date with Edward; is this true? I assumed it is, and I was so excited! Esme and I always expected this, so it came to no surprise. Next time you call, or even email you must tell me EVERYTHING! **_

_**I've got to go now. But remember, honey… be safe with Edward. And you what I mean.**_

_**Love, mom. **_

I stared wide eyed at the computer screen as I read the last few lines of that email – did my mom really tell me to be _safe_? And not safe as to carry pepper spray and to watch your surroundings… the _other_ safe. The one they've talked about in health class but I've never really had to take into action.

I flushed red as I replied quickly, not dwelling much on Edward – I talked about Carlisle and Esme, and Charlie, but I told her that _yes, Edward and I are dating, but it's only been a week. _

And then my phone rang.

I picked it up. "Hello?"

"_Hey Bell!"_

"Um… hey Alice. What's up?"

"_I'm curious. Edward took a little too long dropping you off and I want to know why. Spill."_

My insides prickled when I thought of what Edward and I had done against his Volvo; did I really want to tell his _sister_? Was the weird?

"Well… not much happened. We just talked for a bit."

"_You did not! Don't lie to me, Isabella Marie Swan! I can see right through you, you know. I tried to ask Edward what happened but once again he zoomed up the stairs without giving an explanation for poor little Alice. Around you, he seems really happy, but when you're gone, he spends all his time alone. Weird, huh? Kinda cute, I guess."_

I bit my lip; Edward only happy around me? Sometimes, when he thinks I'm not looking, I still catch him frowning or shaking his head – but I don't dwell on it for long.

"I don't know what to tell you, Alice," I said with shrug. "But can I ask you something?"

"_Don't change the subject_!" She hollered so loud I almost had to hold the phone at arm's distance. _"You have to tell me, Bella, or I'm going to have to barge into Edward's room and ask him myself. Which would you prefer?"_

I _really_ didn't want her bothering Edward about this – I could tell he was just getting used to us being together. I didn't want to push him.

"Ok," I threw my hands in defeat and fell back onto my bed. "We kissed, ok?"

"_Like… REALLY kissed?"_

"Uh… I guess."

"_Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Are you serious! This is insane!"_ I could practically hear her jumping and screaming behind the phone. "_This is a milestone! I have to tell Emmett, and Jasper, and mom and dad! Everyone will be SO thrilled!_"

"Alice…" My cheeks were flushing, for about the tenth time tonight. "It's no big deal, ok?"

"_It is so! As kids you used to kiss each other, but only ever on the cheek, so when he kissed you on the cheek the other night, it didn't matter so much. But THIS… this is BIG!"_

"If you keep on acting like a monkey on crack, I'm going to leave." We laughed. My smile soon faded when I thought that Edward probably already knows I told Alice by all the screaming. "He doesn't know I told you, does he?"

"_No way. I'm in the garage so he doesn't hear. Don't fret, Bella."_

"Thanks, Alice. I'm gonna go. I'll see you tomorrow, without the hysterics, ok?"

"_Ok. Night, Bell."_

I hung up the phone and shoved it into a drawer on my nightstand. My head was still swimming from my kiss with Edward, and I instantly wondered when we were going to get to do it again.

I was anxious to see him in the morning – as well as Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie. No doubt they would find out from Alice what had happened. They would tease me. Well, Rosalie wouldn't, but she would probably glare at me.

I jumped up from my bed and collected my things to have a shower. After I did, I crawled straight into bed and closed my eyes – and dreamt about Edward.

x-x-x-x

In the morning, Alice and Edward picked me up for school, like yesterday.

"Morning, Bella!" Alice shrilled.

"Morning," I rubbed my eyes, still feeling a little asleep. "Morning, Edward."

He looked back at me. "Good morning, Bella. Looks like someone rolled out from the wrong side of the bed."

I yawned and glared at him. "Hardly."

We pulled into the parking lot, where Edward opened my door. He strung his arm around me as we walked towards the cafeteria where we would wait for Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie.

And people stared.

It wasn't quite as bad as Monday, which I was thankful for; if I had to deal with anymore watching eyes, I would never leave the house.

"Good _morning_ Bello!" Emmett greeted me as the three seniors sauntered up. He gave me a wink.

"Um… Hi, Emmett…" I mumbled, knowing he already knew.

Emmett punched Edward's arm. "Way to go, bro!"

Edward smirked, knowing he already knew as well.

Rosalie glared at Edward. At least she wasn't glaring at me, for once.

"We'd better be getting to class," I grumbled, not wanting to interrupt Rosalie and Edward's silent conversation they were having through facial expressions. "Or we're going to be late."

"You're right," Edward said, removing his arms from my shoulder. "I forgot to grab something from my car. Esme gave it to me. She wanted me to give it to you, Rose."

Rose nodded and the two disappeared.

I frowned.

"Congrats, Bella!" Jasper tapped me on the shoulder, smiling. "Alice told us all the details from last night. Sounded like it went…. Well."

"It went fine," I said, my mood souring as I watched Rosalie and Edward disappear from sight. "Let's just get inside."

Like yesterday, we went to our lockers to retrieve our books.

"What's going on?" Alice whispered to me, shoving an American History textbook into her backpack.

I shrugged. "I don't know. Edward just forgot to give something to Rosalie. It's no big deal."

"Hmm… ok." Alice still seemed to think it was a big deal. "Don't you think they'd be back by now?"

I scowled and punched my locket shut. I ran my fingers through my hair and stalked past Emmett and Jasper. Alice followed close behind.

"I don't know, Alice. I've got to go to English. See you at lunch."

x-x-x-x

While I was sitting at our lunch table on my own, Mike had told me that Edward had turned up to French class fifteen minutes late.

"Huh," I mumbled. "I suppose he was just looking for something in his car. It doesn't matter."

"Oh," Mike smiled his boyish smile and leaned against the chair across from me. "Right. I just wanted to make sure."

I looked at him skeptically.

"The teacher was concerned," He continued to lie. "I just wanted to know."

"So you can tell all your friends?" I frowned. I knew I was being harsh, but Edward and Rosalie spending fifteen minutes in his car didn't put me in a good mood. "And they can spread untrue rumors about us?"

Mike shook his head. "No, not at all. I just, well, I—"

"Newton?" Edward turned up at the table, frowning down at Mike. "Why are you talking to Bella?"

Mike looked _freaked._ He immediately stood uprightbut avoided Edward's eyes. "Its—It's a free country."

"Leave." Edward pulled out his chair and sat close to me. "Now."

Mike scrambled away faster than I could think; Edward leaned next to me and softly kissed my cheek. "I'm sorry I didn't get back to you before school. It turns out I left the thing for Rose at home, so we had to go and get it."

"Ok," I nodded, my heart still racing from the kiss. I knew I wouldn't be able to stay mad at Edward for long.

Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper turned up at the table before long, followed by Alice. She watched Edward and I with curiosity, and then her eyes would switch to Rosalie, and she would frown.

"So," Emmett said, picking at his hot dog. "Did you get that thing for Rose?"

"Yes," Rosalie said, stunning me with her bell-like voice once again. I didn't get to hear it often. "We had to drive back to his house to get it, but we got it."

"I didn't see your car leave this parking lot," Jasper frowned at Edward. He shrugged. "But I probably just wasn't paying attention."

"Probably," Edward looked down at his granola bar.

I looked down at my celery sticks, glowering. What exactly had Edward and Rosalie needed to get? No one had ever bothered to ask.

"Oh no," Alice sighed and looked over at the table that was occupied by Lauren, Jessica, Mike, and Eric. "I think Eric Yorkie is going to try and come over here."

Eric wobbled over to us, looking nervous. He was sweating, and he stumbled twice. He came to stand behind me. "Bella, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Uh… ok." I stood up and walked out of hearing distance of the others. "What's up, Eric?"

"I was just _checking._" He started. "That this whole thing about Edward and you is true. I saw Rosalie and Edward in his car this morning, and I was just curious…"

I looked back at our lunch table; Rosalie was slapping Emmett, with a pretty smile on her perfect face. Edward sat there, glaring at the table.

"Yeah, Edward was getting something for Rosalie," I tucked my hands into my hoodie pockets. "But yeah, it's true. Anything else?"

Eric laughed nervously. "No, that's all. I'll see you round."

I walked back to the table, receiving odd looks from all of them.

"What was that about?" Emmett asked, scowling over at Eric. He was purposely not looking at Emmett; I couldn't blame him. He was terrifying.

"He wanted to clarify that the rumors were true," I shrugged, picking up a carrot stick and taking a bite from the end. "And I set him straight."

"Good on you, Bello." Emmett nodded at me with a smile. "I can totally see why you fit in with us so well, now."

I smiled at him. Emmett was probably one of the only people on the table that had accepted me without asking any questions. Well, except for Alice of course. Jasper has always been kind to me, but when I first met him, I could tell he was confused. Edward and Rosalie have never really been very friendly.

"The reason they ask you all these questions is because they have huge crushes on you," Alice shrugged easily. "I've heard them talking about it. And you know that guy, Tyler? Yeah, he likes you too."

I looked over at Edward, who was still glaring at the table, like he wasn't listening.

"Bella's a bit of a favorite, is she?" Jasper chuckled, swishing his blonde hair out of his face. He still reminded me of some sort of Abercrombie and Fitch model. But then again, they all did. I was just sort of the person that was friends with them but could never match up their looks.

I proved my last thought right when I looked down and blushed. "I don't think so."

"I do," Emmett laughed. "I see how most of the guys watch you, and trust me, they don't hate you." He smirked and looked at Edward.

He looked up to sneer at Emmett.

The bell rang, signally the end of lunch. Edward stood up and instantly took my hand. He led me towards biology, leaving the others well behind.

"Would you like to explain?" I said to him, as we took our seats at the back of the room. He did not move his chair closer to mine today.

"There's nothing to explain." He said curtly.

I stared forward, biting my lip; why was he being secretive? Was there something he didn't want me to know? The thought made me anxious.

He seemed to give up and turned to me, but like Monday, he looked pained. "Rosalie and I are just…" His brow puckered. "We understand each other. And yes, I was really giving something to Rosalie. She left her algebra textbook at my house last week, and I was only returning it."

I stared at him. I looked into his eyes, looking to see if he was lying – but I couldn't tell. Like always , his eyes were nothing but a pit of endless green. I couldn't read him. "Ok. I believe you. Alice told me you and Rosalie were dating a few years ago."

He sighed. "We were. But it… it didn't work. We're just too different."

"And yet you understand each other?" I whispered, as more and more students piled in. I didn't want to give anything away, but I could still see them staring and trying to eavesdrop.

"Sometimes the most different people understand each other but then those who are alike." He told me, leaning closer. "I guess that's just what happened with Rose and me. It never ruined our friendship."

Mr. Banner came in, but we didn't stop talking. He assigned us some textbook work to do, so we talked while we answered the questions.

"I know you're good friends, and I don't mind. But it always seems like you two are…" I trailed off, my face reddening at m confession. I bit my lip and looked down at my notes.

"Like I said, we get each other," He told me with a shrug. He didn't seem to be writing as much as I was. He was focused more on me. "But Rosalie is with Emmett. They plan to get married, you know." He smiled his crooked smile. "Nothing could tear them apart."

I looked away, smiling. I was pleased by this, because it was cute and because it gave me reassurance. I had nothing to worry about.

"So is that all cleared up?" He looked at me, his eyes wide and pleading. I could still see something on his face, but I couldn't pinpoint it. My gut told me he was still lying about something, but I ignored it.

"Yes," I finished the textbook work and turned to him. "But you know that you can tell me anything. I can understand too." I leaned forward, a little impulsively. He didn't move.

"I know," He sighed. "Just like we used to, right? I've been told we told each other everything."

"Yeah, I think we did," I laughed, a little nervously. This was a touchy subject, and probably not one for sixth period biology. "You haven't changed much, you know."

"Since I was a kid?"

"Yeah. Your hair is the same, and so are your eyes. Your personality is much the same, as well – but you are different, in some ways too."

He studied me for a moment. "You're quite the same, yourself. You hair," He picked up a lock of my dark hair and twisted it around his fingers. "Is exactly the same. Your eyes never change," He looked into my eyes, knocking me breathless. "And your personality…" He let go of my hair and smiled crookedly. "Hasn't changed a bit."

I blushed and looked down, feeling the urge to cover my face with my hand.

"Miss Swan, Mr. Cullen," Mr. Banner walked to our table, causing me to blush an even darker shade of red. He had probably seen everything. "Are you two focused?"

"Yes, Mr. Banner," Edward said, holding up his notebook. It was covered in notes. "We've finished, haven't we Bella?"

"Y-yes," I held up my notebook next to his.

Mr. Banner smiled and took my book. He began running his eyes down the page, checking my notes for anything that was incorrect. After a few minutes, he nodded at me. "Good work, Miss Swan. Everything is correct."

"Thank you," I took it back off him and waited while he checked Edward's work.

"All correct as well, Mr. Cullen," He nodded and handed him his notebook. "Don't let… _anything_… distract you two from doing your best," He looked at us pointedly, causing me to look down and avoid his eyes. He soon walked away, and Edward laughed.

"That was embarrassing," I muttered. "He saw everything."

"I'm afraid so," Edward chuckled. "At least we're not getting… _distracted_."

I laughed and looked around the room. Everyone was either giggling, or staring – I looked away quickly and back at Edward.

"Is there anyone in this school that doesn't know?" I gawked, shaking my head.

"I doubt it."

x-x-x-x

That afternoon, while I was finished today's homework, Charlie announced that he was going to his friend Billy Black's house.

"Do you wanna come, Bella?" He asked me, poking my head into my room and seeing my bed covered with textbooks, notebooks, and pens.

"I don't know, dad," I looked around at my homework. "I've got quite a bit to do."

"It'll give you a break," He told me with a smile. "You've been doing homework nonstop for the past week. Give it a rest."

"Are you seriously telling me _not_ to do homework?" I stared wide eyed at him, with a smile still on my face.

"I guess I am," He smirked.

"But won't you just be watching football? It would be a little awkward for me to just sit there while you guys just and scream over someone scoring a touchdown…" I said uncertainly.

"He has a son," Charlie said. "Jacob."

"Oh…" I looked around my room. I really _did_ need to get out of here. My forest green walls and purple bed spread were fast becoming incredibly annoying. "I guess I could come, then. Just give me a second."

Charlie went downstairs to wait for me while I grabbed my jacket and brushed my hair. I met him downstairs, and we walked to the police cruiser.

"Want to take my truck, dad?" I asked a little nervously.

"Sure," He shrugged and hopped in next to me. I backed out of the driveway and headed towards La Push beach.

We rode in silence, like I expected. It was an awkward silence – it was one both of us could live with. This is what I loved about my dad – we could sit in silence and it would never be awkward.

Charlie directed me towards the Black's house. I pulled into their off road driveway and Charlie and I got out.

Billy and who I guessed was Jacob was standing on the front porch.

"Charlie! Bella!" Billy was in a wheelchair, which I didn't expect. I tried not to act surprised as I shook his hand. "Nice to see you." He looked up at his son. "This is my son, Jacob."

"Hey," Jacob smiled at me and held out his hand.

"Nice to meet you," I shook his hand and smiled.

"You and Jacob used to make mud pies together as kids, whenever I brought you to La Push," Charlie laughed.

"How could I forget?"

Jacob laughed, revealing bright white teeth against his russet skin. His dark hair hung past his shoulder, almost up to the ends of his lanky arms.

"How old are you, Jacob?" I asked him, as the two men headed into the house.

"I'm sixteen," He told me. "Wanna go inside?"

I followed him inside, into his small living room. The Black's house resembled a barn – it was red. I liked it; it was warm and homely.

"Surprised you haven't come over sooner, Bella," Billy wheeled himself to the kitchen. "How long have you been in Forks now?"

"Six weeks," I'd been counting.

"Should I be offended you haven't come to see me sooner?" Jacob grinned at me, causing me to laugh as well. He was infectious.

"Don't take it personally," Charlie chuckled, putting his hands on his hips. "It took awhile for Bella to get used to all the rain."

Billy laughed and stirred the huge pan of spaghetti sauce. "Right. You came from Phoenix, right Bella?"

"Yeah," I stuck my hands into my jacket pocket and leaned against the kitchen cabernet.

"Wow," Jacob looked impressed. "Arizona. You've done well to transition."

"Thanks," I nodded. "Forks is probably the last place I ever intended to go. But now I'm glad I came."

I looked over at my dad. He was grinning.

I didn't tell him that the reason I was so glad I came was because of Edward. That would just raise questions with Jacob and Billy.

"It'll be ready in a minute," Billy told us, only just being able to peer over the edge of the pan. "You guys can go and sit on the sofa. Jacob and I will be in in a minute."

Charlie and I sat on the comfortable sofas in the living room, in front of the huge television. ESPN was already on, gearing up for the game.

Within minutes, Jacob and Billy delivered four bowls of Spaghetti Ragu.

"Special recipe," Billy told me with a wink.

I laughed and settled into the couch. Jacob sat next to me, and we all watched the game together.

Though I couldn't follow any of the rules of football, it was still fun just sit inside the Black's warm house and eat delicious pasta. Jacob seemed like a nice kid, and he was quite easy to be around. There was no awkwardness, no confusion – just two friends.

When the game was over, Charlie and I stood up.

"We'd better get going," Charlie stretched. "Thanks for a great meal, Billy. It was good."

"Any time," Billy smiled and began wheeling towards the door. Jacob walked next to me, and grabbed an umbrella.

"Why do we need that—" I started to ask. But once we stepped onto the porch, I could see why. It was raining buckets. "Oh."

Jacob and Billy laughed.

"I can tell you haven't been here too long, Bella." Jacob held the umbrella over Charlie and I and walked with us to my truck. "Hey, it's the grandpa truck!"

"Hey!" I swatted him and jumped into the cab. "Don't bash the truck!"

Jacob shook his head and laughed. "Ok. Come back soon, guys. Maybe we can do something, sometime, Bella."

I looked away uncertainly. "Sure, I guess."

I started the truck and started driving back to Forks.

"They're really nice," I told Charlie with a smile.

"Yeah, Billy is a good friend of mine," He nodded. "What about Jacob? Does Edward have some competition?"

"Hey," I looked at him pointedly. He just chuckled. "Jacob's nice, too."

"Yeah," Charlie nodded. "He's a good kid. Doesn't have a bad bone in his body."

I believed that. I could never see Jacob saying anything bad about anyone – but then again, I didn't know that well. His dad was nice, so I assumed he would be too. As they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

After a few more minutes of driving, I pulled into our driveway behind the cruiser. We both got out and made a dash for the porch.

"I'm going to go upstairs and finish my homework," I told my dad. Honestly, I didn't have any homework to do – I just wanted to call my mom. "Night, dad."

"Good night Bells. Thanks for coming with me tonight."

"No problem," I said as I walked up the stairs. I actually was pretty tired; I would probably call Renee and then go to sleep.

II went straight to my cell phone and called my mom. "Hey, mom."

"_Hi, sweetheart,_" I could hear her smile from behind the phone. _"I've been trying to call for hours! How are you?"_

"Sorry, Charlie and I went to the Black's house for dinner. I'm good. Wet." I looked down at myself and sighed. "As usual."

"_That's Forks for you_," She laughed. "_How's… school_?"

"Don't you mean… how's Edward?" I rolled my eyes and laughed. "You're really not very discreet, mom."

She broke into laughs. Hearing her laugh made me miss her even more.

"_So… how is he? Are you being safe, like I told you?_"

I blushed red and sat on my bed. "Mom… it's not like that."

"_That's what I said with your father, and then—_"

"Ok, mom, you can stop now," I stared wide eyed at my door. "Too much information, thanks for sharing. _Anyway_…" I rolled my eyes again. "Edward and I just started dating a week ago. I thought you'd be encouraging me to wait."

"_Oh, I am! Of course! I didn't mean to pressure you. In fact, I'm going to put my foot down and say… don't do it!"_ She laughed, showing me she was joking. "_I'm not worried about that. I know you're smart. Have you kissed him?"_

My heart raced at the memory of our kiss against his Volvo; I was glad no one was around to see my expression change. "Um… yeah…"

"_Aw! That's adorable! My little girl…_" She sighed. "_I miss you_."

"I miss you too, mom," I clutched onto the phone, as if I could clutch onto my mom. I had missed her more than I realized. "Of course I do."

"_You should come to visit, soon_." She said. _"Maybe bring Edward… or Alice?"_

She clipped on the last part, obviously thinking of Charlie. I didn't think Charlie would ever actually let me bring my _boyfriend_ on a trip to see my mother – even if that's all we'd be doing.

"Yeah," I nodded, liking the idea a lot. "And to think, I've only been going six weeks."

"_I know, it feels like longer,_" She sighed. "_Just tell me one thing: you're not totally miserable, are you_?"

I shook my head. "No. I'm not."

"_That's all I needed to hear,_" She sighed in relief. "_I'd better let you go. I know it's getting late, and I'm sure you've done all your homework._"

"Yeah," I yawned as if on cue. "I'll talk to you soon, mom. Night."

"_Night, Bella. I love you._"

"Love you too."

I hung up my phone and sat it on my bed stand. I quickly got up to get into my sweat pants and a t-shirt, and then hopped into bed.

I imagined what Edward was doing right now – if he'd be asleep. If he was dreaming about me. If he was _thinking_ about me. The thought made me smile, and I slipped into unconsciousness.

x-x-x-x

**A/N: So… Jacob is introduced. That will be interesting (: **

**Please review x **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey there.**

**Can you believe I'm writing on Christmas Eve? Aren't I the greatest?**

**There is a hint into this chapter about Edward's sudden liking to Bella. Keep a close eye out for it, ok? ;)**

**Also, lately I've been watching a lot of story trailers that have been made on YouTube. If anyone makes videos and feels like making one for me, just let me know... :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

x-x-x-x

Weeks passed, and my relationship with Edward got stranger but _better._

I say this because he still acts as if sometimes, he doesn't want to be there – then other times he treats me like I'm the only girl he sees. It upsets me at my weak moments, but then he seemed to forget he ever had doubts and pulls me into his arms.

It was beautiful, but sometimes it didn't seem right.

Alice, Carlisle, Esme and Charlie seemed to accept Edward and I's relationship with open arms – but Rosalie, obviously had her doubts. Edward and Rosalie still had their moments where they would pull their heads together and have a quiet conversation, but I tried not to pay attention. Like Edward and Alice said... they were just friends.

Emmett and Jasper accepted it too, but not as gracefully as the others. At first they had their doubts, like they were in shock that Edward had finally tied the knot on our relationship. As the days then eventually weeks past, they began to accept that we were just _supposed_ to be together.

Except one lunch time, when they turned up at our lunch table, faces grim.

"What's wrong, guys?" I asked them, my heart filling with concern when I saw the two boys who were like my two older brothers looking gloomy.

"Nothing's wrong," Jasper answered me quickly. "Just got a bad mark on my Spanish exam."

"Spanish?" I choked, shocked. "Firstly, you don't get bad grades. _Ever. _And secondly, you've said before Spanish is a second language to you."

"Yeah, but, I guess I just choked on this one."

Something occurred to me, when I saw Rosalie sauntering over like she was on a cat walk from across the room – Emmett and Jasper had Spanish with Rosalie. Had she mentioned something to them? Something that would turn them off the idea of Edward and I, or turn them off _me_?

She sat across from me and folded her leather-clad arms over her chest. She watched Emmett and Jasper carefully, as if watching for a reaction – was that right?

Edward and Alice pranced over next, (well, Edward didn't prance, but Alice sure did,) and took their seats on either side of me as usual. Edward leaned in to press his lips to mine, and I relished in the feeling of his warm lips melding with mine.

"Ok, cut it out," Alice slapped my shoulder, and I reluctantly leaned away. I took a moment for the stars to disappear from my vision and for my head to stop spinning. "What's on the agenda for this afternoon?"

"Why are you asking us that?" Edward asked, receiving a very angry look from Emmett for a reason I could never guess.

"Good question, because I've planned for us all to come to my house. Mom asked all your parents to come over for a barbecue like they've been meaning to." She beamed and un-wrapped her sandwich. "It'll be great. What's a better way to spend Friday night?"

"With all the parents," Rosalie raised her eye brow delicately, looking more like a French goddess rather like an eighteen year old high school student.

"_We _won't be talking to them," Alice rolled her eyes and giggled. "We can go do something else while all the parents chat. Maybe we can swim, or something."

We all nodded, happy with our plan. I looked up at Edward, but he was now frowning at Rosalie, who was frowning at Emmett, who was frowning at Jasper – what was going on? Were they all keeping some hidden secret I didn't know about?

Alice mustn't know either, because it was her that said, "What the hell is everyone so pissed off about today?"

"Nothing at all," Edward answered quietly. "We're fine." He strung an arm over the back of my chair and leaned closer to me. My heart sped up just like it always did, knocking me breathless just by his proximity. "What time should Bella, Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie come to our house, Alice?"

"Maybe around four-thirty," Alice shrugged. "Or earlier. It doesn't really matter." Alice looked at me hopefully. "If you wanted, Bella, you could just come straight to our house, seeing as we drop you home on the way."

"Ok," I nodded. The thought of going to Edward's house and seeing his bedroom made my heart leap in my chest. How ridiculous. "But I won't have a chance to get my swimsuit."

"Good point," Alice narrowed her eyes, thinking. "If I recall correctly, you left one when you came over to swim last week. You can use that."

Although I didn't remember leaving anything last week, I agreed. The more time with Edward I got to spend this afternoon, the better.

I looked around at the frowning people on our table. Emmett's eyes were switching from me, to Edward, to Rosalie, and back again. Jasper's was doing similar, except he seemed to be _glaring_ at Rosalie and Edward rather than just frowning.

"Guys," Alice said, seemingly breaking them all out of their state. Their eyes all switched to hers, Edward's pained. "Seriously, what is going on?"

"Jasper got a bad mark on his Spanish test," I shrugged, watching Jasper for any reactions that suggested otherwise. "Right, Jasper?"

"Yeah," He nodded. "I did."

"That doesn't sound like you." Alice scowled at him and put a hand on her boyfriend's knee. "What happened?"

Rosalie and Edward smiled.

When lunch ended, it was time for biology. We all went our separate ways, and Edward interlaced our fingers together and swung them from side to side.

"What _really_ happened, Edward?" I asked him, in a low whisper. There were still students who were on the hunt for gossip about the notorious Swan, Hale, Whitlock, McCarty, and Cullen clan.

He pulled us to our seats and sat down. He seemed distracted, just like he always did when I tried to talk to him about something serious. "Nothing _really_ happened, Bella. I don't know what was wrong with them at lunch, other than Jasper's Spanish grade."

I frowned down at the science table; why was he lying? Of course, I couldn't be sure of anything. It was the look on his face that told me he was keeping something from me, and it made me nervous.

He looked away from me, and out into the rain, just like he always did when he thought I wasn't looking. I silently watched him, contemplating. Do I tackle the issue head on, or let him work it out in his own time? No doubt the issue would be minor, and then he wouldn't be trying so hard to keep it so long. But he was _lying_ to me—and I didn't see that as right.

"Edward," The teacher had come into the room by now, but I was trying to be quiet. I put a hand on Edward's shoulder. "Whatever it is, you can tell me, I'll understand."

"No, you won't." He grunted at me, resting his forehead on his hand. "You could never understand."

I was a little hurt; how could he guarantee that when he hasn't given me the chance? I stared at him, my eyes soft and pleading, but he wouldn't look back.

"At least let me try."

He looked over at me, and for a second I thought he was going to confide in me – but no. His eyes became closed again, and a frown spread across his handsome face. "No."

I looked down, biting my lip; Now, I really was hurt. Did he really not trust me enough to believe he could tell me anything, anywhere, any time?

I leaned onto my desk and focused on Mr. Banner. It was extremely difficult to focus on what my teacher was trying to say when I could see Edward staring blankly out the window to my left. I wondered what could be going through his head – obviously, this secret he was keeping. But what in the world could it be? I didn't have a clue.

The rest of the class passed slowly, and then I was off to gym. Edward and I parted ways with a squeeze of my hand, and I watched him stalk off with his jacket over his shoulder and his hands in his pockets.

Gym was a nightmare, as usual. Mike was in my class, so he tried to shield me from the flying balls or bats. It didn't work – I still came out with three small bruises forming on my arms. Mike apologized for letting me get so hurt, when really this was a minor injury compared to what I've had before.

"It's fine," We walked towards the change rooms together, me rubbing my arm and Mike rubbing his head. He had copped a few dodge balls in the face. "It's not your fault I was hurt. It's normal for me."

"Yeah, I guess," Mike shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets. "I can take you to the nurse if you're in that much pain."

I looked up at him, seeing the hope in his eyes that he'd get to help me; or have time alone with me. I always knew Mike wanted more than friendship, but I failed to return the affections. Plus, well, I with Edward.

I smiled. "I'll be ok. See you tomorrow."

I waved to him and headed into the change rooms. I quickly changed from my track pants and Forks Spartans t-shirt back into my jeans and blue flannel shirt. I threw my bag over my shoulder and headed outside, searching for Edward's car.

I was a little excited that I was going to the Cullen house again – to be honest, I actually miss it when I'm not there. It holds so many memories, even if I don't remember every one. And plus, having Edward there was always a plus. Maybe we'd get some time alone...

"Hey, Bella!" Alice pulled me over to Edward's Volvo, beaming. "You ready to go?"

Edward leaned against the car beside me, and smiled when I leaned next to him. "Sure, I'm ready."

I saw someone waving from the other side of the lot, and noticed it was Eric. I waved back with a smile, not wanting to be rude. Then, Tyler Crowley joined in, waving his arm even more powerfully and aggressively than Eric was. Soon, it turned into a contest of who could wave the hardest.

Edward stepped in front of me, shielding them from their view. "Let's go."

I got into the car, frowning to myself; that was incredibly strange. I pushed it out of my mind and focused on the fun that would be this evening.

x-x-x-x

"I'm coming for you, Bella!"

Emmett charged at me, his arms wide open and a grin across his face.

"Emmett, don't you dare..." I held up my arms, cautioning him. But he never stopped running – he wrapped his arms around my waist and launched me into the pool. I struggled against him, trying to reach the surface before I ran out of air.

"Jeez, Emmett, don't kill the girl," Alice shrilled, just as I came up for air, gasping. Emmett just laughed and tapped me on the head.

Edward swam over to me, a small smile on his face. He wrapped his arm around my waist, sending chills and raising goose bumps on my open skin.

Emmett's grin turned into a frown. Edward glared at Emmett for a moment, and pulled me closer to him. I nuzzled into his bare shoulder, inhaling his scent.

Alice giggled from where she was perched next to Rosalie on the edge of the pool. It wasn't fair, really – Rosalie was in a black bikini, which didn't cover much. It's not like it needed to; she was pale and perfect.

"It's freezing in here," I mumbled, running my fingers over the surface of the cool water. Forks didn't exactly give us swimming weather – it was raining. And cold.

"Do you want to get out?" Edward asked. "I'm sure Esme is making something hot in there before dinner. It would warm you up."

I nodded and began making my way to the other side of the pool. I hopped out, extremely self conscious with Edward getting out right behind me. I didn't have a perfect body like Rosalie or Alice; I was pale and ugly. Plain and simple.

Edward and I padded into the kitchen hand in hand. Edward wrapped a towel around me as we walked, and I quickly swatted any excess water off the both of us.

"Hello, love birds!" Esme shrilled, grinning at us. Edward grinned with her, which only made me want to smile. "I just made some brownie for tonight. Would you like to test some?"

Edward chuckled and said, "Told you."

I nodded and took a brownie from Esme's baking plate. It was rich, soft and delicious. "Thanks, Esme, this is great."

"Thank you, dear," Esme smiled at me and continued bustling around the kitchen getting a variety of meat together for tonight's barbecue. "I bet the pools cold, huh?"

"Sure is," Edward nodded, rubbing up and down my arms to create friction. "It's freezing, actually. I actually wonder why we even have a pool, living in the rainiest place in the U.S."

Esme shrugged. "It's fun, right? You kids are the only ones that use it, anyway."

"Do you want any help, Esme?" I asked her, moving closer. I realised I was still quite wet, so I didn't stand too close to her. "I can go upstairs and get dressed."

"It's ok," Esme told me with a warm smile. "Carlisle will be home soon. You just go up with Edward," She winked at me, causing me to blush beet red. Were mothers usually this... enthusiastic about their son's love life?

Edward grinned and began leading me upstairs.

"Esme is so much like my mom," I shook my head in disbelief. "Always wants to be involved."

"She is so happy we're together," Edward's voice warmed so much, I looked up in surprise. I had never heard him talk with so much passion in his voice. "It really matters to me that they're proud of me." Edward looked down, smiling. "I'd do anything to make them proud."

"That's sweet," I smiled up at him as we walked into his grand room. His room looked like it had been designed by his own personal designer; not like mine. My room was just a bunch of knick-knacks Charlie had thrown together for my sudden relocation to Forks.

I grabbed my back pack and headed to the bathroom. Edward changed in his room, much to my distaste.

I gasped at myself in shock; did I really just say that? _Damn hormones..._

I quickly changed, in a hurry to get back to Edward. I fixed my wet hair as best as I could, and began heading back into Edward's room.

"Edward, you can't do this anymore."

It was Rosalie voice, I was sure of it. No one could mistake the beauty that was Rosalie Hale.

"It's making you miserable."

I heard murmurings, which were obviously Edward. I couldn't hear him, though – it sounded as if he was deliberately trying to keep his voice down.

"Whatever, Edward," I heard footsteps getting closer, and ducked back into the bathroom. "Do whatever you want. Just don't come to me when you need help."

Rosalie stalked down the stairs, her fists clenched. She threw her soaked blond hair angrily over her shoulder, still in her bathing suit. Did she really need to see Edward in her bathing suit? _Seriously_?

I emerged from the bathroom and walked into Edward's open room. I awkwardly played with my fingers as I walked up to him, where he was standing at the window with his back to me.

"Hey," I said, putting both hands on his back.

"Oh, hi Bella," He sighed, sounding defeated. He didn't turn around; he didn't even touch me, other than me touching him. Rosalie had said something that had really upset him, and it made me a little angry.

"Are you ok?" I asked him, straining to peak into his eyes. I couldn't see a thing.

"I'm fine."

"Did Rosalie say something that upset you?"

"No," He sighed. "Rose didn't say anything to upset me. She spoke nothing but the truth."

"What do you mean?" I asked, walking around him so I could look into his face. He pressed his hand into his forehead, scrunching his eyes as if he were in pain. I put a hand on his arm and squeezed. "Edward?"

"Everything she said was true," He mumbled, shaking his head. He still wouldn't open his eyes and look at me. I began to get anxious – he looked like he was in pain. What had happened? What has Rosalie done? "She was right, she always is."

"What are you talking about?" My voice began to shake helplessly. "I don't understand."

"You _wouldn't,_" He grunted_, _clenching his teeth together with an audible snap. "You don't _get_ it, Bella."

I cringed; his tone was sharp and full of agony. I wanted to hug him, comfort him, but at the same time I wanted to back away.

"Then let me _try,_" I pleaded. "Just this once, give me a chance to understand."

"No, you don't want to hear it. I've been a horrible person."

"You could never be a horrible person," I told him, the anger rising inside me as I imagined Rosalie saying this to him. "It's impossible."

"I'm not perfect." He removed his hand from his face, and looked into my eyes. For a moment, I was frozen, stuck staring into the hazy green. No, his eyes were never clear. "You keep saying I am, but I'm not. What I'm doing..."

"What are you doing?" I asked automatically. A thousand possibilities ran through my mind. Drugs, alcohol, shop lifting...

"I'm not committing any crimes," He whispered, already assuming my assumptions. He could read me like a book. "I'm _lying._"

"To who? About what?" I had a sickening feeling he was lying to _me._ But I had no idea what he was lying _about_. And I didn't really want to know. Everything seemed perfect at the moment – and nothing could ruin it.

Well, except this.

"I can't tell you," He shook his head frantically, still staring into my eyes. He wasn't staring in the way a lover would stare; it was different. It scared me. "Someday, I'll have to. But not now. Not today."

"Edward, I deserve the truth," I told him, frowning slightly. "We're equal."

"I know, I know," He groaned and put his hand to his forehead again. "Of course, I know that, but it doesn't change anything now. I can't... I just can't—"

"Bella, Edward," Alice danced into the room, a bright smile on her face. She was changed, into a pair of denim shorts and a white tank top. "Come downstairs. Some of our parents are here."

I looked up at Edward, shooting him a _you will tell me_ look. Edward sighed and followed Alice and I out the door.

Rosalie's parents were downstairs, talking with Esme in the kitchen. They were just as I expected – stunning. Nora, Rosalie's mother, practically _was _Rosalie – they looked exactly alike. Long, blond hair, pale skin, and blue eyes. Rosalie's father, Alexander, was a little different, though still handsome. His hair was blond, but the colour of honey. His eyes were more grey than blue, but he was pale. They're voices sounded like angels singing, a lot like Rosalie's.

They both greeted Edward with open arms, as if they were long lost friends. I suppose if Rosalie and Edward were friends in middle school, then her parents would know him well. Edward introduced me to them, and they both shook my hand with blinding smiles.

"Nice to meet you, Bella," Alexander told me, his teeth gleaming in the light. "I'm surprised I've never seen you at our house. Rosalie is always begging us to let her have her crazy parties," He rolled his eyes.

"I'm not really the party type," I confessed. I didn't add: _I've probably never been to your house because your daughter hates me with a burning passion. Yeah, I think that's the reason. What do you think?_

"It's not for everyone," Nora chuckled. "I guess Rosalie is just a party girl."

Rosalie entered as if on cue, waltzing through the kitchen with Emmett, Alice, and Jasper in tow. She shot Edward a glare, and then hugged her parents affectionately.

"You've never mentioned Bella before, Rose!" Nora asked her daughter when she kissed her cheek. "You should have. Then we could have had her over for dinner!"

"Oh," Rosalie looked at me with an evil smirk. "Guess I just... forgot."

"Isn't your father the Chief of Police?" Alexander asked.

I nodded, blushing. I suppose I would always be known as the Chief's daughter.

Then, there was a knock on the door. It was Charlie, followed by Carlisle who had just arrived home.

"Speak of the devil," Esme chuckled, running to the door to greet her husband and Charlie. The seven of us stood awkwardly in the kitchen, Rosalie glaring at me, and then smiling whenever her parents looked her way.

"Charlie, so good to see you again!" Esme gushed as Charlie appeared in the kitchen, still in his Police gear.

"You too, Esme," He sniffed the air and came to stand next to me. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "Smells great in here!" His eyes went wide as he spotted Rosalie's parents. "Well, I don't think we've met."

"Dad, this is my fr—" I stopped myself. "This is Rosalie's parents."

"Nice to meet you," Charlie shook each of their hands warmly with a smile.

"We were just talking about you," Alexander chuckled, examining the both of us standing side-by-side. "You look alike."

"We've been told," Charlie grinned and looked down at me.

Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Edward and I moved to the small table in the middle of the kitchen. We all sat down, while the parents chatted and got to know each other until Emmett and Jasper's parents arrived.

"My dad's embarrassing," I muttered under my breath. Charlie would never hear us over the loud conversation going on anyway.

"He's cool," Emmett grinned and nodded. "He's got a gun."

We all rolled our eyes.

"You think you could ask your old man to give me a tour of the station? Maybe check out the firearms?" Emmett smiled at me, reminding me of a little boy excited about getting his first bike.

"I'm not sure if that's a very good idea," Alice giggled.

"C'mon, Bello, what do ya say? You know if you don't ask, I will!"

I smiled. "Fine. I'll ask. But not right now."

"Swee-eet!" Emmett clapped his hands and grinned. "You're the best, Bells. Really, you're great."

I heard Rosalie scoff from beside him. He looked at her for a fraction of a second, and then back at me.

I looked down, remembering Edward and Rosalie's quiet conversation, and scowled. This was going to bother me all night – I knew my time at the Cullen house wasn't going to be as enjoyable as I'd expected.

x-x-x-x

I later realised, it wasn't as enjoyable for Edward either.

For the rest of the evening and throughout dinner, Edward looked squeamish – he was shifting in his chair, frowning, watching Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie as if they held some sort of secret. I'd put a hand on his shoulder, and he wouldn't even look at me; it was like he was numb. His eyes looked even more shielded than before. It made e nervous. Like I previously predicted, I did not have a very good time.

I stuck close to Alice and Jasper most of the night. Occasionally, Rosalie and Emmett would go off on their own, or Edward and Emmett would. But Alice and Jasper didn't leave each other's side all night. I wished Edward and I were like that... but we weren't. And I'd just have to deal with that.

The three of us spoke with the parents; Jasper and Emmett's parents were just as nice as Rosalie's. Emmett's father was a body builder, so he was bigger than Emmett, and a little threatening. His mother was quiet, but Emmett looked like her. They both had the same dark curls and wide, brown eyes.

Jasper's parents were both from Dallas, Texas – I suppose that explained why Jasper spoke with a bit of an accent at times. His mother was blond, just like him, but his father was black haired – it was quite odd. They were both extremely friendly, pulling me into a hug as soon as I stepped into the room. They loved Alice like she was their own – I guessed they knew Alice and Jasper were dating. No secrets there.

Unlike Edward and I. The thought made me sigh.

Charlie and I stayed until well after dinner. It was Friday night, so none of us had school or work. Charlie was fishing most of the day tomorrow, so I would have the house to myself. Great. Just what I needed. Time to think... and time to worry about Edward.

The clock slowly inched towards midnight, and my head began to droop. I leaned my elbow onto the counter top and rested my head on my hand. My eyes began to slip closed, when Edward appeared in front of me.

"Do you want to take my room?" He asked me.

_As in... sleep in his bed? Did he just ask me to sleep in his bed?_ I was immediately awake at once; well, sort of. I nodded and stood up.

"I'm going to let Bella take my room tonight," Edward told Esme and Carlisle. He looked over at Charlie, "It's ok, Chief Swan, I'll sleep on the couch."

He took my hand and led me upstairs. I was too tired to say goodnight to anyone; I just wanted to close my eyes and drift into a dreamless sleep.

I almost ran into the wall until Edward pulled me away and into his room. He sat me down on the bed and took off my shoes. As if I wasn't shocked enough, he pulled the rubber band out of my hair, letting my hair fall loosely behind me.

"Go to sleep," He sat on the bed beside me, and lightly pushed me down onto his bed. I was in bliss – not only was it comfortable, but it smelled exactly like him. I snuggled into his pillow, silently inhaling his scent.

Usually, if I was awake, I would have objected – but I was just too happy and too tired to care. I felt him stroking my hair, and touching my cheek; I must be dreaming. I have to be. This kind of ecstasy can't be real.

"E-Edward..." I mumbled, forcing my eyes open. "I... I don't want... to... to make you... uncomfortable... in your own home..."

"I won't be uncomfortable," He whispered. "I'll sit here with you until the parents go home, then I'll take the couch."

"But... you must be... t-tired..." I mumbled sleepily, a yawn escaping me mid sentence.

"I'm fine," He replied, still running his thumb down my cheek. "They'll be gone soon, and then I'll sleep downstairs."

"Ok," I curled into the fetal position, pulling the blanket up to my chin. It felt uncomfortable wearing my jeans in bed, but it didn't matter – I was still so happy he was here with me. I would get to fall asleep with Edward right beside me for the first time.

x-x-x-x

In the morning, when I opened my eyes to the gloomy light shining through Edward's bedroom, I was confused – how did I get here? Why am I here?

I craned my head downwards, and saw Edward leaning against the bed, his head leaning on my quilt-clad leg and his hand outstretched where mine had been. I smiled instantly; he looked so peaceful. His face was bear of angry lines, and his eyes were closed. There was no anger, no angst present on his face whatsoever.

He was beautiful.

I restrained from reaching out and touching him. I didn't want to jostle his head, which was leaning so snugly on my leg. To be honest, I didn't want to see a frown or scowl on his face when he woke up. I closed my eyes again, trying to fall back to sleep.

But I couldn't. Every few seconds, I had to open one eye and peek at Edward.

About the thirtieth time I peeked at him, his eyes were open and staring at me.

"Good morning," I whispered, shooting him an embarrassed smile. I felt my cheeks reddening, which just made me blush more.

"Morning," He yawned and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I guess you never made it to the couch, huh?" I murmured with a smile. "I'll give you your bed back." I threw the covers off me and began to get up, when he put a hand on my leg.

"It's ok, stay."

"You mustn't have been very comfortable," I said, shifting so I could pull my legs up to my chest and rest my chin on my knees.

"Your leg is extremely comfortable," He stood up, rubbing the back of his head and came to sit on the bed beside me. "Although... you didn't stop talking."

_Oh, no_... I thought to myself. _I was sleep talking... _"W-what was I saying?"

"I didn't catch a lot of it," He told me with a shrug. "But the bits I did catch..." He peeked at me through his lashes. "Were... interesting."

I put my head in my hands and groaned. "Oh no..." Everyone knew 'interesting' was a subtle way for 'bad' or 'annoying'.

"It's ok," He looked at me full on, knocking me breathless. "It wasn't that bad. You said my name, a few times. And you mentioned your mom. And... Rosalie, actually."

Crap.

"What did I say about you, or... Rosalie?" I wasn't too concerned about my mom. I probably just mentioned that I missed her, or that I loved her... it wasn't as severe as what I could have said about him.

"You mentioned my eyes," He frowned, and then chuckled. "Apparently, you can't read them."

"It's true, I can't," I blurted out, then blushed. "You're very closed."

"My mom says the opposite," He said, frowning again. "She said she can read me like a book."

"Huh," Was all I could say. "What about... R-rosalie?"

"You said: 'She hates me! ... she really, REALLY hates me!'" He imitated me, raising his voice and waving his hands around. He then laughed and looked at me earnestly. "It was quite entertaining when I wasn't trying to get to sleep."

"Sorry," I mumbled, blushing redder than I thought was possible.

"You also mentioned some sort of... secret," He continued, shaking his head and looking down at his golden rug. "I don't know. Then you said you said you were scared, and nervous..." He looked up at me, his face expressionless. "What were you talking about?"

"I don't know," I lied, then shrugged. Shrugging was good. Very blasé.

He now looked at me, a little more curious. "Really? You have no idea?"

"No," I lied again, the lump forming in my throat. "No idea."

"Hm," He smiled at me now, all curiosity disappeared. He must have believed me. He looked towards the stairs. "Do you want to go downstairs and get some breakfast?"

"Sure," I climbed out of his comfortable bed and padded down the stairs behind him. Alice was already there, grinning from ear-to-ear.

"Hey, Edward! Hey, Bella! Have a good night?"

I looked down, blushing; Esme and Carlisle were at the stove.

"It was ok," Edward smiled at her, his smile unusually bright. "Though Bella kept me up with all her sleep talking."

He laughed and slid into a seat beside Alice. I sat next to him, leaning on the bench top.

"Thanks for letting me stay, Carlisle and Esme," I said to their backs, which were focused on the stove. "When did everyone leave last night?"

"They left around twelve-thirty," Carlisle answered, turning around and presenting a plate of eggs. "And no problem, Bella. Any time."

They served us our breakfast, chatting about last night. Esme said Charlie had been wary about letting me sleep in Edward's bed, but Carlisle assured him he trusted us fully not to do anything inappropriate. Alice giggled hysterically at that; but I just looked down.

"Charlie told us you're all alone today, Bella," Carlisle said, taking a bite of his toast. "If you like, you can hang around here. We haven't got anything planned."

"Oh, if it's not too much trouble..." My eyes switched between Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Edward. "I've already spent the night, I don't want to be a bother."

"No bother," Edward answered.

Esme laughed. "He's right. You can stay here as long as you want."

"Thank you," I was so grateful they were accepting me so easily after I just disappeared after ten years.

"It'll be just like old times," Esme said, with a wistful sigh.

I watched Edward's reaction; he looked down and sighed. I put a hand on his under the table and squeezed.

"Just like old times," I agreed, smiling up at him.

x-x-x-x

Alice, Edward and I spent the day in the house. It was quite relaxing, actually – we spent the morning sitting in Esme's garden, amongst the Roses and Tulips. The rain was light, but it didn't bother any of us. I was well used to it by now, and Edward and Alice had never left it.

For lunch, we made Peanut Butter sandwiches. Alice said we had done this almost every Saturday, rain or shine. The thought made us all smile – we were reliving our forgotten childhood.

After lunch, we all fell asleep on the sofas. We were all so tired after last night, especially Edward. He had been forced to sleep against my leg, plus listen to my loud sleep talking. Poor boy.

By the time we all woke up, it was three-thirty. Alice decided we were going to sit on the porch and drink lemonade, another childhood tradition. And that's exactly what we did, as soon as the rain let off. We sat on the steps side by side, sipping Esme's homemade lemonade.

The afternoon came to a close, the sun making a small appearance over the clouds. We all squinted into the light, the sun feeling good on our faces. At that moment, I felt like singing – this had been the best day I've had since I came to Forks. I enjoyed being with Edward and Alice, my former best friends. Though I didn't remember most of my time in Forks, in one day, it felt like it had came flooding back.

Eventually, Charlie called. I told him I would be home to make him dinner, just like always. He suggested he just order pizza, but I insisted. I didn't want to spoil this wonderful day, by spending too much time and suffocating the Cullens.

Edward offered to take me home right away. I hugged Alice, Esme, and Carlisle goodbye, then got into Edward's Volvo. The sky was beginning to darken, so really, it was the perfect time to go home.

"Today was fun," Edward told me, as we drove down his winding driveway.

"It was," I agreed, grinning at the road. "We should do it again, sometime. Did you remember anything, by reliving what we once did?"

He nodded slowly. "I did, actually. It was strange."

I nodded, agreeing again. "Maybe we could keep some of those traditions going. Like, the lemonade and stuff. And the Peanut Butter sandwiches,"

He chuckled. "Yes. I always did enjoy those."

After a few minutes of driving, he pulled into my driveway and faced me. He leaned against the console, his eyes twinkling from the lights in the dark interior of the car.

"Thanks, for today," I said to him, leaning on the console as well.

"Thank _you_," He smiled and leaned in, closing the gap between us in seconds. His lips moulded with mine, making my palms sweat and my heart speed up. The intensity increased, and soon, I was leaning over the console just to get more of him. My hands found his collar, and I pulled him towards me – he leaned over the console, just as eager as I was.

Kissing him had never been like this before. Usually, he didn't seem as into it as I was – I was always so embarrassed by my needs, when he didn't seem very interested. But now, he was definitely interested – I could hear the noises coming out from deep in his throat, and to be honest, I was a little stunned.

We both pulled away, gasping; I looked at him in surprise. No teasing this time, no random apologizing. It had been so... different. And _better. _But why?

"You'd better be going inside, before your father comes out here," Edward puffed, leaning off the console and sitting straight in his seat.

I nodded, feeling incredibly dizzy, and opened the car door. I almost lost my footing when I stepped onto the slippery concrete beneath my feet. I held onto to the car for a second, steadying myself. Then, I walked bravely to the porch, and looked back at him.

He was pulling out, his face expression less. He obviously didn't feel the same way as me – he wasn't smiling, or looking dizzy. He drove away, his mouth turned down in a frown.

Had I done something wrong?

I walked into the house, still feeling light. I shut the door behind me and leaned against it for a moment, hoping Charlie was distracted by a football game.

After taking a moment to compose myself, I walked into the living room to greet my father. I was still a little shaky on my feet. "Hey, dad."

"Hey Bells," He looked up at me with a smile. "Have a good day?"

"Yeah, it was good. I'll start getting dinner now."

I headed to the kitchen to start getting dinner ready. I was running around, trying to distract myself from my heated kiss with Edward. Just as I was about to call Charlie to the table, I remembered something:

"Oh, dad..."

"Yeah?"

"I just remembered... do you think you could give Emmett a tour of the Police Station?"

x-x-x-x

**A/N: I hope you liked it.**

**My Christmas present to you (: have a great Christmas everyone! (A present to me could be a review... ? ;))**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does.**

Edward and I didn't have another kiss for days.

At first, I was offended – what had been wrong with the last time? Had I done something to turn him off? Yes, that must be it. I'm disgusting. I had known it all along, yet I was just too selfish and big headed to admit it to myself.

He still put his arm around me, and occasionally kissed the top of my head – but never anywhere near my mouth. It made me upset; I thought he enjoyed our last kiss. But maybe he was pretending, just so he wouldn't hurt my feelings...

That seemed worse than the alternative.

On Monday at school, it seemed as if the afternoon between Edward, Alice and I were forgotten – no one talked about it, not even Alice. Edward certainly didn't. He seemed distracted. He never looked directly at me, or any of the others for that matter. He wouldn't even look at Rosalie.

Something was up – and I was determined to find out what it was so I could help him through it. I didn't want to see him upset anymore than Esme or Carlisle did. At first, I considered calling them – but I didn't want to alarm them just in case it was unnecessary. By Monday, I already knew who I was going to call.

So, Monday night after school, I called Alice.

"_Hello_!"

"Hey, Alice, it's Bella," I said, stifling a smile over her chipper greeting. I was thinking about stalling, but I decided not to beat around the bush. "I was just wondering... well... has Edward mentioned anything about me to you?"

"_Nope! He's been really quiet all weekend, and all of today. He's hardly spoken a word to any of us – just sat up in his room like a Hermit Crab. Do you know why? I mean, I'm used to him being all quiet and holed up, but this is a whole different thing."_

I frowned as she spoke; I knew this was an instant clue as to why he's been so distant. "Um, yeah... him and I, well—"

"_You_ didn't!" Alice gasped, and I could just picture her hand flying to her mouth. "_Oh my gosh! In his _car_! I am never going to be able to ride in that again."_

I didn't get it at first; but when I did, I gasped in shock. "What? No! We didn't do what you think. We just... um... kissed, a lot. And when he was leaving my house, he seemed really... mad."

"_Really_?" Alice had soon gotten over the ridiculous theory of Edward and I sleeping together. "_He seemed mad? Why would he be mad?"_

"I don't know," I sighed with a shrug. I collapsed onto my desk chair and ran my fingers through my hair. "I was hoping you might be able to help me with that."

"_Hmm... Bella, I know my brother, but I don't know why he'd be grumpy over locking lips with you. How long was it?"_

I laughed. "I'm not discussing this with my boyfriend's sister, ok, Alice?"

"_But we're best friends!"_

"I know, I know, but it's weird..." I looked around my room, the blush forming on my cheeks. I _did_ want to tell Alice, in fact, I wanted to gush and vent about everything I've been feeling in the past few months. But something inside stopped me, and told me I'd be making a mistake. Alice may not repeat it, but it could be overheard. "Look, the point is... I'm a little worried about him."

"_Maybe he's just going through a stage_," I could hear her rolling her eyes in the background. "_He'll be over it in a few days, and if worst comes to worst, weeks. Trust me, I know my brother._"

"Alice," I groaned, putting a hand to my forehead. "You don't understand. I don't think it's any sort of stage. He isn't even talking to Rosalie – and I find that a little odd."

"_He's fine," _Alice assured me. "_If you really want, I can talk to him... ?"_

"No, no, no," I was immediately shaking my head as soon as the idea reached my brain. "No way. I don't want to make him uncomfortable."

"_He won't be. I'll just tell him you have been concerned since after you make out sess—"_

"Ooh no!"

"_Ok, ok, I won't say that."_

"You won't say anything!" If she was here, I would have slapped her. "Not a word, ok? If I want to confront him about it, I will. But you won't. And don't be repeating this to Jasper, because he'll tell Emmett, who will tell Rosalie, who will _definitely_ tell Edward."

She sighed. _"I would disagree, but I know it's true. Ok. Bella, I promise I won't say a word to anyone. Not Jasper. Not Rosalie, and not my brother._"

"Thank you, Alice. That means a lot. I guess I'll see you and Edward at school tomorrow."

"_Ok! Bye Bella!"_

I hung up the phone and held it to my hot cheek for a moment.

So, Alice had been noticing a change in Edward's behaviour. She admitted that he was often quiet and kept to himself, but not like this. The thought had me terribly concerned – what if he was doing something bad? What if he was taking drugs, or drinking?

No. I immediately stopped myself – Edward would never do anything like that. He was too good, and would never disappoint Carlisle and Esme like that.

Which triggered an idea in my head; he had said last week he would do anything to gain Carlisle and Esme's approval. Did he do something to disappoint them? Is he failing a class at school? _What is going on_?

I considered calling him, just to get it over and done with, but my mind dismissed the idea right away. I couldn't ask what was wrong, straight out – I had to work up to it. Show him he can trust me with anything, that he can tell me anything no matter how big the issue. I had to be there for him, through thick or thin.

But how could I show him that?

Maybe I could suggest we go out somewhere. Maybe to a movie, or invite him over for dinner with Charlie. The latter could show him I was willing for him to meet my father, which is a big step. But the first idea would show him I cared, and maybe even cheer him up – so which was more important?

I considered calling Alice again, just to get another person's perspective. But again, I dismissed it straight away – I couldn't tell her, because I _know_ she could never keep that a secret.

While I thought, I grabbed my sweats, my blue camisole, and my toiletries and headed into the bathroom to get ready for bed. After I had showered and my teeth were brushed, I climbed into bed, facing away from the door. I stared at my phone, waiting for a text or a call.

Towards midnight, I gave up. I left my phone on the pillow next to me and closed my eyes – within seconds, I was asleep.

In the morning, when I walked out of my house, Edward's Volvo waited for me in the drive way beside my neglected truck. I tried not to run to their car, but I don't think I succeeded, because when I got in, Alice laughed.

"In a hurry to get to school, are we, Bella?"

I shook my head and blushed. Edward looked back at me and smiled, but he didn't say hello. His smile alone was enough to knock me breathless – I stared at him, even when we backed out of the driveway and began the drive to school. Alice must have noticed, because she looked at me and beamed.

When we arrived at school, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett all leaned against Jasper's black Corvet. As people walked past, I wasn't sure whether they were staring at them or the car – I guessed both, and we walked up to join them with Edward's arm around my shoulders.

"Hey, Bello!" Emmett greeted me first and ruffled my hair. Jasper smiled at me, while as usual, Rosalie didn't even acknowledge I was there. She hung off Emmett, leaning close to him and leering at any girl that showed interest. I never wanted to get on her bad side – no matter why. But, I suppose, I already was.

Like yesterday, she barely acknowledged Edward either. The thought made me happy, but I was suddenly worried I had done something to destroy their friendship. I didn't know what, but for whatever reason, I didn't like it. I vowed to talk to Edward about it later.

We all walked inside together, ignoring the looks we got from the other students and even teachers. Once again, I felt like I paled in comparison – it was like we were all walking down a cat walk, and I was the small, ugly one at the back. The rest of them pulled it off without even trying.

We all parted ways, and I went off to English. Mike and Eric sat on either side of me, and spent most of the class fighting for my attention. They were both nice guys, but didn't they realise I belonged to somebody else? I was hoping I wouldn't have to remind them any time soon.

By the time lunch came around, I had missed Edward so much. I hated it that we only had one class together; how was it that Alice and Edward had so many classes together, but I didn't? The Cullen siblings, in the same class... how ironic.

I fell into my seat beside Edward at lunch. I was the last one to sit down, seeing Mike held me up in the hallway and talked to me about a job at his parent's store.

"Hey," I leaned over to kiss Edward's cheek, receiving odd glances from Jasper and Emmett. Rosalie folded her arms and stared at me, which was incredibly intimidating. Alice just sat there, grinning the day away and picking at her lunch. The mixed reactions of our little cafeteria crowd confused me – who was I supposed to please?

"So... how was class?" I asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Boring," Alice answered with a shrug. "I just couldn't focus, today. I had so much on my mind..." She looked over at Jasper, who smiled at her.

"How about you," I tried to involve Edward as much as I could. I folded my arms and looked over at him.

"Class was fine," He told me, but didn't look at anyone else. For a moment, I felt extremely happy – he was looking at me! And only me! But then I realised... it was because he didn't want to meet the glares of any of the other tables members. I frowned immediately and looked at him. "What?"

I looked away. "Nothing."

The whole table remained in silence for a few minutes, which was strange. Usually Emmett conducted some sort of conversation fuelled by Alice, who I found was peering around the table with a frown just as I was. We both knew this wasn't normal. Something was up.

I picked at my garden salad, now too nervous to meet any of their eyes. I noticed Emmett watching me, and Jasper too – but Rosalie was looking at Edward. For once, she wasn't glaring; she was just watching him, watching his reactions and expressions. If we were friends, I would have asked her if anything was wrong. But we weren't. So I'd just have to guess.

Lunch ended, and I walked with Edward to biology. He wound his arm around my waist, causing Mike to glare at Edward as we walked into biology. I waved at Mike, but Edward ignored him, just as I suspected.

"Edward," I began, leaning against my side of the desk and looking down at my text book. _Get straight to the point, you coward! _"Are... are you ok?"

He looked at me. "Yes, Bella, I'm fine."

"Alice had told me you've been staying in your room," I instantly regretted bringing Alice into it. Edward didn't seem to mind. "And the other night..."

"The other night, we went too far," He told me curtly, now not looking at me.

I felt hurt – we hadn't done anything too bad. Just kissing. "We... we did? Is that why you didn't seem happy yesterday, and now today?"

"No."

These short answers weren't helping me – I decided to confront him about Rosalie. "Is everything ok with Rosalie?"

He seemed to be getting more and more agitated. He obviously didn't like the fact that I was observing his every move. "We're fine."

"Really?" I asked, a little anger rising into my voice. "Because it seems she's doing a whole lot of glaring at you these days."

He looked away and sighed. "She's not very happy with me at the moment."

"Why?"

"She... doesn't... think..." He seemed to be hesitating. "She doesn't like the fact that we're together."

I had already guessed that. But did that mean she wanted him for herself, though she seemed so in love with Emmett? The jealousy made me blush, but I couldn't help it – how could she do that to Emmett?

"No, it's not what you think," He must have seen my blush. "I don't know what her problem is, exactly." Something told me he was lying, but I let him continue. "You just have to learn to ignore her."

"So, is that why she hates me? Because I'm dating you?"

"No..." He did know. I hoped and wished he would tell me, but I had a feeling he wouldn't. He quickly backtracked. "Well, that might be part of the reason. If you really want to know, ask _her._"

I didn't even give that a second thought – no way was I talking to Rosalie. If she was willing to be nice to me, then I would. But otherwise... her fiery blue eyes and scowl scared me.

"Newton is staring at you," Edward growled.

I looked over, and Mike _was _looking at me. I pleaded with him to turn away; I really didn't want Edward to get mad at him. It will only get Mike hurt, and just from personal experience, Edward could create a whole lot of hurt, physically or emotionally.

I hadn't realised, but the lesson had begun. Mr. Banner glared at us, probably for interrupting his lecture.

"If you two don't stop talking, I'm going to have to separate you." He told us, his eyes switching from Edward to me. Everyone in the class stared knowingly, causing me to blush. I hoped they hadn't heard our whole conversation.

"Sorry, Mr. Banner." Edward and I muttered, looking away from each other.

A few minutes later, towards the end of the hour, I turned to Edward. "Hey... what we did last weekend, with Alice, that was fun."

"It was."

"So... do you want to do it again sometime? Maybe this weekend, or next weekend?"

He looked out the window vacantly. "I don't think so, Bella."

I felt a slice pain in my heart; did he just reject spending time with me, without even an excuse? He didn't even spare my feelings and make something up...

I looked down, tears forming in my eyes. I knew I was overreacting, but I couldn't help it. With him being so distant, and everything with Rosalie and Emmett, the pressure was getting to me.

We didn't speak for the rest of the class. Even when the bell rung, I didn't wait for him. I quickly packed up my things and almost ran to the bathroom before I could burst into tears. Coincidently, I ran past Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie in the hallway. They all watched after me, confused.

When I got to the bathroom, I leaned over the sink and clenched my eyes shut. I won't cry, not over this – he has rejected me before.

But this seemed different. The few months before last weekend had been good – we acted like the perfect couple, always holding hands and kissing each other at random intervals. But now... we didn't touch each other much. I tried, but Edward never responded like he used to. I felt almost as hurt as I did when I first came to Forks. He had rejected me, rejected my friendship and anything to do with me. And now – I felt like he was doing the same thing on a larger, but more subtle scale.

"Bella?"

It was Alice; I could tell that much. I ran to a cubicle, hoping to avoid her. I didn't want my boyfriend's sister to see how upset I was about something so small. Of course, she had no idea what he had said.

"Bells... Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie saw you run in here. Are you ok? What happened?" I felt her lean against the cubicle door.

I didn't answer.

"Come on, Bella," She pleaded with me. Her voice echoed around the small bathroom, and I hoped no one could hear outside. "Come out here, and I'll help you. I'll take you to the nurse, and I'll see if we can take you home and get cleaned up."

I slowly nodded and opened the door. She pulled me into her arms and rubbed circles on my back. She whispered in my ear. "If this is about Edward, then you don't have to tell me."

I actually _wanted _to tell her everything. I wanted to explain why I felt so hurt, and exactly what he had said in biology. I wanted to tell her I knew when he lied, and it hurt more than any real physical pain. I wanted to tell her I was sorry for not contacting any of my second family from Forks, for not even bothering to visit when I was there. I wanted to tell her that I would always be here for her, though I haven't been for the past ten years. I needed her so much right now, I couldn't even say. She was not only Edward's sister, but she was my best friend.

"Alice..." I mumbled into her soaked shoulder. "I'm really sorry. I'm so stupid. I should have thought of you and Edward..." I couldn't finish before my throat was choked with tears.

"It's ok, Bella," She said and pulled away from me. She grabbed a few paper towels from the dispenser and began dabbing my eyes. "You don't have to apologize for anything. The most important thing is that you're here _now._ The past is the past. It can't be undone."

I nodded helplessly and let her clean the rest of my face. I grabbed my bag and pulled it over my shoulder, as we headed for the door.

"We'll go to my house, and we can talk," Alice told me, as we walked into the main reception area and explained to Mrs. Cope that I was unwell and needed to go home. Seeing my tear stained face, she agreed and we took Edward's Volvo.

"He can get a ride with Rose, Emmett and Jasper." She told me, when I objected to stealing his car. She had her own set of keys, and we drove to the Cullen house.

Esme and Carlisle weren't home, thank God – Carlisle was at the hospital, and Esme was at some sort of garden show. Alice took me straight up to her room after grabbing me a glass of water, and we sat on her bed.

"Bella... I'm guessing this is because of Edward." She said, after moments of silence. We both stared at each other for awhile, and she seemed to get the message. "Ok. You don't have to tell me exactly what he said, though, if you want to you can."

I looked away, contemplating. Yes, I wanted to tell her. But what if she told him?

My thought process was interrupted by Alice's cell phone. She picked it up, and said, "Hello, Jasper?"

I listened as she explained that she had taken me home, because I was upset. She never said why, or when, which told me she could be trusted. She told me Emmett and Jasper gave me their best wishes, and that they would drop by later and say hi. The idea made me smile – those two could make me smile even on my darkest days.

"I love you too," She told Jasper with a bright smile. "Bye, Jazz."

She hung up the phone and turned to look at me. "Sorry. Emmett and Jasper aren't very happy – they guessed it was Edward. They even snuck out of class to call me," She laughed and shook her head. "They care about you more than you know, Bella."

I smiled a teary smile and nodded. "They're like brothers to me, too."

She giggled. "They'd always heard about you from Edward and I, and they were dying to meet you on your first day. They'd never admit it, but it's true."

I smiled and leaned against her head board. We sat side by side on her bed, her arm around me and my head resting on her shoulder.

"Do you think Edward knows I left?" I whispered.

"Yes. No doubt."

I frowned; I really didn't want him to feel guilty or worry. Yes, I was hurt that he had rejected me, but that didn't mean I wanted him to feel any pain.

Alice didn't pressure me to talk to her about him – we just talked easily, about the past few weeks. I slowly let out some of my deepest feelings, and she acknowledged them like it was everyday chit-chat. I realised I was so lucky to have a best friend like Alice – yes, she was a little crazy sometimes—but she really was a great friend.

Soon, Edward came home. I held my breath when he walked past Alice's room, but didn't come in. He may not have even known I was here; or, he did, but just decided not to talk.

"He must hate me."

"Why would he hate you?" She asked, staring at the doorway just like I was. "He hurt you, remember?"

"I know." I sighed. "But I know I'm just being a big baby. I should go and talk to him, apologize."

"Bella!" Alice pulled me back down when I started to get up. "You're too nice! You didn't do anything wrong. Stop apologizing!"

I put my head back against the headboard, fighting tears when I heard Edward's stereo from his room. I could hear some sort of classical music, but I didn't recognise it.

"He should be the one apologizing, Bells," Alice told me. "He's the one who made a mistake. He has to fix it himself."

A few minutes later, Emmett and Jasper arrived. They both called up the stairs, and Alice said we were in here. I wasn't sure if Edward heard, but I was surprised to see a head of honey blond hair go walking past Alice's room.

I had to fight even more tears when I realised it was Rosalie, going to Edward's room.

"Hey, Bello," Emmett said, watching me sadly. His voice didn't have to the usual cheer and happiness. "You ok?"

I nodded and wiped my nose. Jasper sat beside Alice, watching me carefully. Emmett sat in front of me.

"What happened, Bella?" Emmett was the first one to ask the big question.

_What did happen?_ I thought to myself. Everything happened so fast, so strangely...

I shrugged.

I thought I saw Alice mouthing to Emmett and Jasper, and then Emmett's face went from sad to furious.

"What the hell did he say?" Emmett asked, staring at me. The look on his face scared me – I was quick to reassure Emmett and Jasper, for Edward's safety. I knew they were all friends, but I had no idea what Emmett could do when he was mad.

"He didn't say anything," I mumbled. "It's fine. I'm fine."

"It is not fine, Bella," Jasper said, a little of his Southern accent showing in his words. It was a little soothing. "If he said something to hurt you, you have to tell us."

_He's always been hurting me,_ I wanted to say. _I love him, of course I do, but I can't deny how many times he has hurt my feelings._

Instead, I said, "He didn't say anything to me. It's _fine._"

Emmett and Jasper didn't buy it. Jasper looked at Alice, but she never said anything; I looked at her with gratitude, and she smiled back.

I heard someone talking from Edward's room, and I just noticed the music had stopped. I heard the loud bang of a door closing, which made us all jump.

"What's going on?" I nodded my head towards the door.

"I don't know," Emmett frowned, just like I was. "Rose hasn't been very happy with Edward lately. I guess it's better if she gets it all out now, rather than later."

I trusted him on that; I didn't even want to imagine Rosalie angry. The thought made me shudder, and I felt incredibly guilty for Edward.

"I'm goin' to have a stern talkin' to with that boy," Jasper mumbled, wrapping an arm around Alice and pulling her closer. "He needs to be set straight."

"No he doesn't!" I exclaimed, a little too loud. "Just leave him alone, please. He didn't do anything wrong..."

Jasper and Emmett looked at me, eye brows raised. Of course, it was obvious Edward _had_ done something wrong. Otherwise I wouldn't have ran through the school halls with tears running from my eyes.

"Just... don't say anything, ok?" I asked them, trying to lower my voice. "I'll sort this out on my own."

Emmett sighed. "Ok, Bells. But if you need any help, let me know, ok? I'm not going to let my little sister be pushed around."

I smiled at him.

"Me too, Bella," Jasper told me with a half smile and his blonde curls falling into his eyes. "Just call me, and I'll come runnin'."

I smiled at all of them; I could live with this. Emmett, Jasper and Alice would always be there for me, I knew that. But Edward – he only seemed to be there when he wanted to be. I loved Edward with all my heart, but sometimes, I felt like _his _heart wasn't in it.

"Thank you," I sniffled, leaning away from Alice to hug Emmett's huge shoulders. I then leaned over Alice and wrapped my arms around Jasper's neck. "You guys are the best friends I've ever had."

Emmett, Jasper, Alice and I sat in Alice's room and talked until dinner. I didn't hear another thing from Edward's room, not even when I left to go home. Edward didn't even say goodbye. Jasper dropped me home, seeing his house was closer to mine than Emmett's and Rosalie's. Plus, I didn't really want to ride with Rosalie.

That night, I made dinner for Charlie and didn't mention Alice and I going home seventh hour. I didn't feel like talking much, as we sat at the table eating Spaghetti Bolognese. Charlie watched me, but I ignored him. As soon as I finished dinner, I told him goodnight and went up to my room.

I robotically showered and brushed my teeth, then got into bed. I lay on my side, covering my face with my hand. I left my phone on the night stand, not wanting to talk to anyone.

Just when I was starting to fall asleep, my cell phone started ringing. I frowned against the tears that were streaming down my cheeks, and rolled over to grab my phone.

"Hello?"

"_Hello, Bella, it's Rosalie."_

**Sorry to leave you hanging there. Then next chapter will be out soon! **

**Please review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hey everyone…**

**Happy New Years! Hope you all have a great end of year.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

"Rosalie?" I had a time a hard time controlling the shock in my voice. Her voice didn't sound friendly, like I expected – sure, she didn't sound like she _loathed_ me, but she didn't sound like she particularly liked me either.

"_Yeah, Bella, it's me._" She seemed to scoff behind the phone. I heard her mutter, "_Who else would it be_?"

"So… why did you call me?" I didn't want to be rude, but I didn't really want to talk to her either.

"_I'm calling to tell you that you should be sorry."_

I looked away, frowning – what had I done? I must have done something to upset Edward, then. Otherwise Rosalie wouldn't be calling me at ten-thirty at night. "For… for what?"

"_You know exactly what._" She spat at me, causing me to cringe. "_For leaving him through all these years. For treating him like an old toy you played with and then just forgot about."_

Her words brought tears to my eyes again; why did she feel the need to call and tell me this? I already knew. I didn't need a reminder. "Oh… I've told him before that I'm sorry."

"_Do you think that makes it all better?"_ She was having a hard time controlling her voice behind the phone, like I was. "_It doesn't. He still hurts because of it. Whenever he sees you, I see the smile _force _itself on his face, and you so foolishly fall for it _every single time._"_

I bit my lip, staring down at my bed sheets. I pushed myself up onto my elbows and ran my fingers through my hair, trying to calm myself. "I… I know he still hurts. And I regret ever neglecting him like I did. I'm trying to make up for lost time, right now, but I'm not sure if it's…"

I trailed off, my voice becoming quiet with my own thoughts. I obviously wasn't doing a good job making him feel better – because he has locked himself in his room every night for the past few weeks. I realized, I hadn't been making much of an effort. At the time it seemed like a lot, but now… it was like nothing. Rosalie had broke through my protective shield.

"_Yeah, it's not working. He tells me everything, you know – everything he feels. He doesn't leave anything out, or at least that's what he tells me. I know everything about your relationship, and believe me… he doesn't treat it lightly."_

Her voice sounded venomous. No longer was it the beautiful sound of angels singing like it was at the Cullen house, with her parents. She had turned from beauty queen to venomous snake.

"I know, I've noticed. I know you two are close – you even dated in middle school. I know all that. But I don't know what else to do; how else can I make it up to him?" My voice sounded unusually brave. I wasn't sure where I mustered all the courage from.

She snorted, but it still sounded pretty. "_I don't know. Figure it out. But personally – I don't think you'll ever be able to make it up to him. He'll never really forgive you, no matter how much he says it. Edward is an amazing actor – everything he says to you, does to you… is always going to be a lie."_

Just as I was about to speak, I choked on a sob. What she had said had cut me so deep it was stifling – I needed to bend over myself to keep my heart from splitting in two. "I… I…"

"_Yeah,_" She sounded smug behind the phone. "_I thought it'd be like that. You make him miserable, sometimes. Especially when you talk about your _past _together. So… if you want to keep him… but I don't know why you would… I'd give up on trying to remind him of what once was."_

I breathed a heavy sigh. Rosalie was pushing all my buttons – it was like she knew exactly what to say to hurt me the most. Like she was reading off a script. My own personal _'life is hell'_ script.

"Um…" I tried to control the tears pouring down my cheeks, wetting the phone. I didn't want to show weakness in front of Rosalie. "Thanks, Rosalie. I'll keep that all in mind."

"_Good._" I could practically hear her triumphant smile. "_I'll see you tomorrow, Bella."_ Her voice sounded evil. Like the wicked witch of the West.

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and threw it across the room. It hit the wall with a loud _thwack_, causing Charlie's snores to falter in his room. I quickly rolled over and tried to stifle my sobs into my pillow so he wouldn't hear.

I heard him peek into my room, and as soon as he was gone, I started to cry. More than I had at school, more than I had when I first moved to Forks. I always promised myself I would never cry myself to sleep, just in case I never woke up – but right now, that's what looked like was going to happen. And I didn't care if I never woke up.

x-x-x-x

In the morning, I robotically ate breakfast and dressed for school. I walked from the porch steps to my rusty red truck in the rain with my hood up. When I climbed in, I could hardly find the energy to start the truck – what was the point? This day was going to be horrible. I knew it.

Something inside me told me to: S_tart the truck, Bella. Drive to school. Be with Edward. Then, come home and we can start all over again._ The voice sounded suspiciously like my mom. The thought of my scatterbrained mother made me perk up, slightly – I started the truck and drove to school. My vehicle smelt old and unused, and I guess it was. I hadn't used it for a long time since Edward and Alice started picking me up in their Volvo.

I pulled into the school car park into a spot beside Emmett's Jeep. Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett leaned against it, arms folded and watching the whole car park. They saw me coming, causing Emmett and Jasper to smile pleasantly. Rosalie shot me a knowing look, causing me to cringe into my parka.

"Hey, Bello," Emmett wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "How'd you go last night?"

"F-fine…" My voice sounded confused, even to me. "What happened last night?"

"Nothing interesting." Jasper covered with an angry look at Emmett.

Alice and Edward pulled into the car park, next to my truck. They both got out, and sauntered over to us. Though Edward and I were having some troubles right now, I couldn't help but stare at Edward's body with awe – what did I do to deserve a friend so handsome?

I subconsciously bit my lip when he looked at me in the eye, which was my first mistake; he immediately looked from me to Rosalie, and back again a hundred times. Rosalie looked at him, as if trying to translate a silent message – _I didn't do _anything.

"Hey," He fastened an arm around my waist, but didn't pull me closer. "What's up?"

"Nothing."

We all headed towards the main building, towards our first class. Edward kept an arm around my waist as we walked, never talking an eye off floor. Rosalie and Alice walked behind us, then Emmett and Jasper. Our little group had split up, and I had no idea why.

x-x-x-x

"What did she say to you?"

"Huh?"

I shook my head, confused and dazed. It felt like we had been sitting in biology for hours, rather than half an hour. That was probably because Edward wasn't talking to me. Well, he was now.

"_What did she say to you?_" He repeated, staring at me straight in the eye. He had this way of making me tell the truth, no matter how much I didn't want to. It was totally unfair.

"Who?" I mumbled stupidly.

"_Rosalie_." He said. I could practically he hear him thinking, _who else?_

"Oh… she didn't say anything. She called me last night, but only for some homework." I shrugged.

"Rosalie is a senior, Bella," He told me. "She has different homework to us."

I mentally slapped myself. "Ok. Fine. She called me and told me I should stop trying to relive the old days. And that… that everything that has or ever will go on with us is a lie."

I had never seen him look so angry; or was it pity etched into his perfect features? I couldn't tell, because he was staring down at my notebook like he was incredibly focused on the work there. We both knew he wasn't.

"Why would she say that, Edward?" I was stunned at the annoyance in my voice.

"I don't know, Bella, I—"

"Edward," I closed my eyes, trying to fight the angry tears. "_Stop _lying to me. I don't want to hear what you've got to say if you're going to lie."

The look on his face now looked pained. He was battling an internal battle, I could tell just from the look on his face and the clenching of his fists. "Ok. I won't lie anymore. But please… you have to listen to me. You can't judge right away, or—"

"Edward Cullen, Isabella Swan, separate!" The teacher snapped at us, causing me to almost groan. Right when we were getting somewhere, there had to be an interruption….

Edward looked at me, and then stood up. We received the whole classes' stares as Edward moved to the vacant seat on the other side of the room. This was going to be huge gossip later today.

I watched him clench and unclench his fists from across the room. His eyes roamed around the walls, searching for a distraction from this boring lesson. Or maybe he was just avoiding looking at me.

The bell rang twenty-five minutes later, and everyone hurried out of their seats to the last class for the day. I had to use all my restraint not to sprint across the classroom and demand Edward tell me everything, just like he was going to during class.

But he left before I could get to him. He had disappeared, leaving me standing in the doorway to the biology classroom, confused and lonely.

I walked to my locker slowly. When I opened it, a piece of paper fell out. It read, in Edward's cursive hand writing:

_Bella,_

_I'm sorry we didn't get time to talk. If you like, I'll meet you on your porch at eight tonight. _

_-Edward. _

I breathed a sigh I didn't know I was holding and slammed my locker shut. I walked quickly to my next class, already a little excited for Edward's visit.

x-x-x-x

I sat anxiously on my bed, waiting for my alarm clock's numbers to shine an eight, a zero, and another zero. I couldn't wait any longer by the time it reached seven fifty-nine.

I walked downstairs, telling Charlie I was just getting some fresh air outside. He let me go, and I sat on the porch steps, leaning my head on my hands. Edward's car pulled into a car spot across the street, and he walked up to the porch and sat beside me.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, sending butterflies free in my stomach – how was this talk going to end? I didn't want to know, but then again I really, really did.

"Sorry for getting us separated today," Edward whispered, looking back at the front door.

"Yeah, me too," I whispered back. I looked towards the forest. "Hey, do you want to take a walk in the forest, to get away from my dad?"

He nodded, and both walked into the forest. It was dark, but the faint light from the houses across the street brightened up the trees. It could be romantic, but it wasn't.

"Rosalie…" Edward didn't seem to know where to begin. He stuck his hands into his pockets. "I'm not usually the person to do something like this. If you had stayed around, you'd know that."

"Do _what?_" I asked.

He looked down, struggling. He pulled me to a stop, by grabbing onto my wrist and pulling me towards him. "Bella, when I asked you to go to dinner with me that first time, I…"

"You… you what?" I didn't like where this was going. At all. I could feel the lump rising in my throat, choking me. Could Rosalie have been right?

"I did it… because… ok. My parents told me that when we were younger, sometimes we acted like… well, a couple." I held my breath. "And… they said that one day, they hoped we could _really _be together. You're perfect for me, in every way. They said you're sweet, kind, caring, everything their son needed," He rolled his eyes in the dark. "When you returned, they hoped something would happen. A spark would ignite, and we'd become best friends, and then…?" He trailed off suggestively. "But when they saw how I acted around you, they got disappointed. They looked at me differently. They looked at _you _differently. And… my parents mean so much to me, Bella, please know that I was doing this for them."

"Doing… doing what, exactly?" My mind was scrambling, racing to catch up.

"Pretending to love you."

My tongue felt like it swelled in my mouth, because I could no longer speak. I stared behind him, at my porch, at the rest of the houses. I suddenly felt so cold.

_Pretending. Pretending. Pretending. Pretending. _

"Pretending," I muttered, my voice sounding a little shocked. I was breathless. That one word had caused my chest to clench until I couldn't breathe.

I realized, at the worst possible moment, that I loved Edward – or, I was _in_ love with him. It had been so obvious. Even when I was seven, I loved him. Not in the same way, but just in a more innocent form. But now… I loved him. I knew it.

And this couldn't have been a worse time to realize.

"Bella," I must have been swaying, because Edward grabbed onto my shoulders. "Bella, are you ok? You're shaking."

I fell into his body, by accident. It felt good to be close to him again, after days of not enough contact. This isn't the type of contact I wanted – he wasn't pulling me into him, but only holding me up. His firm hands held my arms firmly, keeping me from falling.

"I'm sorry, Bella," He whispered, forcing me to look at him. "I didn't want it to happen like this. Though I don't love you, I don't hate you like I used to."

Oh, very comforting.

"I see you more as a friend, now. I wish it could be different. But this… Rosalie made me see. This… faking is making me unhappy. Alice has noticed, and my parents have to. They're suspecting something, and I can't have them suspecting—"

"Take me home."

"What was that?" He leaned closer to hear me.

"I said… _take me home_."

He nodded and pulled me towards my house. I walked, but he was doing most of the moving. He stood me on my porch, half leaning against the pole.

"I'm so sorry." He told me with a sigh. "I'll see you tomorrow. Things won't be the same, but… there is nothing I can do."

I stared at him, but at the same time, I wasn't really paying attention. My eyes must have been glazed, because my vision was blurring. Or maybe that was tears.

"Go inside," He said softly, turning me towards the door and giving me a little shove. I stumbled against the door, fumbling with the knob. I begged it to work – I couldn't be near him anymore.

"Bye," Edward whispered.

I slammed the door, and leant against it. I hadn't realized I was sliding down its length until Charlie walked from the living room and saw me. "Bells? You ok?"

I didn't look up. I pulled myself up and walked straight past him, without muttering a word or making any eye contact. I ran straight up to my room and collapsed onto my bed, fully clothed, my hair damp from the light rain that had been falling outside. Before I had time to think about what I had just learnt, I fell into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning, I turned over at looked at my clock. It was eleven thirty-three.

"_Shit_," I didn't usually curse, but it seemed necessary now. I leapt up from my bed and got dressed in a matter of minutes. I grabbed my back pack and cell phone and sprinted down the stairs.

When I checked my phone, I had seventeen missed calls.

"God," I grumbled, shaking my head. They were all from Edward. Two were from Alice.

_Edward._

His name sent a shocking pain shooting through my heart. Everything that had happened last night came flowing back, causing me to collapse onto the stairs and hit my head. My head was the least of my worries after last night, as the words circulated themselves in my head.

_Pretending to love you._

It was all a lie, just like Rosalie said.

It all made sense.

The way he never seemed exactly happy with me. After we first kissed, he didn't look like he enjoyed it. Whenever he touched me, he hesitated. He never smiled like he used to when we were children. Whenever we went too far he looked upset, almost unhappy with himself. His vacant stares. Secret meetings with Rosalie.

More began to click together. Emmett and Jasper frowned whenever Edward touched me. Like he was committing a crime – the crime of lying. Making me believe he loved me. They haven't been chummy with Edward weeks.

And this was why. They knew every touch, every kiss… was a lie.

I had to stop myself from sobbing, right there on the stairs. I pulled myself up the stairs, knowing school would be impossible today. Without commanding myself, I crawled into the bathroom and started the shower. I peeled off my clothes and sat on the floor of the shower, letting the water flow over me like a waterfall.

Coming to Forks was a mistake. It was just that simple. If I hadn't of come back, everything would be normal – sure, Edward would have forgotten me. I would have forgotten him. But maybe it was better that way; not knowing. Less pain for the both of us.

But was he feeling pain?

I highly doubted it. This whole time, he's seemed void of emotion. Or, at least around me. Who knows what he was like at his house – I'll never know, because these past few months have been nothing but lies and pretending.

When the water started running cold, I crawled back out and wrapped myself in a towel. My hair was dripping down my back, my feet were making wet marks all over my room, but it didn't matter. I sat on the edge of my bed in my towel, looking down at the floor.

I jumped when my cell phone rang. I had left it on the floor of the bathroom, in my back jeans pocket. I didn't bother getting it; I already knew it was going to be.

A few minutes after it had finished ringing, the home phone downstairs went off. I considered answering it, just in case it was Charlie or the school. But I left it. I didn't want to talk to anyone.

Hours passed, and I didn't move from my position on the edge of my bed. Sometime in the past hour, I had changed into sweat pants and a t-shirt. My phone had rung another ten times since before. Plus, it had buzzed about a hundred times, meaning text messages.

_I don't want to look_, one part of me said. Another part said, _Oh, just one peek can't hurt._

My second part won in the end. I walked to the bathroom and picked up my phone.

_One message can't hurt THAT much…_

The last message I received was ten minutes ago. I ran my eyes over the whole phone before opening the message.

_**B. Tell me ur ok, pls. **_

I held my breath for a moment, as the tears began. The name on the top of the screen sent shivers down my spine, and aching pains through my heart. My hand flew to my chest, trying to stifle the pain there.

I threw my phone onto the ground and stamped on it; I don't think I broke it. I ran back into my room and fell onto the bed in a mess of tears and gasping. I hoped Charlie didn't come home right now, because that wouldn't be a pretty sight. Neither of us would know what to do with me.

x-x-x-x

An hour and a half after reading the text message, there was a knock at the door.

I clambered down the stairs, not thinking before I whipped the door open so fast my hair fluttered in the wind. It took me a moment to realize that it was Alice standing at the door, and behind her was Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and… Edward.

Alice's face was full of sympathy, but I felt betrayed.

"_Leave,"_ I growled, slamming the door in all of their faces. I stood staring at the door for longer than normal, but I didn't care. I was glaring at the door, like I was glaring at _them._ My friends. Or… were they still my friends?

"Bella," That was Emmett's voice. "Bella, let us in."

I didn't answer. I folded my arms and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a granola bar. I hadn't eaten all day, but I didn't feel hungry.

"Bella," It was more of a groan now from Emmett. I could hear him all the way from the kitchen. "Please. We need to talk."

I ignored him again. He's the one that had decided to keep this from me. The only person who really had the guts to tell me the truth was Rosalie.

Though I was heartbroken, I felt an odd surge of defiance and anger. Edward had deceived me. Led me on. Emmett and Jasper had lied to me, just like Edward had. Who knows about Alice. She was my best friend, but Edward was her brother.

Blood is thicker than water.

After half an hour of standing on my porch, my friends finally decided to leave. I breathed a sigh and went back up to my room, shivering. No matter how many jackets I pulled on, I was still cold.

My phone buzzed, but this time, it was Alice.

_**B. I know youre pissed. I get that. But dont shut us all out from tlking to u. I just want to hlp. Of course, I hav no idea wat happened. Edward wont tell me, nd I dont really wanna ask. Hes been really down. Pls, let me in. A x **_

I battled with myself for several moments. I could trust Alice, or I could push her away like I would do with all the others. A part of me told me she was a true friend, and that she just wanted to be there for me. The other part told me she was traitor; so why should she deserve my friendship?

_I have no idea what I'm doing. _I thought. _I want to scream, but at the same time, I want to cry. _

Later that evening, Charlie came home. I cooked dinner for him, and then we sat down and ate together. He was still confused after last night's episode. It took me ten minutes to tell him I was just having a bad night, and he seemed to believe me. But now, his whole opinion had obviously changed.

"How was school?" He said, between mouthfuls. He was looking up at me suspiciously.

"I… I didn't go today."

He raised his eye brows. "Why?"

"I didn't feel well."

"You haven't missed a day so far," He said. _Now_ he decides to be observant. "You must have been feeling pretty lousy. You look a little weary."

"Yeah," I bit my lip, fighting tears at his words.

"Think you'll be better by tomorrow?"

"I don't know, dad."

He must have noticed I didn't look _sick_. Or not in the way he thought. I didn't have a cold, or stomach flu. I had a different kind of sickness.

After dinner, I cleaned the kitchen four times then went up to my room for the night. I heard Charlie making a call downstairs, but I didn't listen to a word. I was too tired, though I hadn't done anything today but cry and scream. I ducked downstairs to tell Charlie I was turning in early, and he told me he hoped I felt better. I thanked him and curled up on my bed, facing the window.

x-x-x-x

The next day, I woke up at 7:00 am. I already knew as soon as I opened my eyes that I wouldn't be in any sorts to go to school today. No matter what Edward or Emmett or Jasper said, I wasn't going to talk to them. Thank god today was Friday.

Charlie had already left by the time I stumbled down stairs to eat breakfast. I was a little thankful – I didn't want him seeing me like this. One look in the mirror told me I looked worse today than yesterday.

At around lunch time, there was a knock on the door. As I opened the door, I was about to tell them to go away. But it was Jacob.

"Jacob?"

"Hey, Bella," He smiled and stepped inside. He pulled me into a quick hug, which was warm and comforting. "How you doin'?"

"Um…" I was a little taken aback by his random visit. "Fine. Say, shouldn't you be at school?"

"Took the day off," He shrugged. "Didn't need me, anyway."

I laughed, a little nervous. "Oh… so… don't mind me asking, but why'd you come here?"

"Charlie called me last night," He suddenly looked serious as he leaned against the post at the bottom of the stairs. "Said you were a little… down."

I frowned. So _that's _who he was calling last night. Huh. "Oh. Well… I'm fine."

"Don't look fine."

I looked down and away from him. He saw right through me. Of course he did.

"What happened?" He asked outright, no beating around the bush.

"E-Edward… broke up with me last night." I confessed, for the first time. The words felt great, but at the same time, they felt horrible, though it wasn't exactly the truth.

"I'm sorry, Bells," He sighed, pulling me into another warm hug. "Really, I am."

"Thanks," I grumbled against his chest. He was so much taller than me, though I was older. "Is that why you came? To make me feel better?"

He stepped away and saluted like a soldier. "At your service."

I smiled and closed the door behind him. I led him into the kitchen, where we sat at the table and picked at sandwiches. We talked about school, and his friends, Embry and Quil. I explained to him everything that had happened in my life since we last were together; including everything with Edward, Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett and Alice.

"What?" He gasped in disbelief. "He was… pretending? All these months… ?"

I nodded weakly. "H-he… yes. He didn't want to hurt his parents by _not_ dating me."

Jacob scoffed and clenched his teeth together with an audible snap. "What a jackass. How could he do that to you?"

I shrugged. "He's not that bad. He apologized, and—"

"That doesn't make it any better!" Jacob stood up, knocking his chair behind him. He turned to face the wall and had to regulate his breathing for a few minutes before he spoke. "He left you. He played you for all these months and acted like he was really interested. How can you speak nicely of him?"

I grimaced. "He… he's important, Jake. I hate him for what he did, I do, but…"

"But?" Jacob growled, sitting back in his chair. He looked like he had calmed down marginally. "But what, Bella?"

"Calm down, Jacob," I cautioned him, placing an arm on his, hoping to soothe him. He took a deep breath and looked at him. "It's no big deal."

"It must be a big deal if you're skipping school. You look like a mess, Bells, and it's only been two days. What if it gets worse?"

"I'm _fine,_" I stared at him.

"Sure." Jacob nodded sarcastically. "Charlie seems to think differently. He knows you're not sick. He doesn't know what happened, exactly, but he's not stupid."

I looked down. Of course I hadn't fooled Charlie. But there's nothing wrong with grieving, right? "I'm going to school on Monday. I have to face him, _them_, sometime."

"I know. That's what I wanted to tell you."

I waited.

"Avoiding them isn't the answer. I understand that you're upset, or whatever. Anyone would get upset after what he said to you."

"I know, Jacob." I sighed in defeat. I put my head in my hands and squeezed my eyes shut. "Trust me, I do."

I was surprised by my reaction Jacob's words. Everything he said was correct, but I didn't cry. There was a lump in my throat, but I felt numb. I suppose I can only cry when I'm on my own.

"Can we talk about something else?" I murmured into my hands.

"Ok," Jacob nodded. "How about… when are you coming down to La Push again?"

I smiled slightly. "Soon. I haven't been in so long."

"I've missed you," He lightly nudged my hand and grinned his white toothed smile. His hair fell into his dark eyes.

"Yeah, I've missed you too," I bit my lip and looked at his face; he was getting older by the day. He was handsome, anyone could see that. "Did you know you're kinda good looking?"

Jacob burst into laughs. "Thanks, Bells, but I think you're going a little loopy."

I glared at him and punched his shoulder. It hurt my hand. "I'm not loopy. You're the one who skipped school to come and give me a lecture."

"Nice," He nodded, and stood up. "Well I'd better go."

A wave of anxiety and sadness washed over me, almost knocking me breathless. The thought of happy Jacob leaving me right now made me afraid. "Do you have to leave so soon?"

"I've got…" He cringed. "Homework."

"Bring it over here," I snapped, a little possessively. Jacob looked at me with confusion.

"Um… ok. I can do that." He headed for the door. "I'll be back soon."

I remained at the table, staring at the ticking clock. The more I stared, the slower it seemed to go. I had to pull my eyes away and hope it would tick by faster.

Somewhere after fifteen minutes, there was a knock at the door. I walked over and pulled it open. "Jake, you're back —"

But the person standing there was no Jacob.

"E-Edward…" I whispered, staring at him with wide eyes.

"Bella, why haven't you returned my calls? Answered my text messages?" He walked in, not even asking if he could. He walked to the stair and turned towards me. "Why?"

I folded my arms, fighting tears. "Because I didn't want to."

"I was worried about you." His voice was hard and ice cold.

"Since when do you _worry _about me?" I spat at him, the anger bursting out of me before I had time to rein it in. I had no idea I was holding so much fury.

"Since you didn't turn up to school for two days."

"Since when do you even _care_?" I threw my hands up in the air, breathing heavily. The tears sprouted into my eyes, and Edward's eyes softened just a little.

"I care, since I hurt my best friend." He sighed, taking a few steps closer to me. My breathing hitched. "What I did has been eating at me for days. _Months_."

"That doesn't make it any better," I whispered, my voice shaking. "For all I know, it could be a lie."

"Bella," He almost groaned. "I don't usually lie. I wished I hadn't. It wasn't worth it, hurting you for my parents. When I told them what had happened, they were angry at me. They were_ mad_."

"So it was worthless," I mumbled, shaking my head. "Everything we did… was for nothing."

"Not nothing. This has made me understand you so much better. Though I'm hurt you never contacted me, I get it a little more now. Everything you told me, everything I told you, was true."

I stared at him, feeling more worthless than ever. I had never seen him look so guilty.

"But, Rosalie… ?"

"Rosalie doesn't know," He said through his teeth. "She has no idea. She thinks she does, but she doesn't. She's my friend, yes, but she doesn't have any control over me."

"She seems to."

"Well, she doesn't. I made every decision on my own, though she was the first one to figure out what I was doing."

I sighed and leaned against the wall. "Edward… Jacob is coming back soon, and I'm not sure you should be here when he is."

"I'm not leaving until I make you see that what I did was stupid, wrong, and childish." He stood his ground, clenching his fists.

"Edward…" My voice sounded quiet and weak. "No matter what you say, I'm never going to stop feeling like you used me. Because you did. It may have been for a good cause, but that doesn't make it right."

"I know Bella, you have no idea how stupid I feel."

"You shouldn't feel _stupid_," I sighed. "You should feel… I don't know."

"Where does this leave us?" Edward asked, stepping closer to me, almost till our chests were touching. He held out his hand. "Friends?"

I stared at his hand. "I don't know, Edward. I'm still…"

"Of course," He shook his head, like it was so obvious. "Of course you're still hurt. You want time to heal. I get that."

"Time would be good," I nodded and shoved my hands into my back pockets. "But we can't go back to normal. At least, not right now."

"I know. And I won't push you. When you're ready to be friends again, I'll be here."

I heard the door swing open, and Jacob appeared. He eyed Edward for a moment, then clenched his teeth together and glared. "What is he doing here?"

"Jacob!" I scolded him, "He came here to apologize. It's ok."

Jacob dumped his armfuls of homework onto the table beside the door and crossed the room to stand in front of Edward. They both tensed, almost being nose-to-nose.

"If you _ever_ hurt her again," He snarled, the old Jacob no longer present. "I will break you."

"No chance of that." Edward growled back. "Hurting her again, or you breaking me."

Jacob shoved him into the stairs, but Edward stood his ground. They knocked into each other, Edward shoving Jacob back into the wall, then Jacob shoving him harder and faster. It was a game that lasted minutes before I stood between them.

"Stop!" I was crushed between their chests. "Don't fight! Edward, leave! Jacob… I don't want you here anymore!"

They both glared at each other, and then looked down at me. The way Jacob watched me made me think he was seeing me as something else than I was seeing him. How could I have been so stupid?

"Goodbye, Bella," Edward said curtly and stepped around me. He was gone within seconds, already pulling out the driveway.

Jacob stared at me and folded his arms. "Why was he here?"

"I already told you. He came to apologize! And I accepted. Now, you had no reason to be so mad at him. So maybe will have to take a rain check on the homework."

Jacob nodded and scooped his books into his arms. He nodded at me, and then ducked out the door to his Rabbit. I watched him leave, and then fell into a heap in one of the worn kitchen chairs.

I wasn't sure how long I stayed there, leaning awkwardly against the table. Charlie came home, saw me, and pulled me into his arms. I couldn't find it in me to cry, thank God – I don't think Charlie would have known how to deal with that.

"Thanks for sending Jacob over, dad," I mumbled, as he let me go to call for a pizza. "It was good." _Until he had a fight with my ex boyfriend._

"No problem. I thought you'd want some company. Right now…" Charlie frowned and spoke into the phone. I turned away from him, just so he wouldn't see the pain on my face.

x-x-x-x

**A/N: Hope you liked.. please review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. **

**I should probably let ya'll know that my parents have reinforced the no-laptop-during-the-week rule. So, I will only be updating once a week. Maybe twice, if I write fast. Sorry :/**

I went back to school after the weekend, and everything seemed normal. Or, as normal as things could be right now.

I had a hard time talking to Emmett and Jasper, knowing they lied to me about Edward. I found it easier to talk to Edward then either of them, sometimes. But I don't think anything could repair Edward and I's relationship.

Rosalie and I seemed like we were on better terms – or, at least she didn't glare anymore. I got the occasional smile, I guessed because I wasn't dragging Edward down anymore.

But Edward wasn't the same as he was, even before we were together.

He didn't smile nearly enough. He talked to everyone at lunch, and during classes, but there was nothing in his eyes to show he was really there. Present. He looked vacant – even more so than when we were dating. Or, pretending to date.

The thought still made me want to cry, but I tried to ignore my feelings. Jasper has always been very good at reading people, just by the emotions on their face. Sometimes, he'd see me grimace or my face crumple, and he watched me with sympathy and regret.

Edward and Alice still invited me over to their house, but whenever I saw Carlisle and Esme, I received looks of sadness. When they eyes took in Edward and I standing beside each other, I saw nothing but hope – hope that maybe, we can work things out.

But I seriously doubt that.

Two weeks after Jacob came to my house to make me feel better, I went to La Push. Billy said Jacob was in his room, and I followed him down the hall.

"Jake, Bella's here to see you," He looked at us both, eyes suspicious and shifty. I could bet my college fund that he would tell Charlie about this later.

"Hey Jake," I waited until Billy left to speak.

"Hi, Bella." Jacob grumbled, looking up from the magazine he was reading and at me. I stood in front of him, awkwardly playing with the corner of my jacket. "I thought you'd never talk to me again."

I sighed. "No. I wouldn't ever stop talking to you."

"What happened with Cullen?" He spat, as if he was just dying to ask.

I looked down and glared at the floor. "Nothing happened. We're friends. That's all."

"I don't know how you forgave him," He looked away from me, clearly hurt and angry. His fists were clenched tight against his bed sheets.

"I forgave you for fighting, didn't I?" I smiled a little. "It's not the same with Edward and me. Our friendship is very strained… I'm not going to lie."

"It should be. It wouldn't be normal if you two went back to being the best of friends," He rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Seriously, Bella? I could tell he was playing you."

I ignored that last comment. "I didn't come here to talk about him. I came here to spend time with you."

He smiled and finally looked at me. "What do you wanna do?"

"Go out to your garage?" I remembered when Charlie and I came to their house all those weeks ago, and Jake and I sat in the garage, drinking warm sodas. That was one of my best afternoons in Forks so far – and I wanted to relive it.

"Sure." He got up and walked to the door. I followed behind him, and we walked out into the light rain and into the garage. His rabbit was sitting there, looking new and professional. I sat in its open door and leant against the frame.

"I miss this."

"Miss what?" Jacob asked.

"The… simplicity of _this_," I waved my arm around the garage. "It's so easy being here. A lot more simple than being in Forks with Edward."

"And that's why you should come down here more often," He chuckled, sitting beside me. "I miss you. You stay away too much."

I bit my lip and nodded. "There's just been a lot going on…"

"I know. I get that. But I want you to know…" He voice turned soft and quiet. "That I would never hurt you. Not like he did. I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

"I know." I leant my head on his shoulder and sighed. My chest didn't feel as tight, my breathing not as strained when I was with Jacob. He made it easier in more ways than one.

"And don't forget it," His chest rumbled against my ear as he laughed. "I think anyone would need a break from the Cullens for awhile."

"What does that mean?" I looked up at him, frowning. I didn't like his tone.

"Well… nothing, forget it." He shook his head. "Forget I even mentioned them."

I didn't want to fight; I didn't have the energy, nor was I in the mood. I wasn't getting along as well with my friends as I used to, and I didn't want to wreck anything with Jake over his big mouth.

We sat in the garage for the next few hours, mostly in silence. I leaned against his shoulder, taking in his musky scent and basking in his warmth. It was so different from being close to Edward – he always seemed rigid and uncomfortable, while Jacob seemed so relaxed and carefree. In a way, I liked being with Jacob better.

But that didn't change the fact that I loved Edward. Not one bit.

"I'd better go," I noticed the cloud-congested sky begin to darken outside. He stood up and put an arm around me, leading me back to my truck outside the house.

We stood by the cab, getting wet by the rain.

"When will you come back next?" He asked me, breaking the calming silence of the pattering rain.

"I don't know… but soon." I smiled and walked to door, taking hold of the handle. Just before I was about to yank it open, Jacob placed his hand on top of mine.

"Bella, I want to ask you something."

"Yeah?" I raised an eye brow, waiting.

"Do you want to… I don't know… come to Port Angeles with me? Maybe we can see a movie?"

"Um…" His tone has changed from friendly to anxious, and I knew he didn't mean going to Port Angeles as friends. He meant a _date_.

The idea didn't sound so bad, if only I wasn't still aching from what Edward did. Butterflies were set free in my stomach, and I took a deep breath. "Jake…"

"I know it's only been a week. But I… I just think…" He stared into my eyes, biting his lip. He must have gotten that habit from me. "I would be so good for you. Better than he ever was."

"I'll have to think about it, ok?" I pulled the truck door open and climbed inside. I admit; I was trying to avoid his eyes. "I'll call you."

"Uh… sure." Jacob frowned slightly and lightly tapped the hood of the truck. "See you later, Bells."

I backed out of the driveway and headed home, not being able to get Jacob's face out of my mind.

x-x-x-x

I spent the rest of the weekend at home, debating my options; Jacob… or Edward?

Though I knew Edward didn't love me, that would never change the fact that I was in love with him. If Edward never responded to me, then I would end up living my life alone, grieving for the boy I loved when I was only seventeen years old. I might grow to love someone else, but not for a very, very long time.

Jacob had clearly shown he had a thing for me. It wasn't love, I knew that without even thinking, but being with Jacob was… nice. Would it be the same if I was actually _with_ him?

Edward used to make me feel special. Like I belonged with the Cullen friendship group. Every move he made caused my heart to flutter and beat so hard I thought it was going to explode in my chest. Whenever I saw him, I felt like we _needed_ each other – to live, to survive.

Jacob makes me feel like I can be anything, do anything I want to. No matter how ordinary I may seem, he treated me like nothing mattered as long as I was _me_. His friendly face and relaxed words made our relationship seem easy as breathing. No tension, no awkwardness whatsoever.

So… what should I do?

I was lying in bed on Sunday night when I finally realized what I was going to do.

I was going to go on a date with Jacob, and see how it goes. If it goes well, then I'll consider Jacob becoming my boyfriend. And if it doesn't… then… I've made my decision. I'll live alone for the rest of my life.

On Tuesday before school, I called Jacob and told him I would go to Port Angeles with him. He sounded so happy on the phone, I could hear his laughter as he talked. He said he would pick me up tomorrow afternoon at five-thirty.

I decided to tell the rest of the group about my date with Jacob that lunch time.

"_Jacob_?" Alice had exclaimed, a smile forming on her face. "You're going on a date with… your childhood friend?"

I nodded. "Yeah. What's so bad about that?"

Edward stared down at the table, a fierce frown on his face. It thrilled me a little to know I had gotten a reaction from him, even if it was one I didn't particularly want.

"Nothing's wrong with that," Alice shrugged, picking at her fruit salad. "Do you know what you're wearing?"

"I don't know, jeans?"

"_Jeans_?"

"Yes… ?"

"No way!"

I sighed and looked at Rosalie. She was beaming, more than I had ever seen her. I guessed it was because I was moving on from Edward, leaving him alone.

"I'm lending you one of my dresses." Alice said, case closed. "I'll come over to your house after school today. What time is Jacob picking you up?"

"Five-thirty."

"Ok. I'll be over sometime around five."

I rolled my eyes a little and leant my head on my hand. Edward sat stiff beside me, clearly irritated or annoyed. I stared at him in confusion, trying to figure out what the problem was. Everyone was doing the same.

We had biology next period, and Edward and I were alone.

"You're going out with Jacob Black tonight." Edward said curtly, staring at the whiteboard ahead of us.

"Yes," I stuck my chest out and tried to be brave. Like I didn't possess any doubt in my voice. Like I didn't care what he thought. "So what?"

"So… _why_?"

"Because I like him!" I was starting to get really angry. Why was he acting so immature about this? We were almost adults.

"Even though we only broke up last week." He nodded, with a sarcastic smile on his face. "Clearly, you're really shaken up."

"It was fake!" I exclaimed, a little too loud for the quiet classroom. Of course, the whole school already knew we had broken up, but it didn't matter. I didn't want them knowing anymore. "Why do you have a problem with me moving on?"

"Because he isn't right for you."

"I'm the judge of that, not you."

He huffed and turned away from me. For the rest of the period, he didn't look at me once. That didn't stop me from looking at him, of course. Though I had agreed to go out with Jacob, it didn't make Edward any less handsome.

I spent the rest of the day frowning. Edward being so immature and arrogant and just plain _idiotic_ had really gotten on my nerves. But why was he acting that way? He didn't feel anything for me. So why did it matter to him?

I consulted Alice that evening while she was fussing with my hair.

"Maybe it's because he does like you, but he just won't admit it." She explained, pulling a brush through my curls.

"Doubtful," I scoffed. "He told me himself he doesn't feel that way for me."

"Yeah, but he's not going to come right out and confess, right? He feels defeated. He's in denial. And let's face it… he hates himself." She said casually with a shrug.

"As much as I would want that…" I sighed. "It's not possible. Sadly."

I felt like I had just been hit in the head with my own realization. The boy I loved didn't love me back, and never would. Especially now that I'm chasing after some other guy. Or, he's chasing me.

"He'll come around, Bella." Alice assured me. She finished my hair and told me to change into the dress she brought over. It was a short black dress, classic and casual. I actually didn't mind it too much. "He said he's going out tonight. But he would say who with."

"Oh yeah?" I tried to hide my disappointment. "Like… with a girl?"

"Oh no. He doesn't pay attention to other of the girls _anywhere._" She rolled her eyes. "I think he's gay." She giggled.

"He's not," I shook my head. "Trust me."

Alice laughed and ran to grab her mascara. She then ran back and began applying it to my face. "Did he mention anything this afternoon?"

"No. We didn't really… talk much. I think he hates me now. More than he already did."

"What happened?"

"Well…" I explained everything for her, from his icy tone to full out ignoring me. She nodded and scowled at most of it, but seemed pretty thoughtful. "So we didn't end on a happy note."

"He's just jealous!" She stepped back to admire my dress. She nodded to herself and grabbed my only purse from the hook on the wall. "And all that stuff he said about you guys just breaking up? Yeah, it's an excuse for you to change your mind. But you didn't. In a way… that's kind of a good thing."

She suddenly snapped her fingers, an idea coming to her head. "I know _exactly_ what we can do!"

"About what?"

"Bella…" She put her hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes. "We're going to make Edward love you."

I stared at her blankly. "We're… we're what?"

"I'm going to make Edward fall in love with you." She repeated slowly for me, the words already circulating in my head.

"But… I'm about to go out with Jacob…"

"Yes. And that's part of the plan! Make it seem like you didn't care what happened between you two. That you're over it, and you have moved on. It will drive him crazy, even if he doesn't love you yet!" She jumped away from me and clapped her hands. "This is going to be amazing! And we'll get Jasper and Emmett to help. They would love to!"

To be honest, the idea kind of excited me. I didn't want to force myself on Edward, but at the same time, I really, really did. Alice's idea sounded a little evil, but I knew there was no possibility of it working.

"Alice, he won't do that. He won't fall in love with me… it's impossible." I said with a half hearted shrug. I now felt even grumpier than before.

"Don't be so sure. I have excellent match making expertise." She grinned and me and winked. "Trust me. Now, you go outside and wait for Jacob, while I go home and begin to plan! I'll call you tonight!"

I followed her downstairs and watched as she darted into her car. She quickly drove away, and I sat on my porch steps to wait for Jacob.

No sooner than five minutes later, he pulled up and jogged to me. "Hey, Bella!"

"Hi Jake." He pulled me into a hug. He was wearing dark jeans and a flannel t-shirt. When I hugged him, I knew he was wearing cologne – it was very strong. I found it a little cute.

"Ready to go?" He took my hand and led me to his Rabbit.

"Sure am."

We drove to Port Angeles, listening to the radio in the car. He told me about his day today, and I told him about mine. I left out the part about Edward being immature, not wanting to spoil the night by complaining about my ex.

"What movie are we seeing?" I asked, as we pulled up in front of the cinema.

Jacob grinned. "A horror movie. It's called _My Valentine._"

I smiled. Horror movies weren't my favorite thing, but I knew he loved them. He took my hand and pulled me to the ticket booth, where he bought my ticket for me along with some popcorn and two sodas. We sat in the empty theatre, waiting for the movie to start.

"Did I tell you you look really pretty?" His teeth practically glowed in the dim lighting.

"Only about twenty times." I laughed quietly. "But thank you. You look pretty nice yourself."

"Thanks," He rested his hand on the arm rest in between us. He looked at me with sparkling eyes, and with a silent sigh, I put my hand in his. I wasn't sure why, but I felt a little uncomfortable sitting like this. I didn't want to say anything in case I hurt his feelings.

The movie began, and jumped straight into violence and killing. When I started to feel nauseous from all the blood, I looked around the (what I thought was) empty cinema. There was a person sitting a few rows behind us, wearing a baseball cap.

_Why would you wear a baseball cap inside a movie theatre?_ I thought to myself, and turned back to the screen. Jake was laughing next to me.

"What's so funny?" I whispered.

"This movie is just… well, it's terrible!" He broke into a round of silent laughter, and I couldn't help but join in with him. The movie was pretty unrealistic. "I'm regretting picking something a little more romantic."

I bit my lip, glad he didn't. That would be too painful, seeing happy couples. Not when I knew the person I was once coupled with would never _really _love me.

To pass the time, I watched the person in the baseball cap out of the corner of my eye. He had a straight nose under the cap, and messy hair sticking out from underneath. His hair looked a deep brown, but I couldn't be sure in this light. He caught me staring a few times, and quickly looked away from me.

Soon, the movie ended. Jacob stood up and shook himself out, winding an arm around my shoulders and walking with me outside.

"Well, that was fun," He laughed sarcastically. "A bad horror movie. What could be better?"

I laughed and shoved my arms through my cardigan. It had gotten pretty chilly while we were in the cinemas, but having Jake's arm around me made me a little warmer.

To my horror, he took me to the same Italian restaurant Edward had taken me to. I saw the table we sat at, and my heart lurched to a stop. I had to take deep breaths before I finally was able to speak again.

We got led to a table on the other side of the restaurant, thank God. As soon as we sat down we ordered cokes and bread sticks.

"So, Bella." Jacob asked, leaning his arms onto the table. "How's that jerk you once called a boyfriend?"

I frowned. "He's… fine."

"He wouldn't be fine if you let me teach him a lesson," Jake scoffed and looked away from me. "If only I—"

"Jake," I closed my eyes for a moment, almost fighting tears. I reopened them and stared Jacob in the eye. "Can we please not talk about him. Not tonight."

Jacob's eyes softened and he sighed deeply. "Sorry. He just… really annoys me."

Our cokes came, and we both sipped them. I nibbled on a bread stick, suddenly not very hungry. I was looking around the restaurant when I noticed something – a red baseball cap.

It was the guy from the cinema!

He held his menu close to his face, so this time I couldn't see his face at all. Only his bright red cap.

"… so then Quil asked his cousin to prom this year. Isn't that a joke?" Jacob said, and I turned back to him. I had completely zoned out, but I laughed anyway.

"Funny," I mumbled, forcing a smile for him. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the guy in the baseball cap. Not for a second.

Our waiter came, and I ordered Spaghetti Bolognese and Jacob ordered Fettuccini Carbonara.

"Is there anything else I can get you?" The waiter asked me, raising an eye brow with a teasing smile on his face. "Like… my phone number?"

"In case you haven't noticed," Jacob leaned over and tugged my hand towards him. "She's here with me."

"Ok." The waiter just said with a curt nod. He started to walk away, but just before he did, he shot me a flirtatious wink. I blushed.

"Jerk," Jacob snarled at him, letting go of my hand. I needed to shake it out – it had started turning red. Had he been holding it that hard? "Sorry."

I looked over at the guy in baseball cap. He now had his pale hands clenched on the table, and his shoulders were hunched. What was with this guy?

"Hey," I nodded over towards him. Jacob turned around and stared at him. "He was seeing our movie."

"Really? I didn't notice." Jake chuckled and leaned closer to me. "Maybe it was because I had a beautiful girl sitting next to me."

I flushed again and peeked at him through my lashes. His grin widened on his face. "You're so cute when you do that."

Our food came within twenty minutes, and we quickly ate. I wasn't that hungry, but Jacob sure was. He ate his own pasta and then when I was done he finished off mine. It was starting to get late, so he towed me to the Rabbit. One moment we were driving down the highway, and the next moment we were at my house.

"Did I fall asleep?" I mumbled, wiping my eyes.

"Sure did. You're a talker, too." He smiled and got out of the car. We both walked to the door, and leaned against the porch railing.

"What'd I say?" I narrowed my eyes and tried to hide the panic in my voice.

He shrugged. "Nothing much." He said quickly. "I'd better let you go inside."

A Porsche suddenly drove past us. Bright red. I had seen it around town once before, but I couldn't pick who it belonged to. It drove past my house, the person inside wearing some sort of hat.

"Night, Jacob." I smiled at him and started to walk towards my door. Jacob caught my wrist and pulled me back, crushing me to his chest and burying in his nose in my hair.

"Night, Bells." He pulled away from me and planted a kiss, just beside my lips. I wasn't sure he was suppose to kiss my cheek or my lips, but he hit some spot in between. "I'll call you tomorrow."

I nodded and unlocked my door. He made sure I got inside before going back to the Rabbit and driving away.

"How'd it go?" Charlie yelled from the kitchen. He was buried in the fridge, obviously looking for something.

"Fine," I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water. "What are you looking for?"

"Ice cream." He responded with a devious grin. When he smiled like that, he looked ten years younger.

"Ice cream is kept in the freezer, Dad," I laughed and left my glass in the sink. Charlie '_aah_ed' and started searching through the freezer.

I went straight upstairs and called Alice.

"Finally! I thought you were never going to call!" Alice gushed as soon as I dialed her number. She was obviously waiting by the phone. "How'd it go?"

"Yeah, not too bad." I nodded and started to change out of my dress.

"Did he kiss you?"

"On my cheek. Sort of."

Alice giggled. "Weird. So, while you were out, I have conjured a plan."

"Oh," I asked, a little in surprise. I had forgotten about this until she just mentioned it. "Alice, I'm not sure it's a very good idea—"

"What's the harm?" She asked carelessly. "Seriously, if it works, great, if it doesn't, so what? You tried, right?"

"I guess… hey, speaking of Edward, is he home yet?"

"Oh," She seemed distracted for a few moments. "He just walked in the door." She called to him, and I thought I heard his voice in the background. "Why the hell are you wearing that _God_ awful red baseball cap!"

I laughed. Only Alice would yell at him for something like th—

Red baseball cap?

"Anyway, where were we?" Alice asked. "Oh, the plan. Well, I decided—"

"Did you just say Edward was wearing a red baseball cap?" I didn't want to interrupt her, but I just had to. I needed to know if it was Edward that followed us from the cinema to the restaurant.

"Yeah. It looks terrible!" She giggled. "Why does it matter?"

"Because, on my date, some guy in a red baseball cap followed us from the cinema to the restaurant."

"No!" She gasped in surprise. I hoped Edward couldn't hear. "You don't think… ?"

"I have no idea. But how many guys do you see wearing red baseball caps into movie theatres? Not many." I laughed darkly. "Would he do that?"

"If he was jealous… then, yes."

I shook my head. Maybe I had seen wrong. It probably wasn't him at all. Why would he follow us so closely? He didn't care. Or did he?

"We have to discuss this tomorrow. But for now, I must explain the plan." Alice said with a deep breath. "Ok. Step 1: Make him jealous over your relationship with Jacob."

"And how would I go about that?"

"Well… tomorrow, just keep on going on about how great your date was. Be telling Emmett, Jasper and I how sweet Jacob is and how much of a gentlemen he was. Edward will _hate_ it." My mouth fell open. "And tell us you can't wait to go out with him again, and that you want him to meet Charlie… as your boyfriend"

"Alice…" I started to panic a little. "This won't work. He'll see right through me."

"He won't. I've been talking to Emmett and Jasper, and they've agreed to help us out. They think Edward does at least _like_ you, somewhere deep down. And they really want him to find a girlfriend, namely you."

I chuckled. "Ok. Fine. Does this start tomorrow?"

"Yep. I'll call you tomorrow with Step 2."

"Night, Alice."

"Bye, Bella!"

I hung up the phone and sat it on my nightstand. I felt like I was in a state of shock – how was I going to do this? I was a terrible actor. How was I going to pretend like my relationship with Jacob was so much better than my relationship with him was? It was impossible.

But he pretended to love me. He pretended and acted like he cared about me. So… couldn't I do the same thing, just reversed?

I went to bed thinking, just like I often do these days. My last thought was… how the _hell _was I going to do this?

x-x-x-x

When the Volvo pulled up in front of my house the next morning, I was surprised to only see Alice in the front seat. Where was Edward?

I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice. "Where's Edward?"

"It's nice to see you too, Bell," Alice joked, and pulled out of my driveway. "I told him he was going to ride with Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper today. They're taking Rose's Porsche. It's so red it could stop traffic." She chuckled at her own joke.

Red Porsche. Now, why is that familiar…

"So… you have to tell me everything that happened last night. In detail. Including everything about the mysterious guy with the red baseball cap." She winked.

So, I gave her every little detail that had happened last night. I didn't skip anything, glad to get it off my chest. Alice gasped in surprise when I explained about the red baseball cap following us around; and I knew she had come to one conclusion—Edward had been spying.

"And then, this bright red Porsche was driving around my street right until Jacob left. Isn't that—"

I stopped mid sentence. Rosalie's red Porsche. Could Edward have used it for the night? So I wouldn't recognize his car?

"Holy shit, Bella," Alice cursed, which she had never done. "That was Rosalie's car. Edward was using Rosalie's car to watch you guys!"

"I know," I mumbled, as we pulled up into the school parking lot. And there, just like I expected, was the same red Porsche that had stalked me last night.

Alice and I shook our heads.

"Hey Bello!" Emmett pulled me in for a vice-tight hug. He winked at me before saying, "How'd the date go?"

"Really good," I hoped my smile was convincing. "Absolutely fantastic."

Jasper and Alice smirked at me, so I knew I had done a good job.

First, second, and third period flew by. My mind was circulating things to say to Edward, with the help of Jasper, Emmett and Alice.

At lunch, Edward sat beside me. He's barely said a word to me all day.

"So, what'd you guys do on your date?" Alice asked, as if she doesn't already know. How does she act so well?

"Well," I grinned widely. "We went to see that new horror movie. I have to say, I was jumping in my seat every five seconds! But Jacob held onto my hand, so I felt so much better." I snuck a peek at Edward, who was scowling. "Then, we went to dinner and shared two dishes."

"That's adorable!" Alice squealed, clapping her hands. "Then what? Did you just come home?"

"Yeah. He dropped me off." I looked into space, as if I were day dreaming. "He is so sweet."

"Sounds like you're head over heels," Jasper asked, raising an eye brow. His lips turned up in a devious smile.

I thought about how head over heels I was with Edward, hoping for a believable blush to form on my face. I was putting more effort into this than I intended.

"I take by her blush, that's a yes," Emmett laughed.

"I'm sorry, he's just… such a gentlemen!" I gushed. I didn't sound anything like myself.

Edward's fists were clenching open and closed on the table, just like he was in the restaurant. He looked mad, but was it because I was gushing like a school girl?

I saw Alice looking at him with a smile. She then turned back to me and asked, "So… do you think he's ready?"

"I do," I nodded. This was one of the plans we had worked out in between second and third period.

"Ready for what?" Edward asked, his voice stunning me.

"To… um…" I had lost my train of thought for a second. "Have dinner with my dad. Just the three of us. So I can… so I can finally tell Charlie that Jacob is my official boyfriend."

"Oh?" Edward's mouth almost hit the floor.

Alice, Emmett and Jasper grinned widely. This was exactly the reaction they were hoping for. I was suddenly filled with confidence to continue.

"Even Charlie wanted to have dinner with him. He insisted on just two on two, so they could talk about the _future,_" I waved my hand, knowing I was laying it on thick. But what could be the harm?

"Oh my God!" Alice started clapping. "Our little Bella is in love!"

Rosalie looked ecstatic from where I was sitting; there was a wide grin on her face, as if she were in on our plan. I think she was just happy to know that I wasn't chasing after Edward anymore. If only she knew…

"So, are you going out with him again?" Jasper asked once they had finally stopped grinning.

"Yes. Soon, I hope," I sighed.

"Well, that's just great, isn't Edward? Isn't it just _great_?" Emmett was taunting Edward, leaning closer to him and nudging his shoulder.

"Yeah, it's great. I'm happy for you, Bella." He forced me a smile, his fists still clenched.

Alice looked at me and winked. So, I had done ok.

But next was the harder challenge… _Biology._

"Hey, Bella, would you please join me in the bathroom?" Alice asked, getting up and pulling me behind her before I had even agreed. I followed. We made sure there was no one in there before we started talking. "That was perfect!"

"You think? I wasn't laying it on too thick?"

"No, definitely not! He was going insane!"

We both laughed.

"So. Step 2." Alice began, moving closer to me so she could whisper. "Now, you have to make it look like you don't care. When he talks to you, answer him, but don't act like you've put a lot of thought into it. Just shrug, smile a little, but never act like you're concerned. Ok?"

"Um, Alice… I'm not sure if I can do that…" Whenever I was talking to him, I always felt the need to make him feel like I really _did_ care. No matter what he was saying, I hung on his every word.

"If you can do what we just did, then you can do this." Alice took hold of my shoulders. "Do you love him?"

"Yes."

"And do you want him to love you back?"

"Yes!"

"Then you can do this." She pushed away from me and took my hand .She towed me back through the halls to the cafeteria, and we sat down again. Emmett and Jasper looked at us with raised eye brows, trying to determine what we had just been discussing. Alice nodded at them, signally she'd tell them later.

"So, Edward, what'd you do last night?" Emmett asked conversationally, leaning towards Edward. "Anything… interesting?"

"Not really, Emmett." Edward's eyes were focusing on his fists.

"Nothing… sneaky?"

I had to hold in my giggles.

"Eh… no…" Edward frowned at him.

"See any… movies?" Emmett asked, raising his eye brows but keeping his smile intact.

"Not lately, why?"

"Just wondering. Because there's that new horror that Jacob and Bella saw." Emmett looked at me. "They thought it was good. So… maybe we should see that?"

"I've seen it." Edward said quickly and curtly. Then, he stood up and grabbed his bag. "The bell is about to go. Let's get to biology, Bella."

I nodded and stood up, just as the bell rang. We all got up and headed our separate ways, Alice sending me warning looks. Then, she disappeared around the corner.

"Glad to hear you had a good time last night, Bella." Edward said, taking his seat at our usual table. I sat next to him and shrugged. "Jacob sounds like a good guy."

"He is." I pretended like I was extra focused on getting the books out of my bag.

"And you want to go out with him again sometime?" He asked, raising an eye brow. If I looked at him now, I knew I would lose my train of thought.

"Yes. Maybe this weekend."

Edward sat back in his chair, clearly frustrated. He folded his arms and looked at the teacher enter the classroom, and then continued to question me. "You seem to really like him."

"Yeah, I do." I snuck at peek at him through the corner of my eye.

"Well…" He hesitated. "I'm glad you moved on from, you know…"

I raised my head so I could stare him in the eye. I was determined to show him that I _could_ do this. I wasn't weak. "Yeah, me too. Really happy."

He nodded and remained silent. I tried to calm my breathing, seeing as I had started to hyperventilate. I hated being rude to him. In fact, I hated being rude to anyone, but especially him. It physically hurt me.

After half an hour of sitting in silence, I took a deep breath. I was going against the plan, but I just had to ask. "Why did you follow us?"

"Hmm?" He tilted his head to the side. It looked like he had fallen asleep in class.

"Why. Did. You. Follow us." I said, slowly, watching his face change from drowsiness to being startlingly alert.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He stared intensely at me.

"Like hell you don't. You told Alice you were going out last night, and that's where you went. You were sitting in the cinema with us, and then you were at the restaurant. At the end you used Rosalie's car to circle my street."

He shook his head. "Bella, I think you have the wrong guy."

"I do not have the wrong guy." I clenched my teeth together, suddenly infuriated. A thousand questions flew through my head – Why was he lying to me? Why couldn't he just tell me the truth, and be done with it? Why can't be just have a normal friendship, like he did with Emmett of Jasper?

"Trust me, I know it was you." I backtracked when I realized how stalker-ish that could sound. When I looked up at him, he was watching me. Not frowning or scowling like usual. Just watching. "You know what? Whatever. Just don't follow us again."

I realized I had been totally going against Alice's master plan. I had just practically given a speech – I was supposed to be short and unresponsive. Well… that definitely did not go how I'd first hoped.

The school day quickly ended, and Alice and Edward dropped me home. Alice promised she'd be calling later, which made me a little nervous. Would Edward tell her about our conversation today?

I went straight upstairs and started my homework, hoping to take my mind off this whole ridiculous situation. But I was finished within half an hour, and my mind was struggling to find a distraction.

Jacob. Of course. Jacob was my ultimate distraction.

I quickly dialed his number and put the phone to my ear. "Hey Jake."

"Bella! Hi!" He sounded so excited to see me, and the grin spread across the face just like I'd hoped. "What's up?"

"Not much… just thought I'd give you a call."

"Do you know when we can go out again?" He asked, "Cause… well, I can't wait."

"Me either, Jake," My voice softened at the nervousness in his usually confident voice. "What do you want to do?"

"There's this crazy thing we do down here at the rez," Jacob's voice went from anxious to excited in seconds. I knew whatever he was talking about meant a lot to him. "It's called cliff jumping."

"Cliff jumping?" I could already feel the adrenalin pumping through my veins just at the mention of something that sounded so exhilarating. "That sounds like fun. Is it dangerous?"

"Not if you jump on a good day, and start from the low cliffs." He said. "I'm sure I can keep you safe. We'll be jumping together, never alone."

"Yeah, that sounds great. This weekend?"

"Sure!" Jacob grinned. "I'll have to check the weather. But I'll pick you up at ten, ok?"

"Ok." I smiled. I loved spending time with Jacob – he really did take my mind off the whole Edward situation. "I'll see you then."

"See ya Bells."

I hung up the phone and left it on my bed. I went into the bathroom to shower, but that ended all too quickly. What was I supposed to do now, that I didn't have any more distractions?

Just as I had that last thought, as if on cue, my phone started to ring, flashing _ALICE _across the screen. I loved talking to my best friend, but our topic of choice wasn't usually a pleasant one.

I answered my phone. "Hey Alice."

"Jeez, Bella, don't _explode_ with enthusiasm, or anything." She scoffed, but then she instantly perked up. "So… how did today go?"

"Fine." I shrugged, falling onto my bed and crawling under the covers. I let out a sigh, not being able to avoid Edward and I's tense conversation from today. "Alice, in biology, I confronted Edward about the stalking thing."

"Oh?" She said. "What'd he say?"

"He denied it, of course." I clenched my fists around my blankets, angry just thinking about it. "He said I had the wrong guy, but he didn't look angry or nervous or anything."

"Ooh," Alice mumbled. "He's good. You can tell he's my brother."

I laughed. "It kind of threw me off, and I screwed up. Sorry."

"He's playing you," Alice sounded like she was strategizing behind the phone. "He's obviously trying to make it seem like he didn't, which is a no brainer. But he's acting like he doesn't care, as well. He's doing exactly the same thing you are."

"Ok… so that leaves me… ?"

"It _leaves_ you having to try harder. I want you to seem… irresistible, in a way." She mused. "Like, 'You can't touch this' kinda thing. He's still trying to make it up to you after what happened, so he will get irritated when you don't talk to him."

"I'm not going to… talk to him?" I scoffed. "Alice, now _that _is impossible!"

"It's not that hard!" She retorted. "I mean, I think you've been way too easy on him lately. You should be mad. Pissed off. That's what I would do."

"I can't do this…" I put my head in my hand that wasn't holding the phone to my ear. "I'm going to cave, and then he will never like me."

"No you won't! I believe in you! Jasper and Emmett believe in you!" Her inspirational words didn't make me feel any more positive. "Well, they believe he likes you anyway. They say he's been staring at you a lot lately."

"Yeah, right."

"No, it's true. He told them Biology was his favorite subject."

I tried to hold in my giggles. "That's because he's good at biology."

"Noooo…" Alice teased. "It's because he has it alone! With you!"

I shook my head, and then I remembered she can't see me. "Alice, don't kid yourself…"

"I'm not. But look, there's something else. I want you to come over soon. We're all going to go to a party, and I'm going to—"

"Alice!" I was already freaking out as soon as she said 'party. "I can't go to a party!"

"Why not? You're gorgeous, Bella. You just need to learn to… use your assets." Alice giggled a little.

"No, Alice. No way."

"Yes way! No objections. We're going to a party next weekend, and I'm going to dress you up to look amazing, just for my brother." I was about to object, but she cut me off quickly. "Hush. So, have you made another date to go out with Jacob?"

"Yep. We're going cliff diving this weekend." I felt excited just talking about it.

"That sounds like fun." Alice shrilled. "Of course, after that happens, you'll have to gush about it at lunch. Again."

I sighed. "I know. Well, I'm tired, Alice. I'm going to go to bed."

"Night Bella! Oh, and Edward says goodnight."

I was suddenly flustered. "Oh… night, Edward."

I hung up the phone and fell back onto my bed. I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow.

School the next day was painful. Torturous, even. Edward greeted me warmly in the morning, but all I could say was a simple 'hi'. He tried to strike up conversation during lunch, but I hardly answered and gave him short, uninterested responses. But biology was the real challenge.

We were watching a video. He slid a note to me, but I just shook my head without looking at him. I saw him frown and pull it back, then try again a few minutes later. This pattern went on through the whole hour, which went excruciatingly slow. I felt so guilty I was itching to answer him and throw in a smile.

"Psst, Bella," Edward hissed, for the fifty second time today. Yes, I was counting.

I shook my head, and he sighed. _Now you decide to be all talkative? _

After school, Alice invited me over to initiate plan 'Gorgeous'. The party wasn't until next weekend, but she figured she had better start prepping now. Personally, I thought it was ridiculous. She was just going to have to do this all over again after I go cliff diving anyway.

"Alice," I grunted, as she tugged and pulls at my hair. "You're not making this easier," I lowered my voice to a whisper, "he's right in the next room."

"And your point is… ? He'll get to see you looking all beautiful."

I shot her a disapproving look.

"Ok, even _more_ beautiful than before." She rolled her eyes. "Now, look into the light so I can see your pretty little face clearly."

The next two hours were nothing but poking and prodding and pinching; straightening my hair, plucking my eye brows, rubbing in moisturizer to make my skin look more 'defined.' I was trying not to pout like a child, but I couldn't help it. I never really cared for my appearance, but the last few weeks have just made it worse.

"Here," Alice had disappeared and returned with three bags full of clothes. I could see everything – pants, shirts, blouses, shoes, underwear, jackets – and it all made me shudder. Who needs that many clothes?

"Why are you showing me your clothes, Alice," I laughed at her, shaking my head and secretly liking the feeling of my straightened hair on my back.

"They're not mine!" She chimed. "They're yours!"

I stared blankly at her for what seemed like forever.

"Alice… I have clothes."

"Yeah, I know, but I bought you _better_ clothes!" Her eyes were so bright and excited I could hardly say no to the little pixie. I took the bags off her and attempted a smile.

"Boy, thanks Alice… you didn't need to… ?" I shook my head in disbelief.

"Actually, I did." She beamed. "None of your clothes are revealing enough."

"My clothes are _fine!" _I exclaimed back at her with a scowl. "See, what I'm wearing looks good –" I stopped when I saw the look on her face. "Ok, maybe I'm not that much of a stylist…"

"No, you're not," She rolled her eyes and stood up on her toes to whisper in my ear. "I know what Edward likes on you, and I have recorded all your sizes so I can buy you anything I want. So…just trust me, and wear these clothes from now on. He'll love them!"

I frowned and sighed. There was no way I was going to win this. "Ok. Fine. You win. But I refuse to wear anything that makes me look like a tramp."

"I would never dress you like a tramp," She mumbled and pushed me towards the door. "Except when we're going clubbing, but—"

I cut her off when I ran into Edward.

"Bella," He smiled his lopsided smile as his eyes roamed over my face. I looked down self consciously, refusing to meet his eyes as the blush spread across my cheeks. "You look very nice."

"T-thanks," I grunted, making a bee line for the door. "I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Bella," Edward's voice sounded confused and bewildered from behind me.

I took off for my truck and jumped in before I could look back. I quickly started the engine and drove as fast as I could push my truck. I felt so embarrassed that Edward had seen me tonight – I was hoping to avoid him.

But there was one thing I hadn't seen in Edward's eyes since we had been friends. The way he looked at me just now was like he was looking into my soul; and he found exactly what he was looking for.

**Hope you liked (: it might have been a little boring, but the next few chapters will be more interesting. Please review! **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hiya! I was so happy with the response from the last chapter. I love to hear your thoughts and feelings on the happenings in this story. Keep the reviews coming, guys! (:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight :'(**

"You ready?"

Jacob grinned at me from the front seat of his Rabbit. He quickly ran his eyes over me, coming to a halt on my face so he could look into my eyes.

"If we die, I'm blaming you." I laughed at him as he started the car. "Are you sure this is safe?"

"It will be," Jacob started driving towards La Push. He took my hand in his on the seat, sending warmth radiating through my body. I closed my eyes, in love with the feeling.

"I won't let you get hurt, I promise." Jacob squeezed my hand.

In twenty minutes, Jacob was pulling into a dirty road on the outskirts of La Push. He parked under a huge Pine tree, and then got out of the car. I followed him, and he wrapped his hand around mine again. I felt less nervous in seconds.

"Ok," Jacob pulled me through the forest, pushing away branches and leaves so I wouldn't hurt myself. "Though I will keep you safe, you have to be really careful. There are sharp rocks down there, as well as the water current. I checked the weather today, and it's all good. But you still have to have your wits about you." 

I looked up at the sky. Though it was overcast today, the air was muggy and thick with moisture to the point that it was almost suffocating. I was so happy it wasn't raining I couldn't stop smiling.

"All right," He pulled one last branch away from me, and then I saw nothing but grey in the distance. There were no more trees or shrubs, only endless water and congested skies. "We're here."

We walked closer to the edge of the cliff, and looked down at the water. It seemed unusually calm, the water lapping over the rocks and making calming whooshing sounds. The wind was blowing hard, twisting my hair around my eyes. I didn't think wind was good for the currents, but I trusted Jacob.

When I looked over at Jacob, he had taken his shirt off. He wore long hanging board shorts and his feet were bare.

"Like what you see?" Jacob laughed warmly, pulling me close to his body.

"Uhh…" I couldn't answer. My words were stuck in my throat.

"Well, c'mon, get changed." He hugged me once and then let me go. I took off my jacket and my bracelets, revealing my light t-shirt and cotton shorts. I wasn't going to dive into the ocean in a bikini… no way.

"Alright," He quickly looked me up and down and then turned to face the cliffs. We started walking towards the edge, and my heart was racing in my chest.

"Bella!"

I could hear my name being called in the distance. Was it my name, or was I imagining things?

"Bella!"

Nope. It was definitely real. The voice was shockingly familiar, causing me to tense and my heart to race even faster in my chest.

And then Edward burst through the trees, his eyes wide and face pale.

"Edward? What are you doing here?" I watched him with curiosity and surprise as he bent over his knees, catching his breath.

"What the hell!" Jacob mumbled under his breath, shaking his head and pulling me close to his side. I struggled against him, trying to get to Edward. Though I was appalled and a little angry he was here, I wanted to make sure he was ok. "Why are you here?"

"You were about to let her jump off a cliff!" Edward shouted, walking closer to us and glaring at Jacob. "Are you trying to kill her, or something? Is this your idea of fun?"

"She wasn't going to die! I said I'd make sure she was safe!" Jacob yelled back, over the howling wind and crashing water. The sky was darkening, alerting me to the fact that it was going to rain very soon.

"And that makes it all better, because accidents never happen!" Edward yelled, with a roll of his eyes. "Don't you understand how dangerous this is! There's a storm coming, and you were about to have her jumping into the water! She could _drown_!"

"Edward," I stopped him before he started throwing punches. He looked angry enough. "Jacob wasn't going to let anything happen to me. I trust him."

"Well I don't," He ran his fingers through his hair and then glared at Jacob's arm around my waist. "That's it. I'm taking you home."

"No. I said she's staying here, and that's final!" Jacob held onto my wrist, as if I were a child.

"We're done here." Edward grabbed onto my other wrist, which had been resting on my hip. Edward and Jacob stared each other down, daring the other to make the first move.

"Both of you let go!" I pulled myself away from them, and they unwillingly let go of me. I stepped in between them, away from the cliffs, and tried not to meet their eyes. "Edward, you shouldn't have just turned up here, uninvited. And Jacob… ?" I couldn't find something to say that made any sense to anyone's ears but mine.

"I just came here to make sure you were ok, nothing else." Edward said, holding up his hands. The look in his eyes looked so sincere and caring and concerned I had trouble collecting my thoughts.

"That wasn't your right," Jacob pushed me behind him and jabbed his finger into Edward's chest. "You play her like a card, break her heart, and now you worried about whether she's ok?"

"I told her I was sorry," Edward's voice turned soft, but still managed to possess a threatening edge.

"And you think that makes it all better? Well, it doesn't. So stop trying and get the hell out of her life." Jacob retorted through his teeth, moving closer to Edward.

"That isn't your decision to make!" I interrupted their stare off again, wedging myself in between them. "Jacob, take me home. Edward, I don't want to see you right now."

Jacob and Edward nodded, and I stomped away from them. Let them kill each other. I hope Jacob throws Edward off a cliff.

I got to the car, my jacket and bracelets in hand, and practically ripped the door open. I got inside and slammed it shut. I was seeing red. My fists were balled and my teeth were clenched tightly shut.

Edward walked to his car and drove away. I watched after him with a sigh, regretting any bad thoughts I have ever had of him.

I was in too deep.

"Take me home, Jacob." I grumbled. He nodded and started the car.

After minutes of silence beside the rain hitting the metal frame of the car, Jacob turned to me. "Bella, I'm sorry."

I stared forward. "Whatever happened is in the past. I don't want to talk about it, I don't even want to think about it. So don't bother even trying."

We spent the rest of the ride home in silence. When I saw him turn into my street, I immediately started shaking my head. "I didn't want to come here. I meant the Cullen's house."

"That's not your home. This is your home."

"Just take me to the damn house, Jacob."

He nodded and pulled away from my street. I stiffly directed him to the Cullen driveway, and he let me out there. I grabbed my bag and my belongings and walked quickly through the rain without a goodbye.

Alice was waiting for me on the porch, her hand entwined with Jasper's.

"What—"

"I don't want to talk about it." I immediately snapped, collapsing onto the porch steps and putting my head in my hands. In truth, I did want to talk about it. I wanted to talk my heart out and make all my problems go away. But I couldn't. Because I knew they wouldn't.

"Edward arrived a few minutes ago, and he seemed upset." Alice sat down beside me and placed a hand on my shoulder. I noticed Jasper was now nowhere to be seen. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

I sighed. "Jacob and I were about to jump off the cliffs. Then Edward tore through the forest and started yelling at Jacob for taking me cliff diving. He said he was worried. How the hell could he be worried about me? He doesn't care. He just wants to please his parents and break my heart in the process."

"Oh Bella," Alice wrapped her arm around my shoulder and squeezed. "He does care. That's why he drove all the way out to La Push to check on you."

"No. He only wanted to make Jacob mad and me madder." I mumbled under my breath, shrugging her arm off me. I didn't want sympathy. Even if it was Alice's.

"Jasper has gone to talk to him." Alice said, trying to speak over the pelting rain and occasional jolts of thunder. "He'll figure out what's going on. Jasper is usually pretty good at distinguishing certain emotions." She hesitated before she talked again. "Do you still… ?"

"I can't just turn off loving him Alice. It can't be: 'Today, I'm going to not like him. And then tomorrow, I'll flick the switch and start loving him again.' It just doesn't work that way."

"I know…" She sighed. "But I thought…"

"Just because he's acting all…" I struggled to find a word that didn't start with 'j', because I knew he didn't feel that way. "Weird, doesn't mean I don't love him."

"He's acting all _jealous_, Bella, _jealous._" I cringed slightly at her words. "I told you. This is just the beginning. He'll get more and more angry to the point where he will just claim you as his own."

I liked the sound of that. A little too much. "Yeah. Right. Or he'll just kill Jacob and leave me in a heartbroken heap."

"He wouldn't do that to you," Alice whispered, resting her head on my shoulder. "I know my brother. If Carlisle and Esme ever found out about all this, they would give him a stern talking to. I've already given him about one hundred and ten lectures."

I laughed a little, a rain drop dripping off my nose and onto my legs.

"But I'm curious… why did you come here instead of going to your house?" Alice asked me.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I just feel more at home here."

"Even with Edward around?"

I nodded sadly.

"Oh, Bella, you're really stuck in it, aren't you?" Alice sighed and shook her head against my shoulder. "Good thing I'm a good therapist. Tell me your troubles, Miss Swan."

"Oh. Thanks. You think I need a therapist. I love you too, Al." We both laughed, and my anger had died down considerably. I still felt that knot in my stomach, but I felt less pinched.

"What are you girls doing out here?" Esme's voice sounded from behind us, and Alice and I both looked back. Esme stood on the porch, wearing an apron and carrying a spatula.

"We were just talking," Alice told her Mom, standing up and pulling me with her. "What cha' making?"

"Lunch. Burgers." Esme beamed at us. "Come inside, Bella. You're welcome to join us for lunch."

"I don't know…" I looked at Alice, thinking of nothing but Edward.

"He'll be in his room." Alice told me, hooking her arm through mine and starting to pull me inside. Esme shot us a strange look as we walked inside, but she seemed happy enough to let me eat with them.

"Hello, Bella," Carlisle greeted me warmly from the kitchen. "How are you?"

"Good thanks," I ran my fingers through my damp hair, trying to detangle it. "How about you? Sorry I haven't been around for awhile…"

He clearly understood. "No problem. We're glad to have you here now."

Alice and I sat at the kitchen table, where a salad was already placed. Jasper came downstairs, followed by Edward, and I think my heart almost stopped in my chest.

Edward stared at me, his eyes soft and pleading. He didn't speak a word, but only sat down across from me and folded his hands together. Jasper took the seat beside Alice and took her hand.

"Lunch is s—" Esme began, spinning around from the grill. Her eyes rested of Edward and I. "Oh, hello Edward. I didn't think you'd be downstairs for lunch."

"I heard Bella would be here and I didn't want to miss it." He answered her, not taking his eyes off me. I looked down at the wooden table.

"Oh…" Esme placed an already-made beef burger in front of me and smiled.

"Thank you." I forced a smile back at her and picked at the bun on my plate.

"So, Bella," Carlisle said cheerfully, once everyone was seated. The table looked unusually empty without Rosalie and Emmett. "What have you been up to today?"

I almost choked on my burger. "Umm… actually, I've been down at La Push."

"Oh," Carlisle nodded his head. Alice, Jasper and Edward were all keeping their heads down, avoiding the adult's eyes. "Why were you down there?"

"Seeing a friend." I said, and my voice broke on the last word. I flushed a deep red and focused on eating.

"Do I know them?"

"Jacob Black."

Carlisle shook his head and looked at Esme. "Do you know them?"

"No." Esme was also shaking her head. She still looked a little shocked seeing Edward sitting at the table with them. Was he really that antisocial at home? I sure hoped not.

We ate the rest of the meal in silence, except for Jasper asking Edward to pass the sauce or the salad. There was tension in the air– I didn't need any special powers to figure that out. Edward hardly took his eyes off me the whole time, which made me feel self conscious. What was so interesting as to make him watch me so intently?

We eventually finished lunch and Alice offered that I stay over. I politely declined, telling her I needed to cook for Charlie tonight. The real reason was that I couldn't take Edward's staring anymore.

"I'll drive you home," Alice stood up and placed her napkin over her leftover food.

"I'll do it." Edward blurted out. "I'll take her home, I mean."

Alice looked down at me, questioning with her eyes. I stood up to face her, and with a sigh, I nodded. This did not go unnoticed by Carlisle and Esme – they frowned at the three of us, clearly confused.

"C'mon, Bella." Edward stood up and headed towards the door. I followed him after collecting my jacket and backpack.

By now, Alice's plan was totally forgotten. I didn't realize I wasn't supposed to be talking to him, or whatever else I was doing. I was just focused on getting home and crawling into bed so I could cry.

The car ride home was silent, until Edward pulled into the driveway behind Charlie's cruiser.

"Bella, please talk to me. You know I'm sorry." He turned to me with sparkling green eyes that were filled with concern.

I had to look away so I wouldn't get caught up. "You have to stop following me when I'm with Jacob. You lied to me, remember? You shouldn't care who I date. Not that it's any of your business, anyway. You're supposed to be my friend, not like some sort of over protective father."

"I know, and I'm sorry." He spoke so fast I barely caught him. "I'm just worried about Jacob. He doesn't seem right for you. You deserve better than him, and I should know. You deserve better than both of us _combined_. I…"

"You can't decide what I do," I whispered, my voice echoing throughout the whole car though I was whispering. "You and Jacob can try and dictate how I live my life, but it isn't your choice, or Jake's. It's mine."

"I know, and I'm not denying that. I shouldn't have treated you the way I did before, and I've accepted that our friendship may never be… _normal_. But I still worry about you, Bella. You were my best friend, and sometimes you still are. I don't want you to get hurt again." His was talking with his hands, which made it harder for me to focus. I remembered when he used to hold my hand…

"Jake won't hurt me." I spoke louder, trying to convince myself. "I like him. And whatever you say or do isn't going to change that."

I pulled the door open and stepped out into the rain. Just before I was about to close the door, Edward called out my name.

"Yes?"

He leant over the console so our faces were only inches apart. My breathing became ragged in seconds.

"Please, just consider this. What if he hurts you like I did? What will happen then? You'll go back to Phoenix. None of us want you to leave. So please… avoid the evitable before you get hurt."

I just shook my head and slammed the car door on him.

I went straight up to my room without saying a word to Charlie. Jacob called me, and apologized. I accepted his apology, though I knew it wasn't his fault. It was Edward's. But it was also my own. Hell, I knew it was all me. I just didn't want to admit it to myself.

"Dad, would you mind calling a pizza?" I asked my Dad, once dinner rolled around. I wasn't hungry, and I didn't feel like cooking.

"Sure, Bells," Charlie nodded at me and grabbed another beer from the fridge. "You ok?"

"I'm fine. I've just had a bit of a rough day," I shook my head.

"Oh… uh… do you want to talk about it?" Charlie awkwardly started shuffling his feet and rubbing the back of his head.

"No, I'd rather not." I walked upstairs and shut my door. I collapsed onto my bed and ran my fingers through my still-damp hair, reminding me that I should really take a shower.

I quickly grabbed my bag of toiletries and sleepwear and then headed into the bathroom. My shower didn't last longer enough, and soon I was left standing in the middle of my room.

I hadn't intended to be home tonight, so I had nothing to distract me like I usually did. I had finished all my homework the night before, and no book or music can keep me entertained at a time like this.

My phone chimed from its place on my bed. I had a text from Alice.

**U ok, Bells? A x **

I sighed and typed back,

**Im fine. Just need some time to think.. B x **

I then shut off my phone and crawled into a ball on my bed.

I hadn't realized how close I had come this afternoon to telling Edward I loved him. My mind had barely had the thought, but I expected that; my mouth often talked without my brain's consent when I was around him. I deliberated the pros and cons of telling him, or not telling him – the pros, being, if he somehow felt the same way for me, he would know I returned the feelings. The cons – he could become disgusted with me and refuse to talk with me again.

My subconscious had already decided it was best not to tell him. Ever. Or, at least until I knew he loved me back.

Which I didn't, because he never would.

No matter what Alice told me about 'he loves you but doesn't know it', I refused to let myself get my hopes up. Edward just always so hot and cold – sometimes he seemed like he actually cared, and other times he looked like he couldn't give a damn. It confused me and made me emotionally unstable – my hopes would soar and then plummet.

My heart must be so confused. I wouldn't be surprised if it had a huge crack down the middle, but was slowly getting stitched together. The stitches were Jake. He made me feel better when I was with him, but in the back of my mind I still worried. The moment I was alone, just like this, I quickly became unhappy. I was glad that Edward and I were friends, but the obvious rejection I felt never ceased.

I thought of a song I had heard on the radio the other day. The moment I heard it, I had to pull over so I could bury my face in my hands. Each lyric was sad but true. Almost too true… I think I remembered how it went…

_You took my hand__  
__You showed me how__  
__You promised me you'd__ b__e around__  
__Uh huh__  
__That's right___

_I took your words__  
__and I believed__  
__In everything__  
__You said to me__  
__Yeah huh__  
__That's right___

_If someone said three years from now__  
__You'd be long gone__  
__I'd stand up and punch them up__  
__Cause they're all wrong__  
__I know better__  
__Cause you said forever__  
__And ever__  
__Who knew___

_Remember when we were such fools__  
__And so convinced and just too cool__  
__Oh no__  
__No no__  
__I wish I could touch you again__  
__I wish I could still call you friend__  
__I'd give anything___

_When someone said count your blessings now__  
__For they're long gone__  
__I guess I just didn't know how__  
__I was all wrong__  
__They knew better__  
__Still you said forever__  
__And ever__  
__Who knew___

_Yeah yeah__  
__I'll keep you locked in my head__  
__Until we meet again__  
__Until we__  
__Until we meet again__  
__And I won't forget you my friend__  
__What happened___

_If someone said three years from now__  
__You'd be long gone__  
__I'd stand up and punch them out__  
__Cause they're all wrong and__  
__That last kiss__I'll cherish__  
__Until we meet again__  
__And time makes__  
__It harder__  
__I wish I could remember _

_But I keep__your memory__  
__you visit me in my sleep…_

I couldn't think the words anymore. The tears were still streaming down my face, and my chest ached. I pictured Edward in my head and let out a sob. Then, I pictured Jacob's face in my head, and the sobbing became more frequent.

I was playing Jacob. I knew I was. I hadn't realized it until just now – I knew I liked Jacob. _That_ part I wasn't lying about. But saying I wanted to be with him and spend time with him was the real lie. I loved Jacob like a brother. And nothing more. I couldn't find it in my heart to tell him. How was I ever going to admit I was in love with the boy who broke my heart, so therefore we could never be together? It was the hardest thing I had ever had to do, but I knew it had to be done.

It would spoil Alice's whole plan. But what was I supposed to do? – This problem wouldn't go away on its own, so I had to end it. It might cost me a friend, but it's better than leading him on and then hurting him later.

I decided I'd tell him tomorrow afternoon. I would go see him, seeing as a break up over the phone was just cruel. I hoped he wasn't too into me so there was a chance we could still be friends.

The next day, I awoke feeling grumpy. It wasn't because I had gotten hardly any sleep last night, or woken up ridiculously early. It was because I had nothing to do today. Well, besides telling Jacob I couldn't see him anymore. That was something, right?

I spent the morning doing laundry and cleaning my room. It made me a little less gloomy – finding things I had forgotten I had generally made me happier. I found the key ring Renee had sent me from Mexico, when she and Phil had gone on a second honeymoon. I also found the birthday card Alice had made for me on my sixth birthday. All the things made me feel better, but worse, at the same time.

The afternoon was fast approaching, and I was yet to get the guts to get into my truck and drive to La Push. To break up with my best friend.

_You are such a coward,_ the little voice echoed in my head. _Just go and do it. Tell him and end this before someone else gets hurt. _

The crazy voice in my head was right. Somehow, I found the motivation to go downstairs and out the door. Just before I pulled the handle open of the truck, there was a loud bang. I gasped.

"Edward!" My eyes went wide.

He had been standing against my truck for who knows how long. How had I not noticed him?

"Hello Bella," He smiled at me and adjusted his position against the cab so his back was pressed against it. "I came to check on you."

"Check on me? Why?"

"Like I said, I worry about you."

I looked away and pulled my jacket closer to my body. I folded my arms and forced myself to look at him without being dazzled. "Why would you be worried?"

"You seemed extremely upset yesterday," He answered simply. "Are you mad at me?"

_No, you imbecile, I love you._

"Why wouldn't I be?" I failed to say this with enough venom in my tone. I probably sounded like a kitten trying to be a tiger. "You spoiled Jacob and I's date."

"I told you I was sorry."

"I know."

We stood in silence for a few minutes. I considered lying and telling him I was going on a make-up date with Jacob right now. But I knew he would have seen right through me. I was putty in his manipulative hands.

"Where are you going?" He eventually asked.

It was as if he could read my mind.

I sighed. "I'm going… to… La Push."

Edward's eyes went from amused to furious in seconds. "Oh? And why are you going there?"

"I'm going to see Jacob." I clenched my teeth together and tried to seem brave. I stuck out my chin to show him I wasn't going to back down to him.

"I know _that_," Edward growled at me, then composed himself when he caught the look on my face. "I meant, what are you two going to be doing there."

"That's none of your concern!" I yelled a little too loud for my quiet street. Everything from last night suddenly exploded out of my mouth, and I couldn't control it. "Why the hell would you freaking care what I do? First, you totally ignore me and act like a downright bastard. And then, you pretend to love me and lead me on like I'm some kind of dog on a leash. And _now_, you follow me and my boyfriend around! What the hell is your problem? Are you just being the idiot we all know you are, or are you a_ctually _pretending to care?"

The words stung my throat. By the look on his face, I knew they stung his heart. His mouth was hanging open and his eyes seemed vacant, like he was having some sort of distance thought. A wave of guilt swept over me, almost knocking me over.

"Look," Edward told me, walking closer and bowing his head so it was in line with mine. "When you first came to Forks, I _hated _you. I wanted you to leave. Then, when I pretended to date you, I realized you weren't as bad a person as I thought you were. I agreed to be friends with you, and you accepted even though you knew damn well what I had done. I did this because I wanted to see if you cared for me like we used to care for each other as children."

He took a deep breath, and I held my breath, waiting for him to continue.

"I follow you because I'm trying to hold on to what I thought we had. A friendship. And though it may seem like you hate me sometimes, I know that you do care for me like I now care for you. You're my friend and I care for you like I do Rosalie. If she were dating some dodgy guy from the reservation, I would follow her too."

My hand was frozen against my truck's door handle. I committed every one of his words to memory, so I could examine it later.

His words made me a little disappointed. I was hoping he would admit to following me because he felt something for me – but that was only in my dreams. The possibility of that was unlikely.

"I'm going to break up with Jacob." Once again, my mouth was operating before my bran gave permission.

He blinked. "You're what?"

I sighed. "I'm going to La Push… to tell Jacob we can't see each other anymore."

Edward's position loosened up considerably. He pushed off my truck and stuffed his hands into his pocket. "Oh… well… I guess… that's a good thing?"

"No, it's not _good._ It's upsetting." I threw him a glare and then pulled my door open. I was about to jump in when he put a hand on my shoulder.

"I apologize for being so insensitive," Edward said softly, lightly pulling me out of the truck. He held his arms out, as if considering a hug. "Please forgive me?"

He had already pulled me into his arms by now, and my head was swimming. My knees felt like they were going to give out. I mumbled stupidly, "Ok."

He let go of me and a hint of a smile ghosted his lips. "I guess I'll let you go to La Push now, then. I'll see you tomorrow at school."

I nodded and hopped into my truck. He strode away and climbed into his Volvo (how had I not noticed that from across the street?). I started my engine and drove to La Push.

On the car ride over, I was rehearsing how I would do this.

_I'm sorry, Jacob, but I realized you were just a distraction from my growing love for Edward Cullen._ No_._

_Jacob, I'm leaving you. Why? Because I love someone else. Who? The guy who you want to kill. _Definitely not.

_Jake… I do love you, in my own way. It's just not enough to compete with Edward._ That was sure to fail.

I shook my head and walked to the Black's little red cottage. I had a feeling I wouldn't be invited here again, so I took it all in while I could.

Billy answered the door. "Hey, it's Bella! Nice to see you."

"Hey, Billy, it's nice to see you too. Is Jake around?" I fiddled with the zipper on my jacket.

"He's at the store," Billy answered. "You could go and meet him now, if you want to. I think he's with some friends."

I nodded and headed back to my truck. Wonderful. I was going to have to do this in front of an audience.

I found the store easily and parked just around the corner from it. I could hear Jacob's infectious laughter from my truck, but I tried not to dwell on the fact I may never hear it again after this.

"Jake!" I called his name as I walked towards him. He was with the boys I recognized as Embry and Quil; his two best friends.

"Hey, Bella!" He grinned at me and wrapped an arm around my waist. He pulled me in to kiss me on the cheek, and Quil and Embry wolf whistled.

"Guys, you know Bells," Jacob grinned widely and pulled me closer.

"We sure do," Quil was smiling impishly at me. "In fact, we've heard _a lot _about you. Jake just about talked our ears off, right Em?"

"True that," Embry laughed and punched Jacob's arm. Jacob's cheeks were a little red, which I found cute.

"Hey, um, Jake… I need to talk to you for a second. Do you mind?" I got straight to the point, motioning for him to walk to my truck with me. He complied and waved to his friends, telling them he'd be back in a few minutes.

"What's up, Bella?" Jacob asked me, his blush still hovering on his cheeks but his grin still wide. I almost backed out right then, but something inside me urged me to go on.

"I… we need to have a serious talk. About us." I watched the grin slowly disappear from his face until it was a lopsided smirk. His blush disappeared, and he looked a little threatening.

"Oh, um, sure… ok." He nodded and leaned against my truck, where Edward was only an hour ago. "Well, let's talk."

"Jake, you're my best friend." I started, wringing my hands. I could already feel the tears starting to form in my eyes. "You mean a lot to me. The past few weeks have been… great, with you, they really have…"

"But?" Jacob's face was no longer the laughing, happy boy I had seen just before. Now, he looked like he wanted to yell. Or cry.

"But… I… I can't do this anymore." My voice automatically lowered to a whisper. The rain around us had gotten harder, almost soaking me right through.

"It's him, isn't it." Jacob snarled through his teeth, avoiding my eyes.

I slowly nodded.

Jacob yelled and slammed his fist into my truck. The whole vehicle swayed, but didn't look even close to falling over. I jumped at the loud sound and stared at Jacob with wide eyes.

"I knew it! He has his claws in you so deep…" Jacob was heaving, his anger pushing him to new heights. He looked like he could spit, or possibly bite a chunk out of my truck instead of punching it again.

I stared at him, unable to speak. He was just mad. He didn't know what he was saying.

"How could you let him do this to us? I thought… I thought for a second…" He couldn't seem to finish his sentence before he let out another enraged yell.

"It's not his fault," I squeaked.

"Of course you'd defend him." Jacob started walking away from me but then came wheeling back so he was right in my face. His fists were clenched and the tendons of his arms stood out like they were going to burst out of his skin.

"I-I'm sorry," I whispered, holding onto my truck for support. "I like you, Jake, I really do… it's just—"

"Not enough, right? Yeah," I could feel his breath on my face. He took hold of both of my arms and pulled me closer.

"Ouch, Jacob, you're hurting me!"

"Listen to me," He took a deep breath and slightly loosened his hold. "He has manipulated you to feel this way. It's what he _does_. He pulls you in and then pushes you away just like he did before. How could you fall for this again?"

I couldn't speak. My tongue felt like it had inflated in my mouth.

"I thought you were better than that, Bella." He let go of me, and I went stumbling into the side of my truck. I was surprised I wasn't crying yet, though I definitely felt like I need to.

"S-should I come back?" I whispered, and then felt completely stupid for ever mentioning it. Of course he wouldn't. He probably never wants to see me again.

"No. I just need some… time." He was breathing deeply with his eyes closed, trying to calm himself.

I nodded and opened the door to my truck. I shakily slid in and put my hands on the wheel, watching him.

"Bella, wait," He walked to my open window, but kept his distance. "I don't blame you for this. I blame him." And then, he ran.

I started my truck, feeling numb all over. I didn't feel the need to cry, or yell. I just knew I had to keep myself busy – because the moment I thought about what I had just done, I was going to break down.

I pulled up in front of my house and got out of the car. My whole body was soaked, my hair dripping down my back in streams. I was shivering when I walked in, and Charlie noticed.

"Why were you in the rain, Bella?" Charlie asked me, rushing towards me with a towel. He wrapped it around me and then folded his arms.

"I-I was talking to J-Jacob," I answered, running my tongue over my lips to try and gain some warmth. I knew they were blue, but I hoped Charlie wouldn't notice.

"And you couldn't go inside to do that?" He asked me skeptically.

"I… I broke up with him." I mumbled, walking past him and heading for the staircase.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Bells," Charlie let me go; in fear the tears would start. There was nothing Charlie was more scared of than his daughter's tears.

I dumped the towel on my bedroom floor and jumped into the steaming shower. I stood there until the hot water ran out and then got into my favorite pair of comfy sweats and a grey sweatshirt.

My cell phone started ringing, and I checked the number. _Alice._ Usually, I would've picked up the phone without hesitation. But right now, I was not in the mood. I ignored it and curled up on my bed, squeezing my eyes shut and fighting the throbbing pain in my heart.

After hours of lying awake in my room, there was a knock on my door. It was Charlie, offering me pizza. I quietly declined and went back to fighting the pain I felt so strongly.

x-x-x-x

I woke up depressed. I got picked up to go to school, depressed. I went through my daily classes, depressed. And then I got dropped home, once again depressed.

Edward greeted me happily when he picked me up in the morning. He talked to me throughout the day, as much as he would normally talk to Rosalie. It was sad to know that on any other day, I would have gladly accepted his happy mood. But not today. All I wanted to do was fade into the background.

"Bella, darling," I was stunned into silence when he said this, during biology. "I'm sorry about Jacob. I really am. I'm not saying this because I generally don't like him—" He waited for me to laugh, but I didn't. "But I don't like seeing you sad."

I had no response for him.

The next few days passed in a blur – none of my friends mentioned the break up, and I never talked to Jacob. Charlie was getting worried about me, but I insisted I was ok. He took my word for it and we continued with our daily routines.

I found that Jacob and Edward's positions in my life were slowly becoming reversed. _Jacob_ was the one I was hurting for, and _Edward_ was the one who was making me feel better. I wasn't hurting for Jacob because I loved him – I was hurting because I knew he was. Jacob has always been a part of me, and his pain became my pain. Though I haven't seen him for days, I knew he was hurting right now. I suppose it's just the connection we have.

Edward spent the next few days being there for me, holding my hand when I needed him to and giving me inspirational advice. He let me come over to his house every day; though I insisted I would be a nuisance. He never gave up on me, and we spent the whole evening talking. Alice joined us sometimes, but most of the time she left us alone. I knew she had an inner motive, but I refused to accept it.

Edward acted more like a best friend than he ever had before. It seemed like he was always on the fence, until now. Now I knew he was on my side, and he would never move.

Rosalie was a different story. Since she found out Jacob and I ended it, she went back to hating me. Whenever she saw Edward and I together she glared harder than she ever has before. Edward was becoming more and more protective of me when we were around her. He knew what she was capable of, and he wasn't going to let it happen to me. He kind of reminded me of a guard dog. A very handsome, sweet guard dog…

"I know what will cheer you up!" Alice shrilled, Friday at lunch. We all looked at her, confused. "The party!"

"What party?" I asked her.

"Bella, last weekend I told you about this. Remember, I told you we were going to Jessica Stanley's birthday party? She throws awesome parties, and I thought we could all go together." Alice laughed at me.

"I don't know, Alice," Edward looked at me and then back at his sister. "I don't know if Bella's up for it."

"I'm in," Rosalie sat forward and smiled at Alice. "And so is Emmett."

"That is great!" Alice clapped her hands and turned to Jasper, "Of course you're going…" Jasper sighed, but the smile didn't disappear off his face. "That just leaves Bella and Edward."

"I don't think you should make Bella go," Rosalie looked at me with hard eyes. "She _obviously _doesn't feel up to it."

Rosalie was making it more than obvious that she didn't want me to go. I was fine with that – I really didn't want to go anyway. I couldn't think of anything worse than drinking and dancing and loud music.

Edward instinctively pulled my chair closer to his.

"Please, Bella?" Alice begged, clasping her hands together and leaning towards me. "It'll be fine. We'll all stay with you the whole time. If you go, Edward will."

I looked down, blushing red. "I don't know, Alice. Parties have never really been my thing."

"C'mon, Bells," Emmett looked at me with an impish grin. "It'll be fun, I promise. You know I'll dance with you."

Rosalie shot him a murderous glare. I loved Emmett because he didn't care what his girlfriend thought. I wouldn't admit it, but I found it a little funny.

"Maybe…" Edward hesitated from beside me, testing me. When I didn't object, he continued. "Maybe it would good for you. Have some fun."

I bit my lip. It would be a distraction, for sure, and a damned good one. Plus, I'd be able to spend another night with Edward. I _needed_ him now, even more than before. Maybe even more than I once needed Jacob.

"Um… ok. I'll go." I nodded, smiling slightly. I was truly excited to spend time with not just Edward, but Alice, Jasper and Emmett. I tried not think about Rosalie too much.

"Yay!" Alice cheered and grinned at Emmett and Jasper. Emmett and Jasper shared a knowing look. "This is going to be so much fun!"

Edward was looking at me intently. He has been doing this quite a bit lately, checking my face to check for any visible negative emotions. I was surprise by his level of concern he now had for me – was he really that worried, just like he had said last week?

"I'm fine," I told him, lying only a little.

Just before he was about o speak, Alice cut in with pre-party plans. I could still see Edward watching me, and my heart started to race. Though my heart felt crippled sometimes, it was still there.

Especially when Edward was in the room.

x-x-x-x

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed!**

**Please review! **


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I got some sad news. This could be my last chapter for a whole week… all cause my parents have enforced some stupid rule =( it's very upsetting. Soo… I gotta make this chapter a good one, don't I! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

x-x-x-x

"Alice, I'm not sure this party is a good idea." Edward complained, for the tenth time this evening.

I was over at the Cullen house, and Alice was trying to get me ready for Jessica Stanley's party. Edward was hovering, as he usually did, and refused to leave my side unless I told him I was ok. He was constantly arguing with Alice, _insisting_ that this party would make me nothing but more depressed.

"_Yes_, Edward," Alice rolled her eyes and tried pushing Edward out the door. She failed. He didn't budge. "Bella is _fine_. What is with you, anyway?"

"Can you two stop talking about me like I'm not here?" I folded my arms and looked at them. I leaned against Alice's dresser.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Edward told me, and then turned to Alice. "If this makes her feel worse, it'll be hanging over your head."

"Yeah, yeah, now go and get ready!" Was Alice's reply. Once he had gone, Alice turned to me. "Jeez, what is with him, anyway? He's acting like a helicopter mom."

I shook my head. "He just feels sorry for me. Now…" I was starting to think about my personal issues too much. I needed something to distract me. "What the hell am I wearing?"

Alice went off into her own little world then, and I stood there listening. It felt like I had turned my brain off, but my subconscious was still switched on. I hadn't been paying attention until I heard the words 'little black dress.'

"Huh?"

"I said… I bought you this new little black dress!" Alice handed me a lump of greasy black fabric. I held it up in front of me.

"Alice, this is more like a second skin that a dress."

"Oh," Alice hushed me and started pulling me into the bathroom. I quickly got undressed and slipped into the dress, already feeling ridiculously self conscious.

"Holy shit, Bella, you look amazing," Alice stared me up and down, her mouth hanging open and her hands on her hips. "It's like this dress was made for you, or something. Jesus."

I blushed a deep red and turned away from her. "I look stupid. Don't try to make me feel better."

"Seriously, Bells, you look so good it's actually making me jealous. If any guy walked in here, they would instantly drop to their knees and beg for mercy."

I rolled my eyes and fell into Alice's makeup chair. She had a million different beauty products, all created to improve a person's appearance. I didn't own any makeup myself, but I secretly have been a little curious.

And that was because, deep down, though I still felt pain for Jacob, I still wanted to impress Edward. I hoped Alice would make me look a million times better than I did before, but I _also_ hoped Edward wouldn't base his preference for me by how I looked.

"Bella," Alice leaned down to whisper in my ear. "Tonight is _your_ night. Yes, we are going to Jessica Stanley's party, but this is your time to shine. If you still want Edward like I _know_ you do, you'll fight for him tonight."

And with that, she went about her normal business as if she had never said anything. I was left sitting there while she fussed over my face, thinking. Could I really make this work? Could I put everything on the line and take advantage of my condition?

I scoffed at myself. I talk about my 'condition' like I'm some kind of mental patient. I'm not. I'm just not in a good place at the moment.

"This is all about pity," I blurted out, the tears already forming in my eyes. "He's only so worried about me all the time because he's trying to make up for what he did. It's not for any other reason."

"Oh, Bella," Alice hugged me from the back, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. "That's not true. I know my brother. He doesn't feed off other people's problems. He is _following_ you around, he is _possessive_ of you. And it's not because he feels sorry."

I looked down, avoiding her eyes in the mirror in front of me. I fiddled with the ring on my index finger, turning it around and around. I had developed this habit lately when I got upset or nervous. It seemed to calm me down.

"Take _control_." Alice whispered into my ear, and then started again with the makeup. "I know you may be feeling down right now, but it'll only make you more determined. Screw our plan from before. This is a new day, and a _brand new plan._"

What has my best friend turned into? Some kind of pep talker? Well, she's a very good one, because I felt more determined than ever. I sat up straighter in my chair and looked into the mirror while Alice worked.

In thirty-five minutes, Alice and I were walking down the stairs, where Jasper and Edward waited. Edward had tried to take a peek into Alice's room, but she quickly shooed him away, telling him, "I know you want to see her, but you're going to have to wait!"

I blushed crimson as we walked down the stairs and met Jasper and Edward. Emmett and Rosalie were there too, but they faded into the background like they often did. That didn't seem to stop Rosalie glaring at me, or Emmett grinning. It was like the course of nature taking place.

Alice rushed into Jasper's arms, and I walked towards Edward. I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to do. Do I hug him? Do I tell him he looks nice? What do I _do_?

"You look beautiful, Bella," Edward complemented me with a crooked smile. He didn't attempt to hug me, or touch me in anyway, so I kept my distance just like he was.

"Thanks," I mumbled, looking down at my high-heel clad feet. "You look good too."

I quickly raised my eyes to examine his clothing; he wore dark denim jeans and an even darker button down t-shirt. The outfit suited Edward well, really – he was the mysterious, dark horse type of guy. The only thing bright on his face was his shining green eyes and messed bronze hair.

"Are we all ready to go?" Alice shrilled from beside me, starting to lead Jasper towards the door. Esme and Carlisle were waiting to see us off, just like I expected.

"Now, if this party gets too out of control, you know who to call." Carlisle warned us, looking each of us in the eyes. He had spoken to Charlie and told him I would be going to this party then spending the night at the Cullen's. Charlie trusted Carlisle and Esme fully, so there were no questions asked.

"We know," Alice walked past her parents and out the door.

"Edward, could we please speak to you for a moment?" Esme asked Edward, who stepped away from me to speak to his parents.

"I'll meet you in the car, Bella." He told me, before leaving the room. I nodded and walked out to the car.

"Oooh," Emmett whispered into my ear. He was seated next to me, grinning his face off. "Eddie's parents are giving him a talk. Who do you think it's about?"

I nudged him as hard as I could, but of course, he barely budged.

"Emmett," Rosalie snarled, grabbing Emmett's attention instantly. With a roll of his eyes he turned to Rosalie, and she occupied his attention just like always. I was forgotten.

I sighed and watched Edward walk across the lawn. His face looked emotionless, like he was trying to hide something deep inside. I was worried for him instantly; what if I had gotten him into some sort of trouble?

He got into the car and received looks from the rest of the group.

He shrugged. "Just something about safety. Don't worry about it."

I didn't buy it, and I don't think anyone else did either. Alice revved the engine and pulled out of the Cullen's driveway, obviously letting it go. Nothing was going to ruin this party for her, and we all knew it.

When we arrived, Jessica's street was alive. There were probably fifty cars all crowded onto one street, searching for a parking space or a place to drop off. Alice told us she would leave us at the front door, and we would wait for her while she parked.

Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Edward and I all got out of the car and waited on the kerb. Only now did I notice what Rosalie was wearing – a knee length, fitted red dress with a plunging neckline. Her fire engine red high heels almost made want to turn away, only because my own self esteem felt so low I wanted to cry.

And this didn't go unnoticed by the other party goers. Everyone stared, the girls drooling over Jasper, Emmett and Edward, and the boys couldn't tear their eyes away from Rosalie. I didn't have the nerve to look up, but I hoped no one was looking at me.

I felt someone wrap their arm around my waist, and looked up. It was Edward. He had never touched me like since we pretended to date, and it sent my heart into a frenzy and my head floating.

"Bella, stay close to me. There are some extremely intoxicated boys at this party, and I don't want you ending up in any position you don't want to be." He hissed into my ear, low and fast. I barely had time to listen before my head stopped swimming.

Oh. So this is about _protecting _me. He wasn't claiming me as his, or showing affection – he was doing it so no other boy would take advantage of me. Though my hopes plummeted, my heart continued to beat rapidly in my chest.

Alice made it back to us, and we all headed inside. We were receiving even more looks now, but I was too embarrassed to acknowledge them. Edward kept his arm around me, glaring at any boy who dared to approach. I knew what they would assume – that we were dating again. And that was _not _the case. Much to my disappointment.

I spent most of the party sitting on the couches, while Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice danced. Alice spent some of her time with me, trying to get me to get up and dance or have a drink. I politely declined, and she didn't push me. Edward snapped at her, telling her if I wanted to dance, I would dance and if I wanted to drink I would drink. He was a little on edge, and it worried me.

"Are you ok?" I yelled over the booming base guitar screaming from every wall.

"I'm fine," He yelled back. We were seated on a couch in the back of the living room, and were surrounded by gyrating and grinding bodies. I couldn't see any of our friends anymore. "Just…"

"What?" I asked him.

"You look very nice tonight."

I looked down, embarrassed. I looked like a tramp tonight, that's what I looked like. My dress barely covered any of my thigh, and though the neckline wasn't low, it may as well have been. This material stuck to my overheated skin like glue.

"Have you felt any better lately?" He asked me.

I thought for a second. If I said yes, he might leave me alone. If I said no, then he would become more protective. Do I say yes, and let him drift away from me like before? Or do I say yes, and possibly get him to come _closer?_

My mouth spoke before my brain approved.

"I don't know. I'm still a little… ?" I wasn't sure how to explain it.

Edward nodded. "It's ok. I get it. I'm here for you." He took my hand and squeezed it. The other party goers around us looked down curiously, and I knew what they were seeing. Fresh gossip for Monday morning.

I shifted a little closer to him, ignoring the glances we were getting. "I know. And thanks. You've been really nice to me the past few weeks, and I can't tell you how grateful I am."

"No problem, Bella," He smiled. "I'm just trying to make it up to you for what I did."

Something shattered inside me, as if I was being woken up. The loud, piercing screech almost made me jump, but my eyes went wider and I sat up straighter on the lounge chair. His words had broken through my shield, and suddenly I understood everything.

Everything that has happened in the past week has been because _he was trying to make it up to me._ It's not because he was worried, or because he cared. It was because he was trying to renew; trying to fix his mistakes. And that was all.

I took my hand out of his, not looking at him. I couldn't bear to even glance at him without crying – every emotion that I had felt in the past week came rushing back, and I felt like I needed to throw up.

"Are you ok? You look pale," Edward was watching me, so I tried to compose my face.

"I'm fine." I whispered, not sure if he could hear me. He probably couldn't.

"You look sick." He commented, placing a hand over my forehead. "You feel cold. Do you feel all right?"

_Trying to make it up to me. Trying to make it up to me. Trying to make it up to me_—

"I need some fresh air." I got up and left him on the couch, prying my way to the exit through the moving bodies. I caught sight of Alice and Jasper, dancing close together. Emmett and Rosalie were against the wall, and I didn't even want to know what they were doing. I didn't need another reason to want to be sick.

I made it outside, and the cool air made me feel better instantly. My head felt clearer out here, and I could think more clearly when the rain was lightly coating my face and washing away any perspiration.

I walked down Jessica's street, searching for Alice's car. It was very dark; I couldn't see much. The only light I had was from the house, but that was getting further and further away. Where the hell had Alice park?

The house was behind me now. It was pitch black out here, but I could hear voices.

Where did she park the damn car? I thought to myself as I walked. The voices were getting louder, and it took me only a few minutes to realize the voices belonged to Marcus Aro, Dimitri Jane and Alex Volturi. I hadn't met them before, but they were all in my English class.

They were standing against their car, beer bottles in their hands. When they saw me, they all grinned.

"Hey, it's Bella Swan!" Dimitri called, raising his beer in the air towards me. "I've heard about you, but I've never talked to you. I'm seriously regretting that now."

"Hi," I mumbled, and began walking past them. Marcus grabbed onto my arm, pulling me back.

"We just wanna talk. Get to know the mysterious Bella Swan we've heard so much about." He said, looking down at my dress. I wanted to say, _hey, my eyes are up here_, but I couldn't find my voice.

"I like your dress," Alex commented, also looking me up and down.

"Um, thanks, but I have to go," I managed to force out of my mouth, and began walking back towards the house. But Alex grabbed onto my hand, pulling me back until I smacked into his body.

"Is it true you're dating Edward Cullen?" He asked me, and I could smell his breath on my face. Nothing but alcohol and cigarette smoke.

His name sent butterflies through my stomach. "N-no."

"Good," Dimitri smiled and stepped closer to me. He put his beer bottle and top of his car and touched the strap of my dress. "I think you'd look better _without_ all the clothing."

"Don't touch me." I tried to sound threatening, but I don't think I succeeded.

"C'mon, Swan," Marcus sauntered over, so I was now closed in. They surrounded me, each taller than I was. I felt like I was trapped in a cage of foul-smelling boys. I guess I was. "Don't run away. We just want to have a little fun."

"I don't," I grunted, giving him a hard shove in the stomach. He only stumbled back.

"That wasn't nice." He smiled and tilted his head to the side. " Good thing I like them a little rough."

"Get off me," I shoved against the other boys, trying to free myself. They barely budged, and only seemed to move closer. "I said _get off me_."

"Bella!"

I knew his voice anywhere; I turned to my right and saw Edward barreling towards us, bull at a gate. He grabbed onto Dimitri's shoulder and shoved him to the ground. He pulled on the front of Marcus' shirt and pulled him against the car.

"Don't you dare touch her," He growled in his face, giving him one last shove into the car. He turned to Alex, who had already started backing away. "Bella, we're leaving."

He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled my away, keeping me close to him. We walked in silence for a moment, but I couldn't stop shaking. I didn't know whether it was the cold or that I was still feel Marcus' hand on my shoulder.

He seemed to find Alice's car easily enough, and he already had a set of keys. He pushed me inside and then said, "I'm going to go get the others. I'll be back in a few minutes." He slammed the door and left me in the dark car, still shivering.

It wasn't that I was scared of what Marcus, Alex and Dimitri were intending to do with me – it was the fact that I was scared for what they would do to _Edward_. They were all tall guys, each pretty muscular, and part of the football team. It worried me what kind of trouble Edward could get into after this.

In two minutes Edward returned with the whole group. Alice quickly rushed over, and asked me if I was ok. Jasper checked me for injuries, and Emmett looked on like a big brother. Rosalie folded her arms and looked disappointed.

"We're going home," Edward told her.

"We've only been here for two hours." Rosalie argued, still standing outside the car.

"No." Edward told her before she could say anything else.

She rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Edward, you're being stupid. She got herself in a stupid situation, and now you have to ruin our fun by—"

"Just get in the damn car, Rosalie." He spat at her, silencing us all. He has only called her Rosalie a few times since I've known him – every other time it's been 'Rose' or occasionally, 'Rosie.' She robotically got into the car, sliding in next to Emmett.

We drove home in silence; I didn't know if it was because Edward was practically seething in front seat or that the tension was suffocating. I just knew I all wanted to do was get into some comfortable clothing and then crawl into bed.

When we arrived home, Edward told me to go upstairs and take a shower to calm my nerves. I instantly agreed and went upstairs, leaving the others downstairs to tell Carlisle and Esme what happened.

I took my time showering then got changed into sweat pants and a t-shirt. I slowly walked downstairs, listening to the conversation.

"You left her _alone_?" Carlisle asked his son, disapproval thick in his voice.

"No. Well, yes. We were sitting down and then she looked a little sick. She said she needed some fresh air, but I didn't think she'd go wandering." Edward answered.

"You let her go alone. What are you, stupid?" Alice shrieked at him.

"Alice," Esme whispered.

"Alice is right," Emmett interjected, and I could just imagine glaring at Edward with his arms folded. "You shouldn't have let her go alone. You know she hasn't been feeling very happy lately, and yet you let her wander off when there are drunk boys around!"

"It wasn't like that. I thought she wanted to be alone…" Edward trailed off, and I could now hear the shame in her voice.

"Seriously, Edward, you need to get your crap straight." Emmett told him. "You lead her on, and then you push her away. You have to make up your mind, or she's just going to be more hurt than before."

"I know." Edward sighed. It now seemed to be a conversation with only him and Emmett.

"I'm sure you'll make the right decision, Edward." Esme said soothingly. I pictured her wrapping her arms around her son.

Alice: "Personally, I think you like her. Why else would you be following her around and protecting her like some kind of guard dog?"

Emmett laughed. "Alice has a point."

"Don't be ridiculous," Rosalie scoffed, speaking for the first time. "If you liked her, you would have done something about it by now."

"Not true." Alice's tinkling voice sounded mocking.

"True." Rosalie argued.

"I think we all need some rest," Carlisle cut in, obviously preventing an argument. I heard Rosalie and Alice grunt, and Edward and Emmett sighed. "Let's all go up to bed."

I quickly ran up the stairs, trying not to trip over my own feet. I made it to Edward's room and sat on the bed before anybody else had gotten upstairs. And though I'd be sleeping in Alice's room tonight, Edward's felt the most comforting.

"Bella," Edward breathed when he walked in. "Are you feeling better?"

"Y-yes," I tried to calm my voice. "Thank you."

"I'm sorry I let you go alone," He told me, sitting beside me on his bed. "I thought you were just going out onto the door step, not going half way down the street."

"Sorry… I was looking for Alice's car, and I got lost."

"It was dark. I understand."

I remembered why he cared at all – because he was trying to make it up to me. It made my heart ache, and my breathing quickly became ragged; I really, really needed to cry. But I couldn't do it in front of him. I needed to be strong.

"Rosalie hates me again," That was the only thing I could think of right now. If I spoke, I wouldn't cry. I don't think.

"She doesn't… _hate_ you…"

"Stop. She does." I retorted, slightly turning away from him. I looked around his room; it was so _Edward._ Hundreds of CDs sat in a shelf, piles of books sat on a desk, and his clothes were piled into a wardrobe across from the bed. There a small wooden box sitting on his wardrobe, and I instantly felt compelled to know what was inside.

I got up and wandered over to it. I ran my fingers over the wood carvings on the lid.

"Hey," Edward got up and came over to me. He grabbed the box. "Don't touch that."

I recoiled back, looking up at him through my lashes timidly. "Sorry."

His breath caught for a moment. He couldn't seem to speak properly. "It's… it's just… special."

I continued to look up at him, trying to find the hidden meaning behind his eyes. For a moment, I thought I could see into his soul – it was pure, and good. Just before I managed to say something, he shut himself off, and he looked down at the box.

"I think you should go to bed now." He told me, placing it back on the wardrobe and walking away from me.

I felt myself tear up, but I refused to let my tears fall just yet. I needed to say one more thing.

"Edward," I walked after him and stepped close to him so I could look into his eyes. I took a deep breath. "I know you feel the need to repay me for what you did. But please, you're making me so confused. If you are actually my friend, then continue doing what you're doing. But if you're only doing this to make you feel better… then you need to stop. You don't have to repay me for anything. I forgave you. That's it. No more."

He stared at me, mouth open slightly.

"Goodnight, Edward." I whispered, and turned my back on him. I passed Emmett and Jasper in the hall, who looked after me with confusion.

I went to Alice's room and closed the door behind me. Rosalie was with her, and they were sitting on the bed talking with their heads close together. It sounded like they were arguing, but I couldn't be sure.

"Hey," Alice got up and walked to me. I sat down on the bed that was made up on the floor and looked down at my hands. "Are you ok?"

"I-I'm fine," I mumbled, resting my head on my hand. "Just tired."

"I'm sorry we left you alone at the party," Alice told me, sitting beside me and putting a hand on my shoulder. "We should have stayed with you guys."

"It's not your fault." I said, shaking my head. "I was stupid to go outside on my own."

Alice sighed. "At least Edward got to you in time, right?"

"Yes, thank _God _for Edward. Isn't he the best?" Rosalie looked up, her hand pressed over her mouth like she just couldn't believe it. "If he wasn't around, how could we possibly _live_?"

Alice glared at her. "Don't be so rude, Rose."

"Me? Being rude?" Rosalie gasped, glancing down at us with her angry blue eyes. Even when she was being mean she looked beautiful. "I would never do such a thing."

"Cut it out, Rosalie!" Alice snapped at her, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "Stop being so mean!"

"I'm not being _mean_!" Rosalie hissed back at her. I continued to look down at my hands. "I'm telling the truth! Everything I say is true, but no one in this damn place refuses to believe it!"

"Because what you say isn't _nice,_" Alice retorted. "You live to make people feel miserable, and no one likes that."

"I do not make people miserable. I merely tell it like it is."

"Well, maybe you should keep your thoughts to yourself next time, because nobody wants to hear them."

I refused to look at either of them; I didn't want to make them any more mad. The silence in the air was buzzing with tension.

"We should go to sleep," Alice said eventually, getting up and going towards her bed. Rosalie moved to the make shift bed next to me, but we didn't speak a word.

I crawled under the covers and squeezed my eyes shut. The tears were coming, and I knew it, but I didn't want to wake up in the morning and have my face red and puffy. It would give me away.

So I settled for thinking happy thoughts. I remembered when I was still in Phoenix, when none of this had happened and things were so much simpler in my life. I lived with my mom and Phil, and Edward was forgotten. Instead of imagining a life without Edward, I imagined a life with nothing but Edward and fell asleep easily.

In the morning, we were all dead tired. The boys didn't wake up until one in the afternoon, and Alice, Rosalie and I woke up at twelve-thirty. We barely talked to each other, with the exception of chatting with Carlisle and Esme.

Carlisle and Esme fussed over me, making sure I was ok from last night. They told me they would need to tell Charlie, though I begged them not to. I knew he would freak out, so I spent most of the day at the Cullen house playing video games with Emmett and Jasper. I was avoiding going home.

"Bella, Charlie is worried," Esme told me, interrupting Jasper, Emmett and I's game of Call of Duty. "It's not that we don't want you here, but you should go home and let him know you're ok."

I sighed and stood up. Edward stood up with me and offered to drive me home. I was going to decline, but I couldn't find it in myself.

I grabbed my bag and climbed into his Volvo. I hugged my legs to my chest as we drove, the silence worrying me.

"Bella, you have no idea how sorry I am," Edward told me, once he had pulled into a parking spot across from my house. "Please, grasp that. I'm not trying to make you feel better or whatever you think. I'm truly sorry."

I let out a sigh I didn't know I was holding. "You're so good, Edward."

"What?"

"You really do have a good heart. You use your kindness incorrectly, though. But it's not your fault. You're just confused."

He had nothing to say to that. I knew I was right and so was he.

"I care about you," I turned towards him, biting my lip. I had been thinking about this all night, and it felt good to finally say it. "I just want you to be happy. If it means staying away from me, I'll understand. If it means ignoring me, I'll get that too. I'm making you unhappy, and I can't take it anymore."

He blinked and shook his head. "Bella…" He struggled for words. "You do not make me unhappy. Far from it. Since you've come to Forks, I think we have rekindled what we once had, but in a different way. We're more mature now, obviously, so we can understand each other. If anything, you make me happier."

I started to blush as I looked down. I didn't expect him be so blunt with me, but I was secretly relieved. Though I wanted him to be honest, I also wanted him to tell me the exact opposite to what I was telling him.

"Thanks, Edward," I peeked up at him, trying to calm my racing heart. "But you can cut it out with the whole making-it-up-to-me thing. There's no need for it, because I've already accepted your apology. You don't owe me anything."

He smiled slightly and nodded. "Ok. I'm sorry. You're just so… fragile. I'm scared anything could crush you instantly."

"I can take care of myself," I smiled at him. "I'm tougher than you think. And this whole thing with Jacob? It hurts, but I can deal with it. I'm a big girl."

He chuckled, but his smile soon turned into a frown. "Why did you break up with him, anyway?"

"Umm…" I shook my head. "It's… complicated."

"I'm sure I can keep up."

I shook my head again and put my hand on the door. "It doesn't matter. I need to go explain to Charlie what happened without him having a hernia."

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes," I opened the door and looked back at him. "Thanks again, Edward."

"You're my best friend, Bella. I'll see you tomorrow."

x-x-x-x

**I thought I'd end it with a happy note (: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you could please tell me what you think of Edward or Rosalie, it would make me extremely happy. I'd love to hear your opinions on them at this point in the story! **

**Please review! **


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thank you so much for all your GREAT reviews! I am loving them! If I get some spare time from writing, I might answer a few ;) **

**One more note. Some of the bad language in this story might get a little more… frequent, and well, rude. If you don't like stories with that kinda thing, then you might not want to read this. Don't blame me. Blame Rosalie and Bella's anger in this chapter :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Sadly.**

The next month past in a surreal blur. April flew by, and now we were only half a day away from summer. I had a good feeling about this – spending a whole summer with my friends. And, of course, Edward… _my best friend._ My other half. He held one side of my heart, and I don't know what'd I do if he crushed it. Well… crushed it _again_.

_No_, I told myself. _Don't think about that. Edward is a different boy from what he was._ _He wouldn't hurt me again._

That's what I told myself.

School was winding down, and Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie were preparing to move to college. None of them were going very far; only to the community college. They claimed they didn't need a big fancy college to get a good education – but I believed they just didn't want to leave their family and friends. They're graduation was a huge event.

Right now, we were sitting in the cafeteria, the whole room alive with noise and excitement. The last few days of school were always hectic, though laid back in a way. You didn't do anything, but everyone (including teachers) were frantic to be released from the cage we all called _Forks High School._

"I've got _truckloads_ of things planned!" Alice squealed happily, discarding her lunch and clapping her hands. "We can go to the zoo, go on drives, go to parties, clubs, sleepovers, field trips to Seattle and Tacoma, and—"

"Alice," Edward laughed, shaking his head with a beautiful smile on his face. His chair sat close to mine, until our shoulders were almost touching. It took all my willpower not to climb onto his lap. "Take a breath. I think you're going blue."

"Shut up," Alice swatted him while we all laughed, receiving curious looks from the rest of the student body. I sighed. It was summer tomorrow and they were still too busy trying to catch up with the latest "Cullen Table" gossip.

"This summer is going to be _epic_," I grinned, leaned back in my chair, and then folded my arms. I was perfectly content.

"It's going to more than epic," Emmett grinned at me widely. "It's going to change _lives_."

Rosalie and Jasper laughed and shook their heads.

"Anyone would think you guys were talking about an _actual_ life changing event," Rosalie smiled at her boyfriend. The smile instantly made me feel self conscious about myself.

"Rose," Emmett pulled Rosalie's chair closer to his and pressed his lips to her cheek. "This _is_ a life changing event. Embrace it."

"I'll embrace you," Rosalie chuckled and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. The rest of us looked away, disgusted but also to give them privacy. Not that there was much privacy in a crowded lunch room.

"Have they… always been like that?" I whispered to Edward.

He smiled, knocking me breathless. Though a month past since he told me I was his best friend, everything he did still made me need to catch my breath.

"Yes, they have been. It's rather sickening, isn't it?"

"It's sweet," I turned to my head slightly to watch them.

Edward shrugged. "If you like that kind of thing."

The words spilled out of my mouth before I could stop it. "Do _you_ like that kinda thing?"

His cheeks flushed a little red and he looked down at our feet. "I… I don't know."

I wondered if he had ever kissed a girl before. I had never kissed a boy, but I wasn't a super-sexy, god-like guy like my best friend sitting next to me. _Omigod. Did I really just think that?_

When I looked back up, Rosalie and Emmett were back in their chairs, Emmett grinning goofily and Rosalie staring at Edward and I with hatred. Though a little time had passed, she still glared at me. I got out of my truck, she glared. I got a sandwich at lunch, she glared. I went to the goddamn _bathroom_ and she glared. I was a universal annoyance.

But she had also taken to glaring at Edward. It wasn't as severe and cutting as the ones I received, but vicious all the same. She talked to him, unlike me. To be honest, I was getting fed up – I had been told I had quite a temper, but I never really expressed it. This time, I wanted to yell and scream and slap that evil sneer off her pretty little face.

See how violent I was getting?

When it came to Edward, I would do anything.

The bell rang and we all got up and grabbed our backpacks off the back of our chairs. The others went to their own classes while Edward and I walked towards the science building.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked, picking up my right hand and gently rubbing circles with his thumb. The gesture sent shivers up my spine. He had really taken to touching me like this these days. "You seem distressed."

"I-I'm fine," I stumbled, walking into our Biology classroom. We walked to our table and sat down. He picked up my hand and continued to rub circles. Seriously, was he trying to kill me?

"You're flushing red," His voice started to become frantic.

_You idiot, I'm blushing!_ "I feel fine, really. Just a little… dehydrated."

"You need to drink more water," He let go of my hand, and I let out a deep breath. Really, how could this boy not have guessed I was in love with him yet?

The teacher walked in then, and the lesson commenced. I knew we wouldn't get much done, so Edward and I settled for passing notes. Heck, it's the last day of school!

He wrote, _**Your hair looks redder today. Have you colored it?**_

I glared at him. He asked me this all the time, just to rile me up. It really, really annoyed me.

I angrily scribbled back, _**No, wouldn't you think I would have told you the first time you asked? **_

He smiled as he read the note then slid it back. _**I just like to see you get annoyed. It's very cute.**_

Did he really just call me cute? My heart hammered in my chest and my face flushed a hundred shades of red. Some part inside me told me he was flirting, but I wasn't sure. Edward always seemed like he was saying something else.

When I peeked at him through my curtain of hair, he was smiling at me, waiting for a note. I put my pen to paper, trying not to make my writing scribbly.

_**Is that a good quality or a bad quality to have in a friend?**_

Edward: _**Either**__**. **_

Me: _**And for your information, I have never, ever colored my hair. And I probably never will. **_

Edward: _**I know. And you shouldn't. Your hair looks gorgeous the way it is.**_

I almost dropped my pen this time. Was he really flirting with me? Edward Cullen, my now-best-friend-who-only-a-few-months-ago-hated-my-guts?

I couldn't seem to control my hand writing, so I just smiled and pushed the note away. He grinned and curled a lock of my hair around his fingers, pulling it close to his face and touching it to his skin.

Wow. My heart almost went into overdrive. My hair was so long I could turn my head to look at him without pulling my lock of hair from his fingers. As soon as I looked over, he raised his eye brows at me and lifted my hair to his nose.

The room spun around me, and I had to hold onto the corners of the table. No one seemed to notice, including Edward.

He inhaled. "Mmm… strawberries. You haven't changed shampoos."

I shook my head.

"I love it," He dropped my hair, and now the whole classroom seemed to be watching. Even Mr. Banner had stopped whatever he was doing to stare. These people at this school still amaze me. Maybe it was something to do with the small town they lived in.

"Thanks," I muttered, avoiding the eyes of my fellow classmates and best friend. Best friend. _Best friend._ No matter how many times I said it, I never got over how good it made me feel.

After school, the car park was alive. Everyone cheered and whooped and crowded around their cars. The six of us walked towards our cars, the crowds naturally parting for us just like usual. Edward stood close to me and pushed anyone away who got too close. This is what I imagined a celebrity's life would be like.

"Movie night at my house tonight?" Alice shrilled, as Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie filed into Emmett's Jeep. Edward and I got into the Volvo quick enough to hear everyone agree.

Emmett's Jeep followed us through the winding driveway and then into the car park. We were all super excited – the summer was finally here. No more waiting. No more exams or assignments for three months. Hell, even I wanted to jump and sing.

"Woo!" Emmett cheered as we all got out of our cars. His cheers echoed through the garage causing Esme and Carlisle to come down. They both grinned when they saw the six of us with huge smiles.

"Glad for the summer?" Esme laughed, leading us inside.

"Hell yes!" Emmett yelled, clapping his hands together. "Nothing but fun with this lot!"

We all laughed and walked into the kitchen. We all dumped our back packs, glad to be rid of anything to do with school. I never wanted to look at another text book again.

"What have you got planned?" Carlisle asked us politely, sitting at the table next to Esme. We all crowded around the table and dug in to the biscuits.

Edward looked at his father. "I wouldn't ask that, Dad—"

"Well!" Alice stepped forward, her eyes twinkling in the light. Carlisle and Esme instantly chuckled – they had been expecting this by far.

We all stood in the kitchen while Alice rattled off a bunch of ideas. We all knew half of them wouldn't happen, but no one had the heart to tell little Alice.

"Sounds like you're going to be very busy," Esme chuckled and stood up. "Carlisle and I are planning to spend a few days in Portland."

Alice squealed.

"Glad to see you're going to miss us," Esme smiled at her daughter, and turned to me. "Bella. We've called your father, and he's agreed to let Alice and Edward stay with you."

My mouth fell open. Edward was going to be staying… at my _house_? Like… with my father, and possibly in my room? Using my shabby kitchen and bathroom? Was I even worthy of that?

Emmett burst out laughing. "Looks like Bella has gone into shock."

Edward slapped him, which seemed to wake me up. I shook my head and looked at Esme. "Sure, that sounds… great. When are you leaving?"

"In the morning," Carlisle answered and wrapped an arm around his wife. "So we're going to go up and get packed. Help yourself to anything in the house for dinner."

They both went upstairs, leaving the rest of us alone.

I looked around at my friends; Rosalie was scowling at Edward and I, obviously not happy about them staying over. Jasper and Emmett grinned at me with raised eye brows. Alice looked like she was about to explode with excitement. Edward was looking down at me, watching the emotions on my face.

"Are you ok with Alice and I staying, Bella?" He asked me, his eyes soft and concerned. I pulled my eyes to him, but just before I was about to answer…

"I'm sure Bella is just fine with that," Jasper chuckled.

I looked down and flushed red. I thought I heard a growl from across the room, and snapped my head up. Rosalie had her teeth crunched, fists balled. Seriously, did this girl have an anger problem?

The fury inside me was begging to escape. I looked at Rosalie and spat, "What?"

Everyone looked at me with shock; I had never sounded so mean in my life. Even to me, I sounded… well, Rosalie-ish. I didn't even know that was possible, and I don't think any of my friends did either.

"What did you just say to me?" Rosalie spat back, taking a step closer.

The tension in the room went from excited and happy to tense and frightening; Emmett was ready to step in, and Edward looked like he was about to push me behind him. Could Rosalie really be that furious?

The anger inside me wasn't done. "I said… why the hell are you looking at me like that?"

"Oh, would you look at that… the precious little darling has a backbone," She sneered with a cruel smile. "Better late than never, I say."

"What the _fuck_ is your problem?" I had never spoken that word before; at least, not out loud. The fact that it came out of my mouth now must mean I was so angry I couldn't control my mouth.

Everyone around me seemed to freeze in shock; no more goody-goody Bella.

"My problem, is that—"

"Hey!" Emmett put a hand on Rosalie's arm, his grin no longer. "Cool it, guys. Just calm down."

"Did you hear what she said to me?" Rosalie snarled at him, pointing her perfectly manicured finger at me.

"Yes, but you started it," Edward stepped in front of me, almost shielding me from view. "It's your fault she got angry in the first place."

"My fault? _My_ fault?" It looked like Rosalie's anger was finally being let out of its cage. No more glaring. "It wasn't _my_ fault she came to this _fucking_ town in the first place!"

"Rose," Alice cautioned her from behind me. "Calm down."

"How could you tell me to calm down?" Rosalie said to her. "Once again, I am the one getting all the crap, and she is treated like a saint. How fucking predictable."

"Rosalie, stop," Edward glared at her.

"And you're taking her side," Rosalie held out her arms to prove her point. "That's typical too. Just a few months ago, you hated her. What the hell happened to _my_ best friend?"

Holy crap, I just realized something. Rosalie Hale was _jealous_.

I had never really thought of that before – I knew she hated me, but I never quite knew why. Was it really because she was jealous of Edward and I's relationship? Did she miss being his best friend, just like I did just a few weeks ago? The realization had me frozen in place. I didn't know what to say.

"Rosalie," Edward stared at her, his tone hard. "Stop this _right now_. You're upsetting her."

I hadn't even realized I had tears in my eyes.

"Oh, am I upsetting _her?_ What about _me_? Doesn't anyone care about _me?_ How I feel?" Rosalie retorted, and for a second, I saw the spark of pain in her eyes. It made me feel horrible; how much was Rosalie feeling that none of us saw?

"We do care," Emmett moved closer to wrap his arms around her. "Of course we do. You know you're my number one priority."

Rosalie gritted her teeth. "Yeah, I might be _yours._ But what about Alice, or Edward? The Cullen siblings are gone. Caught in the trap I call Isabella Swan."

I looked down, the tears beginning to spill over. Was what Rosalie had been saying true? Was I really stealing her friends away, like some greedy fiend? Was it even my right to turn up in Forks and expect everyone to welcome me with open arms?

No, no it wasn't.

"I'm sorry, Rosalie," I whimpered, stepping closer to her. "I didn't mean to do anything you're accusing me off. I didn't steal anyone."

She looked up, her eyes still cruel. "You wouldn't know. You're too busy playing sweet and kind."

I sighed. Was she correct again?

"Bella, don't," Edward stepped forward and latched onto my hand. His face looked worried and anxious. "Don't let her confuse you. You're fine just the way you are. You not playing anything."

"He does this, you know," Rosalie chuckled darkly. "Tells you you're fine just the way you are, leaving no room to improve."

"She doesn't know what she's saying," Edward jerked me toward him. "Don't listen to her. She's just upset."

"Upset my ass. Everything I say is the truth, and Bella knows it."

I felt like I was getting tugged back and forth; or that I was watching a game of tennis. Back and forth. Back and forth.

Jasper, Emmett and Alice seemed to have faded into the background, and I was stuck in between Rosalie and Edward while they continued to argue. Once I managed to clear my head, I looked up at Rosalie.

"Rose, I'm sorry. Whatever I did to anger you, I didn't mean to do it. I'm not asking you to like me, but don't let our differences ruin our summer. Please?" I held out my hand in front of her, praying she'd take it.

After minutes of hesitation, she shook my hand. "Fine. But this doesn't mean I like you."

I nodded and stepped back. Jasper, Emmett and Alice stood side by side, staring at me with shock and admiration. Edward and Rosalie stood on either side of me, both trying to calm themselves down. If Esme and Carlisle came downstairs right now, they would run into an odd sight.

"Ok," I clapped my hands together and tried to smile. "Should we start our epic summer with some dinner?"

They all broke out of their reveries and nodded.

The tension in the room seemed to die down after a while; within ten minutes, we were all laughing and cooking together like the last scuffle never happened. We made tacos, (in which I did most of the cooking) which proved to be no easy task. Emmett started throwing around lettuce and sprinkling cheese in everyone's hair. I could imagine _this_ kind of gossip being spread around Forks High.

Esme and Carlisle came downstairs while we ate, completely unaware of our latest conflict. They smiled at us and Carlisle picked a piece of cheese out of my hair.

"Should I even ask?" He laughed, shaking his head.

"Probably not," Edward smiled at his Father and continued eating. "Getting ready to head out in the morning?"

"Yes," Esme answered him. "Make sure you lock up the house when you go to Charlie's. And don't be too much trouble, alright? Even when he asks you _not_ to go into Bella's room."

We all choked on our tacos.

Carlisle grinned playfully at his wife. "Dear Esme, that was inappropriate."

"Needed to be done," Esme nudged his shoulder with a huge smile. "You would've said the same thing."

"True," Carlisle shook his head and looked up at Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper. They were still coughing from choking on their tacos. "How was your last day of high school?"

"Great," Jasper was the first to answer while Emmett and Rosalie desperately chugged down their water. "Sad, though. We're still going to go and pick up Alice, Edward and Bella some days."

"Of course," Esme smiled and looked around at all of us. She laughed when she saw the loose bits of lettuce all over our plates. "Well, did you make some for us?"

"You—" Edward stopped mid sentence to pull a piece of lettuce out from the collar of my shirt. My heart went into overtime. "Do you really want to know where all this food has been?"

"On second thoughts…" Carlisle frowned and then laughed. "Maybe we'll order some take out."

We finished dinner and later headed into the living room. As it turns out, Alice had somehow gotten us all something to change into. Rosalie came preprepared, but I knew she wouldn't lend me something. Just because we had agreed not to fight this summer, doesn't mean she hated me any less.

"What should we watch?" Alice wandered over to the Cullen's huge DVD collection and picked out a few titles. "We've got… _Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Pirates of the Caribbean, _or _The Sixth Sense._"

"Hold on," Emmett held up his hand and looked at Alice skeptically. "Out of that huge ass DVD collection, they're the best there is?"

"It's either them or Esme and Carlisle's weird documentaries."

"Ok, let's go for _Texas Chainsaw Massacre_?" Emmett said immediately, and we all agreed. After putting in the DVD, Jasper pulled Alice onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. Emmett put his arm around Rosalie and leaned back into the couch. Which left Edward and I to awkwardly sit side by side against the couch.

As the movie started, I was itching to close the distance between us and sit shoulder-to-shoulder. Or, better yet, I wanted him to hug me or put me in his lap like Jasper and Emmett just did. But I knew it wouldn't.

By the time the movie got half way through, I was cuddled up to Edward's side, staring at the screen wide eyed. It was one of those movies where you don't want to watch, but you can't look away. So, as gruesome and disgusting as the movie was, I couldn't bear to tear my eyes away. Which meant I needed someone to hold. And lucky for me, that person happened to be Edward.

When I screamed, everyone laughed. Edward put his arm around me and leaned his head close to mine, watching the screen wide-eyed just like I was. I saw Emmett wiggling his eye brows out of the corner of my eye, and Alice giving me the thumbs up. I stared at them both, and they looked away.

Edward jumped, causing me to be pushed into his side. My face was pressed into his shoulder, which I didn't mind in the least – he smelled delicious.

"Edward, you look like you're about to piss you pants." Jasper chuckled, the end credits starting to roll. "Bella doesn't look much different."

Edward and I looked up at each other, not realizing how close we were. We both moved away until we were sitting a few inches from each other. Emmett laughed and Alice sighed.

"That wasn't scary," Alice scoffed, looking down at us. "You two looked just about ready to jump into each other's laps."

I looked up at her, flushing bright red. She giggled at me and shrugged, as if she were so damn innocent butter could melt in her mouth. I knew better. She had planned this.

"Another movie?" Jasper asked, beginning to stand up.

"I'm tired," I rubbed my eyes as a yawn escaped my mouth.

"Aw, Bells, it's only ten." Emmett groaned, hanging onto my shoulders and shaking them. I was definitely awake now. "Stay awake. We haven't even gotten into any mischief yet."

"Just because you've graduated, Em, doesn't mean you need to get up to any mischief." I smiled at him and rubbed my eyes again. "Is it just me, or do you look worse when I'm tired?"

"Hey…" Emmett grinned down at me, earning a glare from Rosalie. I tried to ignore it. "That's not cool."

"Live with it."

We all laughed, incredibly drowsy. Though Emmett or Alice would never admit it, they were starting to nod off during the movie. They just wanted to party.

"Well, what else do you want us to do?" Edward asked, rubbing the back of his head where his hair was sticking up.

"I wanna watch _Madagascar_," Alice jumped up and grabbed the DVD. She put it into the player and settled back into her place on Jasper's lap. We all groaned, having seen this movie a hundred and ten times.

"That Zebra would be a great best friend." Emmett commented, pointing at Arty the Zebra as he danced around on the screen.

"I'd prefer the Giraffe," I mumbled against Edward's shoulder. He let me lean against him now, and we were both too tired to care.

"What, with all that medical crap he goes through?" Edward smiled as he looked at the screen. "I love the Hippo. She's super sassy."

"Oh, you like sass?" I grinned, still watching the screen.

"Depends who it's coming from," He yawned. "Like today," He leaned down to whisper in my ear, "You stood up to Rosalie. That's what I call _sass_."

I laughed softly and let the blush spread across my cheeks. "I shouldn't have said anything I did. It wasn't nice."

"She wasn't fair to you either," He said.

"No, but I shouldn't have riled her up."

I looked up, and noticed Alice and Jasper had fallen asleep against each other. They looked incredibly sweet, Alice's head resting on Jasper's shoulder and Jasper's head resting on Alice's. It was what I wished Edward and I could be – Dependant on each other.

"We should go to bed." Edward murmured. "It's getting close to midnight, and most of us are asleep."

"I'm asleep," My eyes had slipped closed against his shoulder.

He chuckled and stood up. He took my hand and pulled me close to him, pulling up both upstairs and into his room. I knew Charlie would have a fit if he knew Edward was inviting me into his room with him. Heck, I think Carlisle and Esme would have a fit. Or not.

"Edward…" I tried to blink without letting my eyes slip closed. "I don't think we should be.. sleeping in the same bed."

"What's the harm? We're friends." I don't think Edward was thinking straight. He sat on his bed and patted his lap.

I stared at him, now feeling a little more awake. Did he just invite me to sit on his lap? "Um…"

He pulled me down onto his lap, burying his nose into my hair. Feeling his arms around me made my stomach swim with warmth, and I hoped he didn't notice the blush on my cheeks.

"You're very important to me, Bella." He whispered against my hair, where he buried his nose and inhaled. "You don't know how important _you are_."

"You're tired," I whispered, my voice shaking. "Let's go to sleep."

I forced myself to climb off his lap and crawl to the left side of his bed. He followed behind me, lying on his side. I could smell his scent on his pillow, and it was heaven – I couldn't ask for a better aroma. Men would pay hundreds to smell like this, naturally. Edward was just perfect enough to be born with it.

I was secretly cursing myself for letting myself get off his lap. But the thing was, if that were to happen, I didn't want it to happen while he was deliriously tired. I wanted it to happen while he was perfectly conscious and alert. When _I _was fully awake.

But now that I was lying here, basking in his warmth and scent, I couldn't even ask for sleep. I stared up at his ceiling, listening to his steady breathing as he slept. The sound would have put me to sleep, if I hadn't of remembered the wooden box that sat on his dresser.

I quietly got off the bed and wandered across the room to his wardrobe. I saw the box, sitting innocently on its own. This was the thing Edward had taken away from me last time I tried to look. Would he still be mad if I took a look now?

Trying to be as quiet as I could, I pulled it closer to me and carefully opened the lid. I held in a gasp at what I saw.

x-x-x-x

Early that morning, Carlisle and Esme left to go to Portland. I heard them open Edward's door and check in on us, but I couldn't hear anything they said. I wondered what we must have looked like to them; during the night, Edward had obviously shifted to wrap his arms around me. Our legs were entwined, just like a couple's would be. I could barely get in a wink of sleep.

Alice danced into Edward's room hours after they left and tapped Edward's head until he woke up. When he looked down at our position, we both smiled a little and moved away. Alice giggled.

"The parents are gone!" She squealed, way too loud for so early in the morning. "Which means…"

"Slumber party at Bella's place?" I muttered groggily, sitting up and rubbing my eyes.

"Yep!" Alice jumped onto Edward's bed and held onto her brother's shoulder. "C'mon, big brother! It's time to pack some stuff for Bella's!"

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here," I climbed off the bed and padded to the door. I heard Alice and Edward talking as I walked down the stairs and saw Emmett and Rosalie, half asleep on the couch.

"Heyyyyyy Emmmmmmy," I whispered, flicking Emmett roughly on the nose. He shook his head and grinned at me, lightly shoving me away from him.

"Someone's in a good mood," Emmett laughed. Rosalie got up and walked to the kitchen. "Could it be because… someone starting with E who is not me is staying at your house?"

It was. "No."

"Liar." I was.

I grabbed onto his hands and tried pulling him up. He was so heavy he didn't even budge when I used all my strength. That caused him to laugh and jump up himself.

"Sooo," Emmett swung an arm around my shoulders and led us to the kitchen. "Do you still feel the same way for our very own Eddie?"

I sighed. "Yes."

"Naw, Bell, he'll come round. I think he already has, so—"

"As you keep saying…" I rolled my eyes and sat on the stool beside Rosalie. She didn't intimidate me as much as before, after our little argument.

"I only speak the truth and nothing but the truth." Emmett joked and threw a box of Cheerios at me. I tore it open and dug in without any milk.

"Bull shit." I chuckled.

"Isabella, since when do you swear so much?" Emmett's voice took on a fatherly tone. He put his hands on his hips; his mouth full of what I think was a granola bar.

"Since I've been hanging out with you." I retorted with a sly smile.

Emmett bowed, his hands clasped together. "I have taught you well, young grasshopper."

"Oh no, is Emmett taking on the master role?" Jasper rolled into the kitchen, his slight Southern accent seeping into his words. I had to admit, it was charming.

"He sure is." I pushed the box of cereal away, and Jasper took it. "Your tone suggests he shouldn't be."

"He shouldn't." Emmett spoke about himself. "It won't end well."

"Thank God he admits." Jasper grinned and crunched on his Cheerios. "If you're going to learn anything, learn it from the _real _master."

Jasper put down the cereal box and took on some sort of Karate pose with his hands up in front of him. I jumped off my stool and turned to face him, my hands up in front of my face to mirror him.

"You're on, master." I teased, crouching and moving closer to him.

"That's a challenge." Jasper grinned and jumped at me, purposely missing me by a few inches. I ran behind him and jumped onto his back.

"The student beats the master," I teased.

Emmett was in hysterics behind the kitchen counter. Rosalie watched us with a slight smile, which she hid behind her hand.

"Hey, why is my best friend riding my man?" Alice giggled and danced down the stairs, tickling my sides. I fell off Jasper laughing, and she took my place on my back.

I took my seat back on my stool when I felt a set of long fingers rake themselves through my hair from behind. I knew just by the feeling who it was.

"What's this about you riding Jasper?" Edward asked me, pulling my hair over my shoulder and taking the seat beside me.

"Just about the student defeating the master." I shrugged. I looked down at his small bag. "Have you got everything?"

"I think so," He looked up and raised an eye brow. "Is there anything extra you think I'll need?"

Why is he being so suggestive today? It made me heart race and my palms sweat. Was this normal behavior?

"N-no." I mumbled.

"Will your Dad mind if we all rock up at your house some time during these next few days?" Emmett asked, folding his arms.

I shrugged. "He shouldn't. I'll just need to tell him before hand."

I just reminded myself of something – something that happened last night, while Edward was blissfully asleep. That box. That darn wooden box. I desperately needed to ask Edward about that. I'll do it tonight, while we're alone.

"It's getting close to lunch time, you know." Jasper yawned and stood up. "I'd better be getting home. Are you ok to give me a ride, Emmett?"

"Sure. I've got to take Rose home anyway."

Rosalie stood up and walked over to Emmett.

"Alright, well we may as well head to Bella's." I loved it how Alice acted like she lived everywhere she went. It was comforting, in a not-very-rude way.

"Sure." I shrugged.

We all stood up and walked to the door. Edward carefully locked up the house behind him and then led the way to his Volvo. The three of us said goodbye to the others, telling them we'd see them tomorrow.

When we got to my house, Charlie was home. He pulled himself off the couch to welcome our guests and help set up their sleeping arrangements. According to Charlie, Alice and Edward would be sleeping downstairs on the two couches.

"Wait, Dad, maybe Alice could sleep in my room. Then the main room won't seem so crowded." I told my Dad, my arms crossed and looking around our living room. It was a little small.

Charlie raised an eye brow. "And leave Edward down here on his own?"

"I'm fine with wherever I sleep, Mr. Swan," Edward said politely. He was every father's dream date for their daughter. Well, not for me. Charlie didn't seem as thrilled that Edward was staying here as he was about Alice.

"Well, if you want to…" Charlie shrugged and motioned towards the couch. "Welcome home, Edward."

"Thank you, Mr. Swan."

"Call me Charlie."

"Ok, Charlie."

Edward and I exchanged as smile when Charlie went upstairs to grab blankets and pillows. We both knew Edward wouldn't always end up downstairs on the couch, that's for sure. It was never the case. I know I slept better when I had him beside me.

"Alright." Charlie dumped the sheets and turned to Alice and Edward. "I have a few rules for you two, just while you're staying here."

They both waited patiently.

"First of all, Edward, surely you understand if I said I would be uncomfortable if you spent a great deal of time in Bella's room at night." Charlie said gruffly, trying to hide his discomfort at just talking about it. Edward nodded and shot me a smile. "Secondly, I may not be around a lot of the time, so I don't want any shenanigans. That means no parties, friends over I don't know—"

"Ch—I mean, Dad, there won't be any of that." I shook my head. "Esme and Carlisle have taught Edward and Alice manners. They know about all that."

"I know, I know," He held up his hands in defense. "Just making sure. I bet you kids are old enough to know about all that anyway."

"Definitely, Charlie," Alice chimed with a sweet smile. "We won't cause any trouble, I promise."

Charlie was sold. He told us he had to go to work until late tonight, so don't wait up for dinner. When he left I set up a bed for Alice on my floor, after I offered to let her take my bed. She declined.

"I'm fine on the floor," She sat on her makeshift bed. "I have a feeling you won't be sleeping in your bed too often while Edward's here?"

"Well…" I looked into space. "I've got some things I need to discuss with him."

"What things? Like the hidden love affair you have going on?"

I glared at her. "No. Just… something, ok? Keep your little pixie nose out of it."

"Ok, fine," She sighed.

"If I'm not in my bed by midnight, feel free to take it. It's a lot more comfortable than the floor." I winked at her and threw a cushion at her. She threw it back, and it turned into a bit of a game. We spent the next twenty minutes running around my room, throwing pillows. We stopped once I fell into the wall and injured my shoulder.

"What's going on in here?" Edward came in and saw me on the floor. He rushed over and kneeled beside me, holding me carefully. "What happened? Are you ok?"

I think he mistook my laughing for crying, because he looked extremely worried.

"I… I'm fine, just… ran into the… wall!" I tried to control my laughter, and Alice wasn't helping. She stood behind Edward, making funny faces and imitating me.

"Oh, Bella," Edward surprised me when he picked me up off the ground and cradled me to his chest. "You need to be more careful. You know how dangerous being around Alice can be."

The mocking in his voice just made me laugh harder, and him smile wider. He had told me before he loved hearing my laugh, and I guessed that's why he was smiling now.

"Best… friends… don't… carry each… each other…" I choked out in between my fits of laughter. Alice was behind him scraping her hand against her throat, meaning: _No! Don't say that!_

"Don't you like me holding you like this?" He asked, smiling at me with a smile that made my heart melt into butter.

"I—I do, actually, like, a lot, but… ?" Did I really just say that? My, he's makes me say the stupidest things.

"I thought it was great how you stood up to Rosalie yesterday." He walked to my bed and sat down, still holding me in his lap. "Not many people have the guts to do that."

I shrugged. "Well… I didn't mean to. It just sort of… happened, really."

"Well, it should happen again, because it's always fun seeing Rosalie get a taste of her own medicine." Edward chuckled and looked over at Alice. She said she was going downstairs to get a snack, leaving us alone. Once she was gone, he looked down at me, his face serious. "I know there's something you want to talk to me about. So, spit it out."

Damn, he saw right through me. Again.

I crawled off his lap and sat beside him on my bed. He turned towards me until we were both facing each other, cross legged, knee-to-knee.

"Last night…" I began, thinking about lying or backing out. Lying would just get me in trouble, and backing out would send him the wrong message. Looks like I was going to be telling the truth. "While you were asleep, I got up and looked in the wooden box on your dresser."

Now, I understood why his face flushed red and he avoided my eyes.

In his wooden box, was a collection of memories. And not just any old memories – memories of our _friendship._ I saw a Christmas card I made for him when we were five, I found a shell we had found at the beach at La Push, all the post cards I sent to him when my Mom had taken me to Texas for two weeks, not to mention the bracelet I made for him at summer camp. There were countless other things which I didn't find significant; bottle caps, straws, pencils and pens of all shapes and sizes. There were even bits of multi colored paper – and though it didn't mean anything to me, it obviously meant a lot to him. The objects in his box touched my heart, but I was also curious.

"You kept all that?" I asked, leaning down so I could look into his eyes.

"Of course I did," He breathed, still looking down. "Why wouldn't I? You were my best friend. I didn't have any other friends that were girls for a long time. Not until Rosalie in middle school."

I reached over and took his hands. When I squeezed, he didn't squeeze back. "I thought you hated me for staying away."

"I did. But that didn't mean you became anything less to me. In the first few weeks after you left, I went through that box every night, sometimes by myself, sometimes with Alice. We'd talk about our favorite times with you and why they were fun at the time. You may have not done anything like that, but we did. We even imagined what you'd be doing, sometimes. It may sound creepy, but we didn't care. We missed you too much." His voice had turned soft and dream-like. This obviously wasn't easy for him to admit.

"I think… I think I forgot about you because moving away from Forks had been the most painful thing I've ever had to do. I tend to block unpleasant things from my memory. You know that better than anyone." I playfully squeezed his hands and this time, he squeezed back.

"That box is still special to me, you know. Sometimes I go through it and see your name scribbled in purple across a white piece of paper. You had horrible hand writing as an infant." Edward looked up timidly and smiled.

"Hey," I nudged his knee. "I was five. Cut me some slack."

He caught me off guard when he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to mine. We were awfully close now, and I would have done anything to close the distance.

"That box is only some of the memories I've remembered." He whispered, his breath blowing across my face. "There are hundreds more, stored up in my mind. I'll never forget."

I sighed and closed my eyes. "I wish I could say the same. I'm not going to lie."

"You smell the same as you did as a child," He observed, his eyes now closed as well. "You look the same, too. Same hair. Same eyes. Same nose, and same nature."

"Are you surprised I'm the same person?" I bit on my lip, fighting not to open my eyes. If I did, I would no doubt stare at his lips and make the situation awkward.

He chuckled and removed his head from mine. He smiled with me as he spoke, "Tease me all you want. But that's usually Emmett's job. He'll be pissed if he knew you stole it."

**Hoped you liked it (: It may have been a little uneventful, but I think the next few upcoming chapters will be a little more exciting.**

**Please review!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hello again!**

**Thank you so much for all your great reviews! I have loved reading them. Keep 'em coming, guys! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. So now I'm going to go away and cry about it…. oops, I can't right now, I gotta story to write... XD **

Living with Edward was as easy as breathing. We worked around each other, never getting in each other's way or displeasing the other. It was like we were born to share a place; the idea brought a smile to my face.

Alice, on the other hand, wasn't so easy.

She demanded more closet place. She complained about the size of my closet in general. She wanted to redo my bedroom so it doesn't look, as she put it, as "Old lady-like." Edward had told her my room looked fine, and that he didn't want her to change it. They had a twenty minute argument about the furniture in my room alone.

Charlie _adored_ Alice – he treated her like God's gift. Even better than he treated me. Edward on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. Charlie grunted and glared whenever he got the chance. I guessed it was because he remembered the heartbreak I went through when he broke up with me – he didn't know it was all pretend, and he didn't need to.

Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie joined us for dinner one of the three nights. Our small dining room table was crowded with teenagers, as well as a very smothered Charlie. He took in it in stride, just like I'd hoped. He loved talking with Emmett and Jasper about football, and he loved talking with Rosalie about cars. It seemed my friends were better suited to have Charlie as their father than I was.

When Carlisle and Esme returned, Alice and Edward packed up their things and headed back to their house deep in the forest. I was sad to see them go, especially Edward. Something inside me told me he didn't want to leave me, either.

The days after Carlisle and Esme's return were uneventful. We spent every day together, just like we all expected and hoped. We spent the days cooking and watching movies. I preferred it like this – just relaxing. I never got to experience a summer like this when I lived with Renee; she always wanted me to get up and do something with her. I wasn't an outdoors type of girl.

Today, we had decided to spend the afternoon by the pool. Alice had forced me into a bikini, in which didn't suit me in the slightest. Well, I didn't think anything suited me with Rosalie Hale around. She looked like a Victoria's Secret model in whatever she wore.

"I don't remember you enjoying swimming as a child." Edward said to me, where we sat on the edge of the pool with our legs dangling beside each other. Emmett and Jasper were splashing their girlfriends, causing them to squeal happily.

"I didn't." I shrugged and ran my fingers through my damp hair. I was yet to get my head wet. "Where could we swim living in Forks?"

"At my house."

"In case you've forgotten, you installed your pool house _after_ I left." I smiled and nudged his side. I tried to keep my eyes on his body as we spoke. He would think I was a freak if I kept staring down at his chest all day. He didn't seem to have any trouble keeping his eyes off me. "I'm starting to think you did it on purpose."

He chuckled. "Well, you're lucky you came back. Who knows the kind of fun we can have in a pool."

My heart spluttered and then picked up speed. I avoided his eyes now and tried to breathe evenly. He probably didn't mean anything by his comment, but I couldn't help getting all hot and bothered. He must think I'm an idiot.

"Y-yeah." I answered his question, my voice shaky. "Who knows. Maybe we should find out sometime."

He smiled. "Maybe we should."

Was he _trying_ to flirt with me? Or was he doing it without realizing? Because if he was, he was one evil boy. And if he didn't know… well… did I really expect anything less from a Greek God?

"Want to get into the water with me?" He asked, looking perfectly innocent as he slid into the water, not making a splash. Now his body was even closer to mine, and I had to control my breathing.

"Sure." I slid into the water next to him, the water sloshing around my chest. I felt the ends of my hair getting wet and sent chills up my spine.

"Hey Bella." Edward whispered, stepping closer to me. "Don't you want to get that pretty head of yours wet?"

I slowly shook my head. "No. I don't. And I don't plan – Edward!" I was suddenly being lifted into his arms, out of the water. My chest was right in his face, causing me to blush like an idiot. I was getting lifted higher, until my waist out of the water. "Edward, put me down right now! Don't you dare –"

He threw me in, laughing the day away. I came up looking like a drowned rat with a pout on my face. This just made him laugh harder, and when the smile started to slip onto my face, he winked.

"Edward Cullen, that was damn cruel." I folded my arms over my chest and glared at him. "I told you I didn't want to get my hair wet, and what do you do?"

"I got your hair wet?" He smiled like an angel and tried to look innocent. My glare didn't disappear. "Aw, c'mon, Bella. Your hair looks stunning wet."

"Doubtful." I lifted myself onto the edge of the pool and sat myself down. He came to stand in front of me, putting his hands on my knees. My blush spread across my cheeks and I tried not to shake.

"I'm sorry." He looked into my eyes and it was like a switch was turned. He suddenly looked seductive, charming and gorgeous all at the same time – there was no way I was going to win. "You know I didn't mean to make you mad."

"Ok." I breathed, nodding my head.

He grinned in triumph moved his hands so they were on either side of my legs. Jasper, Rosalie, Alice and Emmett had gone silent behind us, which only made my embarrassing situation worse. The attention was enough to make me blush, let alone Edward and I's current position.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, my voice now echoing around the pool room.

"I am… playing with my best friend." He shrugged slightly, his chest now pressed against my knees.

_Playing? PLAYING?_ Did he really feel the need to use that word when it made me feel like I was going to go into cardiac arrest? Everyone around me could see the effect it was having, and no one tried to stop it.

I slowly looked around at each of my friends – Emmett was grinning, Jasper was smirking, Alice looked like she about to break into a happy dance, and Rosalie's glare was enough to burn a hole through my head. I tore my eyes away from hers to look down at Edward's hair.

"This isn't playing." I mumbled, feeling the muscles on his chest with my knees. "This is… ?"

"This is _disgusting._" Rosalie blurted out, causing Edward to turn around and scowl at her. The rest of us stared at her with irritation for interrupting this moment. "Seriously, I feel like I'm going to vomit."

Edward moved away from me, and I could breathe easy. He swam over to Rosalie and pulled her over to the other side of the pool. He then turned to look at all of us.

"If you guys don't mind, I need to speak to Rose alone." He said through his teeth, and we all immediately jumped out of the pool and grabbed towels. We headed inside, and just before we were about to go into the kitchen, Emmett stopped us.

"Guys… come here, you can hear them through the sliding door." Emmett whispered, waving us over. We all wandered over and pressed our ears to the door.

"I know what you're going to say. And let me tell you advance, I don't give a shit." Rosalie said immediately, folding her arms.

"And you know what _I_ don't give a shit about?" Edward spat back. "What you have got to say."

"Of course." Rosalie laughed darkly and shook her head at him. "Of course you'd stand up for her. Because she is your new favorite person. Is that why you're giving her so much attention?"

"Rose… I am not picking favorites between you and Bella. You are my friend. She is my friend. You are both equal."

I felt a sharp pain in my heart. Though I should have accepted this easily, I still found it a little painful. I hoped deep down that there was some chance he liked me better than Rosalie – even if she has been there for him when I wasn't. I wanted us to have a deeper connection then he did with Rosalie. I couldn't lie and say I wasn't jealous. I guess Rosalie and I have more in common than we first thought.

"Equal my ass. You treat her like a Saint while I get tossed into the trash. You barely even acknowledge me anymore. Before she came along, we were close. Now, we're so far away I _feel_ the distance. And it hurts, Edward, it really hurts." Rosalie's voice shook with a nervousness I didn't know she had. Emmett tensed beside me, itching to get out there.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, but that doesn't change how I feel about Bella. She is my friend, and you'll just have to deal with that." He took a deep breath. "On second thought, could you please stop being so mean to her? It really hurts her feelings, and I hate seeing her hurt."

"I won't stop, because I believe in the fact that you don't really like her at all. You pity her, just like before. You're just taking a long time to see it."

"I do not pity her. I like her for who she is. Maybe if you'd stop and listen, you'd know that she has a heart of gold."

Alice, Jasper and Emmett all looked at me with a smile. I couldn't stop myself from grinning in response. His words had warmed me to the core.

Rosalie didn't respond. I wasn't sure if it was because she had nothing to say, or because she didn't _know_ what to say.

"You love her, don't you?" Rosalie suddenly growled, causing the four of us to jump. "That's why you're always standing up for her. It's because you're in love with her."

Now it wasn't Edward's turn not to respond.

"I knew it." There a loud splash, and I assumed it was because Rosalie had slapped the water in anger. "You pussy. How could you let yourself be pushed into this? She's sucked you in just like she sucked in everyone else. I thought you were stronger than that, Edward."

"Just stop, Rosalie!" Edward yelled, causing the rest of us to jump again. I looked up at Alice with worry, to which she just shrugged. "Stop being such a mother effing _bitch_ all the time! All you ever do is try to pull people down and make them miserable! Where do you find the pleasure in that?"

"I don't pull anyone down! I stand for what I believe in, unlike you! You let yourself be pushed around like a fucking toy!"

"A toy? Seriously, Rosalie? Open your damn eyes and smell the roses. Wake up to the real world and for once, just once in your life, try to be a _nice person_!"

I looked at Emmett. He had his fists clenched together, and his teeth locked. I knew watching his girlfriend get yelled at wasn't easy, and I pitied him. If I was with Edward, I would tell him to stop being so angry and take a step back.

Rosalie wasn't finished. "I am damn sick of this, Edward. Make her go away. Hurt her and yell at her and tell her to leave us the hell alone. I don't want her here."

"Well I do. And so does everyone else. So you're just going to have to deal with that."

I heard a series of splashes. Alice, Jasper, Emmett and I quickly scrambled away from the doors and into the kitchen. We pretended to be eating while trying to process the argument that just went down in the pool.

Could everything Edward had said about me be true? Did he really feel that way about me, or was he saying it just for arguments sake? I seriously doubted the first option, so the second one seemed like the right one. The idea saddened me, but I couldn't turn away from it. I was never one to run from the truth.

"Bella, we're going." Edward walked into the kitchen, wrapped in a towel. "Go upstairs and get changed. I'm going to your house."

I frowned and jumped off my stool. I collected my bag from the hallway and used the bathroom on the first floor to change. Once I was done, Edward walked to me and grabbed onto my hand.

"Edward, this your house. You shouldn't have to leave."

"I want to. I don't want to be around Rosalie anymore."

I nodded and followed him out the door. I wanted to say goodbye to the others, but I was secretly afraid Rosalie would be there. I didn't want to face her right now.

"Edward, calm down." When we sat in the Volvo, Edward's hands were pressed hard against the steering wheel. He scowled at the road as he pulled out of the driveway. When he didn't relax, I tried a different tactic. "None of what she said mattered."

"I don't like her speaking that way about you." He said curtly, and then darted his eyes to me. The look on his face told me he hoped I didn't hear that.

"It doesn't matter."

"It _does_ matter, Bella. She isn't allowed to speak that way about any of my friends. If you spoke that way about her, I would be mad too." He hesitated. "On seconds thoughts, maybe I wouldn't be."

"You don't mean that. She's still your friend, and always will be, whether I'm here or not."

"No. Not after this. This is the last straw. I'm just so… so… _sick_ of this!" He slammed his hand into the steering wheel, causing me to jump. I hadn't realized Edward had a temper until now.

"Edward, stop it, you're scaring me." I whispered.

By now, he had parked outside my house. Charlie probably wouldn't be home, seeing as it was only four. I wouldn't want him witnessing Edward's anger.

"I'm sorry." Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. "It's just… she's always been like this. Every time, I've just let it go right over my head. But when she started… saying those things about you…" He shook his head.

I stared at him. His words caused fuzzy warmth in the pit of my stomach. He had barely said anything about me, and my heart was already beating rapidly in my chest. How did he have this effect on me?

"Whatever she said doesn't matter to either of us. Our friendship is about _us,_ not Rosalie." I hadn't thought about my words before I said them. But now that I thought about my own words, they were all impossibly true. Our friendship shouldn't even matter to her as much as it does.

"You're right, and I'm sorry." He breathed, reaching over and entwining his fingers with mine. His touch made me feel better instantly and soon we were breathing in synch. "I shouldn't have lashed out like that."

"It's fine, you were mad…" I shook my head, trying to clear it. "I would've been upset too."

"I was hoping you'd never see me like that. I must have looked like some sort of… monster," He tilted his head to the side and looked at me with a dreamy look in his eyes. I looked back at him, taking a glimpse into his complicated soul.

"You could never be… a monster." I shook my head. "It's impossible."

"No. I am. I hurt the people I care about." He looked into my eyes, and I was seriously concerned about what he was seeing. Anxiety? Worry? The love I felt for him, perhaps?

"You apologized to the person you hurt. They forgave you. And now they're best friends, and… one of the people… actually…" My throat felt like it was about to close up. I couldn't speak anymore words, though God knows I wanted to.

"Actually, what?" He asked me, his eyes suddenly wide.

"Actually, one of the people thinks we should go outside inside of sitting in the other's car." I looked away from him and opened the door. The rain poured down around me, sheeting me in the cold mist. Edward followed me onto the porch, now soaked as well.

"It's wet." I blurted out stupidly, not thinking. I unlocked the door while he laughed.

When we got inside, we both removed out wet coats and hung them on the hook. I watched every move he made, not being able to contain my awe. How did he manage to be so graceful, even when he was only hanging his jacket on a hook?

"Do you want to have something to eat?" I asked him, heading for the kitchen.

"Actually, I'd rather go up to your room."

I took a deep breath and nodded. I led the way up the stairs and he followed me in silence.

"I love your room." He mumbled and walked from the door way to my dresser. He picked up a picture of my mom and I and smiled. "You two look very alike."

"She's prettier than me."

"I disagree."

_Of course he'd disagree_. My heart yelled at me. _Everything that boy says make us CRAZY._

"I see you've calmed down." I observed, standing awkwardly in the middle of my room and biting my lip.

"Being around you makes me very calm." He said quickly, and looked away like he couldn't believe he just said that. It was very cute.

"I'm glad." I walked over and stood beside him. "You make me calm, too."

He smiled and caught a lock of my hair that was blowing in the wind coming in from my window. My breath caught when he tucked it behind my hair, and then let his fingers brush against my cheek.

He pulled away and looked at something behind me. When I turned around, I realized he was looking at my CD player.

"What are you listening to?" He asked, walking past me and opening my CD player. I couldn't remember what I had last been listening to, but he liked what he saw. "Debussy?"

"My Mom sent it to me," I walked towards him. "During her _classical_ phase, I think."

He pressed play, and "Clair De Lune" filled the air. The beautiful sound never failed to make me feel sleepy – it was so calming, so relaxing. When I couldn't sleep as a child, Renee used to play it to me until I fell asleep.

"I love this song." Edward whispered, turning towards me. He took one of my hands in his, and then placed his other hand on my hip. He lightly pulled me towards him and started swaying us from side to side.

I blushed. My heart sped up. My head swam. I couldn't think straight, and knowing me, I'd trip over my own feet and wreck this perfect romantic moment.

He lifted my arm, and I turned to do a little spin. He grinned at me and pulled me close again, pulling us from side to side slowly. I wished I could freeze this moment and keep it in my pocket for later.

"You're a wonderful dancer." He breathed. I knew he was teasing, but I couldn't help blushing even more in response.

"So are you." I replied, pulling away from him and turning off my CD player.

Edward frowned. "What's wrong?"

"If I dance any more, I'm going fall over and cause both of us injury."

He chuckled and shook his head. "Of course, you'd be worried about that. I wouldn't want you hurting yourself, would I?"

I sat down on my bed and he sat beside me. We sat in silence for a moment, and in that moment I realized something – we had made progress today. Him standing up to Rosalie. Us dancing just now. Though it may not seem like much, it was very important.

I found him looking at me. "What are you thinking about?"

"Progress."

"Me too."

We both stared at each other, not being able to turn away. I was caught in the trap that was his emerald green eyes, and nothing in the world could make me look away. The whole world could have exploded around us and we wouldn't have known.

Before I knew what was happening, he was getting closer. His eyes were half closed and watching me, as I myself started to get closer to him. Our noses touched, and it occurred to me what we were about to do.

"Bella?" Charlie's voice rang up the stairs, and Edward quickly jerked away.

I cursed my Father for his bad timing. "Yeah, Dad, I'm in my room."

Edward sat on my desk chair on the other side of the room. I wasn't sure if it was because he was ashamed of what we almost did, or because he didn't want to get in trouble with Charlie.

Charlie clomped up to my room. His eyes widened when he saw Edward. "Uh, hey Edward. I didn't know you were coming over today."

"I invited him over to help me move my… bed." I stuttered.

My _bed_? Was I an idiot?

Edward was looking at me like I had gone insane. Out of all the lies I could have said, why did I have to say _that one_?

Charlie's face seemed to get redder within seconds. I was just… well, I was becoming a different kind of red.

"Well, your bed is moved, so it's time to get a move on." Charlie said, glaring at Edward with his hand on his belt. I was grateful he had removed his gun when he was downstairs.

"I'm sorry, sir." Edward got up and looked over at me. "Bye, Bella."

"Bye." My voice came out a breathy whisper.

Once we heard the door slam, Charlie turned to look at me. He looked mad. "Bella, could you please explain to me why Edward was in your room when I wasn't home?"

"He was just helping me out, Dad." I grumbled, awkwardly fumbling with a loose thread on my blouse. "It's not a big deal. Don't go all rash on me."

"I won't. But… well… the way Edward looks at you... it makes me uncomfortable." He looked down, avoiding my eyes. I suppose I had inherited that trait from my Dad.

I frowned in confusion. "How does he look at me?"

"Well... like... ?" He couldn't seem to finish his sentence without having disgust in his voice. "I don't know how to explain it exactly, but... Like you're his... _savior_, or something."

I turned away from him to hide my blush. "Don't be stupid Dad, he does not."

"I know that look when I see it. And trust me, he does. But you have to be careful with that boy. To me, he screams trouble."

"He's a good guy." I felt the need to defend Edward. "He's no trouble whatsoever. We're really good friends, now."

"That's good, I guess, but I wouldn't want him getting too close." Charlie chuckled and then shuffled into his room. I was left gasping in my room, remembering Edward and I's near kiss.

x-x-x-x

I didn't see Edward for another two days after that. He went to Emmett's for the weekend, and Alice came to my house. Charlie welcomed her back with open arms, and even welcomed Jasper to stay as well as long as it was ok with Carlisle and Esme. It was absolutely fine.

"So," Alice crossed her legs and faced Jasper. It was midnight, and for some reason, we were still awake. "Tell us all the Edward/Emmett gossip. The stuff you guys do during boy time."

"There isn't much." Jasper smiled and pulled Alice into his lap. I sat on my own at the end of my bed, leaning on the head board. "Seriously, Emmett is an idiot, and Edward is confused."

Alice looked at me and then back at Jasper. "Confused?"

"Yeah. He doesn't seem to know how to act around B –" He stopped mid sentence and looked at me. "I don't think I was supposed to say that."

Alice giggled. "Well, feel free to tell us anything about _Edward._ I'm sure Bella is dying to know!"

I was. "No, I'm not."

"You are too. Look at your blush." Jasper chuckled.

"Want to know something? Edward just bought a bottle of the shampoo Bella uses." Alice shrilled, grinning like Cheshire cat.

I almost choked. "He _what_?"

"I'm not kidding. I don't know if he's actually going to use it, or just sniff it all day long. It's kinda cute." Alice said and Jasper threw his head back and laughed.

"It's probably just a coincidence." I tried to seem like I didn't care with a shrug. The truth was, I cared so much it hurt me.

"No coincidence." Alice and Jasper shook their heads. "We've both caught him with it, haven't we Jaz?"

"Sure have." Jasper nodded. "And can I just say, when Rose saw him with it… she looked like she was about to explode. Or burst into the incredible Hulk."

Now it was _my _turn to throw my head back and laugh. Though it was mean, (and I would've have the same reaction if I saw Edward with Rosalie's shampoo) it was extremely funny. Imagining the stunning Rosalie turning into something ugly and green was like music to my ears.

As soon as I had the thought, I felt guilty.

"I think we're all so tired we're delirious," I laughed, crawling to the top of my bed. I waved my arm in the direction of the make-shift bed on the floor. "You two get down there. And if I hear anything I don't want to, I'm going to kick you out."

Alice and Jasper laughed and moved to the floor. I curled up under my covers, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. I switched off the light on my night stand blindly and sighed.

"Goodnight, guys." I mumbled with a yawn.

"Night Bella." They said in synch.

I was having the weirdest dream; I felt like I was being shaken, from side to side and then up and down. Someone was holding onto my shoulders, and telling me to "Wake up Bella!".

Wait.

My eyes snapped open, and I screamed.

Emmett was above me, shaking my shoulders. His stark white teeth and wide grin reminded me of a clown, and I kicked and thrashed until he let go. "Emmett, get off me!"

"Emmett," Edward's song-like voice rang in my head, and suddenly Emmett was replaced by Edward. He hovered over me, a huge smile on his face. "Wake up, Bella!"

I covered my face with my eyes. "How the hell did you guys get in here?"

"Charlie let us in." He answered, pulling my hands away from my face and touching a loose strand of hair stuck to my cheek. "You look tired."

"I am! Its –" I looked at my alarm clock and gasped. "Seven-thirty in the morning!"

"Sure is." Edward nodded and took hold of my wrists from under the blankets. He pulled me up into a sitting position, and I looked around my room. Everyone was here; even Rosalie. Great. Now everyone was going to have to see me with haystack hair and morning breath.

"Let go of me," I grumbled, pulling my hands from his grasp though I knew I loved it. "Move." I shoved past him and stumbled to the bathroom. Before I closed the door, I heard Emmett mutter, "Somebody isn't a happy camper."

I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and then pulled a brush through my hair. I could hear the others talking and laughing in my room, and I cursed my beautiful friends for being so upbeat even in the morning.

I came out, and when Edward tried to hug me in apology, I pushed past him and walked to my dresser. I pulled out an elastic band and tied my hair into a pony tail.

"Somebody isn't a morning person." Edward observed, with a cocky smile on his glorious face. I realized he looked even better early in the morning.

"No, I'm not." I folded my arms and frowned at all of them. Why was that Alice and Jasper looked so _normal _in the morning while I looked like a hag? "Not when my friends load into my room uninvited."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did we interrupt you having a dream of Edward?" Emmett grinned at me and nudged Edward's side. He slapped him on the back of the head and I just looked down and blushed.

"You're an idiot." Edward grumbled as everyone laughed. He then smiled at me apologetically. I just shrugged.

"Ok, remind me not to wake Bella up again. She's turns into Bitchy-Bella." Emmett snorted as he laughed.

I rolled my eyes and pushed past them to get downstairs. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a box of Cheerios and some milk. I made myself cereal then sat down at the table to eat.

"Spoon." I muttered with a shake of my head. I went to the dishwasher and bent down to grab a spoon.

I felt a light pinch on either side of my hips, and jumped up with a squeal. Edward was standing behind me, grinning like a maniac. He held up a spoon in front of him. "I got you covered."

I grabbed the spoon off him, my face reddening. He had pinched my _hips_. Isn't that something... _couples _do? Not that I was complaining. I loved the contact. "Thanks."

I sat back down, and he sat across from me. He watched me eat.

"Um… do you want some?" I asked, swallowing loudly.

He smiled and shook his head. "No thank you. I already ate."

I nodded and continued. We sat in silence, and I wondered why Edward had come down here alone. The others were still in my room, probably trashing the place.

Just when I thought we were alone, Rosalie descended the stairs.

She didn't acknowledge me, only sat down beside Edward at the table. Edward glared at her, looking into her eyes, trying to determine her next move.

"What do you want, Rose?" Judging by his tone, he had not forgiven her for the incident in the pool.

"I've come to make a deal with you." Rosalie still pretended I wasn't there. Was I invisible to her? I dropped my spoon and watched.

"Which is?" Edward asked in confusion.

"I'm giving you a week to choose. I don't care how you do it, but it's unavoidable."

Edward was became even more confused. "What do you mean?"

"I'm asking you to make a choice. Either I go, or _she _goes."

**A/N: Well. Ending with an ultimatum. Who will Edward choose? Drop me a review and let me know ;)**

**Next chapter may not be until next week. Only because of my parents stupid rules -.- Please forgive me! And…**

**Please review =) **


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: Omigod. I can't even begin to describe how happy I was from getting your reviews! They all made my day, and I really enjoyed reading them. Thank you so much, everyone =)**

**This chapter was inspired by runemagic. Thanks so much =)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. That would be Stephanie Meyer. **

x-x-x-x

Edward stared at Rosalie. I stared at Rosalie. Rosalie stared at Edward. It seemed like time had stopped, even if only for a few minutes – neither of us knew exactly what to do. Edward looked appalled. Rosalie looked smug. I looked… well, I wasn't sure how I looked, but I knew I felt sick.

"How could you be so cruel?" Edward broke the silence. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "How could you do this?"

"Do what?" Rosalie still hadn't acknowledged me. She was looking at Edward innocently with an impish smile on her face. How was she smiling at a time like this? "This is what had to be done. Like I said, unavoidable."

"Nothing is unavoidable." Edward stood up out of his chair, sending it flying backwards. His hands were clenched and he spoke through his teeth. "I told you the other day. You are my friend. Bella is my friend. There is no way around that, and you can't change it."

Rosalie shrugged. "I can change whatever I want."

"You don't have that right." Edward seemed to forget I was there, or he at least didn't want to look at me. His eyes were focused on Rosalie and he looked like he could rip her head off.

"If you were really my friend, you would agree with me." She stood up as well, and her chair slid across the floor with a loud screech. "_You're _the one in the wrong here. So don't you dare turn this around on me."

"It's all about you, isn't it Rosalie?" He snarled at her, leaning closer until he was in her face. I wanted to tell him to calm down, but I couldn't find my mouth. "It's always about you."

"There you go again. Turning it around on me like the traitor you are."

There were the sounds of feet coming down the stairs, and the three of us instantly snapped our heads up to see Emmett, Jasper and Alice walk into the kitchen. They quickly took in the scene and understood right away.

"Edward, just take a step back." Emmett moved in right away, putting a hand on Edward's chest and starting to push him back. He looked at Rosalie and raised an eye brow. "You ok?"

"I'm _fine_." She hissed. Emmett stared at her with confusion and concern. I still sat limply in my chair, my half eaten cereal in front of me. Jasper and Alice caught sight of me, and quickly walked over.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Alice asked me, taking my hand and squeezing it tightly.

"I… I'm ok…" I mumbled, shaking my head, attempting to clear it. It didn't do the trick. "I don't know what happened."

"_Rosalie_ happened." Edward looked down at me, and his eyes softened. He stared at me with sad eyes and a down turned mouth. "I'm so sorry you had to see that, Bella… are you alright?"

I crunched my teeth together to stop the tears that I knew were about to form. "I'm fine. Are you ok?"

"I'm just fine." He smiled slightly at me, and reached out a hand. I lightly touched my hand to his and then pulled back when I caught Rosalie's expression in the corner of my eye.

"I think you two need some time apart." Jasper said, looking between Rosalie and Edward. "Edward, I'm going to take you home. Emmett, you take Rosalie."

Emmett nodded, and led Rosalie out of the kitchen. She shot me one last terrifying glare as she passed, and I cringed into Alice for support.

"I don't want to leave Bella." Edward said, stepping away from the wall to look at Jasper. We all turned to look at him, some of us with surprise. Alice looked smug beside me. "Let me stay with her. I just need to talk to her."

Jasper looked at me. "Are you ok with that, Bella?"

_Of course. That's exactly what I want._ "Yes, that's fine."

Jasper and Alice stood up. Alice squeezed my shoulder before dancing out of the kitchen, with Jasper close in tow. That left Edward and I alone, in my yellowed kitchen that seemed too shabby for his presence.

He smiled slightly and walked over to me. "I'm really sorry that happened. She just… what she said… it… ?"

I nodded. "I understand. You're going to pick her." I took a deep breath so I wouldn't cry. It didn't work. "It's… it's fine…"

He reached over and took both of my hands in his. He waited until I had control of my emotions before he spoke. "I never said that. The fact that she even _suggested_ that makes me want to pick you instantly. You are so much better than her. I refuse to –"

"I think you should pick her." I forced myself to look up at him with wide, tear filled eyes. His touch was already making me dizzy, and the tears didn't help. "She's been there for you when I haven't. You're closer to her. You care for her more."

"Bella, sweetheart." He squeezed my hands and leaned closer. My heart hammered because of his affectionate words. "Don't think like that. None of what you just said was true. You mean the world to me, you know that."

"But she means _more_." My voice broke on the last word. Any other time, I would've laughed, but I couldn't find it in me. "I could never compare. I mean… she's _Rosalie_."

"Her being _Rosalie_ doesn't mean a thing." He sounded angrier now; he was squeezing my hands harder as he spoke. "Her being _Rosalie_ means so much less than you being _Bella._"

I looked up at him; I couldn't even imagine what I must have looked like. Teary, red eyes. Flaming cheeks. Shaking lip. I looked like a mess. "You think so?"

"I _know _so." He smiled slightly, leaning over the table until his forehead was almost pressed to mine. I was reminded of our near-kiss just a few days ago, and my heart picked up speed in my chest. For some reason, I feared he could hear it. "Please, believe me. I hate seeing you like this."

I pulled my hand away from his to wipe my eyes. He pushed my hair off my face and tucked it behind my ear. I smiled gratefully at him, and he smiled back.

_This is what best friends are for._ I thought to myself. _They'll always be there as your shoulder to cry on._ _Even if they're the one you're crying about._

x-x-x-x

Edward and I spent the rest of the day and then the next night together. Charlie didn't know he stayed the night, of course – after Edward stayed for dinner, he pretended to leave, when he was really waiting at the tree outside my window. Once Charlie had fallen asleep, Edward climbed the tree and came into my room.

"This must be breaking some sort of rule." Edward chuckled, as he came to sit on the bed beside me. I was lying on one side, leaving enough room for him on the other. He stretched out beside me, but didn't touch me.

"Yes, it's called Charlie's rule." I smiled and twisted my bracelet around my wrist. "Just to let you know, if we get caught, I may never see you again."

"I'm willing to take a risk." He grinned and let his head fall on the pillow behind him. I cursed myself for not replacing my small bed sooner. We both barely fit. "Even if it gets me in trouble."

"It's not you I'm worried about." I shook my head and closed my eyes. "If Charlie knew… ?"

"I know." Edward nodded. "It's not like we're doing anything we're not allowed. You're sitting there. I'm sitting here. Well, more like lying."

I let my head fall onto his shoulder. I was shocked to feel him take my hand and run his thumb over my fingers. It was an incredibly soothing gesture… if it didn't make my heart want to jump out of its chest.

I pulled my hand away from him. "I can't go to sleep when you do that."

He chuckled. "Me either. Maybe this will be all little more relaxing." He rolled onto his side and started stroking my hair. My eyes slipped closed once again, and I took a deep breath. "Is that better?"

"It's good." I mumbled. I let him stroke my hair until I fell asleep, and I didn't dream.

In the morning, I woke up early. I could hear Charlie wondering around the house, making a heck of a lot of noise with his heavy boots. It was Thursday, so I knew he'd be going to work soon. I rolled over to warn Edward, but he wasn't there.

"Edward?" I whispered, looking around my room. He was nowhere to be seen. Had he left? Deserted me, though he promised he'd stay? I could already feel myself becoming upset.

The door opened. "Bella?" Charlie's head appeared in my room, peeking through the crack in the door. My head whipped to his, and he looked at me with confusion. "Did you just say something?"

"I was sleep talking, I think." I rubbed my eyes. "Are you heading off to work?"

"Yeah. I came to see if you were awake so I could say goodbye."

I nodded. "Oh. Well… I'll see you tonight, I guess."

"See you later, Bells." Charlie closed my door, and I waited until I heard the door slam before I called out his name again. "Edward, are you here?"

My closet door opened, and Edward stepped out. Surprised, I started to laugh. He walked over to me, his clothes disheveled and his hair messy. I couldn't stop laughing – it was so cliché. He hid in my closet until my Dad left the house. I found the concept hilarious.

He sat on the bed in front of me and started to tickle my sides. I fell back, laughing even harder, the tears falling from my eyes. He laughed with me, happy tears in his eyes.

"I can't believe you just did that!" I forced out of my mouth, though I couldn't stop laughing. "It's so… ?"

"I know, it's predictable. I spent most of the night wondering where I could hide. It was either your closet or under your bed." He grinned. "And after taking one look under there, I immediately decided against it."

"Well, I'm sorry." I giggled and let the blush spread across my cheeks. "If you're going to be staying over more often, I'll have to make a better hiding spot for you."

"That would be greatly appreciated." He nodded like the Southern gentlemen he wasn't, causing me to giggle again. He smiled at the sound and then held out his hand. "Breakfast time?"

"Ok." I let him pull me up and then tow me downstairs. He prepared pop tarts for us while I sat at the dining room table, remembering what had happened here only yesterday morning. The images I was getting instantly killed my happy mood.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked, placing a plate with two pop tarts in front of me. He had the same. "Do you feel ok?"

"I feel fine." I sighed. "It's just… about yesterday… it still bothers me. I still worry."

"Of course you do. How insensitive of me." He shook his head and looked up to meet my eyes. "Here I was, pretending everything was fine, when you were –"

"It's not your fault. You're doing great." I smiled at him and took a bite of my breakfast. He watched me chew with curiosity. I hoped I didn't have anything around my face or in my teeth when I spoke. "Are you going to eat, or sit and watch me?"

He smiled. "I think I'm going to eat."

We both ate in silence. I remembered Rosalie's words in my head…

_Either I go, or she goes._

_If you were really my friend, you would agree with me._

_This is what had to be done. Like I said, unavoidable._

I wanted to cry. I wanted to yell and scream at Rosalie for making this so difficult. Being friends with someone like Edward shouldn't be this _hard._ It wouldn't be if Rosalie wasn't around. I imagined a life without Rosalie interfering – and I felt myself lost in it. Drowning happily.

"Bella." Edward brought me back to Earth. He took my plate and cleaned it, then put it back into the cupboard. He took my hand and led me back upstairs. "Get dressed. We're going out today."

"_Out_?" I asked, collecting my jeans and a t-shirt. "Where are we going?"

"Hiking." He answered with a smile. He pinched my sides like he had yesterday and then gave me a light shove into the bathroom.

I changed quickly and then returned to him. He told me to grab two bottles of water and a compass, if I had one. I found one collecting dust in the drawer of Charlie's nightstand, and then packed two bottles of water.

"Do you mind if we take your truck?" He asked me, as we walked down the stairs of my porch.

I shrugged. "Sure. But I'm driving."

He frowned. "Why can't I drive?"

"Because you'll kill my senior citizen." I laughed and pulled open the rusty door. We both climbed in and I started the truck. "So, where to exactly?"

"Take the one-oh-one north." Edward told me. I nodded and pulled out of the driveway.

"So, are you going to tell me about this mystery outing?" I asked him as we drove.

He shook his head. "It's a nice spot my Dad and I found one day when we were hiking. I think you'll like it."

We rode the rest of the drive in silence. Edward directed me to pull over onto a dirt road, and I complied. He took my bag for me and we headed towards the trail.

"Thank God. If there wasn't a trail, I think I –" Edward started to walk away from the clear path and towards a not-so-clear path covered in leaves and ferns. "Uh, Edward, I'll probably fall over and die."

"I'll be here to help you." He smiled and took my hand. We started to walk, and in the first few minutes, I had already tripped twice. Edward laughed the first time, but the second time he started to worry.

"Maybe this wasn't a good idea. I don't want to bring you back to Charlie injured."

"It's fine." I brushed off my jeans which were already grass stained. "I'll be ok."

Edward sighed and pushed my backpack onto both of his shoulders. Before I knew what was going to happen, he hooked his arm under my knees and around my back.

"Edward, bridal style isn't exactly suitable for a hike." I scowled at him, worried _he_ would be the one to get injured while he carried me. I wasn't exactly as light as your average backpack. "You'll hurt yourself."

"No I won't." We were already walking with ease through the forest, passing the massive Pine trees and bristling ferns swaying in the breeze. I wrapped my arms around his neck so I wouldn't fall, and he smiled. I was glad I wasn't annoying him.

"We'll be there soon." He told me, after fifteen minutes of walking.

"Now I'm curious. Are you sure you're not tricking me into some sort of trap? You're going to bury me in the woods, aren't you."

He threw his head back and laughed. "How did you know? I thought I hid it so well."

"You're a terrible liar, Edward Cullen." We smiled at each other until we reached a wall of nothing but branches and leaves. "Oops. Dead end."

He shook his head and put me down. He wrapped an arm around my waist and walked into the branches and leaves first. He held the foliage off me while I walked through, because knowing me, I would no doubt get a scrape or two.

When I stepped through the foliage, I froze in place. In front of me, was a small circle-shaped meadow. The small space was sprinkled with multi colored flowers – yellow, white, and purple. The meadow had a bluish glow, which was mesmerizing. This looked more like one of those places from a national geographic magazine that you always hope to see, but probably never do. I couldn't turn away.

"You like it?" Edward leaned down to whisper in my ear. He hadn't moved his arm from around my waist.

"I _love_ it." I smiled, my eyes still wide and glazed. He chuckled and pulled me further inside. I was afraid if I tainted this beautiful place, it would be forever spoiled. I tended to do that to beautiful things.

"I come here on my own, sometimes." He told me, letting go and walking forward. He stood in the middle of the meadow, and I wanted to snap a picture. The scene was more stunning than anything I could ever think of. "It's very peaceful, don't you think?"

"Very." I nodded, taking a few steps towards him. He held out his hand to me, and I graciously took it. He pulled me towards him, an angelic smile on his face.

"I've wanted to bring you here sooner. But I felt like now was the right time." He told me quietly. I looked up at him, my hair blowing around my face. It was incredibly windy today.

Just as I had that thought, a light rain-mist started sprinkling down around us. Edward nor I didn't mind in the slightest – the rain was refreshing.

"This place always look nice when it rains." He said with a sigh. "It seems so much more… magical."

I nodded. I didn't want to speak in case I disturbed the silence. His voice fit in just right here, unlike mine. My voice sounded like a steam train.

"Why won't you say anything? Do you want to go home?" Edward asked me softly. I looked up at him, into his sad eyes.

"Edward," I breathed. "We need to talk."

He sighed and squeezed my hand. I sat down on the wet grass, and he followed. I pulled my legs up to my chest and rested my chin on my knees. He let his long legs stretch out in front of him, and closed the distance. We sat shoulder to shoulder leg to leg.

"Tell me you hate me. Tell me you want me to go away and never talk to me again. It would stop me from ever hurting you again." Edward said suddenly, avoiding my eyes. He looked down, his green eyes vacant and unseeing.

"I'm not going to tell you that." I leaned over my knees so I could see his face. It was twisted in pain. "I would never tell you that. I couldn't. Please, don't say that again."

"I string Rosalie along. I lead _you_ on. Why wouldn't I say that again when it's the truth?" He shrugged, still avoiding my face. "It would be the right thing to do."

"Right and wrong is overrated." I mumbled. "No one can determine which is right and which is wrong, even if they have had every experience. Your opinion is the only one that matters."

"Rosalie is wrong." Edward spoke through his teeth. He took a deep breath to calm himself down. "And I am wrong. There is no right."

"Two wrongs make a right."

"Not in this case. The only thing that could ever be right is if you told me you didn't want me. So, go ahead and say it. Do the right thing."

I shook my head. "I can't. I can't do that to you. Please don't make me."

He sighed and closed his eyes. He rolled his head to the side and rested it against mine, his breathing slow and even. I closed my eyes with him, and waited until our breathing was in synch. That was when I felt like we were one.

"I need you to choose Rosalie over me." I whispered.

Silence. Nothing but the wind and the rain washing over our already wet bodies. It was maddening.

"Please. _That_ is the right thing to do. If you choose me, then she will leave, and Emmett, Jasper and Alice will all be miserable. Making me upset is more important than making _three_ people upset. I couldn't live with myself if I had to watch their faces twist with pain every time I saw them. I…" My throat choked up and I couldn't speak anymore.

"And I couldn't live myself if I had to see _your_ face twisted in pain every day."He spoke after minutes of silence. "I'd rather make _three_ people upset than _you_ upset."

I looked away, anxiously biting my lip; I wasn't sure what to say to that. I eventually looked up at him, my cheeks red and my voice faltering. "That… it'll be better for both of us if you choose her. Please."

He looked back at me, staring deep into my eyes. I felt so exposed, I self consciously pulled my legs closer to my chest. He soon looked away, frowning.

"We should be getting back soon." He mumbled, looking pained. I leaned closer to him and wrapped an arm around him, resting my head on his shoulder. He didn't flinch away from my touch like he used to; he sighed with me.

"Things were easier when we were seven, weren't they?"

"They were." I laughed, closing my eyes. "So, so much easier."

He sighed and rested his head on mine. Any on looking hikers would think we were couple; my stomach warmed at the thought. I would have loved to lean up and kiss his jaw, but I used all my will power not to. When I peeked up at him, his eyes were trained on me, and I could tell by his stiff position he was trying to look away.

"We should go." He repeated, this time standing up and starting to walk away from me. He held out his arms, and I walked over to him and jumped into them. He carried me all the back to my truck, not muttering one word. It seemed his mood had switched, and I was puzzled as to why.

I drove him home, and then drove back to my house. I wondered if he would be sneaking into my room again tonight – one part of me doubted it, but the other part really, _really_ hoped he would.

The afternoon passed slowly. I felt unusually joyful – I wanted to talk to Charlie and make him his favorite meal. I also got all the washing done and made all the beds. This is something I only ever do if I'm in a good enough mood – so, typically, Charlie was suspicious.

"What's going on?" He asked me, over our dinner of tacos and burritos. He seemed to be too focused on his food to look at me.

"Nothing." I said, a little puzzled myself. Though I felt like I was glowing, there was a patch of deep despair lurking under the surface. I wondered if it would ever show its ugly head.

"Hm." Charlie mumbled, as he finished his fourth taco.

After dinner that night, I watched baseball with Charlie until nine. When I had had enough, I walked upstairs, hoping Edward would magically appear just like he always did. Instead, I found my phone vibrating on my nightstand.

I picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hello, Bella." It was Rosalie. Her voice stunned me into silence.

"Uh…" I shook my head, trying to clear it. "Did you just call me to say hello… ?"

She scoffed, though it still managed to sound like bells. "God no. Why would I want to say hello to you? Anyway, I called to tell you something."

She sounded smug. She sounded on top of the world. But why? "… what is it?"

"I win."

The line went dead.

**A/N: Hey guys, what do you say we try and get to 150 + reviews? I know this chapter was short, but I have ALL weekend to update. Yay (: **

**Please review! **


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: As you guys wished, I'm getting straight down to writing again. This story is my main focus, but my other story, "The Way It Should Be." Is still underway. Just moving a little slowly. (to make room for this story, of course ;) **

**A lot happens in this chapter. Sorry if it gets too extreme, I just had a lot to write… and of course, who doesn't want Edward and Bella to make a quick reunion? (not that any reunions happen in this chapter, btw). **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight… Steph Meyer does. :/**

* * *

I had _wanted _this. I had _told_ him to do this. So, if I had that choice, why was I feeling like my heart was just ripped out of my chest and shoved down my throat? The answer: I had no goddamn idea.

The phone dropped out of my hand. I imagined Rosalie's proud face in my mind; her perfect lips pulled up into a triumphant smile, with her leather-clad arms folded together and holding her head up high. The image made me look down as the tears filled – but they were tears of sadness. They were tears of _rage._

Pure hatred. The kind of hatred that makes you want to destroy something. That thing happened to be my bedside lamp; I smashed my fist into the side, sending it flying into the wall at a million miles an hour. In a matter of minutes, Charlie ran upstairs and watched me with wide eyes.

"What happened? Who's in here? Has anyone hurt you?" He held up his fists, as if in a defensive position. If only he knew… the person that hurt me wasn't here, though they had just ripped my heart out of my chest and crushed in their cold, emotionless hands.

"I'm _FINE_!" I growled, putting both my hands on my hips. "Just because I don't get angry very often, doesn't mean I'm _not allowed_!" I continued to scream, while Charlie just stood there in awe. "Get out! I want to be alone!"

Charlie quickly rushed out of the room and shut the door behind him. I let out a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Angry tears had mashed with the depressed ones; and now I couldn't tell which was which. The thought just made me angrier – I needed a stress ball, or something.

I settled for a shower. I stomped into the shower and _angrily_ turned on the water. Then, I _angrily_ washed myself and then_ angrily_ dried off. I _angrily_ got dressed into sweat pants and a singlet and then I _angrily_ crawled under the covers and closed my eyes. As it seemed, my anger had completely died down – only to be replaced with a crippling betrayal and a broken heart.

* * *

In the morning, I didn't feel. I had breakfast on my own and read the morning paper; I even cleaned my room and remade my bed. When lunch time arrived, I couldn't find any good food to eat. I hadn't been shopping in a while – so I decided to go to the grocery store and stock up on supplies.

I grabbed my coat and set out into the rain. I was about to get into my truck when a certain silver car pulled in behind my own car, stopping me cold.

Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Edward and Rosalie all filed out. They stood in a line in front of me, and I felt momentarily cornered – the only thing that comforted me was the soft looks on their beautiful faces.

"Bella, I –" Edward stepped forward and broke the silence.

"_**Don't**__._" I held out my hand, stopping him in his tracks.

I remembered what we had done just yesterday; sitting in that beautiful meadow, discussing right and wrong. Carrying me through the forest and rubbing soothing circles on my hand. Sneaking into my room the night before. All these thoughts made me angrier – I could feel the angry tears, already.

"Don't you dare touch me!" I exploded, backed against my truck. "How could you… have the nerve to come here! After what you've _done_!"

"You stupid bitch." Rosalie stepped forward, standing next to him and pointing her manicured finger in my face. "How could you not have expected this? Are you really that _idiotic_!"

"Rose." Edward glared at her.

"Oh, _Rose_ this, and _Rose _that!" I waved my arms around, and then raked my fingers anxiously through my hair. "I don't want this, Edward. Take you little gang of followers and just leave."

I turned away from them, pulling open the door of my truck and climbing inside. I shoved the keys into the ignition and jerked them to the side.

"Bella." Edward appeared at the door. "Bella, don't do this. You wanted this. You told me yourself, I –"

I ignored him, pulling out of the driveway and speeding down the road. He walked onto the road behind me, holding out his arms. I tried to keep my eyes off the review mirror, but I could still see him out of the corner of my eye. My chest heaved, one hand pressed to my mouth and one pressed to the steering wheel. I started to cry, though I had promised I wouldn't. I _begged_ myself not to.

I went to the grocery store. I wheeled my trolley around the huge store and filled it quickly. I must have looked like a psycho, walking through the supermarket with a tear stained face and puffy eyes.

_You can cry later. _I told myself. _Make it through this day._

I made it home (where _they _were gone) and restocked the pantry. Afterwards, I stood in the kitchen, not knowing what to do with myself. My arms hung loosely at my side and my knees slightly bent. I was the pinnacle of useless. Unwanted. Not _needed._

All I wanted was to be _needed._

I stood like that until the sun began to set. I watched the sun move across the kitchen floor as the day came to a close and was replaced by the night. Eventually, Charlie came home and found me. He put an arm around me and led me up to my bed, where he tucked the covers around my body and stroked my hair (just like he did) until I fell into a dreamless sleep.

I woke up as the sun was setting the next day. I had slept for almost a ridiculously long time– was that normal? It can't be. There was something wrong with me. I was _wrong_.

This was all so pointless. I didn't even know why I was so upset – I had sacrificed myself for Rosalie and Edward's friendship. I had told him to pick her. Told him to leave me behind. Then… why was I feeling so broken?

Because I had never meant what I said. All that stuff about right and wrong I told Edward about – it was all wrong. Two wrongs don't make a right. Your opinion doesn't matter. No matter what happens, or what situation you're in… _what you think doesn't matter. _

Life was a game. Cat and mouse. Chasing your tail until you finally get what you want, (even if it may never come). In most cases… forever stretches out in front of you in an endless challenge called _life_. You may never win, but you may never lose. There is never an in between.

I didn't see or speak to Edward, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper and Emmett for another month after that day. No calls. No visits. I had rid my room of everything that reminded me of _him_. There were no reminders, and no painful memories. I struggled to remember his face, though it hurt. I hated him, but I never wanted to _forget_.

I didn't do much in that month. I stayed locked up in my room, only leaving for the essentials, like going to the bathroom or getting a drink. I hardly ate, and Charlie knew it. He had talked of taking me to a specialist; he thought I was depressed. As soon as the idea came out of his mouth, I kicked and screamed until he promised never to force me. He didn't.

Every day for that month, I got a letter. No names were signed, the hand writing unfamiliar. Sometimes it was typed, but that was rare. Every morning I walked outside, expecting to see this letter jammed into my letter box. I considered not opening it, but always caved.

After the first few days, I realized these letters were filled with song lyrics. The latest one, for example. I didn't recognize the song, but the lyrics were especially familiar…

I never dreamed you'd leave in summer  
I thought you would go then come back home  
I thought the cold would leave by summer  
But my quiet nights will be spent alone

You said there would be warm love in springtime  
That was when you started to be cold  
I never dreamed you'd leave in summer  
But now I find myself all alone

You said then you'd be the life in autumn  
Said you'd be the one to see the way  
I never dreamed you'd leave in summer  
But now I find my love has gone away

Why didn't you stay?

I had thrown the first one in the trash. I didn't want it – what was I supposed to do? Keep it tucked in my little bag full of memories? No. I couldn't. But as they became a daily thing… I started to keep them in the drawer where my jeans were kept.

This morning, it was chilly for a summer morning. I slipped on a pair of light blue jeans and a t-shirt. Both sets of clothes were too big on me, now – but they would do for my trip to the mailbox.

I pulled the letter out and ripped it open. I quickly unfolded it, and my eyes desperately scanned over the unfamiliar hand writing.

I know you're somewhere out there  
Somewhere far away  
I want you back  
I want you back  
My neighbors think  
I'm crazy  
But they don't understand  
You're all I have  
You're all I have

At night when the stars  
light up my room  
I sit by myself

Talking to the Moon  
Try to get to You  
In hopes you're on  
the other side  
Talking to me too  
Or am I a fool  
who sits alone  
Talking to the moon

I'm feeling like I'm famous  
The talk of the town  
They say  
I've gone mad  
Yeah  
I've gone mad  
But they don't know  
what I know

Cause when the  
sun goes down  
someone's talking back  
Yeah  
They're talking back

At night when the stars  
light up my room  
I sit by myself  
Talking to the Moon  
Try to get to You  
In hopes you're on  
the other side  
Talking to me too  
Or am I a fool  
who sits alone  
Talking to the moon

Do you ever hear me calling?  
Cause every night  
I'm talking to the moon  
Still trying to get to you

In hopes you're on  
the other side  
Talking to me too  
Or am I a fool  
who sits alone  
Talking to the moon

I know you're somewhere out there  
Somewhere far away...

I sighed and folded the piece of paper into my back pocket. The lyrics were touching, but what was I supposed to do with them? Keep them in my jeans drawer to dissect later. What kind of person did that?

I shook my head and walked back towards the porch. Charlie had already gone to work, I guessed. His cruiser was missing, and replaced with a bright yellow Porsche.

Wait – a _Porsche_?

"Alice?" I choked, squinting against the rain at the small figure sitting against her car. She hadn't been there before, I knew that; how did the Cullen siblings always magically appear?

"Hi, Bella." She stood up and straightened out her clothes. She looked as pristine and perfect as ever in her designer clothing. She hadn't touched in a month like I knew I had. She looked me up and down, reminding me of that. "That is Bella in there, right?"

"That's me." I mumbled. "What do you want?"

"I came to talk to you." She stood beside me and took my hand. "Can I come inside?"

I hesitated, and then nodded. We walked inside and sat on the couch, a cup of tea warming in each our hands. We crossed our legs and faced each other, not speaking.

"You're a mess, Bells." Alice sighed, reaching out a catching a lock of my hair between her fingers. My hair had grown two inches since she had last seen me, with a ridiculous number of split ends. Not that I noticed.

"Thanks." I huffed. "Alice, why are you here? Really? If you're here to apologize for him, I don't want to hear it."

"I'm not." She said, letting go of my hair and leaning back. "He's… I haven't had a real conversation with him for awhile."

"What do you mean?"

"Well… he doesn't, really, well… talk anymore. Well, he does, but not as often as usual." She struggled with words, putting a finger to her lip as she thought. "He's not very happy."

I bit my lip and tried to hide any obvious emotion on my face. "Well… that's his problem. Not mine."

"Bella, please." Alice set her tea down and moved closer to me. She put her hands on my small shoulders and leaned her face close to mind. "Wake. The. Hell. Up."

I blinked. "What?"

"Open your freaking eyes. Stop sulking and stand up for yourself." She stared firmly into my eyes, her fingers tight on my shoulders. It hurt. "Have what you _want._"

"A deal was made. He had to choose. He chose her." I answered, my voice a scratchy whisper. "That's it. I can't do anything more."

"Who is _Rosalie_ to make the rules?" Alice spat, shoving me back and scowling up at me. She was still as a little as I remembered. A kitten with claws. "Why the hell would you let her push you two around?"

"Because…" I looked away, frowning. "Because, well… I don't know."

And I didn't. Since when did Rosalie dictate what Edward did, anyway? What _I_ did? I was my own person. How did I let her overwrite that?

"About bloody time." Alice mumbled, leaning away from me and picking up her tea cup. She peeked up over her cup at me, smirking. She wrapped her fingers around her cup and smiled. "I knew you'd figure it out."

"That doesn't change a thing." I said. "He _did_ have to make that choice. Whether Rosalie demanded it or not, it would have happened. We have always been competing for his attention. Everyone knows it, even Edward."

Alice sighed. "She didn't win."

"Pardon?"

"Rosalie didn't gain anything from his decision. I haven't seen her in two weeks. I only saw Emmett for the first time in a week and a half yesterday, because he's been with Rosalie." She explained.

"But… why?" I muttered, utterly surprised.

Alice shrugged. "Edward doesn't want to speak to her. Just because he 'picked' her… doesn't mean he liked the decision. I don't even know why he did it, actually."

"Because I told him to." I said to her, defiantly.

Alice shook her head sadly. "Oh, Bella. Always putting yourself before others doesn't get you anywhere in life. Especially not _this._ It just puts you behind."

"I wanted this." I started to raise my voice. Though I didn't believe anything I was saying anymore… I felt like I needed to defend _this_. This was the only dignity I had left. "I told him to do this, not anyone else. This is _my_ fault."

"Stop blaming yourself." Alice spoke softer now, holding onto my hands and squeezing. "None of this mess is anywhere near your fault. It's Edward and his stupid boy brain."

I cracked a smile. My cheeks felt stiff and unused.

"I didn't tell him I came here. I haven't seen him since yesterday morning, anyway." The last part had be gnawing on my lip until I drew blood. Alice leaned up to hug me tightly, and didn't let go. "Take care of yourself, will you, Bella? You're looking more emotionless than usual."

Alice had just taken a stab at me, (probably trying to get me to smile), but I didn't care. I needed this hug from her – she made me feel better. I'm not sure if it was because she was a Cullen, or just because she was my childhood friend, just like Edward was. I think it was a tie.

"I need to go meet Jasper. Just call me if you need me, alright?" She stood up and headed for the door. She pulled on her coat and blew me a kiss. "Bye, Bell."

I shut the door behind her and held my hand to my back pocket. The note suddenly weighted a ton, yet I wasn't sure why. I pulled it out and read the words again, then for a third time. I might be going crazy, but I imagined Edward singing these words to me. Meaning every word. No trickery or falseness involved. Nothing but honesty.

A world with pure honesty. If only it existed.

* * *

Then next week passed in a blur. I was slowly becoming stronger, eating more and going outside other than my daily trips to the letter box. Charlie stopped babying me, at least for now. I was hoping he could see my obvious improvement and realize that I did not need a shrink.

The letters continued to stream in. I wondered where this person was getting all their music from – I mean, who can be bothered to find a new song every day? My first clue: This person had a lot of time on their hands.

Charlie was prompting me to go to La Push for company. I refused, knowing that Jacob was there. What if he saw me again? What if he found out what Edward had done to me… again? Surely there would be hell to pay. And I wasn't willing that price. So… no La Push for me.

I settled with my weekly visits from Alice, and eventually from Jasper. We usually spent most of the day outside on the front lawn, (trying) to sunbathe. If that failed, we went to the mall or the park for ice cream. Jasper claimed, "I needed to get some meat on my bones." So he forced me to eat plenty of high-calorie food (or that was his excuse).

I was starting to feel better. I felt like I could pull through on my own, no matter what happened. I had made it through something impossible, which meant, I could make it through more. I was getting stronger; I knew that more than I could feel it.

Jasper told me he hasn't heard from Edward for a while. He goes to their house almost every day for the past month and a week, and Edward has only made an appearance twice. Carlisle and Esme were getting worried, and so, they passed on a message for Alice to give to me.

"My Mom and Dad want you to talk to Edward." She told me, over our breakfast of fruit salad. Alice and Jasper had come over especially early today; I now knew why.

"I-I can't." I mumbled straight away, spearing a piece of cantaloupe with my fork. "I just can't. You know that."

"Please. He needs you." Alice pleaded, putting down her fork and folding her arms over the table. Jasper sat beside her, eating quietly while still contributing.

"He really does, Bella. You have no idea." Jasper interjected. "You are getting better, but he isn't."

"I've told you before. He made his choice, and it wasn't me. So… he has to deal with the consequences." My voice shook as I spoke, giving me away. Alice and Jasper glanced at each other warily then returned back to me.

"Don't you want to help him at all?" Alice asked softly.

I looked away, biting on my lip. Just when I started to feel better… this happens. I was usually all for helping others and all that, but… right now? I was barely helping myself. How could I possibly make others feel better? Especially… _Edward_?

"I do. But I can't." I answered simply, standing up and putting my bowl in the sink. "I'm sorry, but I just…"

"We understand." Jasper stood up with Alice, and placed both of their bowls into the sink. "We're sorry we're putting this pressure on you. We just care about him as much as you do. We want him to be happy, just like we want you to be happy. Don't you think he deserves that?"

_Yes! _My subconscious shouted at me. A happy Edward was a very happy Bella.

"Of course he does." I turned around to lean against the sink. They innocently faced me, hands joined at bodies close together. How I envied them – why couldn't I have that? That clear _joy _that radiates off of them? It was so simple, yet so hard to achieve.

I took a deep breath before I continued. "But that doesn't mean I can give it to him."

Jasper and Alice nodded.

"I'm sorry, I really am. I want to… but I know… as soon as I see him, I'll…" I looked away from them as tears sprouted in my eyes. Imagining his beautiful face in my mind always made me more upset than happy.

"Can we pass anything on to him? A letter?" Alice asked, standing beside me and putting an arm around my shoulders. "We promise we won't read it. It'll be for his eyes only."

I slowly nodded and walked away from her. I found a piece of paper on the coffee table and pulled a pen out from Charlie's desk chair. Jasper and Alice gave me some time alone while I deliberated what to write. What I wanted to say to Edward could not be put into words.

The latest letter throbbed in my back pocket.

Lyrics! I can't write Edward a letter using lyrics to express how I feel. That's what my mysterious writer has been doing all this time. (I was starting to suspect it was Jacob).

My next question was a little simpler. I quickly put my pen to paper without hesitation.

_**And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you**__**  
**__**Somebody else gets what you wanted again**__**  
**__**You know it's all the same, another time and place**__**  
**__**Repeating history and you're getting sick of it**___

_**But I believe in whatever you do**__**  
**__**And I'll do anything to see it through**___

_**Because these things will change, can you feel it now?**__**  
**__**These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down**__**  
**__**It's a revolution, the time will come for us to finally win**___

_**We'll sing hallelujah.**__**  
**__**We'll sing hallelujah. Oh**___

_**So we've been outnumbered, raided and now cornered**__**  
**__**It's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair**__**  
**__**We're getting stronger now from things they never found**__**  
**__**They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared**___

_**You can walk away and say we don't need this**__**  
**__**But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this**___

_**'Cause these things will change, can you feel it now?**__**  
**__**These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down**__**  
**__**It's a revolution, the time will come for us to finally win**___

_**We'll sing hallelujah.**__**  
**__**We'll sing hallelujah. Oh**___

_**Tonight we standed on our knees**__**  
**__**To fight for what we worked for all these years**__**  
**__**And the battle was long, it's the fight of our lives**__**  
**__**Will we stand up champions tonight?**___

_**It was the night things changed, can you see it now?**__**  
**__**These walls that they put up to hold us back fell down**__**  
**__**It's a revolution, throw your hands up, 'cause we never gave in**___

_**We'll sing hallelujah.**__**  
**__**We sang hallelujah.**__**  
**__**Hallelujah.**_

I took a deep breath before writing my next short message.

_**I hope you start feeling better soon, Edward. I have. I know you can too… I miss you.**_

_**From, Bella.**_

I folded up the piece of paper and walked back into the kitchen. Alice and Jasper were leaning against the counter, Jasper's hands on either side of her while she leaned against his chest. It was an adorable sight… but it caused a dull ache in my heart. I coughed and walked to them, handing Alice the letter.

"Thanks, Bella." She smiled and hugged me. "I know he'll feel so much better for hearing from you. I know you'll feel better, too."

I nodded slowly, highly doubting the second part. I liked that I might be helping him, but thinking of Edward at all made my heart hurt. I couldn't even imagine having to see him.

Alice and Jasper left late that afternoon. They promised to give Edward the letter without questions asked. Alice promised she'd call tonight if he feels better.

Charlie came home and greeted me happily. I failed to return his wide smile, and though he pretended not to, I knew he had expected that. I may be feeling a little better, but I wasn't completely healed. He wasn't stupid.

I made him dinner and we ate together. He told me about his day at the station, and was disappointed to know I had nothing interesting to tell. He still loved that Alice and Jasper were visiting more and more often, but he said he wanted me to make other friends besides the Cullens.

"I'm friends with Emmett and Jasper. Jasper isn't a Cullen." I pointed out, picking at my beef casserole.

Charlie looked at me, un-amused. "Ok. Someone that's not a McCarthy or a Whitlock. Or a Hale, for that matter."

"You have a good memory." I grumbled. "But I'm not friends with any Hales."

"You're not friends with Rosalie?" He asked me, frowning slightly. He had stopped eating, so this must be important. "How come?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. We had a falling out. Not that we were ever close to begin with."

"Oh." Charlie kept on eating.

"Just because you have some freaky crush on her mom, doesn't mean I have to friends with her." I looked up from my meal and raised an eye brow at him. He grinned and chuckled, finishing his plate and taking it back for seconds.

That night, I went straight to bed and curled up against my pillows. This was becoming a ritual for me – finished dinner, clean the kitchen, take a shower, and then collapse onto my bed. I hadn't done anything different in a long time.

Alice called to tell me Edward had taken the letter into his room, but she didn't know if he had read it yet. She teased me about the kind of things he would do with it, but I wasn't in the mood for laughing. Especially about Edward.

"Alright, alright, tender territory." Alice giggled. I think 'tender territory' was her new favorite phrase. "I won't say anything again."

"Good." I yawned and covered my mouth. "I'm going to go to bed. Will I see you tomorrow?"

"Probably." Alice yawned herself. "I'll talk to you soon. Night, Bell."

"Goodnight, Alice."

I hung up my phone and let my eyes slip closed. Images of Edward danced in my head – a happy five year old with wide green eyes. A little boy crying when his scoop of ice cream fell off his cone. Edward comforting me while my parents fought through the night. Then, the wide gap between his boyhood and manhood. Edward walking through the school halls while guarding me from Mike Newton or Eric Yorkie. Passing notes to me in biology, and then getting caught. Coming to my house every weekend for no reason in particular. His meadow.

I fell asleep, feeling the soft grass under my skin and the cool wind in my face.

In the morning, there was no letter in my mailbox. The disappointment I felt was crushing – I shuffled back into the house, dragging my feet. Alice and Jasper soon arrived, passing me a small, folded letter.

"From Edward." Alice smiled. "I think he liked your letter. He looked better already."

"He looked bad before?" I asked, puzzled. I couldn't imagine it.

Alice shrugged.

I walked into the living room to read his note. I ran my fingers over his familiar handwriting with a sigh. But, instead of song lyrics like I expected, there was a quote and a short message.

_**Friendship is not just the name of an**__**  
**__**ordinary feeling. But it is the name of the feelings of understanding, honesty and frankness between two persons. And these feelings keep the two very special persons bounded together and such a friendship lies in two of us.**_

_**Thank you for your letter. I miss you too, Bella. Please come back. **_

_**From, Edward. **__**  
**_

I choked on my own tears. I could hear him reciting this in his soft, honey-melting voice…

I wanted to forgive him. I wanted to take him back and tell him I was sorry. To say I made a mistake. I was going to be selfish and say _I wanted him –_ and Rosalie will just have to deal. I didn't care what anyone said; no one could influence me.

_But wait_, the little devil-angel from the movies on my shoulder yelled, _he's the one that didn't choose you, remember? He deserves to suffer more!_

The other side argued, _You told him to! He was only doing what he thought you wanted. Don't blame him. Forgive and forget._

Was I going insane? Probably. But both sides argued valid statements. They were both true, but I had just had to decide which was more important. Forgive him, or let him wallow in his own sadness, just like I had been?

I returned to Alice and Jasper, wiping the tears off my cheeks.

"Are you ok?" Alice asked, pulling me quickly into a hug. "He didn't say anything mean, did he?"

"Of course not." I sniffled. "He was very sweet."

"Then why are you crying?" Jasper asked quizzically.

Even I could barely answer that. "I'm just… confused. I need time to think before I…" I shook my head, not being able to continue. They both seemed to understand, because they nodded and offered to leave.

"That would be helpful." I smiled at them, and Alice hugged me again. Jasper smiled and hoped I would feel better soon, and they both left me to my own devices.

Which was not a good idea.

I was confused. I was lost. I didn't know where I wanted to go or how fast. Of course, I wanted to go straight to the Cullen house and beg Edward not to be angry at me. But I knew it wasn't going to be that easy. Things between us have changed, now – for the better, or worse, I didn't know. I wanted to find out, but I didn't want to get hurt in the process. That's what taking risks is all about, right?

There was a knock on the front door, breaking me from my reverie. I walked to the door and pulled it open, staring open mouthed at the person standing there.

"Rosalie?"

* * *

**ARRGGGH. So, first of all, I just went through the WHOLE CHAPTER and edited it. THEN, fanfiction died on me and I lost EVERYTHING I had edited. FML. So, I just gave you the chapter with a few mistakes. I'm sorry. **

**Secondly, Yeah, yeah, I know. ANOTHER cliff hanger. I just felt like it was a good place to stop XD**

**Plus, this was the fastest update I have EVER made. Yeah, EVER. (Probably because of the mid-week parts of the story I HAND WRITE) . But after not having my laptop for a whole week, I was in a writing mood… ;D So there you go. **

**The songs from this chapter – **

"**Never Dreamed You'd Leave in Summer", by Stevie Wonder.**

"**Talking to the Moon", by Bruno Mars.**

"**Change", by Taylor Swift. **

**Pleeeease review! (: Let me know why you think Rosalie is there, and your favorite part from this chapter! **


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: It's official. I love you guys.**

**I can't name you all individually, but I just need to thank you for all your wonderful reviews. I love reading them and am so happy you're all enjoying my story! So T H A N K Y O U ! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

"Yes, it's me." Rosalie was standing on my door step, dripping wet. Her arms hung loosely at her sides, her long blond hair hanging over one shoulder. I had never seen her look so, well… not _perfect._ I was used to seeing perfectly styled hair and red painted nails. But not today. "I need to talk to you. Can I come in?"

I nodded and stepped away from the door. She stepped inside in her high heels and stood awkwardly in the entry way. We both knew this was uncomfortable for both of us, yet neither of us wanted to show weakness. Rosalie was like my enemy – I knew I couldn't trust her, and she damn well knew I never would.

"Why are you here?" I led her towards the kitchen, where I filled a glass with water and handed it to her. She sipped on it quietly, not speaking.

"I came to talk to you."

"I know that… but… what about? If you're here to gloat, I don't want to hear it." I sat across from her and folded my arms. Her unexpected visit had caught me off guard, and I was not looking my best. My hair was hanging limply and my cheeks were still red and tear stained.

I was the pinnacle of weak.

"I'm not here to gloat." She curled her fingers around the glass and bit on her lip. I had never seen her looking so nervous. "I came here to ask a favor."

From me? "What kind of favor?"

"Look," She leaned forward and stared me in the eye. I was intimidated instantly. "I'm not here to ask for your forgiveness, or whatever. That's not what I do. The objective was clear: He had to choose, and he chose me. Therefore, I have the upper hand. Get it?" She waited, while I refused to nod. She eventually went on to say, "But he is not very happy at the moment, just like you aren't. I haven't seen him in awhile, only because he refuses to even look at me. It hurts, Bella, and…"

"Rosalie." I sighed, squeezing my fists together. "If you're here to hurt me some more, then I want you to leave. I don't want to hear how he is feeling, because it just makes it all the more painful."

"I wasn't trying to make you feel worse. I was trying to tell that you have to keep an open mind about this. Yes, he chose me, but that doesn't mean the decision was easy for him. He's still hurting, though he made the freaking decision a month ago." She rolled her eyes slightly, and I crunched my teeth together with a loud _snap_. "Therefore, I need you to talk to him. Tell him that you don't care who he chose."

"But I _do_." I closed my eyes, fighting the angry tears that threatened to overflow. "You have no idea what I've gone through."

"No, I don't."

"Well, let me give you a clear picture." I leaned forward. "He chooses the girl he's been friends with since he was nine, though the girl he gave up has known him since they were toddlers. The pain is crippling, though you have to put on a brave face. You would, wouldn't you? You're stronger than me."

She nodded slowly, resting her head on her hand.

"His sister tells you how much pain he's in, yet you have no idea what to do about it. You've shared so much together, been through so much… and yet, you feel completely lost around him. Helpless. Useless. You mustn't know what that feels like… you've always been wanted and needed." I sighed, squeezing my eyes closed and then reopening them.

"That's not true." Rosalie said quietly. "Edward and I's friendship, it's never mean… normal. He's never truly _needed _me."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, imagine _this_." She used her hands for emphasis. "You meet this boy. He seems so confused, all the time. He's so sweet and caring at only age nine. You soon become his _best friend_. As you grow up more, you notice that he's becoming different. He's changing from a boy to a man, but never gets any less confused. He wanders around like he doesn't know his place in his life – and you feel like you're the only one that can help him. You ask him out. You get closer. He's so… _distant_…" She shook her head. "Like he's never really _there._ It doesn't work. It just_ doesn't work._"

"You loved Edward." I whispered, staring at her with surprise. "That's why you hate me so much. Because I do, too."

"I don't _hate_ you." A small smile tugged at the end of her lips. "I don't really like you, but, I'm sure the feeling is mutual."

"I don't hate you, I never did. I was just confused… but now I understand." A wave of guilt washed over me, and I suddenly felt terrible. "You… don't… still… ?"

"God no." She scoffed. "I love Emmett. But I just feel like I'm responsible for Edward. I feel like he _needs_ someone. And that someone is me." She looked away. "And possibly you."

"I can't help him now. If I saw him, I think I would break down." I confessed. I never thought I'd be sitting in my shabby kitchen, while Rosalie Hale tried to persuade me to speak to Edward. _She wanted me to speak to Edward._

"You're stronger than you think you are, Bella. It's all about confidence." She sat up straight, and though she was still dripping wet, she suddenly looked stunning again. "Hold your head up high. Don't let anything get you down."

When I tried mirroring her position, I just looked stupid. I slumped over my arms in defeat. "Forget it. I can't be confident. It's just not _me._"

"There you go again." She shook her head. "You know, if we were friends, I would have to give you a few lessons."

I smiled slightly. "That would have been fun."

"Yes." She looked down at her cup, then back up at me. "But really. He needs you more than you know. For the first time since I've known him, he doesn't look so lost anymore."

We were both quiet. After a few minutes of nothing but silence, Rosalie stood up. "I'd better be going. I'm meeting Emmett at four."

I stood up with her, and we both walked towards the door.

"Bye, Rosalie. I might see you soon."

"Good bye, Bella." She looked back at me. "Remember, give him some thought. Don't let him get lost again."

And she left.

I walked back into the house, and up to my room. I lay on bed and stared up at ceiling, deep in thought – what had just happened with Rosalie? Had we just had a civil conversation without _any _glaring?

What she told me about Edward really hit me hard. I didn't feel the slightest bit jealous that she used to love Edward; because I understood. I'd be a hypocrite if I said she was wrong to feel that way.

In a way, I was grateful for Rosalie. She had been there to fill Edward's void, when I hadn't been. Though it didn't sound like that's what he wanted, it was _something._ I had done _nothing._ It was one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

Edward and I were very similar, really. Like him, I had spent the last ten years of my life breezing through, never really taking anything in or paying attention. I got good grades at school and I was a good daughter for Renee. But that's as far as it went. I never really _lived_ – not like I was supposed to. Because… I couldn't live my life without _him_, even at age seven. It was just… unnatural.

I understood Rosalie. Everything she has done, all the problems she has caused me; it made sense. She was only protecting her friend from someone who had failed him. And that someone was me. I was the villain in this. Rosalie was the hero. Edward was the victim.

I couldn't believe I had been so blind. I had been selfish enough to see Rosalie in _that _kind of light – the kind that only saw the bad in a person. I didn't see the good she was doing. No, I saw past that like the terrible person I was.

This whole time, _I've _been in the wrong. Trying to be friends with Edward in the beginning. Using Jacob to make him jealous. Forcing him to remember things he had blocked out long ago… I was forcing him to be someone else.

I couldn't force him anymore. I needed to back off and give him free rein. Let him make the shots, this time. I've been the dictator, and now it was his turn.

I grabbed a piece of paper of my night stand and found a pencil on the floor. I quickly put pen to paper, tears forming in my eyes as I wrote…

**Edward,**

_**I've made a terrible mistake. Whatever I said before, I didn't mean – it's feels like I've been looking through a smoke screen. There is no way I can put how I am feeling into words. No song, no poem can express how I'm feeling. I now understand you for who you really are, not who I wanted you to be. I will no longer put words in your mouth and memories in your head. It was never my place, not even now. This time apart has given me time to think… and I now see. If you would like me to come see you, I wouldn't stop you. We might need to start again, but that's ok. I'd rather know who you really are, and not the fabricated Edward I thought I knew. I'm ready for the **__**real **__**Edward **__**Cullen.**_

_**Once again, I'm sorry. You know you'll always be my best friend, whether you decide to forgive me for being so selfish… or not. I'm sorry I've been acting so blindly.**_

_**Bella.**_

I folded the letter until it was a tiny square in my hands. This was my confession. This was my soul, (or part of it), written down on a tiny piece of paper addressed to _Edward Cullen. _

I picked up my coat and drove to the Cullen house. I slipped my letter under the door, hoping someone would find it soon. I didn't even care who read it – as long as Edward saw it and knew how I was feeling. That was all that mattered.

Charlie beat me home and I prepared him dinner, feeling like the weights had been lifted off my shoulders. I no longer felt suffocated; I didn't feel completely cured, either. Just _better._ Like I had finally removed the glass that stood between me and reality.

"Anything planned for tomorrow?" Charlie asked me gruffly, over our meal of Spaghetti Ragu.

"Uh… I don't think so." I frowned. "Why?"

"Billy invited us to come to a beach party down at La Push." Charlie told me, taking a sip of Beer and then digging back into his pasta. All without taking a breath. "Or would you rather not see Jake?"

"I don't know, Dad… things with Jake might be… ?"

"Right." Charlie nodded. "It would be awkward, right? Uncomfortable."

I nodded and spun some pasta around my fork. "Yeah. So, I might pass on that offer. But you can go. I have stuff to do here, anyway."

"I don't like leaving you alone for too long." Charlie sat back in his chair after finishing his bowl. "I feel like you're lonely."

"I'm not." I said, "Alice and Jasper will probably come by."

"I know you don't get _lonely_ when the Cullens/Whitlocks comes round." He rolled his eyes. "But I mean… you only ever see them, and you haven't been over to Alice and Edward's house for awhile."

"No. I… just… needed some time alone for awhile." I shrugged, trying to downplay my real reasons. "I might go to the Cullen's soon, anyway."

"Good." Charlie nodded. "But what about your other friends, like that Mike Newton boy?"

"He's… no." I smiled and shook my head. "He's a little too…. Eager, for my tastes."

"Oh." Redness spread across Charlie's face, and he looked away from me. It wasn't hard to figure out where I had gotten my blush from. "Well… how about Angela Webber? Jessica Stanley?"

"Angela is in Ohio for the summer." I sighed. "And Jessica is in California visiting family. No one is around, anyway. But the Cullens are."

Charlie huffed and stood up. He stalked to the sink and started rinsing his plate. "Alright, then. Esme and Carlisle called the other night… they asked for you."

"Oh. I'll have to call them back."

I cleaned the kitchen and then hurried up to my room. I had no intention of calling Carlisle and Esme back – I knew what they would say. _We need you to speak to Edward._ Well, I wasn't going to talk to him unless he asked. I was giving him free rein, after all.

The next day, Alice and Jasper brought Emmett and Rosalie to my house with them. I was delighted to see Emmett again – and well, I had seen Rosalie just the day before. We acknowledged each other with a nod, which Alice, Jasper and Emmett looked puzzled about.

"Do I smell a friendship forming?" Emmett asked with a huge grin. I had really missed him.

Rosalie slapped him. "Seriously, Emmett? Sometimes I think you'd be better without a mouth."

"Oh really?" Emmett looked at her and raised an eye brow. "I think I disagree, because then I couldn't do this…" He pulled her in for a long, steamy kiss.

"They haven't changed, have they?" I looked at Jasper and Alice.

They both shook their heads.

"No, they've gotten even more publically graphic that usual." Jasper shook his head sadly. "Such a loss."

Alice and I laughed, and soon Emmett and Rosalie joined in. We were all aware of the one person who was missing – but none of us had the guts to say anything. Well, I'm sure Emmett did, but it was a touchy subject to each of us.

The five of us ended up spending the day outside. We sat on the lawn and explored to forest outside.

It was strange, not having Edward around. And different. There was never anyone that snuck up on me from behind and made my heart beat rapidly in my chest. In a way it was better; but in another, it was so, so much worse.

"I gave him your note." Alice told me quietly, while it was just the two of us outside on the lawn. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie were busy making sandwiches inside while Alice and I talked. "He looked like a happy little boy receiving his first gift on Christmas morning."

I looked down, blushing.

"Well… Did he say anything?" I asked her.

"Not really. Just took it up to his room. He's probably going to –"

"Ok, I don't think I need to know." I laughed, already knowing where she was going with this. "But I'm glad he liked it. Has he been feeling… any better?"

"I think so. He's been making more appearances around the house, which is a sure a change from the before."

I smiled. "That's good."

Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie then came outside with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. We ate them hungrily, and I was once again reminded of my childhood. Though Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie hadn't come around until after I left, I still felt like they had always been there. It was an extremely comforting thought.

They stayed and had dinner with Charlie and me. It was a great end to one of the best days I've had in awhile. Charlie was happy to see I was getting along with Rosalie (Well, sort of), and he loved seeing Emmett again. His mood instantly lifted, which made me happier.

But later on, Charlie pointed out that he noticed Edward wasn't there.

"Yeah, he's not feeling too well." I mumbled, handing him a wet plate to dry.

"Huh. Well. I hope he gets better soon, I guess." He grumbled back.

As I was about to walk up the stairs, there was a low knock at the door.

"Charlie, are you expecting anyone?" I yelled towards the living room, where Charlie was already positioned in front of TV.

"No!" He replied.

A flash of white caught my eye. I looked down at the door, where a small piece of paper had just been slid under.

I whipped open the door and scanned the dark front yard. No one was there.

I closed the door and grabbed the letter. I quickly went up to my room and opened it eagerly. It read:

_**Bella,**_

_**You never did anything wrong. Please don't blame yourself for the choice I made – really. I was so glad to hear from you, but sad to see it was a confession. You don't need to confess for a thing; everything that has happened has been my fault, and I have accepted that. I don't want to burden you with my problems.**_

_**But please, come over any time. I would be so happy to see you – to have my best friend back. I've missed you so much.**_

_**Edward. **_

I held the note to my chest and took a deep breath. He had given me a lot to think about, though he had not written much. I needed to think of him, and not myself. Did he need me? Did he want me?

_Yes, yes, yes!_ Screamed my heart.

_No, no, no! _Screamed my head.

I shook my head and grabbed my phone off the nightstand. I dialed Alice's familiar number and held the phone to my ear.

"Hi Bella!"

"Hey, Alice." I said, "I just read my latest note from Edward."

"Ooh. And?"

"And… do you mind if I come over tomorrow?"

* * *

It took ten minutes before I could force myself to take a step out of my truck. The tobacco and peppermint smell of the cab was soothing, but not enough to make my stomach stop doing flips. The huge, looming white house in front of me was reminding me of what I came here to do – to redeem myself. To see my best friend. To make everything _better_.

Then why was it so hard to make my legs move?

I took a deep breath and pushed open the cab door. The cold air hit me and knocked the negative thoughts out of my head. I jumped out of the cab, grabbed my backpack, and slammed the door closed. The Cullen's front door opened, and Alice, Carlisle and Esme were waiting for me.

"Bella!" Esme pulled me into her arms as soon as I stepped foot onto the front porch. "It's so good to see you!"

"You too." I mumbled, pulling away from her and letting Carlisle hug me. Alice squealed and squeezed my hand.

"You haven't been around for awhile." Carlisle commented, leading me inside followed by Esme and Alice. "What have you been doing?"

_Absolutely nothing… besides drowning in my own sorrow. _"Not much."

Esme offered me a drink while Alice grinned at me so wide I thought it would hurt her cheeks. Carlisle looked calm and composed, just like always. Nothing seemed to bother him – or he was just very good at hiding what he was feeling. I wished I had that talent.

They all knew why I was here, and it wasn't to sip tea and chat. Alice seemed to be bouncing in her seat, and Carlisle and Esme never pushed me like I thought they would. They let me move at my own pace, which I was grateful for.

When I was finally ready to walk the stairs, I stood up and took a deep breath. "I'm going to go and speak to Edward."

"Alright, dear." Esme smiled at me and looked at Alice. "We'll be down here if you need anything."

I nodded and walked towards the stairs. I noticed my hands were visibly shaking, so I stuffed them into my jacket pockets. I came to his door and stood there for what seemed like a lifetime; fussing with my hair and drying my sweaty palms on my jeans. I eventually took a deep breath and twisted the door knob.

I pushed the door open, and expected everything to be different. It wasn't. The same gold comforter sat at the end of his bed. The same pile of books were scattered all over his desk. The same dresser was against the wall, with his little wooden box and frames full of pictures.

As my eyes scanned the room, I almost went straight past him. He sat against his window, a book propped up on his knees. He blended in with the scenery behind him; the nothing but green. His head slowly rose when he saw me, but neither of us moved.

His eyes looked blank and staring - no emotion. No soul. No feelings. Just emerald green.

His hair hung over his forehead in a disheveled mess. Or, even more disheveled than usual.

I could tell he was examining me as I was examining him. We just stared at each other, watching – for a flicker of emotion, for one of us to make the first move. But neither of us did, so we just stood there, looking at each other. And it was enough.

I realized something in those moments I was standing there. I thought of the letters I had been getting daily for a month… and the lyrics that had been written. They all referred to the same thing – heart break, friendship, forgiveness and confusion.

They stopped as soon as Edward replied to my note.

"You wrote me those letters." I whispered with surprise. I was ashamed of myself – how had I not figured it out?

"Yes." He answered simply.

"The lyrics were…" I struggled for words. "Beautiful."

"They weren't mine." He put down his book and stood up to face me. He was still half a head taller (I don't know why I expected any different).

"No, but I knew you meant them. I've kept them all, you know. Tucked away in one of my drawers." Too much information. I wanted to smack myself.

"I was hoping you would." He smiled slightly. He then opened his eyes a little wider and took me in once again. "You don't look well, Bella."

"I could say the same about you." I folded my arms over my chest.

"I suppose the past month hasn't been pleasant for either of us." He whispered with a sigh, to which I just shook my head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have –"

"Please don't. I asked you to, remember? I'm just being selfish. I'm going back on my word, which I hate to do." I had rehearsed these words many times now. I could say them in my sleep.

"No, but I knew you didn't want that."

"You only did what I told you to."

We stood in silence. The distance was starting to be too much, and he pulled me into his arms and buried his face into my hair. I softly cried into his shoulder, while he held me and whispered comforting words into my ear. I heard things like "need" and "sorry" and "stupid", but I barely listened.

He pulled away and rested his cheek against mine. I must have felt hot and teary, but he didn't seem to care. He continued to whisper in my ear words of peace, but again I didn't hear. I was too busy just _being_ with him.

Somehow, we ended up lying on his bed. He stretched out his arm so I could rest on it and pulled me close. I hugged myself to his body, desperate for his scent and warmth. He looked helpless, staring down at me with sadness and guilt in his eyes. He thought he had done this to me, but he had no idea.

"You know what? This is Rosalie's fault." He mumbled against my hair.

I shook my head. "No. Don't blame this on Rose."

"You're on nickname basis now?"

"Well… she came by my house yesterday and spoke to me. She told me about growing up with you and what it was like to be your best friend." I sighed and closed my eyes. "She was the one that persuaded me to come here. I realized everything I had done wrong… and it was her that made me see."

"You didn't do a thing wrong. She didn't tell you did, did she?"

"No." I wiped my hand across my cheek.

He squeezed my shoulder and rested his head on mine. "This has all become a bit of a mess, hasn't it?"

I laughed without humor. "It has. One huge, confusing… beautiful… mess."

"I never know what you're going to say next." I could hear the smile in his voice. He was clearly just as relieved as I was to have each other near.

"Me either."

He chuckled and let out a deep sigh. I felt myself begin to lose consciousness, but I vowed to stay awake – I didn't want to leave him for a minute. Even I was never really _leaving._ Closing my eyes wouldn't allow me to see him anymore; and that was something I never, ever wanted to let go of.

"Go to sleep." He whispered, as if reading my mind. He began to stroke my hair, back and forth back and forth… "We've had a long few weeks."

"I don't want to." I mumbled sleepily. "I'm not tired, anyway."

"You're still a terrible liar."

I lightly slapped him, and he laughed. Hearing him laugh again made me want to sing – it was so beautiful. So refreshing. Like drinking a cold glass of orange juice in the morning.

"We still have tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that…" He whispered, and a smile formed on my face. I imagined forever stretched out in front of us endlessly. Taking my mind off not going to sleep made me lose consciousness instantly.

Esme was the one that woke us up the next morning. To open my eyes and see Esme in front of me made me yelp – I had expected her son.

"Charlie just called. He wondered where you were last night… so we told him you stayed the night." Esme whispered, a small smile on her face. She placed a hand over mine. "Thank you."

I nodded and smiled at her. She left the room and lightly shut the door.

When I lifted my head, one of Edward's eyes was cracked open and a small smile had spread across his lips. "My mother and her meddling ways."

"What do you mean?"

"Charlie called yesterday, not this morning. She just wanted an excuse to see us together."

I hid my face, blushing. I felt like I hadn't gone red in such a long time – and surprisingly, it was a relief. "That's…"

"Embarrassing? Yes, it is." He sighed and pulled us both up into a sitting position. He still kept his arms around me, our bodies close together. I was happy for the comfort.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Only nine."

I ran my fingers through my damp hair and looked around the room in a daze. "Wow. Alice must be wondering where we are."

"She's not. She came in last night to check on us after you went to sleep."

I sighed. Of course Alice would do something like that. I would be surprised if she _didn't_. She just couldn't help herself. "That sounds like your sister."

"Yes. And I'm assuming she's downstairs right now, waiting for us."

"I'm not ready to go downstairs yet." I hugged myself closer to him, nuzzling my face into his neck. "I don't want to move."

"I don't either." He chuckled, and then cut himself off suddenly. I had a feeling he was about to say something important. "I'm going to tell Rosalie not to talk to me again."

"You shouldn't." I sighed. "You mean more to her than you know. I'm not saying I'm _Team Rosalie_ now, but you should at least talk to her. Let her explain to you why she's done what she's done. And keep an open mind."

"I can't. She's caused you so much pain…"

Whenever he said things like that, a flood of hope washed over me and I could never control the smile on my face. But now, I couldn't smile if I wanted to. I knew that he only meant it in a friendly way, and nothing more. The thought saddened me.

_Hey,_ a little voice in my head reminded me. _Don't think like that. Friendship is more than enough._

"Please, Edward, for me?" I looked up at him through my lashes.

He sighed and nodded. "Alright. I'll talk to her. But I'm not making any promises, alright?"

"Ok."

Eventually, we pulled ourselves off his bed and downstairs. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were all gathered down there, talking with Carlisle and Esme. Edward stayed close to me through breakfast, even while he talked with Jasper and Emmett. He steered clear of Rosalie, though I tried to get in a few words. Alice was just happy to see Edward and I standing next to each other.

"See, all he needed was you." Alice shook her head and took a bite of her toast.

"Not really. We still have a lot to talk about, I think."

"Talking is for schmucks." Alice scoffed with a wave of her hand.

I scoffed back, smiling and shaking my head. "Talking usually makes all the difference." I looked at Rosalie, and we exchanged a knowing look.

* * *

**ANOTHER chapter. Snap. I'm on fire! **

**Please R&R guys! **


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hey…**

**Wow. The response I've gotten from the past few chapters have really surprised me. Many of you are demanding Bella be a little more assertive, which she probably will be. But Bella (well, the Bella in this story), isn't one to be all mean and bitchy. Well, except when she has to be … so, she isn't going to go on some screaming rampage at Rosalie or Edward. Even though she does have a bit of a temper ;) Just saying.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

* * *

Things with Edward and I weren't the same. It was just that simple – I mean, we were still friends, but we weren't like normal friends should be. We couldn't do normal things like listen to music or take strolls through the forest. It always turned into something else; either an argument about blaming ourselves, or a complicated web of confessions. I was sure I didn't have this kind of friendship with Angela, or Alice.

Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Edward and I took turns going to each other's houses. I was interested to see what Rosalie's house would look like – and I wasn't disappointed. She lived in a huge, three story house deep in the forest. Her room was three times the size of mine, and their kitchen looked so modern and clean I was jealous. Her parents welcomed us all with open arms; their happy personalities fit with their magnificent house.

Emmett and Jasper's houses were much like mine. Small and cluttered – it was homey. Going to the Cullen house all the time can be daunting sometimes… with all the expensive art work and exquisite furniture. It was comforting to be somewhere familiar, but I just preferred the cozy warmth of a small home.

The strain of Edward and I's relationship was not going unnoticed by the rest of the group. Emmett and Jasper watched us curiously, as did Alice. Rosalie didn't glare anymore, though occasionally I would see her frown at us. Esme and Carlisle watched on without interfering – but I suspected Alice had a part in that.

During the second month of summer, the weather became more humid and stuffy. This lead the group and I to go to First Beach, down at La Push. They seemed to forget exactly who lived here, but I definitely hadn't. We took Emmett's Jeep and packed coolers and beach umbrellas. There wasn't any sun today, but we could hope.

We pulled into the car park behind First Beach and loaded out. The boys grabbed the equipment we brought and Alice, Rosalie and I stared for the beach.

"I wish the sun would come out." Rosalie sighed. "I really need a tan."

"So do I." Alice pouted and kicked her feet in the sand. She looked up at the sky. "Why do we live in the rainiest place in the U.S.?"

"I don't know." I grumbled.

"Why would you move from Arizona, Bella? Seriously!" Alice complained, as we came to a stop near a huge drift wood tree. The boys dumped the stuff in front of us and collapsed on the sand.

"Jeez, unfit?" Rosalie scoffed, pulling off her top and throwing it onto the tree. We all wore matching denim shorts (thanks to Alice) that we so short they barely covered any leg. Emmett and Jasper seemed to like them, but I sure didn't. I think Edward was undecided.

Alice and I sat on the driftwood branch while Rosalie and Emmett took off for the water. Jasper and Edward sat across from us, their shirts now removed.

Alice wiped her hand over her forehead. "It's so hot here."

I looked around the beach, imagining Jacob walking towards me with a pained look on his face. I had to close and then reopen my eyes before I believed he wasn't really there. Alice nudged me to bring me back to attention, and I found Edward looking at me.

"You're out of it today, Bells." Alice observed, "You ok?"

"I'm fine." I ran my fingers through my hair while shaking my head. "Just… tired."

"I can't understand why, we never do anything!" Jasper laughed and leaned back on his elbows. Edward mirrored his position and watched me.

Rosalie and Emmett's excited screams rang out around us, and we all turned our heads to watch Emmett throw Rosalie a foot in the air. I imagined Edward and I like that – him throwing me the air, and then retrieving me and wrapping me in his arms. I sighed.

"Ugh," Alice threw off her top. It flew into Jasper's face, causing Edward, Alice and I to burst into laughter. Jasper laughed and pulled it over his own chest. It strained over his muscles, so tight it looked like it could rip.

"Take it off before I pee myself laughing!" Alice held her stomach and tried to pull the singlet top off him. Jasper laughed and threw it back at her, now three sizes too big.

"I would offer you my top, Edward, but I don't think…" My voice trailed off as I stared into the distance. The beach stretched out for miles, and I could see three figures loping towards us.

I recognized the person that was in the middle of the two shorter boys – tall, dark hair, russet skin…

Oh no.

I jumped up and ran towards the water. I dived straight in, singlet top and all, and held my breath. I hoped and prayed he hadn't seen me… (and that my friends would lie for me). Emmett and Rosalie stood by me, but I couldn't hear anything but gurgles.

I had never been able to hold my breath for long; within thirty seconds I leaped out of the water, heaving for oxygen. I looked towards the beach. Jacob, and who I knew now where Quil and Embry, stood in front of Jasper, Alice and Edward. They stood watching each other warily, speaking quietly.

"Oh. That makes sense." Emmett stood close to me. "Why you dived into the water, I mean."

"Shh!" I lightly nudged him, straining to hear their conversation. I hear words like "why" and "where" and Jacob muttering "why are you here?" But nothing more. Edward looked towards me, but looked back. Of course, the three Quiluete boys followed his gaze and rested on me.

"Bella!" Jacob nodded and me and walked toward the water. "Long time no see."

"Uh… yeah…" I walked out of the water, and Rosalie and Emmett followed.

Standing in front of Jacob made me feel smaller than usual – I realized he had grown. A lot. I had to strain my neck just to look into his eyes. He helped by looking down at me, but it didn't make me feel any better. Embry and Quil flanked him, but they weren't anywhere near as big as him.

"What brings you to La Push?" Jacob asked me. Edward, Jasper and Alice had now walked over to stand by me next to Emmett and Rosalie.

"It's hot today. We wanted to swim. Why else?" Emmett scoffed, followed by a laugh.

"What makes you think you're welcome on this beach?" Jacob raised an eye brow.

"You don't own it! It's for everyone, not just you." Rosalie glared at them. I now knew what it was like to watch her glare at someone – and it was scary.

"Do you see anyone else here? It's because it's ours. We're the only ones that come here." Jacob glared straight back at her, and then looked down at me. His eyes softened and he smiled slightly, but it didn't look right. "Well, except Bella. She's welcome to come any time she wants."

I thought I heard Edward's teeth snap together from behind me.

"How you been, Bella?" Jacob asked me conversationally.

"Um… not bad." I mumbled. It had been almost two months since I had seen him, and so much actually _had_ happened. I just couldn't put it into words. "What about you?"

"Nothing much, either." He smiled slightly. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you t –"

"Is there a reason you've come to bother us?" Edward intercepted, stepping forward and glaring at Jacob. They stared at each other, while I stood helplessly and watched. Again, I am showing my weakness.

"We came to go for a run," Now that I looked down, they were wearing running gear. "And we saw Bella run into the water. I wanted to see her."

"Well, maybe she doesn't want to see you." Edward answered.

"Hey, she's the one that broke up with me, remember?" He stepped closer to him until they were almost touching. Emmett and Jasper shifted to be closer to them. Alice and Rosalie stood behind me, watching just like I was. "And why? Because –"

"Jacob." I stopped him before too much poured out of his big mouth. I stared at him, pleading with my eyes not to say anymore. Everyone else might know about my infatuation with Edward, but Edward didn't. "I would be happy to come see you any time. Just please, leave us be."

"You weren't at my Dad's beach party the other night. We missed you." Jacob looked into my eyes. "I was hoping you would magically turn up, but when you didn't, I was disappointed."

"I'm sorry. Look, I'll come see you tomorrow, ok?" When I looked around, Edward was frowning. Did he really expect me not to see Jake after this? "Bright and early. We can spend the day together."

Jacob's eyes looked up to meet Edward's briefly, and then looked back down at me. "Ok. I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"Bye, Jake."

The three boys jogged away. As soon as they were out of ear shot, Edward grabbed onto my upper arm and stared into my eyes. "You are not going to see him tomorrow."

"Who said?" I jerked my arm away. "I'm allowed to see him if I want."

"I don't like him."

"Oh, no! Edward Cullen doesn't like Jacob Black. Well, that was unexpected."

Emmett laughed from next to me.

Edward glared at me. "I don't like the way he looks at you."

"And how does he look at me?"

"Like you're a goddess." Alice answered Edward for him.

"Like you're a piece of meat." Jasper said next.

"Like he wants to jump your bones." Emmett then said.

Edward looked at his two best friends and nodded. He turned back to me. "My point exactly. He'll try and take advantage of you. He's nothing but a hormonal sixteen year old boy."

"He is not!" I found my lip puckering and my eye brow scrunched together. I was turning more immature by the day. "I'm seeing him tomorrow. And that's final."

I stomped over to the drift wood tree where we were situated. I sat on a towel and pulled off my dripping wet singlet top and denim shorts, so I was sitting there in only my cream colored bikini. My hair was dripping over my shoulder and my mouth formed in a pout.

"Aw, don't be like that." Edward walked over and sat beside me. "You know I'm only looking out for you."

"I can look out for myself." I folded my arms and buried my feet in the sand. "Not that any looking out needs to be done. It's Jacob, for crying out loud."

"All teenage boys are the same." Edward smiled teasingly at me. "I'd know. Only one thing on their mind."

"Are you suggesting you think through your dick?" My mouth betrayed me by smiling. Stupid mouth.

Emmett and Jasper started to laugh in the distance. Only then I had noticed Rosalie, Alice, Jasper and Emmett had been listening to every word. Edward didn't reply, only looked down at the sand under his feet.

"She's got that right!" Emmett chortled, folding over himself as he laughed. Jasper, Alice and Rosalie followed, almost falling into the sand. Personally, I didn't find it that funny… I just found it… well, uncomfortable. I think I was missing some inside joke.

"You want to swim?" Edward asked, trying to ignore the laughter from our four friends. He looked just as red and embarrassed as I was.

"Sure." We both jumped up and ran for the water.

* * *

We stayed at La Push until four, and then headed back to the Cullen house. Esme and Carlisle had invited all of our parents over for a barbecue, so Charlie and I ended up staying there until late. I told him I was going to see Jacob tomorrow, and Charlie sounded delighted. Take that Edward.

I went over bright and early, just like I promised. He met me at the store by his house, and we took sodas to the beach and sat down on one of the benches. We talked and caught up with each other, though neither of us mentioned the break up or Edward. I preferred it that way, and I think he did too.

But once we ran out of things to talk about… we got to the hard parts.

"I've really missed you these past few months." He sighed, reaching over the table and taking my hands in his huge ones. "I was sad you didn't come to visit."

"I'm sorry. A lot has been going on lately, and I've just been… well… hanging around." I shrugged.

"Is he treating you right?" Jacob frowned at me like a disapproving Father.

"Yeah, he's doing fine." I answered. "Of course. He's not as bad you think he is. What is with you two boys and thinking the worst of each other?"

To my surprise, Jacob laughed. "What has he been saying about me?"

"That you're some hormonal teenager who thinks through their…" I trailed off and shook my head to avoid embarrassment. "Anyway, he thinks you're going to take advantage of me."

"He's right about the first part," He grinned. "But not about the second. I would never make you do anything you don't want to do."

"I know, and I told him that! But he's stubborn." I sighed. "Nothing I can do to change his mind. He's probably wondering where I am right now. Why I haven't come back yet."

"Stay here for awhile." Jacob's stare was intense. "Don't go back."

"Who's going to feed Charlie?" I tried to joke.

"A little concept called pizza delivery."

We both laughed. I loved being carefree – that what it was like with Jacob. So easy you didn't even need to think; laugh when you want to laugh. Say whatever you want to say, no matter how stupid it sounds. It wasn't like that with Edward. I had to be careful with what I said so I didn't anger him.

"Look, Bella," Jacob stopped laughing immediately and looked at me. "I need to talk with you. Seriously."

"Then talk."

"Do you still love him?"

I hesitated, beginning to pull away. "…. Jake… I don't want to –"

"Please, just tell me. I need to know." He bit on his lip and closed his eyes. "No matter how much it hurts."

"I didn't think you still felt that way for me." My voice came out breathy and confused. I hid under my eye lashes and bit on my lip.

"You think I can get over you that easily?" His eyes snapped open. I was starting to miss the easy conversation from before. "Really?"

"Well, yeah, I hurt you…" I mumbled, and then took a deep before speaking again. "Because I wanted someone else. You should hate me."

"Oh, I don't hate you… I –" He stopped himself and shook his head. "I forgave you long ago."

I shook my head. "That was stupid. It's not normal to be so forgiving."

"This is coming from Bella?" He was starting to get angry, I could tell. I squeezed his hands and rubbed circles with my thumbs. "The girl who forgave little Cullen in a heartbeat?"

_Twice,_ I mentally corrected him. "Anyway. I'm glad you forgave me, I guess. I do love being your friend, Jake."

"You too, Bells." He grinned, all anger forgotten. "You have no idea. From now on, you have to visit at least at least once a week. No exceptions."

I nodded. "We've got no homework because it's summer. I can come over more often than that, if you'd like."

"Sure!" He looked excited now. "That would be great! Screw Edward. Screw the whole Cullen family and visit me every damn day!"

I bit my lip. I knew that wouldn't be possible, even I wanted to – I couldn't stay away from Edward for more than a day without missing him immensely. I even missed Emmett, Jasper, and Alice when I wasn't with them. They were like family.

"You can't do that, can you?" It was an accusation, not a question.

"I can't. I'm sorry. But I'll come as often as I'm able."

"Do they own you, or something? Are you working for them? Do they _pay _you?"

"Jake! No. I just like hanging out with them. I didn't visit for ten years, and I –"

"It sounds more like a full time job to me." Jacob grumbled, looking away from me.

I reached out and pulled his face to look at me. He stared at me with wide eyes. I took a deep breath before I spoke: "I hang out with them because _I want to_. They don't own me, or tell me what to do, or whatever." I sighed and looked away from him, thinking of Edward's words. "They're just looking out for me."

"They don't need to. I won't hurt you. You know that."

"I know. I told them that."

"Then they shouldn't have a problem. And if they do, they can answer to me." He nodded and leaned back in his chair, still holding tightly on my hands.

"No, they won't." I sighed and looked out at the water. The sky was beginning to darken around us… had I really been here that long? "I'd better get going."

"Have to feed Charlie?" Jacob joked and stood up. I stood up with him and we walked back to my truck, hand in hand.

"You betcha," I smiled. We made it to my truck and he turned to look at me.

"I'll see you soon, Bella." He raised an eye brow. "Right?"

"Yes." I laughed and opened the door. "Bye, Jacob."

When I pulled into my driveway twenty minutes later, two other cars were parked on my street. A huge, white Jeep and a shiny, silver Volvo.

"You've been gone all day." Edward walked to me as I got out of the warm cab and into the rain. "Without telling us where you were."

"You knew where I was." Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper were standing behind Edward, on the lawn. Alice was looking at me apologetically, Rosalie watched with a straight face, and Jasper and Emmett stood with their arms folded.

"Yes, but we didn't know if you were ok."

"We? I think it's more like _you_, Edward. No one else seems to mind that I was gone for so long." I put one hand on my hip and eyed him seriously. "I think you're on your own, on this one."

Alice grinned from behind her brother. Rosalie cracked a smile and the two boys started to laugh.

"I'm not." Edward looked back at his friends for confirmation. "Right?"

"Well, we kinda knew she'd be ok." Emmett rubbed the back of his head. "I mean, that Black boy couldn't hurt a fly."

I raised an eye brow, completely disagreeing. I think Jacob could kill someone if he wanted to. He was definitely big enough. "Yeah, see? You were wrong. I'm fine. Now, will you please get out of my way so I can go inside?"

I knew I was being harsh, but I was really irritated with him. Why did he feel the need to wait at my house for me to come home? Was I really in that much danger? I didn't think so, and I didn't think any other of our friends did either. So what was his problem?

He moved out of my way and I walked up my porch steps. I unlocked the door and stood in the doorway. "Do you guys want to come in?"

"Sorry, but I gotta be home." Emmett said.

"My parents and I are going to a play in Port Angeles tonight. I have to get home." Rosalie frowned.

"And… Jasper promised Carlisle and Esme he'd come to dinner tonight." Alice latched onto Jasper's hand and smiled at me. "Sorry. But I don't think Edward has anything planned."

I looked at Edward, biting my lip. "Would you like to come in?"

Edward took a deep breath and nodded. "Sure." He threw his car keys to Alice and walked up to my porch steps. "Alice, tell Mom and Dad I'm having dinner at Bella's."

We all said our goodbyes and I led Edward inside. I immediately washed my hands and started to get the ingredients together for roasted chicken and vegetables.

"Can I help?" Edward asked, rolling up his sleeves.

I nodded and tossed him a carrot. "Sure. You can slice the carrot."

We prepped in silence. Nothing but the sounds of knives hitting the chopping board and the over warming. I was still a little annoyed at him, but I had taken all my anger out on pulling apart the chicken.

Charlie came home and found Edward and I cooking together.

"It's still gonna be just you and me, right?" He asked, poking his head in between us.

"Uh… I was hoping it would be ok if Edward joined us tonight." I mumbled, sneaking a look at Edward who was watching me.

"It's ok. I don't have to stay if it's any trouble." He smiled politely and stepped away. "I can go right now, if you'd like."

"Uh… no, it's fine…" Charlie grumbled as he shuffled away from us and left to change upstairs.

"I don't want to cause any trouble." He looked at me apologetically.

_You've already caused enough._ "You're not. I don't want you to leave." _I am an idiot_.

Dinner was ready within the hour, and the three of us sat down to eat at Charlie's small kitchen table. We ate in silence, Charlie sneaking glances between Edward and I, while I tried not to focus on Charlie's suspicious gaze. It was tough.

"I saw Jacob today." I just _needed_ to break the silence. No matter what I said, the tension was becoming too much.

"Oh." Charlie perked up instantly and grinned at me. "Did that go well?"

Edward tensed beside me.

"Yeah, it went great. We just talked and caught up by the beach." I nodded, trying to ignore Edward. "I promised to see him again soon."

"Good." Charlie said, "It's good you've gotten over your… uh…"

I blushed slightly. "Yeah."

Edward's fists had clenched around his knife and fork, and I instantly regretted bringing up Jacob in front of Charlie. I slid my hand under the table and squeezed Edward's knee; he relaxed instantly. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Dinner ended slowly, and Edward 'left' around eight. He promised me he would come into my room tonight, so we can 'talk'. I was a little nervous about what exactly that entitled, but I knew it had to be done.

I took my time cleaning the kitchen, in the shower, and then getting changed. Charlie stayed downstairs and watched baseball, so I told him goodnight before I disappeared to my room. I didn't know what to expect while I waited for Edward to climb through my window and sit on my bed.

"About today… I'm sorry I acted so rationally. I –"

"It's fine. I know you worry about me, but there's really no need. I can take care of myself, and –"

"Bella, I don't _worry _about you." He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him. "I feel very… _protective_… of you."

_Protective _was so different from _worried._ Protective meant you were possessive, guarded, worried but taking it to the next level; worried meant you felt the _need _to protect.

"Why?" I whispered.

"Because you're my best friend. I – well, you already know I care about you. You are my world, you do know that." He sighed.

Hearing him say that sent butterflies free in my stomach. My heart swelled and my head swam. I had totally forgotten that I was mad at him – I couldn't even remember why.

"I -… you mean the world to me, too."

"I think you misunderstand, Bella." He chuckled softly and held me tighter. "You _are _my world. The world could never be worth as much as you."

* * *

**I had to stop there. It felt right.**

**So. Jacob Black returns! What's going to happen now? More angst, drama, and all that good stuff (: **

**This is the last chapter for the week. I think four updates in two days is pretty good, right guys? XD**

**Please review!**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Uh. What a horrible week. I hope writing cheers me up, or you guys are in for a pretty angsty chapter. **

**Dc: I do not own Twilight. **

* * *

How did I end up _here_? In Edward's house… in Edward's _bed_, wearing…

_My underwear_?

This was a dream. This had to be a dream – this kind of thing just doesn't happen to me. I don't end up in my cute best friend's bed, wearing hardly anything; but where was he? Was he next to me, where I secretly hoped?

I looked around his dark room. Nothing but the thin strand of light seeping through the door allowed any light. I couldn't see much, but I strained my eyes into the corner of the room, where I somehow knew someone was there… watching me…

"Jacob?" I spat in surprise, immediately pulling Edward's blankets up to my chin. I didn't want to admit I wouldn't have covered myself if it was Edward there. But I had to.

"Why are you in his bed?" His growled at me, crossing the room. Suddenly everything was bright, like the lights had never been turned off. It was day time again, and for once I wished it were night time.

"Why are you even here?" I shook my head. "Where's Edward?"

"He's right next to you." He pointed a long finger to my right, and I looked over. There was Edward, sleeping soundly despite the noise and sunlight. He wore only his boxers, no shirt. Wait, someone remind again… why was Jacob here?

"So he is." I observed, looking back to Jacob. "Could you please get out?"

He blanched. "How could you sleep with him? You dirty, filthy, w –"

My eyes slowly opened, to my vaguely lit bedroom. The birds chirped loudly outside, alerting me that it was somewhere around five-thirty in the morning. I sat up and ran a hand through my hair, opening and re-opening my eyes to stop the blurriness.

What kind of dream was that? That was _odd._ More than odd. It was… familiar. Had I had that dream before?

No. I was sure I would remember something like that.

I got out of bed and headed towards my wardrobe. I started packing a bag for the Cullen's place, knowing Alice had invited me to stay on one of our last weeks of summer.

The last few weeks had been heaven. For me, anyway. I had seen Edward and the rest of the group every day, including Jacob. I had managed to balance Cullen time, as well as Jacob time. Edward was never going to be happy about me going to La Push, but he kind of learnt not to complain. Or, he just pretended not to notice. I preferred it that way, and so did he.

When I was with the Cullens, I spent most of the day hanging around the Cullen house, occasionally visiting various malls with Alice, playing video games with Emmett, going to book stores in Port Angeles with Jasper, having lunch with Carlisle and Esme, and making up for Edward and I's lost friendship. We did this slowly, by revisiting all the places we used to love as children. The river outside Edward's house. The forest outside mine. Either his or my bedroom. My ratty old kitchen (I really don't know why we loved that place so much). And sometimes, we'd go to Port Angeles on our own for dinner. The others suspected there was something going on, but we knew there wasn't, so it didn't bother us.

I think he was starting to like me more. _Like-like _me more. He loved to hold my hands and occasionally pull me into his arms. Rosalie was still in our way, but not nearly as often as before. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett were all for it. But Jacob… he wasn't so keen.

"He's going to play you again." He had said, one day while we sat in his small bedroom eating cold pizza. "Don't trust him. Be friends, sure, but for God's sake, don't be more than that."

But how could I? I loved him. I knew as soon as the opportunity came up, what Jacob told me wouldn't matter anymore. I was hooked on my own brand of drug I liked to call _Edward Cullen_. And nothing Jacob or Rosalie or Charlie could say could get me off it.

Which brought me to my next point. The more I fell in love with Edward, the more pain I was feeling. It doesn't sound right, but I couldn't help but wonder if this is all for pity. He promised me it wasn't, and I believed him, but something deep down told me otherwise. I was probably being overcautious and stupid, but what happened last time still lingered in my head, still latches onto my heart strings and pulls – I knew it was something I could never recover from.

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts, and headed downstairs. I grabbed a granola bar and my coat and ducked through the rain to my truck with my bag over my right shoulder. I quickly started the engine and drove to the Cullen house, where I knew Edward and Alice would be waiting on their doorstep.

And they were. They both greeted me with open arms and led me inside to where Esme was baking chocolate brownies and Carlisle was about to leave for work. It was exactly how I had remembered from my childhood – Carlisle's always busy, and Esme never is. Any other way would be criminal.

"Hello, Bella." Carlisle and Esme smiled at me and spoke in synch. Edward lightly took my hand and towed me upstairs before I could say anything back. Alice danced back downstairs towards the wafting chocolate aroma, leaving us alone.

"Hey Edward," I frowned slightly and left my bag on his bed. "What's up?"

"Jacob came here last night." His happy expression from before dropped off his face and turned into a scowl. I immediately went into defense mode; Jacob came _here_? To the Cullen house? Oh, no…

"What happened?" I asked.

"He came over here like the idiot he is and knocked on the door. Carlisle answered and recognized him, so he called me over and left us alone. He then went on to say that if I even tried anything with you, he would pummel me into the ground." He fists tightened and he looked away.

I was instantly suspicious. "What else happened?"

"Nothing."

"Edward…"

"It almost turned into a fight. We were arguing over… who would be the better man for you."

I bit my lip and looked down. This subject was touchy, one I had argued about with myself many times. Who would be better for me, and who was the one to judge that? Not either of them, obviously. And yet they try to persuade me every time. What was with these boys?

"Did Carlisle break it up?"

"Alice did." He smiled slightly. "She's small, but she's sure got a loud voice."

I couldn't help but laugh. "So… why didn't he tell me about this?"

"Probably because I won." Edward's face changed back to the happy one from before, and now a little cocky. I slapped him hard in the chest, but he just laughed.

"What's going on in here?" Alice asked, dancing inside and hooking her arm with mine. She looked between Edward and I with a sly smile. "I know the sound of spanking when I hear it."

"I slapped him in the _chest,_ Alice, the _chest_!" I exclaimed with a roll of my eyes. Her and Emmett's sexual jokes were really starting to get on my nerves – I mean seriously!

"Alice, you are so damn embarrassing." Edward hung his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was just as sick of the jokes as I was.

Alice giggled and started towing me out the door.

"Rosalie's waiting outside with the car. We're going to Port Angeles for some girl time." Alice whispered to me, with a quick wink Edward didn't catch. She turned around to speak to Edward. "Emmett is outside, too. I think he is taking you and Jasper to something called… Laser tag?"

"Laser tag!" Edward gasped, shooting out the door ahead of us. His small moment of childish immaturity made me burst into laughter, having only seen the sight very few times. I heard him yell in the distance, "Bye Bella!" And then the sound of a speeding engine.

Alice and I walked out to where Rosalie was waiting with her convertible. The hood was up, but that did nothing to detour the bright red paint job. Despite the rainy mist of the Northwest, the car still managed to look like something out of a magazine.

"I hope you brought a lot of your Daddy's cash, Alice, because we're going shopping!" Rosalie cheered as Alice and I slid into her car. She acknowledged me with a small smile. "Hi, Bella."

"Hey Rose." The car sped out of the driveway and started for the highway. "Shopping again, guys? Really?"

"You betcha!" Alice giggled from the front seat. "I'm getting sick of all my clothes."

"Alice, the last time you bought something new was probably online… this morning."

Rosalie covered her mouth to muffle her laughs.

"That's not true!" Alice gasped.

"Hey, I saw Carlisle's credit card bill, and it was the size of a house." Rosalie interjected, and then threw her head back to laugh. "Seriously, it was no small amount."

"He doesn't care, really. He wants his daughter to look good." She shrugged. "Can't help that. It's not my fault."

"Oh, shut up. We all know Carlisle wouldn't care what you wore, he'll always love you." Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. Does he want to see me with last year's Gucci purse? Not really."

We made it to Port Angeles and hit the closest designer store (not that there were many). Alice and Rosalie scoured the racks in seconds, plucking the prettiest and most flattering pieces and throwing them over me. I struggled to catch each piece of flying clothing before they hit the floor.

"Change room time!" Alice giggled, running towards the change room at the back of the store. I lugged their piles of clothing and accessories to the back of the store and took the seat outside the changing room.

While they tried on clothes, I let my head rest on my hand and my eyes close. I still felt tired from waking up so early this morning, and my confusing dream has really taken it out of me. I started to nod off when Alice and Rosalie pulled me up and stood in front of me.

"Bella's turn!" Alice exclaimed, dancing away from me and heading back into the main part of the store. I was horrified to think of the clothing she would pick out for me; no doubt revealing, skin-tight clothes that made me look and feel like a whale. No way was I going to let that happen.

"I'm happy carrying your clothes. You know, being your butler." I mumbled.

"No way. We are here to shop for you, too. I'm getting sick of the whole skinny jeans, band t-shirt kinda look. It's bores me." Alice scoffed and started plucking the racks once again.

Three hours later, we finally left Port Angeles with five full bags of clothing. Two for Alice, two for Rosalie, and three for me. Don't ask how I ended up with three. All I can say is I never want to see another pair of stilettos or Italian handbag ever again.

"That took awhile…" Jasper laughed, when we walked into the Cullen home carrying all our bags. "Let me guess, Alice bought he most?"

"Actually, Bella did." Rosalie said, dumping her bags on the floor and sitting beside her boyfriend. "Well, technically, Alice bought it all for her. But whatever."

"Bella?" Edward asked in shock. "Pleased don't tell me you're turning into my sister, for the love of God."

"No, no!" I gasped, shaking my head madly and flopping down on the floor beside him. "Definitely not."

"Thanks, Bella, I love you too." Alice mumbled.

"They made me try on… so… much… stuff…" I put my head in my hands and pretended to sob. "I thought I'd never see any of you guys again! It was terrible!"

"It's going to be alright, sweetheart." Edward put a hand on my shoulder. "It's over… it's going to be ok…"

We all laughed at the ridiculous situation and I sat up to survey the room. They boys had their game paused, and their controllers on the ground _before_ we came in. It wasn't often they stopped playing. Whatever this is, it must be important.

"What were you guys talking about?" Alice asked, obviously on the same thought pattern as I was.

"Girls. Fast cars. Action movies." Emmett shrugged, a huge grin on his goofy face. "The norm."

Rosalie and Alice rolled their eyes, while I just scoffed.

"You guys aren't manly enough for that." I grumbled under my breath, instantly regretting it. I was heard by Edward, who stared down at me in shock and amusement.

"Did Ms. Bella just undermine our manly-ness?" Emmett gasped, imitating Jasper's Southern accent the way he often did. Jasper shook his head while I nodded. "Well, I can't think of a way to prove anything without grossing you out."

"Well, Edward doesn't have a girlfriend. That instantly says something." Alice pointed out knowingly. "Oh, and he's a v–"

"Ok, Alice, too much information." Edward laughed a little nervously, which made Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie burst into laughter. I looked up at Edward with a teasing grin, and he just looked at me with a red face.

"No need to point out something we already know, darlin'," Jasper chuckled, wrapping an arm around Alice's small waist and kissing her cheek.

"True that." Emmett shook his head and laughed. He suddenly stared at Edward and I intently, his eyes switching back and forth.

"What?" Edward asked.

"You two are just so innocent and cute." Emmett grinned, and I slapped my hand to my forehead like everyone else did. And here we thought what he was going to say was _important_.

"I'm the same age as them!" Alice said.

"Yeah, you're cute… but not so innocent." Emmett wiggled his eye brows suggestively. Alice looked horrified. "Oh yes, little Alice, Edward and I both know."

"Jasper!" Alice slapped him over the head. "What the hell!"

"I'm sorry!" Jasper whined.

"You should be! If Emmett shared any of those details, I…" Rosalie trailed off as the nervous smirk replaced Emmett's grin. "I would absolutely murder him!" She lunged at him, pinning him on the ground.

Esme and Carlisle walked into the room and appraised the scene with speculative glances. Rosalie immediately jumped off Emmett and sat beside him instead.

"I was just murdering him for –" She began.

"Telling all his friends what you do together? Yeah, I know how it feels." Esme glared at Carlisle playfully. Edward and Alice cringed while Rosalie, Emmett and I started to laugh. "Men are idiots, never forget that."

"Hey!" Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle and Edward all yelled at the same time.

"Well, they're probably right. I mean, why do you think Edward hasn't asked Bella out yet? Because he's an idiot." Emmett shook his head sadly.

Edward shot him a look that said, _Dude, in front of my parents_? While I just hid my face in my hands. Carlisle and Esme announced they were going out to dinner alone tonight, so we would have to cook for ourselves. I was yet to tell my friends I was hoping to visit Jacob sometime today.

"Hey, I promised I'd meet Jake today." I said casually, while we played _Call of Duty: Black Ops_.

"Oh." Edward put his controller down at looked at me. "Ok… you'll be coming back here, right?"

"You just want me to cook you dinner." I rolled my eyes and stood up.

Edward shook his head. "No, I actually want you to come back. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." Right at that moment, I was tempted to sit back down. The look in his eyes told me he really _would _miss me. It was hard to leave him. "I'll see you later."

"Bye!" Everyone called out.

I arrived in La Push a slow half an hour later. Jacob wasn't waiting for me outside, which I decided was a bad thing. He was probably mad about going to Edward's house the other day. How was I going to make him feel better when I felt what he was doing was wrong?

He was in the kitchen with Billy. He left his dad at the table and walked outside with me, taking my hand and getting into my truck. I frowned at him in confusion; where were we going?

"I need to talk to you today. I wanted to take you to a nice place I know." He said, as I started the engine. He directed me for several minutes before we made the turn off into more mountainous terrain. We climbed higher into the mountains until he told me to stop in the middle of a dirt road.

We both got out of the truck and began walking. I could see the beach, from up here – it stretched on forever, surrounded by the deep forest, and then brooding sea.

"This is really pretty." I said, looking around at the view. We walked slowly and lazily against the wind.

"Yeah." Jacob was taking deep breaths from next to me.

I looked at him. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah. I was… hoping to do this differently, I guess. But I don't know if it's already too late to change your mind."

"Do what?" I asked in confusion.

He grabbed onto my hand and pulled me to a stop. He turned me to face him, until our faces were close. I instantly stared to recoil, but he held onto my wrist hard.

He started to move closer, but I arched my face away. "Jake…"

"Bella." He breathed, closing his eyes and loosening his hold. I kept my hand in his, and he gently squeezed. "I wanted… to bring you up here… to…"

"Spit it out, Jacob." I smiled slightly.

"Ok." He took a deep breath. "Bella, I'm in love with you, and I want you to choose me instead of him."

I instantly frowned and looked away. Something told me I should have expected this – I knew he loved me. Even I never really acknowledged it like I could have, I knew. And it wasn't in the way he acted. I just _knew_.

"I know you love me to." He tilted his head to look into my eyes. I looked back with what I guessed was a tortured frown. "You're just… clouded by Cullen."

"Edward." I corrected, and then shook my head. "Jake, you know I don't feel that way about you."

"I don't believe that." His eyes never left mine.

"Why don't you? I love Edward… you know that better than anyone."

"Like I said, you're confused. You don't know how to love anyone else besides him." What he was saying was probably true, but my love for Edward wasn't like that. It wasn't desperate like he described.

"That's not true, Jacob. I can't help who I love, and I'm sorry it's not you." I knew it was harsh, but what else was I supposed to say? I couldn't lie. I couldn't do what Edward did to me. Jacob was too precious.

He refused to believe it. "No. I don't buy that."

"How can you not buy that?" I ripped my hand out of his and took a step back. My foot skidded against the wet mud, but I managed to keep my balance. "What I'm telling you is the truth! Stop twisting it into something else!"

"I'm not twisting anything, Bella." He took a few steps closer. "I'm just telling it how it is."

I started to turn away. "You wouldn't know! You –"

"Bella, watch out!"

As I took my fourth step back, my feet slid out from under me, and I landed on my wrist in the sloppy brown mud. "Dammit!" I yelled in pain and Jacob ran to help me up. I cradled my wrist to my now muddy chest and glared up at him. "This is your fault! Take me home!"

**(A/N: I feel an Eclipse-ish scene coming on…)**

Jacob quickly ran me to my truck and sat me inside. I frowned and held my wrist to my body while he drove me back towards Forks.

I called Edward on the way. I don't know why I did, but he was just the person I needed to talk to. I definitely didn't want to talk to Jacob, who had his eyes fixed on the road.

"Bella?"

"Hey, Edward." I sighed into the phone. "I'm on my own way home."

"Why are you calling? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, I just… hurt my wrist."

"You _what_?"

I cringed. Jacob shot me a sidelong look which I purposely ignored. Jerk. "Yeah, I slid in the mud and fell on it."

"Mud? Why were you in the mud in the first place?" He exclaimed, already sounding furious without hearing out the whole situation. That was so Edward. I heard Emmett say something about "mud wrestling" in the background.

"We were just walking, and I didn't see where I was going. I slid on the mud and fell down…" I sighed. I still felt the need to defend Jacob, though I was mad. "It happens to me all the time, remember."

"I don't care. He brought you back harmed. I'll be waiting for you."

Like I'd hoped, Jacob took me back to the Cullen house. Edward waited on the porch and quickly walked towards my truck. I spotted the rest of the gang behind him, not approaching.

Jacob stayed close to me as he got out of the truck.

"What did you do?" Edward growled at him, barreling towards us faster. Jacob held his hand out to block him from me, but Edward pushed it away. He stepped closer to him.

"I didn't do anything. She fell." He snarled back, sticking out his chest and facing his rival.

"Edward, I just tripped. I'm fine. Don't get worked up." I cautioned him, hoping they'd break apart. They didn't. They only came closer until their noses were almost touching. "Stop."

"What did you do to her to make her fall?" Edward asked suddenly.

I cursed. That was the worst question he could have asked, because I knew Jacob would answer. He had that smug smile on his face that I hated so much.

"I told her I loved her."

All hell broke loose. The tension that had been brewing in the past few weeks exploded, and Edward put both hands on Jacob's chest and shoved. Jacob stumbled, but only for a moment before regaining his balance and shoving Edward right back. Shoving soon turned into punches, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

"Stop! Guys, don't! Just –"

Carlisle appeared, flanked by Emmett and Jasper. Carlisle put a hand on either one of them and held them apart.

"Don't do this. Take a step back, and calm down." Carlisle stared at his son, and then Jacob. They were both taking deep breaths, still glaring at each other. "What happened?"

"I told Bella I loved her." Jacob said again, and I buried my face into my hands. I heard Edward's feet scrape the ground as he tried going again, but Carlisle held him back.

"Edward, get inside. Jacob, go home."

"He doesn't have a car." I spoke carefully.

"I'll take him home." Esme said, stepping forward and looking at Jacob. "C'mon, Jacob."

Jacob walked towards Esme, but looked back at me. He smiled widely and nodded. "I'll see you later, Bella."

_Go to hell,_ I wanted to say, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I just looked at him for a moment before he turned his back on me and disappeared with Esme.

"C'mon, Edward." Emmett and Jasper had to fasten their hold on Edward more than once before he finally budged. He got pulled away, leaving Carlisle, Rosalie, Alice and I.

"Let's go inside, and I can examine your wrist." Carlisle smiled at me, not a hair out of place. He wrapped an arm around me and led me inside. Alice stayed with me, but Rosalie went to check on Edward and the boys.

My wrist was only sprained. Carlisle wrapped a bandage around my arm and gave me some painkillers. "Are you ok, Bella?"

I nodded. "Yes. I'm fine. This is my fault. Jacob didn't lay a hand on me."

"I know." He sighed. "Edward just has a bit of a temper when it comes to you."

I bit my lip and took a sip of the water Alice had gotten me. She stood beside us in silence.

"I'm going to go and see him." I mumbled, smiling slightly for Carlisle. "Thank you for helping me."

"It's alright." He answered. "You go and calm him down."

Alice stayed behind to talk to her father while I made my way up the stairs. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Edward were in Edward's room, all crowded around him and talking in hushed voices. Edward was nodding at something that Rosalie said, but looked up when he saw me.

"Bella, sweetheart, I'm sorry." He stood up and pushed past our friends. He came to stand in front of me and took both of my hands. He lightly ran his thumb over my wrapped wrist. "I'm not going to say I'm sorry to him, but I definitely sorry you got hurt."

A small smile betrayed me. "I promise, it was purely my fault. I slipped on the mud, because well… you've known me long enough to know I can barely walk without injuring myself."

He chuckled and pulled me to him. Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper all sat behind him, watching us with soft eyes. Even Rosalie, who usually remained emotionless at these kind of situations… had a small smile.

"I can't believe, he told you that… before I –" He abruptly stopped himself as he spoke into my hair. He became aware of our audience. "We can talk later, alright? Mom and Dad are going to leave as soon as Mom gets back, and we require your master cooking skills."

"Of course you do." I grumbled, pulling away from him and quickly standing on my toes to press my lips to his cheek. Emmett and Jasper purposely _awwww_ed, and Rosalie covered her mouth with her hand.

We went downstairs, and Carlisle examined my wrist one more time before they left. The six of us voted on Cottage Pie for dinner, which I quickly prepared and then put into the oven. We stood around the kitchen, waiting hungrily for our team-meal to be finished.

Edward and I exchanged little smiles through dinner. Whenever I looked up, I found him looking at me and smiling crookedly. I wasn't sure if anyone else seemed to notice, but I sure did. How could I not, when his smile was so beautiful?

Edward and I volunteered to wash up. The others left to watch the football game on television while Edward washed and I dried. It started off in silence; but soon turned to laughter when Edward began tossing sudsy handfuls of bubbles at me.

"Hey!" I shrieked and put down the plate I was drying. I grabbed another handful of soap and dumped it on his perfectly styled hair. He gasped.

"Isabella Marie Swan!" He exclaimed, removing his washing gloves (Which looked incredibly girly, might I add) and throwing them onto the counter. "You'd better run."

I saw him grab another handful of bubbles, and I took off. I sprinted towards the living room and ran right in front of the TV. Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper watched me with amused smiles, and then burst into laughter when Edward followed me covered in soapy water.

"You get her, Edward!" Jasper cheered, and it didn't take a genius to pick up the double meaning.

He grabbed me from behind, just before I got to the sink. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me back, running his fingers through my hair, purposely soaking it. "Get off me!"

"Never!" He laughed and let go of me. I unplugged the water, and all the bubbles drained from the sink. "Aw, Bella, you wrecked it."

"I'm soaking wet!" I looked down at myself then back up at him.

"So am I, what's your point?"

I shoved my fingers into his chest and turned away from him. I started for the stairs, but he caught me again just as he had done in the kitchen. He leant close to my face and whispered, "You aren't getting away this time, Isabella."

My heart skipped at his double meaning. I couldn't help but melt into him, letting him lead me towards the living room where the others sat. They took in our appearances and raised their eye brows.

"What _have_ you two been doing?" Emmett asked in surprise, though I knew he was faking it. They were all eavesdropping on everything we said, and Edward and I knew it.

"Bubble fight." I answered. Emmett laughed.

"Well… we were just about to head upstairs." Alice yawned.

"Alice, its 8:30." Edward said with a frown. "You can't seriously be tired." He started to look between Jasper and Alice, and that's when I caught on. "Alice, you're not going to bed yet. And when you do, Rosalie is going to be sharing your bed, not Jasper."

"Aw! But that's not fair! You get to sleep with Bella." Alice pouted.

"Yes, I do, and –" Emmett's loud guffaws interrupted whatever Edward was about to say. We all face palmed at Emmett's immature mind, but I still couldn't help but blush. "Anyway, that's not the point. You're my sister, and you know Mom and Dad wouldn't want you two sharing a bed."

"Fine. Charlie wouldn't like Bella sharing a bed with you, either." She folded her arms and glared at her brother. "So, she will be sharing my bed with Rosalie and I."

"But…" Edward stared at her. "But Charlie doesn't know. She's done it a thousand times, and he's never cared."

"That's because he doesn't see the kind of sexual tension that we see." Alice pointed out. Emmett and Jasper choked on their own laughs.

"That's not the point. Alice, you know –"

"Don't I get a say?" I asked idiotically, my mouth once again responding without my brain giving its consent. Because now, I was going to be embarrassed.

"Well, what do you want to do, Bella?" Alice asked me with a devious smile. She wasn't stupid – she knew who I was going to choose.

"You know what I want." I mumbled.

"What was that, Bella, I didn't hear you."

"You know what I want." I repeated, this time a little louder.

"WHAT, BELLA? I can't hear you!" Emmett shouted at me.

"_I WANT TO SLEEP WITH EDWARD_!" I screamed, causing us all to jump. Emmett and Jasper grinned, Rosalie smirked, Alice giggled, and Edward watched me with surprise.

"Well, well, we _definitely _heard you that time, Bella." Alice smiled. "And you get your wish. You may sleep with Edward."

"Oh c'mon… Will you please stop saying that?"

"Alright, alright. But if Mom and Dad figure it out, they'll probably tell Charlie." Alice looked at Emmett and smirked. I didn't like it. "So don't make too much noise, alright?"

"Alice!" Edward gasped and glared at her. While everyone else fell over themselves laughing, Edward and I sat there, frozen. "Seriously, Alice? Oh my God, I hate my sister."

Edward and I decided to go upstairs while the others all high fived. I felt like I was never going to go back to being pale again; my cheeks would be forever stained red.

"Well, let's just pretend that never happened." Edward sighed and sat on his bed. We were semi dry now, but still planned to take a shower. (One, because Edward's shower is a lot more extravagant than mine, and two, because I fell in the mud today).

"Right." I grabbed my backpack and headed into the bathroom. "I'll be out in a minute."

I let the shower loosen my muscles slowly, closing my eyes and leaning my head on the cold wall of the shower. My hair dripped down my back, almost to my waist now. Time was moving too fast – we would be going back to school in three weeks, this time without Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett. The thought was a little scary.

I unwillingly wrapped myself in a towel and searched through my backpack for a clean t-shirt. Had I forgotten to pack a second t-shirt? That wasn't like me.

"Uh…" I looked around dumbly. What was I supposed to do? Go out there with no shirt?

"Bella?" Edward asked, lightly knocking on the door. "Are you alright? You've been in there for an awfully long time."

"Y-yeah… I just…" I took a deep breath and tried to ignore my rapid heartbeat. "I forgot to pack an extra shirt."

"Oh… well, I can ask Alice to lend you one. Or…" His voice came out shaky. "You could borrow one of mine?"

The thought of his scent, enveloping me as I slept, was all too tempting. Though it would be embarrassing saying yes to the latter, I just had to. When was I going to get into this situation again?

"Um, sure, I can borrow one of yours."

He left, and came back a few seconds later. He passed a faded blue t-shirt through the door, and I quickly dropped my towel and put it over my shorts. It hung down to my mid-thigh, but it smelled just like him. Delicious.

I came out and put my bag down. "Thanks for the shirt."

"No problem." He was already gathering his things for a shower. He quickly ducked into the bathroom, and the shower started running in seconds.

I decided to look through his little wooden box again. I took it off the dresser and carried it over to his bed, where I curled up and opened it. I took out the various pictures and looked over them, smiling.

"What are you looking at?" He asked, walking out of the shower, his hair wet.

I took a moment to catch my breath before I recovered. "Your wooden-box stuff."

"Let's not focus on the past," He sat down beside me and closed the box. He put it on his nightstand and looked back at me. "We should talk about the future."

"The future… ?" I asked, confused. He must have thought I was an imbecile.

"Where do you want to go to college?"

"Um… I was thinking…" I shook my head. "I don't know."

"Me either." He sighed. "My parents would like me to go to an Ivy League, but I don't think I'd get in. I might be stuck at the community college."

"Me too." I smiled. "Maybe we can go together."

He grinned back. "That sounds good. Come here."

I crawled closer to him, and he twirled a lock of my damp hair around his finger. I watched him as his lips twitched, and a small frown formed on his face. He frowned too much; I wanted to smooth out the crinkles between his eye brows. He was too beautiful not to smile.

"Bella, I…" He choked on his words. "I know… our friendship hasn't been the same, since… what happened with Rosalie…" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "But somehow, I feel like we've become stronger. I feel more attached to you than I ever have, and I hate being away from you."

"I hate being away from you, too. I always have. It's never changed." I breathed out my confession.

"I know. I've been so terrible through all this, I just don't know how to handle… this… situation, rationally…"

"There is no situation. We are best friends." I lifted my hand to twist my fingers in his hair. I left them there, occasionally twisting a lock around my fingers. He closed his eyes and breathed evenly.

"I feel like we're more than best friends." He whispered. "But… in the way that… our connection exceeds the norm."

"I know." I couldn't agree more. There was no way to explain it other than that.

"I think I dislike Jacob so much, because… he's trying to steal away my best friend. Trying to take her away from me because he wants her for himself…" He gritted his teeth and then took a deep breath to calm himself down. "When really, he doesn't deserve her. She's too good for him… hell, she's even too good for _me_."

I smiled and lightly tugged on his hair. He laughed and touched my lock of hair to my nose.

"Hey! Keep it down in there!" Emmett was knocking on our door, his voice gradually getting quieter. So, he was eavesdropping, huh?

I got up and slammed on the door. "Emmett McCarty, go the hell away!"

"Whoa, ok, ok…" I could hear him walking back down the hall towards the guest room. I didn't think the girl-boy sleeping arrangements would last.

"Remind me again why we hang out with them?" I laughed and made my way to one side of Edward's bed. I fluffed the pillow and pulled the covers back.

He chuckled and followed my actions. "Sometimes, I wonder the same thing."

* * *

**Ok. I'm starting to think my Bella and Edward are stupid. Seriously, how are they not picking up on that CONNECTION? I even wrote the words. Sheesh. It's official. They need to wake up.**

**Who agrees?**

**Well, you will get your wish…. Soon enough. Be patient, for just a little longer…**

**And please review! XD**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: … not much to say today! Just thank you for the reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

I didn't speak to Jacob for the next week. It wasn't even because I was mad at him anymore – I just didn't want to have to look into his eyes and know that he loves me. It seemed childish, but I didn't want to have to say no to him officially.

But… I had to tell him there was no way we could ever be together – because I definitely didn't love him like he loved me. It could cost me a friendship, but I'd rather lose him than hurt him. There was no way around it, and it was actually Esme who told me that.

"I know you care about him." She had said, when we were sitting the kitchen together waiting for Alice and Edward to come back with Italian food from Port Angeles. Carlisle was on his way home from the hospital. "But you have to let him know how you feel. It's better telling him before he falls anymore in love with you." She had smiled, like it was the greatest thing in the world. I failed to agree.

I felt like I was having déjà vu; I was in this position a few months ago, when I had to break up with Jacob. This was different, though – this time, he may never want to talk to me again. I was rejecting him for his enemy… how could anyone forgive for that?

Jacob and Billy came to Charlie and I's home for dinner on a Sunday evening. I had decided a few days prior that I would tell him tonight. Even if it caused a scene in front of Charlie and Billy. They both knew of Jacob's feelings (because he was easy to read), so they would instantly know what had happened. And I would seem heartless. But what if they knew I was rejecting him for someone else? Someone they both disliked?

This night wasn't going to be easy.

Charlie called pizza for the four of us, and we ate and talked. Or, Billy and Charlie talked. Jacob and I sat together at the end of table, not saying a word. He watched me the way Edward often did, which worried me a little. Did he already know? Had he guessed?

After dinner, the two men settled into the sofa to watch a basketball game, and I took Jacob up to my room. As soon as I closed the door, he clapped his hands together and smiled at me.

"It's ok; you don't have to say it. I know you've brought me up here to tell me you love me." He grinned and came to stand in front of me.

I shook my head. "No, I haven't. I've come to tell you there is no way I will ever love you. I never have and I never will."

He hid the pain on his face with a sneer. "You don't know that. Take some time away from Cullen, and you'll start to feel different. He's just influencing you."

"_Edward _isn't influencing anyone. Especially not me. So stop assuming and take this like an adult." I held my ground and tried to be firm. I almost crumbled when a flicker of agony shone in his eyes; but I regained myself and bit my lip to stop the tears from sprouting into my eyes.

"He doesn't deserve you, Bells. You're way too good for him." His voice turned soft and he lent down to look into my eyes. "Please, hear me out. He probably talks smack about me all the time, just to turn you off."

"He doesn't. He never says anything about you. He let me you see you every day for the past two weeks without any complaints. You were never so gracious."

"Because he practically has you on a leash. He treats you like a pup. 'Oh no, Bella, you can't go over there. Come back here, doggy!'"

I slapped him across the face. He recoiled and shook his head, staring at me in surprise.

"Don't look at me like that. You know you deserved that, you big jerk!" I shoved past him and went to my window. I pulled it open and stuck my head out, hoping the cold air will make me think logically instantly of violently.

"I just don't love you, Jacob, why can't you grasp that?" I spoke softly and talked out to the window. I squeezed my eyes and shut and listened to his footsteps getting closer.

"Because I don't want to. I've never loved anyone before, Bella, and I can't get over it. You're the only girl that gets me. Please, don't reject me so easily."

"I'm sorry, Jake, but I love someone too. And _I _can't get over it."

"You don't know that. You haven't even tried."

"And have _you_?" I stood up and turned to face him. He was closer than I thought. "Have you even tried thinking of me as _just a friend_?"

"You'll never be just a friend to me."

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "And I thought I was stubborn."

"Look, Bella." He took both of my hands and looked into my eyes. I had to blink several times to clear my head. "I am going to let you have some time on your own. To think. Because I love you more than he does, I won't pressure you to choose anyone yet. But I will be waiting – after school goes back in a week and a half, you'll probably have an answer. Drop by and let me know." He grinned and let go of my hands. "I think my Dad is leaving. Let's go back downstairs."

I numbly followed him down the stairs. Like he said, Billy was wheeling towards the door with Charlie behind him. They both gave us suspicious looks as we came down the stairs, but they soon got over it.

"I'll see you later, Bella." Jacob smiled slightly and started pushing Billy out the door.

"Come back soon, guys!" Charlie called happily while Billy was being carefully lifted down the stairs of our porch.

I closed the door and turned to Charlie.

"Well, you and Jacob sure had a heated argument upstairs, didn't ya?" Charlie asked casually, trudging past me and heading back towards the living room. I followed him.

"What? You heard?" I gasped, my face reddening.

"Not the exacts words, just a few grunts every now and then." Charlie stopped suddenly and raised an eye brow. "You were, uh, arguing right?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed, putting my head in my hands. "Oh my God, Charlie, don't be so embarrassing. We weren't even arguing, really, just talking."

"Right." He fell onto the couch and watched the screen. "Will you be seeing Jacob tomorrow?"

"No. I might just… hang around the house. This summer has been pretty full on, and I just want to have one day where I don't do anything."

"I see what you mean. Well, I'll try not to wake you up in the morning."

I nodded and headed towards the stairs. "Good night, Dad."

"Night, Bells. Love you, kid."

My throat became thick. "Love you too, Dad."

I got ready for bed slowly and then curled up under the covers. Knowing my friends, I wouldn't end up staying here all day tomorrow. They would either come here looking for me, and I'd go there looking for them. It's the way it's gone for the past three weeks.

I was asleep in minutes, dreaming of Edward and Alice and Jacob and Rosalie. Emmett and Jasper rarely appeared in my dreams, and I guessed that was because they were in the neutral party. I was thankful for them; whenever I needed an escape from the ongoing war, I turned to my big brothers. The thought made me smile as I drifted off to sleep.

"Bello! Bello! Bello! Bello! Bello!"

I cracked my eyes open to peer into the hazy morning light. I could hear moving around in my room, and I hadn't quite found the energy to look around yet.

"Bella! Belly! Bello! Bells! Bellt! Bellf! Bellp!" Emmett continued to scream in my ear. I finally snapped my eyes open and sat up straight in my bed.

"Emmett! How the hell did you get in here!" I yelled, eyes wide and mouth gaping. Edward, Alice, Rosalie and Alice were also in my room, positioned in different poses in different corners.

"You keep your spare key under the eave. It's not hard to break in." Emmett laughed and moved away from me.

I groaned and grabbed my pillow. I put it over my face. "I look terrible in the morning. All of you, get out."

"No way, Bells. You're gonna have to live with us."

I pulled the covers off me and stumbled out of bed. I walked into the bathroom and pulled a brush through my hair while the others sat in my room laughing their asses off. Idiots.

"Emmett, I hate you!" I complained as I walked back into my room, feeling slightly more refreshed. Edward brightened when he saw me and walked over. "Edward, don't think I'm happy with you. You snuck into my house too."

"It wasn't my idea, I swear." He smiled crookedly. "I'm just the one who knew where the key was."

"You're lucky Charlie isn't here, or you'd all be screwed." I looked at all of them and then poked Edward in the chest. "Especially you."

"Edward… screwed…" Emmett started to giggle like a school girl.

"Shut up, Emmett." Alice waved him away while he laughed. "Anyway, what are we going to do today? Summer has gone so fast, and we've only got a week and a bit."

"I know." I sighed.

"But, when we get back to school… do you know who's birthday it is?" Edward asked with a huge grin. I slapped my forehead.

"Who's?" Jasper asked.

"Bella's!" Edward and Alice cheered at the same time. My whole room buzzed with excitement, while I just pouted. Edward just had to tell them, didn't he?

"Thanks a lot, guys." I grumbled, folding my arms over my chest. It dawned on me that I was still in my pajamas. "You're great friends."

Edward shook his head. "Why don't you like your birthday?"

"Who would want to celebrate my birth, anyway? It's just a waste of time. And all the presents… and…" I cringed. "Money. It's disgusting."

"I knew you were weird, Bells, but not _that_ weird." Alice giggled. "Not that it changes a thing. I'm still going to buy you something. You're turning eighteen! That's huge!"

"Yeah right." I shook my head and glared at Edward. "If you even think of buying me something, I'm going to come after you and rip you happily to shreds."

"Ouch," Edward put his hands up in defeat. "Fine. I won't spend a dime on you."

I narrowed my eyes. "Why don't I believe you?"

"I won't buy you anything, alright? Trust me. I promise. And, I'll try and rein in my sister."

"_Try._" Alice interjected.

"Yes, _try." _Edward looked at me and smiled.

"And that means you two, Emmett and Jasper." I turned to look at them. "No presents from you, do you hear me?"

"We hear you." They said in synch.

"Right. Now that that's sorted…" I walked to my dresser and grabbed a few items of clothing for today. "I'm going to go get dressed. You guys can decide what we're going to do today."

I got changed, and my thoughts drifted to Jacob. Did they have any idea of what I had told him last night? Could they guess? And more importantly… should I tell them? I knew they worried about Jacob and me. Or, Edward did…

I ignored those thoughts. I was going to make the most of this summer. I walked out of the bathroom and stood before them, waiting for the plan of action for today.

"I think we're going to do something on our own, Bella." Edward told me. "The others want to hang around home. Would you like to go hiking with me?"

Hiking. I knew what that meant – the meadow. _His _meadow. _Our _meadow. How could I pass that up?

"Sure." I nodded and looked around at the others. They all looked back at me with small smiles. "Sounds good. When do you want to go?"

"Now." He stood up and took my hand. He looked back over his shoulder. "We'll see you guys later. C'mon, Bella."

"You can let yourselves out, guys, just make sure you lock up." I told them.

I followed him downstairs and out the door. I climbed into the driver's seat of my truck and started the engine. "To the trail?"

"Yep." He nodded and looked at me. "Though it's raining today, I thought it would be fun… to be on our own for awhile. Before the summer ends."

I smiled and pulled out of the driveway. "That sounds good. I was hoping we'd visit this place again before school starts."

Twenty minutes later, we were hiking just as we were last time. He carried me just like I'd hoped; my wrist was still a little sore, and he didn't want me injuring it further. Not that I had a problem with him carrying me.

"I'm starting to rely on you a little too much." I mumbled, mostly to myself.

"That's not such a bad thing…" He smiled and looked at me. "Seeing as I'll never let you down."

We arrived at the meadow within minutes. His last comment had still left me feeling a little dizzy, but I soon recovered enough to gaze around the meadow in awe. It looked even more beautiful than before, now that it was getting close to spring. The wild flowers had grown until they were up to my knees in a sea of purple, white, yellow and green.

"It never gets any less beautiful, does it?" Edward said, putting me down on the ground. He kept his arm around me while he watched my eyes roam the small space.

I shook my head. "It doesn't. I would take a picture, but it would never do it justice."

"I've tried."

We both laughed and took a seat beside each other in the grass. I lent my head on my hand and peered down at the beautiful flowers – he sat facing the opposite way, pulling my hair off my face. It was the kind of scene I imagined would be in some sort of romance movie. **(A/N: Or Eclipse, perhaps… ;))**

"We're sitting in a picturesque meadow, and you're too busy making sure my hair isn't bothering me." I smiled and looked at him. The reflection caused by the flowers colored his face in a light violet. His hair hung loosely in his eyes, which were fixed on me. I took a deep breath.

"Who says you're not picturesque, too?" He asked.

The blush that covered my cheeks gave away my embarrassment. He surprised me by leaning down and kissing my overheated cheek, then pulled back and continued tucking my hair behind my earlike nothing had happened. My heart was going into overdrive.

"I told Jacob I couldn't see him anymore." I whispered against the silence. I could almost feel him cringe beside me.

"How did he take it?"

"He said he'd wait for me." I closed my eyes.

"He's going to be waiting a long time, then." Edward kissed my cheek again. Seriously, were best friends supposed to be this… _kiss-y?_

I had an epiphany. Something that Edward had said only a few days ago echoed through my head, setting off another round of impossible questions, only adding fuel to my mental fire…

_But… in the way that… our connection exceeds the norm._

Our connection exceeds the norm. No, he was wrong – it didn't. Not for two best friends, anyway. For example: Rosalie and Edward were best friends, and some would say their connection exceeded the norm. It did… but ours most definitely didn't. Because we didn't share a _best friend_ kind of connection. No, we shared much more than that. Something stronger.

"You've realized." Edward whispered, his face close to mine. I hadn't realized how close he was – only inches from me, until I could smell his sweet breath on my face. He had been getting closer.

"Yes." My voice was almost as breathy as his was.

"What are you going to do?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. I don't know…"

He smiled crookedly and put a finger under my chin. He lifted my head slightly to face him directly. His eyes swam with warmth and adoration. He leaned closer, until his nose touched mine, and then…

"Bella, wait." He pulled back.

I gawked. I was angry. Not only was my body disappointed, but my mind was too. I was so close to _real _happiness. I hadn't felt whole in a long time, and right now… I was so close. My heart was yearning for that _fullness_ that my body longed for.

"What is it?" My voice came out sharper than I had intended.

"I don't know if I want this. You're so important to me, Bella, but I don't want to wreck what we have here."

"You just said it yourself. We have something different from friendship. Hell, I don't even think we have friendship anymore. It's more than that, and you know it."

"I know, I know! I don't need reminding. I want to kiss you as much as you want to kiss me."

Though I was mad, the meadow still spun around me as my heart reacted. "Then why didn't you? Why are you holding back… again? What have I done wrong?"

"You haven't done anything wrong, sweetheart, I promise you." His voice turned soft again as he looked into my eyes. "You could never do wrong. This is all my fault; I'm just confused."

"Confused about what?" My voice became softer now, too. We may as well have not been speaking – his eyes spoke more than words ever could.

"What I want. I want – well, I want you, of course, and –" He smiled at me apologetically. He was so cute when he was nervous. "Wrong and right are bothering me. Having some sort of battle in my head."

"What's wrong saying?" I frowned.

"It thinks I shouldn't get to have you after all that's happened. That I don't deserve someone so sweet and kind and soft… it thinks I could break you in an instant. _That_ is something I agree with, though. Let's just say… you're too gorgeous for wrong's own good."

I blushed. "And what's right saying?"

"I like right a lot better." He smiled a little wider. "It's saying you're perfect for me. You're exactly what I need, my parents aside. _Right _wants you a little too much."

I couldn't believe we were talking about _right_ and _wrong_ like they were real people. But if it helped us sort out our problems, then I was fine with it. "I think I like right too. I think you should listen to right."

Edward's smile faltered. "I'm sorry I'm causing you so much trouble, Bella, I really am. But when I'm with you, my judgment is clouded. At the same time, I can't bear to stay away from you." He sighed and looked at me intently. "Promise never to leave me. Never go back to Phoenix, but if you do, take me with you."

I nodded. "I promise. I don't want to leave you, either. Because, Edward, I… well, I…" I swallowed hard and forced myself to look at him. "I haven't been able to express how I feel, lately. Especially with Jacob, and Rosalie –"

He tensed slightly. "Ignore Rosalie. She doesn't matter. This is about you and me, not her."

I nodded. "I know. But she is becoming better, you know. I think we _could_ come to like each other one day. _Could._"

"I wouldn't trust her just yet. Although…" He shook his head and smiled slightly, obviously remembering a past memory. "She gave me a firm talking to just the other day. She told me I had to stop messing with you, or she'll punch me in the face."

My eyes widened slightly. Rosalie? Defending _me_? "Wow."

"I know. I was just as surprised as you were. I was ready to defend your honor the first moment I could, but she beat me to it." He chuckled and looked at me, a soft smile on his face. "You really know how to change people, Bella. For the better."

I smiled and crawled closer to him. He surprised me by pulling me onto his lap and hugging me to his chest. We sat like this what could have been hours; a new wall had been struck down between us, and we seemed closer than ever. Literally.

The rain became harder around us. Though we hadn't come to a conclusion on our situation, we knew this was the right time to leave. Edward swept me into his arms and began for my truck, out of the beautiful meadow and back to reality.

And that reality was Jacob.

_Again_? My mind screamed, when I pulled into my driveway. Edward's hand tightened around mine, and his expression became fierce.

"Stay here." I ordered him, jumping out of my truck and striding to Jacob. He wore a pair of cut off jeans and a tight black t-shirt; could he be showing off his muscles anymore? "Jacob, what are you doing here?"

"You didn't answer your phone. I was worried." He answered, his voice tight. "I suspected you were with him. Or _them_."

"We talked about this. You promised you'd leave me alone." I glared through the rain. "So… leave me alone. Now."

"You should have taken a phone. I was worried – I thought he had taken you somewhere, and –" He crunched his teeth together with an audible snap and glared behind me. Edward had gotten out of the truck and began walking over.

_Uh-oh_. This time, Charlie or Carlisle weren't around to help me. What if this broke into a fight? Or were the others still inside? One look across the street told me otherwise; no, they weren't. There was no car.

"Edward. Wait for me inside." I shot him a desperate look. He ignored me.

"Jacob. Bella told you to leave. Will you please grant her wish and _go away_?"

"You don't speak for her." Jacob glared against the rain pouring down his face. "You shouldn't even be here. Go back to your fortress in the deserted forest where you belong."

Edward lent forward. I immediately put myself between them, pushing Edward back with my hands pressed against his chest. Any other time, and my heart would be hammering. "Edward. Don't listen to him. He's just trying to make you mad."

"When will you understand that she's _mine_?" Edward retorted, glaring over my head. He curled his hand around mine and squeezed. "And only _mine_?"

"She can't be bought, or owned. Last time I checked, she's a human being." Jacob said. "Who said she's yours? She's probably chosen me, by now." His eyes travelled down to Edward and I's hands, and he bit his lip with anxiety. "Or, she will."

"You're too late." Edward shook his head, his face mocking. I cringed. "She's already made up her mind. Now, go home, before your Dad realizes you're gone."

That made Jacob mad. He stepped closer to Edward and I, until I was pressed against both of their chests.

"Will you two both stop? Stop it. I'm sick of this!" I forced myself out the tight space between their bodies and moved to stand beside them. "Don't fight."

"Because I love you more…" Jacob stepped back, nodding. "I won't fight. Not today."

"Oh, well aren't you perfect?" Edward sniffed.

"Oh please. _Will you please grant her wish and –_" He stopped his imitation with a roll of his eyes. "Seriously. Wake up to yourself."

Edward shoved him with his arm.

"Hey! What did I say!" I pushed Edward back with all the strength I could muster. Which wasn't much. I tried pushing him towards the porch, as well, but that didn't seem to do much, either. "Go inside. I'll see you there."

After much hesitation, Edward nodded and walked to the porch. He opened the door (which proved our friends forgot to lock it) and closed it behind him. Jacob and I turned to each other.

"You promised you'd give me time. Why haven't you kept your promise?" I asked him, my hair dripping in my eyes.

"I… needed to make sure…" He scowled and started to back away from me. "I needed to make sure he hasn't hooked you already."

I glared at him as he backed away. I waited for him to run to a car, but he never did – he jogged into the foggy distance.

* * *

For the rest of the day, Edward stayed with me. I knew it probably wasn't wise, seeing as we had reached a new level of proximity. He now seemed to love having me in his lap, tucked under his chin where he could have easy access to my hair. Every few seconds, he would lower his head to my nose, my cheek, or my forehead, and place a light kiss. The affect his actions had on me were almost staggering.

And then Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie returned. Apparently, they had briefly left the house to get something to eat, but I knew that was just a cover up to 1. Give us some time alone, and 2. Because they forgot to lock the door.

"_He-llo_ you two." Alice gasped, as my friend walked in on Edward and I curled up on the sofa. He was in the middle of running his nose across my cheek. "What have _you _guys been doing?"

"Uh, hey Alice." I mumbled. Edward sighed and pulled his face away from mine. "Just walk in uninvited into my house?"

"Yep." Emmett answered and sat in the arm chair across from us. Rosalie sat on his lap, and Jasper sat on the floor in front of the TV. "Did we… interrupt something?"

"That depends." Edward mumbled under his breath.

"Well, excuse us…" Jasper chuckled, with raised eye brows. His eyes ran over our position, making me blush. Did they really have to walk in _now_?

I sighed. "Stay. It's fine. We were about to get up, anyway."

Edward looked at me with sadness. I rolled my eyes and settled back into the sofa/Edward.

"_Anyway_…" Alice passed the awkward silence. She looked at me with an eye brow raised. "Do you really want to be sitting like _that_ when Charlie gets home?"

Edward and I's eyes went wide, and I scrambled off his lap. I moved to the other side of the sofa. Everyone in the room laughed, but my eyes trailed to Rosalie.

She now sat on the arm rest of Emmett's chair, her arms folded as she speculated us carefully. I was reminded of the talk she had with Edward – did she really tell Edward to stop leading me on? _Rosalie_? The once conniving bitch that told me I should go back to Phoenix and stay away from Edward all together? Could she be… trying to help me?

She cracked a small smile. Something told me she had expected this all along – the barrier being dropped between Edward and I, I mean. She could see it clearer than anyone else could; because she knew Edward so much better. Sure, Alice was his brother, but Rosalie was the one who had mended him when I left. Rosalie was like what Jacob was to me. Edward needed Rosalie as much as I needed Jacob.

Why were things so complicated?

A few hours later, Charlie came home. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper left, leaving Alice and Edward to have dinner with Charlie and I. It was just leftover pizza from the night before, but none of us seemed to mind.

Edward stayed with me that night. As I fell asleep, he hummed me a beautiful melody – one of full of joyful highs and sad lows that explained our current situation perfectly. I could barely sleep afterwards; I was too busy crying. Edward eventually heard me sniffling and wrapped his arms around me, placing soft kisses on my forehead.

He began whispering things to me when kisses didn't calm me down. I heard the words "love" and "friends" and "us", but I fell asleep in his arms before my tired mind could piece them together.

* * *

**(A/N: I was going to stop here, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. So, because I love you all, I'm going to write a little more (: Warning: Who knows where this could go…)**

In the morning, I was awoken to the sounds of my Father's footsteps stomping through the house. I looked up to find Edward sleeping soundly; but he needed to wake up. Charlie was close.

"Edward." I whispered, lightly shaking his arm. "Edward, you need to wake up and hide."

His eyes slowly opened. He got up and lumbered towards my closet – just as I heard Charlie's footsteps get so loud I knew he was on the other side of that door. Edward started to move a little faster and slammed the closet door shut, just as Charlie poked his head in.

"What was that?" Charlie asked.

I held my hand to my head. "Ow! I hit my head on my headboard."

Charlie narrowed his eyes. "You did? I thought that loud noise came from your closet."

"You're right. I threw my phone at it." I pointed towards my closet, where my phone was indeed lying innocently on the floor on a pile of my jeans. I had trouble not letting my eyes wander towards the small crack in the door, where I could see the bronze of Edward's hair.

"Right." Charlie frowned at me. "I was just checking you were ok before I went to work. I'll see you later."

"Bye, Dad."

He left, and I waited for the door to slam before I ran over to the closet and threw myself into Edward's waiting arms. We laughed together, tears in our eyes. My heart was beating rapidly from the excitement and adrenaline of almost being caught, but I was thankful we weren't. Edward could have died.

"I'm a little afraid to stay here again." Edward chuckled, as walked down the stairs together.

"Charlie was just being nosy. He probably won't ask again."

We ate breakfast and then headed to the Cullen house. Carlisle and Esme didn't even ask where Edward had been last night – they were really awesome parents. I guessed they assumed Edward wouldn't do anything stupid, and me either. I was also grateful they had never mentioned anything to Charlie.

"Didn't come home _again._" Alice folded her arms and shook her head. "You're such a rebel, Edward."

"You know it, little sister." Edward laughed and ruffled her hair. "But knowing you, Jasper didn't go home last night _either._"

"Shhh!" Alice slapped Edward and covered his mouth with her hand. "Don't talk so loud!"

I laughed. "So, we're not the only ones breaking rules…"

Alice glared. "Hey! I'm sure you two aren't as innocent as you seem."

I raised an eye brow. "Oh, you can talk. All that Edward and I do is sleep and talk. What do you and Jasper do? Well –"

"Ok! You can shut up now!" Alice shrieked, jumping at me and covering my mouth with both her hands. Edward laughed and pulled Alice away from me. "Bella, if you ever say any of that out loud again, I am going to go to the station and tell Charlie you and Edward have been fogging up the windows in your room every night for the past two weeks."

I was stunned into silence.

"Ok, you win." I mumbled in awe. "Wow, you're just as evil as Emmett."

"Yep. And I can be worse. So you two had better keep in line!" Alice warned us and danced away, into the kitchen. Edward and I looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper didn't come over until after lunch. They claimed they had college stuff to look at, which made us all a little sad. They wouldn't be going back to school with us – what would become of our little group?

"Oh my God, you can't replace me with some other strong guy." Emmett exclaimed in alarm. "And you can't replace Rose with some other stunningly beautiful girl! Oh, and you can't replace Jasper with some other emo guy!"

"I'm not emo!" Jasper gasped.

"Yes you are. But anyway…" Emmett went on.

"You won't be replaced. Trust me." Alice told Emmett, putting a hand on Jasper's. "You're going to meet us after school every day, right?"

"Of course." Jasper answered with a smile. "I'll be there to scare off any guy who tries to make a move on my girl when I'm not there. Hell, I might even magically appear to kick some senior ass."

"I'll join you." Emmett agreed. He looked at Alice and I. "If any guys tries anything on my little sisters, I swear –"

"I think I can take care of that." Edward laughed. "Though, I'm sure Mike Newton is at large once again. I might need your help."

"We'll be there." Emmett grinned. "That's what a gap year is for, right?"

* * *

**A/N: That was fun. The last part at the end was just something extra, I guess. Hope you liked it all the same (:**

**Please review! **


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Again, thank you for all the wonderful reviews (: I love you all! **

**About ending the story. I'm not sure how much longer it's going to go, to be honest – it's not that I'm running out of things to write, (definitely not!) But, well, we all know what's going to happen. Would it really be that interesting repeating things you already expected? I'm not so sure… but we'll see :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

* * *

The moment I opened my eyes, I knew this day was going to _suck. _Because, well…

It was my birthday.

I always had the worst luck on my birthday – when I turned seven, I fell off my bunk bed and broke my arm. When I turned thirteen, Renee's car got tail boned on her way to work. And when I turned sixteen, my pet chinchilla died. Though nothing terrible has happened since then, I didn't trust myself.

And to make that all worse… I knew everyone would get me a present.

With a sigh, I pulled my legs over the side of my bed and stood up. Today was Saturday; which meant I didn't have school. That was good, in a way, but also bad – none of my other friends could wish me a happy birthday, but now the Cullens would probably throw an extravagant party. Or take me out somewhere expensive. Oh, no…

I had a shower and got changed. I was in a sour mood, I could already tell; the way my feet dragged on the ground and my mouth was formed in a permanent scowl. There was nothing more I hated than September 13th.

I walked downstairs slowly, switching on the lights as I walked. Just as I was about to turn on the kitchen light, someone else beat me to it…

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELLA!" Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, Edward, Carlisle, Esme and Charlie all screamed at the same time. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie wore brightly decorated party hats, and Edward and Alice held small wrapped presents. The parents all grinned at me widely.

I tried to force a smile, but I'm not sure what it must have looked like. "Uh… thank you?"

Charlie came forward and wrapped his burly arm around my shoulders. "How does it feel being eighteen?"

I hated it when parent's asked this question. I've been eighteen for about… six freaking hours? And I've only been conscious for one of them. "Um… the same?"

"Happy birthday, dear." Esme and Carlisle smiled and pulled me into a hug.

"Thanks." I grumbled, trying to be gracious.

"Belly!" Emmett ran forward and lifted me in the air. He swung me a round, making me dizzy, and then sat me on the ground. "Happy birthday, little sister!"

"Happy birthday, Bell." Jasper smiled and pulled me into a hug.

Rosalie smiled slightly. "Happy birthday."

Alice propelled herself into my arms, hugging me tightly and burying her face into my shoulder. "I can't believe you're eighteen!"

"Um… neither can I?" I asked.

She pulled away and grinned. Edward stepped forward and took my hands in his. "Turn that frown upside down, sweetheart. At least _try _to be happy?"

My eyes switched to Charlie's when Edward called me 'sweetheart'. Charlie didn't react right now, though he looked like he would later. I tore my eyes away and looked into Edward's sweet green ones.

"C'mon, Bella. Smile? For me?" His own smile could never compare to mine. I would look ordinary beside him.

But, because he told me too, (And because I'm a sucker), a small smile spread across my lips. He laughed and pulled me into his arms, hugging me tight. The others stood back and watched us, smirking. Well, Charlie was a little tight lipped, but the others seemed delighted.

"Edward told us not to get you anything, but we couldn't help ourselves." Esme spoke and handed me a small, white envelope. I took it off her and sighed as I ripped it open.

"Plane tickets?" I asked in disbelief. I read the fine print and gasped. "To _Phoenix_?"

"We thought you might want to visit your mother." Carlisle smiled pleasantly.

"Thank you so much…" I actually _was_ grateful. Though these were over generous, I did miss Renee an awful lot. The thought of seeing her brightened my day marginally. "Really."

"You're welcome." Esme smiled.

Charlie stepped forward and handed me two presents; one, a large, rectangular shape. The other, a pink camera with a ribbon tied to the front.

"Dad…" I looked down at the camera, biting my lip. "You shouldn't have."

"Actually, that one isn't from me. It's from Renee. She wanted you to take as many pictures as you could so you can show her when you visit." He chuckled and shook his head. "Esme and your Mom have been in touch."

"Of course they have." I looked at Esme and smiled. Edward held the camera for me while I ripped open the other gift. It was leather covered scrap book, every page empty. I looked up at Charlie. "Is this to put the pictures in?"

"Yep." He grinned.

"Thanks." I smiled and ran my hands over the smooth leather. I could feel Edward's eyes on my face; watching for a reaction.

"Bella, you have to open ours next!" Emmett grinned at me, his hands empty. I looked at him blankly. "I already installed it in your truck."

"Installed… _what_ in my truck?" I asked.

"A new radio. The one in your old machine is _terrible._" Jasper laughed and grinned at Emmett and Rosalie. "We thought we'd help you out."

"Hey, my truck isn't old." I grumbled, and then had a second thought. "Well, it is, but…"

"Bella, I know I promised no presents." Alice spoke next. She danced over to me, holding a small box wrapped in blue paper. "But I just _had _to get you this. It will suit you perfectly."

I raised my eye brows and ripped open the paper. I lifted the lid on the box, where a small bracelet lay. The thin golden strands weaved in and out of each other in a complicated pattern. Near the clasp, there was a small heart shaped locket – it was beautiful. And expensive.

"Thank you so much, Alice." I smiled at her and opened my arms for a hug. She hugged me and then kissed my cheek. "It's beautiful. Will you help me put it on?"

She clasped the bracelet around my wrist and examined it. The others watched with smiles, while my eyes began to tear up.

"You didn't buy me anything, did you Edward?" I asked him, wiping my nose. "Please tell me you didn't."

His smile was soft. "I didn't spend a cent."

"Good." I nodded and smiled at my friends and family. "Thank you all so much. I love every one of my presents."

"You're welcome!" They all chorused.

"Now, let us make you breakfast." Esme and Carlisle grinned and turned away from us, towards the kitchen counter. Charlie lumbered towards the living room, and Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, Alice, Edward and I joined him.

"Congratulations. You're no longer the only one in the group that's still eighteen!" Emmett cheered, once we had all sat down on the floor near the TV. Charlie flicked through the channels, watching the screen.

"Thanks so much, Em." I smiled. "Just because you're some snotty nineteen year old, doesn't mean you have to tease me."

"Actually, it does." Jasper chuckled. "Though you are officially an adult."

"You hear that, Dad?" I laughed and looked back at my Dad. "An adult!"

"Right, right. I know." Charlie chuckled and shook his head. "That doesn't mean you don't still have a curfew. Or… visiting hours." He looked at Edward pointedly.

_The visiting hours. _This is how they went – any one of my friends were allowed to come to my house, at any time before midnight. Alice was the exception. She could come and go as she pleased. Edward was not allowed in my house between 7:30am and 10:00pm. I suspected this was because Charlie was trying to put some distance between us (not that it worked, seeing us he snuck into my room five out of seven nights a week… but Charlie didn't know that).

"I know, Dad." I sighed and turned back to my friends. "We're not doing anything special today, are we?"

"We're having a party tonight." Alice shrugged. "I invited some of your friends from school."

"You did?" Damn! I thought I had gotten out of seeing my other friends. "Why?"

"Because it wouldn't be your _birthday_ without a _party_." Alice rolled her eyes, and then smiled. "Silly."

"But what about us? Can't it be… just… a small… get together, or something?"

"No way!"

I sighed and turned towards Charlie. He wasn't there – when had he moved? When I looked around further, I realized he was walking through the front door, shaking the water out of his coat.

"What's that?" I asked, staring at the tiny cardboard box.

"Your birthday present from Jacob." Charlie walked forward and handed me the box. The tension in the room sky rocketed. "Harry Clearwater just dropped it off."

"Oh…" I took it from him and forced open the box. Inside, was a small velvet bag. I looked at it and smiled. "Wow, that's really pretty."

"I think there's something _inside_ of that, Bells." Charlie chuckled and walked out of the room.

I opened the velvet bag and tipped a small bracelet into my hand. When I looked closely, I could see it was a charm bracelet. There was only one charm; a small, wooden wolf. It was howling at the moon, its ears pressed against its head. Its fur was small scratches in the wood.

"Wow." I breathed, mostly to myself. The others watched with expressionless faces.

I slipped the bracelet over my right wrist and hooked the clasp. I shook my arm, staring at the bracelet. The others watched me as I stood up and headed for the phone. I dialed Jacob's number.

"Bella?"

"Hey, Jake." I looked down at my bracelet.

"Happy birthday, honey." It sounded like he was smiling. "I'm sorry I'm not there."

"It's ok… hey, thanks for my present." I smiled slightly. "It's beautiful."

"No problem."

"Did you carve the wolf yourself?" I lifted my arm to examine the wolf again. It was so lifelike.

"Yeah. Billy taught me how, but I'm not anywhere as good as him."

"I think it's amazing." I could hear the others in the room next to me, whispering to each other. "Thanks again. Maybe I'll see you soon."

"Maybe. What else did you get for your birthday?"

"Plane tickets. Another bracelet. A scrapbook and a camera." I looked into the kitchen as I spoke, watching Esme and Carlisle beating eggs while Charlie stood behind them, observing.

"Wow. Nice."

"Yeah." I looked back into the living room, where my friends tried to look innocent when I knew they were eavesdropping. "Look, I'd better go. I'll see you later."

"Bye, Bells."

I hung up the phone and walked back into the living room. When they all gave me _the look_, I shrugged. "I had to thank him. It would be rude if I didn't."

"Is he coming over here?" Edward asked.

"No."

They all grunted, but their moods brightened. Esme called us to eat breakfast, and we all sat around Charlie's small kitchen table and ate our pancakes and scrambled eggs happily.

* * *

Much to my happiness, the day passed quickly. After breakfast, everyone except Charlie headed to the Cullen house. He told us he would stop by later, before the party started. And so began decorations.

Emmett, Edward and Jasper left to hang lanterns in the nearby trees. Alice set up the speakers and food tables, and Rosalie and Esme started cooking. I sat on the couch reading a book I had bought with Jasper just the day before.

"Hey, Bella." Someone whispered to me from around the corner. I looked towards the voice; Edward was standing, beckoning me forward. "Come here."

I put down my book and walked towards him. He took my hand and led me outside, where we sat behind a huge Maple tree, shoulder to shoulder. He kissed my hand and grinned widely.

"Why are you in such a good mood?" I asked with a shy smile.

"It's your birthday. Why wouldn't I be?" He laughed and leaned in to kiss my overheated cheek. He was incredibly fond of kissing me these days (everywhere but my lips).

"Shouldn't you be happy on _your _birthday, not mine?" I asked skeptically.

"Well, yes, but…" He shook his head. "Don't kill my buzz, Bella."

I laughed and rested my head on his shoulder. He kissed my hair and ran his nose from my forehead to my own nose. He always teased me like this – purposely breathing on my lips, just to make me want him more. It wasn't fair, not really; I felt extremely deprived. Did he not realize how much I wanted to kiss him?

"You're truly irresistible, Bella." He breathed, placing one last kiss on my forehead. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him. Could he hear the frantic beating of my heart?

"I know I didn't _buy_ you anything for your birthday, but I do want to give you something." He leaned away to pull something out of his pocket.

He handed me the jewel case with, _Dearest Bella_, on the cover. I took it from him and looked at him. "What's on it?"

"Every song I've ever written for you. Including the songs I wrote to you during our… separation." He told me softly.

"You've written songs for me?"

"Well… they don't have _words._" He clarified. "More like… melodies."

"That's beautiful." I whispered, watching the light rain fall around us. "When will I get to listen to them?"

"Tonight." He whispered into my ear.

I smiled and nodded. I leaned up to press my lips lightly to his cold cheek, and he shivered, but not from the cold. "Thank you for my gift."

"You're welcome, sweetheart."

After that, we went back inside. No one had noticed we had gone; not even Alice. Her smile told me she had been waiting for this – was there no privacy in this house?

"Bella, it's time to get dressed!" Alice shrilled, taking my hand from Edward's and pulling me towards the stairs. I looked back at Edward pleadingly, but he just shrugged and smiled.

"Now… wait until you see what you're wearing." Alice giggled and pulled the door to her room closed. Rosalie was sitting on her bed. "Because my parents will be there, it's nothing to revealing. Though, it should compliment your shape perfectly."

I rolled my eyes slightly and followed her to her closet. She whipped it open and pulled out a dress covered in eye lit lace. A thick belt was hung around the middle, ruffling the lace around the waist. It would go up to just above my knee, and show off a little more of my chest.

"It's gorgeous." I breathed, staring at it, up and down. "Let me put it on."

"Wow. I never thought I'd hear her say that." Rosalie gasped. Alice giggled, and I went into the bathroom to change.

I came out a few minutes later, wearing the dress. I stuffed my jeans and t-shirt into my bag and walked to Alice. "How does it look?"

"You look _adorable._" Alice grinned and hugged me. She whispered into my ear, "Edward is going to _love _you. I think tonight is the night."

"The night?" I asked.

"Yes. The night that he reveals _all_…" She took my head and pulled me into the adjoining bathroom. Rosalie followed us, and they sat me down and stood behind me.

"I'll do her hair." Rosalie grabbed a brush and started pulling it through my damp hair.

"Ok. I'll do her makeup…" Alice went to work.

Half an hour later, Alice and Rosalie were finished with me. My hair was curled in huge ringlets all the way down my back, down to my waist. My make up was light yet stylish.

"You can really rock an innocent look, Bell." Alice observed, while Rosalie and Alice stared at me.

"Thanks." I blushed. "But now it's your turn."

Rosalie showed me how to apply eye liner properly, without poking Alice in the eye. When we were done, she told me I was a natural – which delighted me. Rosalie really seemed to be making an effort to be my friend, and I tried to do the same. I knew one day, we would become as close as Alice and I.

An hour later, both Rosalie and Alice were done. Rosalie was a long, elegant red dress with a plunging neckline. Alice wore a small sky blue dress with a low neckline. I had a feeling they put the most effort into my outfit for tonight, only because it was my birthday.

"Thanks guys." I smiled at them as we walked down the stairs. "I actually feel comfortable in this."

"We know." They smiled in synch, and we walked off towards our boyfriends.

Wait, did I just call Edward my boyfriend? I was losing it. Truly losing it.

"You look beautiful, as usual." Edward smiled crookedly and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"Be careful of her hair!" Alice scolded, swatting his arm away from me. He chuckled and settled for holding my hand.

Carlisle and Esme walked downstairs, each in their own party clothes. The boys all wore similar clothing – button up shirts with black slacks. Edward looked especially handsome in a white shirt that complemented his eyes. Wait – were we supposed to be _matching_?

Alice grinned at me, just as the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!"

It was Jessica, Angela, Mike, Eric, and Lauren. As soon as Alice opened the door, they peered around the room with awe and amazement. I realized they had never been here before; unlike me, who comes here all the time.

"Happy birthday Bella!" They told me, all giving me a hug. Well, except for Lauren. She barely smiled.

"Thanks, guys." I smiled at them and accepted their gifts. I shoved them in a corner and told them I'd open them later. "It's great you could come."

"We wouldn't miss it for the world!" Jess sung. Meaning: _We would take any excuse to come to the exclusive Cullen home_.

"Alright, well help yourself to whatever you want." I motioned towards the huge food table. Emmett stood in front of it, his arms folded and his teeth gleaming in the fluorescent lights. Our guests looked _scared_.

In the next few minutes, car loads of kids arrived. I didn't even know some of them – well, I did, but not well enough to ever speak to them. Yet, they greeted me happily and gave me presents. Edward stuck to my side the whole time, without fail. Carlisle and Esme stood on the stairs, watching carefully. Occasionally they'd disappear up the stairs.

About an hour into the party, there was a knock at the door. At this time, Edward had gone to look for Emmett and Jasper. So, I was left to answer the door. I didn't expect who I saw.

"Jacob? Embry? Quil?" I said. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We heard there was a party. We were wondering why we didn't get invited." Jacob grinned at me and stepped inside. I closed the door behind them, closing my lip.

"Maybe because…" I almost had to yell over the booming music. "Anyway, Jake, it might not be a good idea for you to be here. E –"

"You're wearing the bracelet I gave you." Jacob pulled my wrist from my side and examined it.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I?" I pulled my wrist slowly away from him. "I love it."

"I'm glad." He smiled and looked back at his two friends. "You guys go and enjoy the party. Enjoy the _seniors._" He laughed.

Quil and Embry disappeared into the crowds, leaving Jacob and I alone.

"Bella?" Alice appeared beside us, staring up at Jacob with narrowed eyes. "Who invited him?"

"Charlie did." Jacob answered her. "This _is _his daughter's party, right?"

"Yes, but –"

"Jacob?" Edward came up behind us, glaring. "Why are you here?"

"We've just been over that." Jacob rolled his eyes and held up his hands. "Look, I'm not here to fight. I just want to be here for Bella on her birthday."

"Maybe she doesn't want you here?" Edward raised an eye brow. "Ever thought of asking her?"

"No. Have you?"

"Guys, stop it. Jacob, you can stay." Alice sighed and put a hand in between them. "But keep your distance from each other, for God's sake. You don't want to get my parents involved."

Edward and Jacob nodded, and both looked down at me. I knew what they were asking – who was I going to spend the rest of the night with? Jacob or Edward? As much as I liked spending time with Jacob, I wanted to be with Edward more. And I think Jacob knew that.

"When you want to talk, come find me." Jacob nudged past Edward and into the crowd to look for his friends. Alice, Edward and I looked at each other and sighed.

"That boy has issues." Alice grumbled and hooked her arm through mine. "Anyway, let's go dance. C'mon, Edward."

The three of us headed into the busy crowd. Everyone danced around us, waving to me as I walked by. I spotted Carlisle and Esme in the back of the room, speaking to each other. Their eyes were on Edward and I.

Jasper had joined Alice, and they started dancing together. It was all PG rated – no bumping and grinding here. We all laughed as we danced to the booming music. It was all very innocent – thank goodness. I couldn't imagine dancing like a stripper in front of Carlisle and Esme.

Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and swayed us to the music. He chuckled in my ear every time I stumbled over my own feet, or his. I blushed and hid my face in his shirt, where he started stroking my hair and whispering reassurances.

I spotted Jacob over Edward's shoulder. He sat on the couch at the back of the room, talking to who I thought was Lauren. She was clearly trying to make a move on him, but he just kept shaking his head and pointing at me. I frowned and wrapped my arms around Edward's neck.

"Relax, sweetheart." Edward hushed me, rubbing circles on my back. "It's your party. Stop worrying about him."

"I guess you're right." I mumbled against the music. "This party will end soon, anyway, right?"

"Yes. It's getting close to eleven."

And Edward was right. In the next half an hour, the party guests began to clear out. I had a feeling that was because Emmett was slowly edging towards the door and opening it every few minutes. Most people smiled at me before they left, and wished me a happy birthday. Jacob and his friends must have let themselves out, because I didn't see them again.

Soon, the house was empty. Well, except for my friends and I. Carlisle and Esme hugged me one last time and headed upstairs to bed. They said we would clean up in the morning.

"We're going to go upstairs." Emmett said, glancing down at Rosalie. "I hope you've had a good birthday, Bell."

"I have. Thank you." I smiled at all of them. "It's been really great. Night."

They went upstairs, and Jasper and Alice soon followed after.

"Well, looks like we may as well go upstairs too." Edward looked down at me with a soft smile. "We can listen to the CD I made for you."

"Ok." I followed him upstairs, and he closed to door behind me. He walked straight to his CD player and slipped in the CD. A beautiful melody flowed through the room. I knew this was one of his compositions.

"Edward, this is beautiful." I put my hand to my heart and looked at him. "You wrote this?"

He nodded. "I did. I finished it just in time for your birthday."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug. He kissed my cheek and stroked my back, and we stood like that for what could have been hours. The song changed to one of Stevie Wonder's, but we still stood there, holding each other.

"You're so beautiful, Bella." He whispered, against my cheek. "The most stunning thing I have ever seen."

I blushed and tightened my hold on him. "You're not so bad yourself."

He chuckled and took a deep breath. "Shall we get ready for bed?"

I nodded and walked to my backpack (which Alice had placed in Edward's room for me). I pulled out a pair of shorts and a singlet top. "I'll be right out."

I went into the bathroom and changed. I washed my face and brushed my teeth, and then returned to him. He got changed next and was back faster than I was. He pulled me to the bed and I snuggled up next to him, listening to the music still playing on the stereo.

He took a deep breath. "There was something else I wanted to give you. Once again, it didn't cost a dime…"

I frowned slightly and looked up at him. "You did? What is it?"

He leaned over and picked up a small box off his night stand. With slightly shaky fingers, he gave it to me and told me to open it.

I did. There was a small note inside. I pulled it out and ran my eyes over it.

_**A Special World**_

_**A special world for you and me  
A special bond one cannot see  
It wraps us up in its cocoon  
And holds us fiercely in its womb.**_

_**Its fingers spread like fine spun gold  
Gently nestling us to the fold  
Like silken thread it holds us fast  
Bonds like this are meant to last.**_

_**And though at times a thread may break  
A new one forms in its wake  
To bind us closer and keep us strong  
In a special world, where we belong.**_

I looked up at him with teary eyes. "It's beautiful, Edward, I love it. I'll keep it forever."

"There is something I want to tell you. I thought your birthday would be the right time, and now... ?" He shook his head and looked down at me with piercing eyes. "It may be too late. I know you care for Jacob as much as you care for me, and I could have waited too long. It was Rosalie who made me see..."

"Made you see what?" I asked in confusion.

He took a breath and looked deeply into my eyes. I was instantly transfixed.

"Bella, I'm in love with you."

* * *

**A/N: FIREWORKS! BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH! SHOCK HORROR! **

**About time, I say. Well, are you proud of me? (: The wait is over. Pleeease review! **


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: It's that name of the week, guys (: Yep, it's Friday! And I am excited! XD**

**Thanks for all my wonderful reviews. I loved them all so much (: Thanks for sticking with me!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight :'(**

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* * *

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He stared at me, waiting for an answer. My mind scrambled to put a sentence together, but I detected words like "I", "love", "you", and "too." And though I had known I had loved him for a very long time, I couldn't bring myself to say it. What if this was another lie?

"Bella." He took both of my hands and pressed them to his cheeks. His skin felt soft and smooth under mine. "Bella, please say something."

"I…" I shook my head slightly. I met his nervous eyes. "You… love me?"

"I do. So much."

I looked away so my head would stop swimming. I stared at the small wooden box on his night stand, and wondered how long he knew he had loved me. Had it taken him as long as it had taken me? Or longer? Well, it was Rosalie who made him see, so it must have taken some time.

"Please listen to me, love," He spoke softly. "I'm sorry I didn't realise this sooner. I suppose, I was denying it to myself – we have an amazing friendship, so why would I want to ruin it with _more_?" My breath caught as he spoke. He squeezed my hands to reassure my mind. "But, I'm willing to risk it. For you. Because you're the most important thing in the world to me. I have been struggling to come to terms with my feelings for awhile now, and now that I have, I refuse to let them go. Even if you choose Jacob. Even if you move back to Phoenix. I guess what I'm saying is, I will never stop loving you."

His words caused a warming sensation in my chest, which spread into my stomach. I could feel his eyes on my face, which made my blush worse. It used to trouble me how he watched me with such fascination, like I was some sort of science experiment waiting to be tested. Now, it was a comfort only he could provide.

"Please, Bella, you're making me anxious." He ran his thumbs over the heels of my hands, like he always does.

I took a deep breath and faced him. I was instantly dazed. "Um… Edward, I have been waiting for you to say that for a long time. You are the most important person in my life, as well, but you must understand why I'm not willing to accept this straight away. The first time didn't work out, and I'm afraid the second one won't either."

He eyes turned darker and a scowl formed on his lips. "I am ashamed of what I did before. Please, don't take that in account. I will never, _never_treat you like that again. I would rather die than even consider it."

I watched him. It wasn't that I didn't believe him, but… "I know. You've told me that, and Edward, well…" The blush on my cheeks intensified. "I think you already know how I feel about you."

He stared at me blankly with a small smile on his face. "Actually, I don't."

I blanched. "Edward… seriously, I don't mean to be rude, but…" My eyes opened a little wider with disbelief. "Are you _blind_?"

He threw his head back and laughed. It was a beautiful sound. "Maybe I am!"

I rolled my eyes. "Honestly… Emmett guessed. _Emmett._"

"Wait a minute." Edward stopped mid-laugh and stared at me with disbelief. "My best friend know your feelings for me, but I don't?"

"And Jasper. And Alice. And Rosalie."

"_Rosalie_?" He gawked. Then, he must have realised something, because he gasped and looked at me. "Oh. That explains a lot."

I raised an eyebrow. To be honest, I really just wanted to get my feelings out there. It wasn't like me, I know – but I really wanted this chance. Though it seems unreal and too good to be true…

I took a deep breath. "Edward. Whenever I see you, my heart almost jumps out of my chest. When you touch me, my skin gets set on fire. When I _see_ you…" I shook my head at the absurdity of it all. "I'd rather die than look away."

His eyes softened and he pulled me into his lap. I rested my head on his chest and he gently stroked my hair, occasionally leaning down and pressing his lips to my forehead.

The feeling of being in his arms, knowing he loved me, gave me an odd sense of hope – I no longer felt like the world was weighing down on me, threatening to crush any sense of happiness I once had. No, I felt the world _holding_me, in his warm arms, never to let go.

"Happy birthday, Bella." He whispered.

"Hey, it's not my birthday anymore." I glanced at the clock beside his bed. It was 12:35 am.

"I am going to make _everyday_feel like your birthday." He rested his head against mine. "Some say the people around you are supposed to make you feel special on your birthday, but I am going to make you feel special _every day of our lives._"

If this boy doesn't stop saying cute and charming things, I am going to have a heart attack. Sleep seemed impossible now.

He pulled the covers over us and slid our bodies down until we were lying across the bed instead of against the headboard. I wrapped my arm around his chest and closed my eyes, though I knew my heart wouldn't let me sleep. It was too jumpy and excited to rest.

He calmly stroked my hair as my body managed to take a breather. I actually _was_ tired, from the party and from the past few weeks, and having Edward there while I slept seemed like heaven. Not that he hasn't before, but things were different now. Very, very different…

"Goodnight, my sweet Bella." He kissed my temple and moved to wrap his arms around me as I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

We all got straight to work the next day on cleaning up the house. There was food all over the floor, streamers and wrapping paper strewn around the place. I hadn't realised the party had caused so much damage to the Cullen home.

"Sorry about this, Esme, really." I bit my lip and watched Esme as she handed me a giant broom. "I didn't know it was going to be like this."

"It's fine, dear." Esme smiled and gave the rest of my friends a dustpan and a giant trash can. They all frowned and got to work. "I'm glad you had fun."

Edward and I worked close together. The others didn't notice the change in both of our body language's, only because we truly acted like this all the time. The thought made me happy – we claimed to be best friends, when really we were more than that. It just took… well, Rosalie to make us see that.

Rosalie smiled at me as we swept up the popcorn on the floor. I still found it strange, whenever she smiled at me like that. Like we had never once been enemies, like all jealousy between the two of us had vanished. Our relationship will never be perfect, but it would be _something_. And I was grateful for that.

I decided to confront Rosalie while we unwound the streamers and ribbons from the stair case banister. "Rose?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"Edward told me last night that you made him see something…" I blushed and stared down at the wooden banister.

"Oh. I made him see that he loved you?" She said it totally casually and off her shoulder.

"Um… yes…" I looked up at her and ran my fingers through my hair. I couldn't hide the tiny smile of gratitude on my face. "What did you say?"

"Well," She pulled a long piece of ribbon off the banister and wound it around her wrist. "I sat him down and told him to wake up to himself."

I raised an eyebrow. "I don't mean to sound rude, but… _why_?"

She smiled slightly and leaned against the rail in front of me. "I was tired of seeing him toy with you. I saw the reaction you had to him, and I couldn't stand watching while he bottled up his feelings for _you_. It was so frustrating, watching you guys flirt and hug and do whatever when you never even admitted your feelings!"

I stared at her in shock. I couldn't believe Rosalie, the bitter and twisted ex-best friend of Edward was the one who told us to confess how we felt. She has been the one who has created all the issues, and now she was trying her best to patch them up.

"Well… thank you, Rosalie." I smiled in gratitude. "I'm so glad you had the guts to do what I didn't."

"It was my pleasure." She nodded. She looked away for a moment and then met my eyes, which were apologetic and nervous. "I'm so very sorry for all the pain I've caused to the both of you. I do consider you as a friend now, though I have been horrible to you."

"I consider you one too."

She held out her hand. "So… friends? No more fighting?"

I smiled and shook her hand. "Sure. Friends."

"Aw!" Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Edward stood behind us, watching with huge smiles. Rosalie and I turned to look at him and laughed.

"You guys are so cute!" Emmett rushed forward and spun Rosalie in his arms, almost falling down the stairs. "We're like one big happy family!"

We all laughed, and Edward approached me with a sheepish grin. He wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me close to him, and I hung my arms around his neck, smiling like crazy. Rosalie watched us, smirking, and the others watched us like they always did. They had no idea what Rosalie had done for us, but I wanted to let them know. Not now, but soon.

"I think we're almost done." Esme and Carlisle came around the corner and took in the scene. They both smiled at Edward and I, like they knew a very important secret.

"Thank God! I thought I would end up dying while cleaning this house!" Emmett let go of Rosalie and lumbered down the stairs. "It was a rockin' party, though."

"Sure." I agreed, and Edward unwound his arms from my waist and settled for holding my hand. "So, it's Sunday. What are we going to do now that the cleaning is done?"

"And this is where we step out, because things tend to get a little crazy right about now." Esme laughed and pulled Carlisle into the next room. The six of us were left standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Sooo…" Alice asked conversationally. "How did everyone sleep last night?"

We all looked at her like she'd gone mad.

"Um… we didn't sleep much…" Emmett mumbled, nudging Rosalie's side suggestively. Rosalie snuck a smile, while the rest of us tried not to gag.

"That's disgusting." Jasper scrunched up his nose and looked at Edward and I. "I'm guessing the two innocents slept well? Or… at all…"

"I could have slept more." I smiled at Edward.

"Oooh…" Emmett murmured idiotically. "Does that mean –"

"It means we talked, Emmett." Edward rolled his eyes.

"Oh, yep, talked." Emmett winked. "Gotcha."

I slapped my palm against my forehead. "You are so stupid, Emmett. I can't believe you graduated this year." I shook my head.

"Ouch." Emmett pretended to pout.

"_Anyway_," I desperately tried to change the subject before my blush gave me away. "If you'd like, you could all come to my house and we could have a barbecue or something. I know Charlie loves having you guys over."

"That sounds good." Edward smiled widely and squeezed my hand. "Your house is a lot more interesting than mine."

I shrugged. "Not really. Let me just get my coat and my bag and we can go."

I quickly ducked upstairs and grabbed my jacket and my backpack. On my way down, I heard Emmett and Jasper jostling Edward about me, as always. Emmett was trying to see how far Edward had gotten with me, in which he said, "Emmett, we're not even dating." I walked downstairs before Emmett could make another comment.

We all rode in Edward's Volvo, and we were at my house in minutes. Charlie probably would be home in front of the TV, so we would go upstairs to my room. I said a quick hello while the others explained about the party and how fun it was.

I took Edward's hand and ran upstairs with him. I shut my door behind me and almost tripped on the way to my bed, where he had sat.

"Edward, we need to talk." I said quickly, sitting beside him.

He looked at me with curiosity. "Ok. Talk away."

"What are we going to do… about… this?" I motioned to the space in between us with my hand. "What do we tell them?"

He thought for a second. "Do you want to tell them at all?"

"Eventually, I guess. But I think we should… go on a date… first." I bit my lip and looked down as my cheeks colored red.

"Of course, Bella. Anything you wish." He touched my hand. Knowing that he loved me had changed the meanings of these simple gestures – they seemed more intimate now. "When should we go?"

"Maybe we could go after school sometime. Go have dinner somewhere." I mumbled.

"That sounds wonderful, sweetheart." I could hear the smile in his voice, even when I wasn't looking at him. "Say… Tuesday? We don't have to tell anyone, if you don't want to."

"Ok. Thanks." I lifted my head and smiled a little. We were smiling at each other when the others burst into the room.

"Oh, well, don't let us interrupt –" Alice began saying, pushing the others out the door.

"Alice, you weren't interrupting anything. Get back here." I laughed as they all piled into my tiny bedroom. Alice sat on my desk next to where Jasper leaned, and Emmett and Rosalie sat together on my rocking chair.

"When are you going to use those plane tickets to see your mom, Bella?" Edward asked me suddenly.

I shrugged. "I'm not sure. Wait –" What did he mean plane ticket-_s_? "There is more than one ticket?"

"Yes. There are two." Edward answered with a nod. "Maybe you could skip Friday and stay for the weekend."

"Yeah, that sounds good." I narrowed my eyes slightly, wondering why he was so pushy for me to do this. The others watched with the same suspicious looks.

"Maybe you should ask Charlie tonight."

"Um... yeah, I might..." My next issue: Who will I take? There are two tickets, anyway. "But then I'll have to decide who to take."

"Well, that's easy." Alice swung her legs back and forth from my desk. She grinned at Edward and I. "You'll be taking your best friend!"

I chuckled. "I'd be happy to take you, Alice."

"Just ask Charlie." Edward interjected quickly. "He may want to go, anyway."

"Yeesh, someone has sand down his pants." Emmett chuckled, and then burst out laughing. Rosalie slapped him on the back of the head while I continued to stare at Edward in confusion.

"Hey Bells!" Charlie called from the bottom of the stairs. "I'm going to start the barbecue. Do you want to give me a hand?"

"Sure." I got up and headed for the door. I looked back at my friends. "You guys can do whatever you want up here. Just, please... don't ransack or destroy my room." I winked at Edward before I darted down the stairs.

I took the meat out of the fridge and headed for our backyard, where the barbecue was situated. Charlie followed me carrying all the necessary equipment. He started the barbecue while I seasoned the meat.

I remembered that I had to ask Charlie about the Phoenix trip. "Hey Dad, you know how Carlisle and Esme gave me those tickets to go see Mom?"

"Yeah." He looked up at me. "What about 'em?"

"I was wondering when I should use them before they expire. I was thinking –" Or, _Edward_ was thinking... "Around about Christmas time. What do you think?"

"Sure, that sounds great." He smiled and nodded at me. I threw the first piece of meat on the barbecue, which sizzled loudly.

"There are, uh, actually two tickets." I mumbled under my breath.

"What was that?"

"Esme and Carlisle gave me two tickets to Phoenix." I spoke a little louder over the sizzling. I chucked on another few sausages as he thought. The light rain sprinkled around us, but didn't affect the barbecue.

"Oh, well... who do you think you'll take?" Charlie asked gruffly, after a few minutes.

"I'm not sure. Would you want to go? You know, see Mom, and visit Phoenix?" I smiled slightly and nudged him, trying to make a joke. "Get out of Forks?"

"I'm not sure, Bells. Christmas is always a busy period." He grunted.

"C'mon, Dad, don't you get like, a week off?" I asked. But then something occurred to me... why would he want to see his ex-wife? And Phil would probably be there. That would be awkward for him. "You know what, you're probably busy. I'll take someone else."

He nodded. "Sure. Thanks for asking me, though..."

I threw a piece of steak on the barbecue and moved an already cooked piece onto a plate.

"Who do you think you'll take, then?" He asked after a few more minutes.

"I'm not sure. Maybe Alice."

"No boys."

I looked at him and raised my eye brows. That was secret Dad-talk for _No Edward_.

I had a moment of realization.

There was a reason Edward was being so pushy about this trip – wanting me to take it as soon as possible. When Alice offered to join me, he became all snippy. It was because _he _wanted to go with me. Of course.

What could be better than that?

"Dad, I'm eighteen." I looked at Charlie. "I think you can trust me enough to go to Phoenix with a boy."

"_Edward _isn't exactly high on my list." I blushed as he spoke. "You know that darn well."

"Charlie," I was whining. I knew it, but when did I ever? "Please. Edward and I are just friends. And plus, Mom will be there. It's not like we're going on our own."

"Yeah, I know, but that doesn't mean... stuff can't happen." Charlie mumbled, piling the sausages and steaks onto the ceramic plate I held for him. He started to sit corn and other vegetables on the grill.

I rolled my eyes. "Dad, stuff isn't going to happen. Mom would let me bring him. She's been wanting to meet him for awhile now."

"She's met him."

"Yeah, when he was seven."

He grunted and shook his head. "Speak to your Mother about it between now and then. Then I'll consider letting you take Edward."

"Thanks Dad." I smiled at him and squeezed his arm.

"I said _consider_." He warned.

I knew it was going to be a yes. Renee would agree, and then Charlie would. I couldn't wait to tell Edward we were going to Phoenix!

Charlie and I finished up with the barbecue and the others had set the table. They stood around the kitchen, talking, but looking like models posing for a photo shoot – Charlie and I wrecked the scene when we walked in. I was extremely disappointed.

"Lunch is on." I smiled at them and sat the huge plate of food onto the table. They all sat at Charlie's small table at the speed of light and dug in like the hungry teenagers they were.

I grinned at Edward as we ate. He reached under the table and squeezed my knee, to which I responded with a loud yelp. The others stopped their conversations to stare at us with confusion.

"Oh," Edward started patting my back slowly. "She just choked on a piece of corn."

They all stared at him with raised eye brows. Charlie just laughed and continued eating; the others weren't so easy to distract. Alice and Emmett watched us especially closely throughout with small smiles on their faces.

"So. Did Bella talk to you about my parent's plane tickets, Charlie?" Edward asked conversationally at a small moment of silence.

I stared up at him. _No, no, no..._

"Yes, actually, she did." Charlie's face was already beginning to turn red. "Why?"

I was trying to shoot him warning looks with my eyes. He clearly wasn't getting it, because he continued: "I'm just wondering. Because my parents _did_ give her two tickets for a reason, you know."

Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice all choked on their food.

"Yes, well, she's already decided who she's taking, haven't you Bella?" Charlie looked at me, his face changing from red to purple. Me suggesting Edward come with me was one thing, but Edward hinting it had just crossed the line.

"Uh... well, sort of..." I choked.

Edward looked down at me pleasantly. "Oh, well, who are you taking Bella?"

I switched my eyes from Edward to Charlie. Edward to Charlie. Eventually, Edward's beautiful green eyes caught my gaze and I couldn't look away. "I'm taking you."

Silence.

"You will not be, young lady!" Charlie's red face intensified until he was almost as bright as a tomato. We all jumped when he chair scraped against the linoleum. "You won't be going anywhere with him."

"I'm an adult, Charlie, I can do what I want."

"I don't care! You live under _my_ roof, under _my _rules!"

"Fine. I'll move out."

The rest of my friends watched on silently with wide eyes. My last comment seemed to have pushed Charlie off the edge – he clenched his fists together and glared at Edward.

"Ok. You can go with her as long as she doesn't move out." Both he and I knew the only place I could move was either back in with Mom, or with the Cullens. And we both knew who I would pick over the two. "Just check with Renee first."

"Thank you." I nodded.

"Thank you, Chief Swan. I promise to take good care of her." Edward looked at Charlie gratefully.

Charlie continued to glare and muttered something under his breath that none of us caught. When I looked over at the rest of the group, Emmett was grinning, Jasper was chuckling to himself, Alice was smiling at me, and Rosalie was covering her mouth with her hand, trying not to laugh. This meal had suddenly become very awkward within a few minutes.

Thank God, it ended in the next few moments. Charlie got up and insisted he do the washing up; I didn't object. He was pretty upset with me, and I didn't want to make him any angrier.

"Let's just go up to my room." I mouthed to my friends. They nodded and followed me upstairs. As soon as I closed my bedroom door behind me, we all burst into laughter.

"Did you see his face!" Emmett laughed.

"Poor Charlie looked like he was going to have a heart attack..." Alice giggled into Jasper's side.

I was trying not to laugh myself. "Hey, guys, don't laugh. It's mean."

"Not when it was _you_ who made him so mad! Yeesh, Bella has a bit of a temper on her!" Jasper slapped his knee as he laughed.

"At least I get to go with you now." Edward grinned at me, which reminded me he had created this whole mess in the first place.

I slapped him.

"Ow! What did I do?"

"I had already spoken to him about taking you with me! He was going to let me without any screaming!" I huffed.

"You... did?" Edward asked dumbly.

"Yes!"

"Oh..." A small smile spread onto Edward's lips. "Well, I didn't think you'd want to take me in the first place."

My voice softened as I spoke. "Of course I'd want to take you."

Edward smiled and touched my cheek. For a few seconds, we had forgotten our small audience around us – though I could see them and hear them. Edward peered into my eyes, while I looked into his soul; I could see all the love, all the affection and awe behind his pretty green eyes. It was then that I knew this time wasn't a lie... it was nothing but the truth.

"What the hell?" Alice's hand appeared in between our faces as she waved it around. "Earth to love birds? I think we've lost you!"

I shook my head and looked up at her. "Well, you've got us back now..."

"Yes, I do." Alice's eyes shone brightly as she smiled meaningfully at me. I knew that look; it was _we-need-to-talk_. And oh, did I want to talk. "Tonight" she mouthed. I nodded.

Around four-thirty, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Edward and Alice headed home. Edward kissed my forehead and told me he'd probably be back later, which I took comfort in. Charlie was the only thing darkening my mood that night.

He grunted and grumbled around the house, sulking. I heard him muttering to himself like a mad man while he lumbered back and forth between the kitchen, drinking beer and eating packets of chips. He was like a teenage girl going through a break up, really – he lived on the unhealthy food and alcohol when he was unhappy with something. It was sort of funny to watch.

I made a late dinner for us around seven of grilled cheese sandwiches. We ate in silence, Charlie still sulking. I told him I was going to bed, knowing a call from Alice was only a few minutes away. He grunted at me as I sprinted up the stairs to catch my already ringing phone.

"Hello?"

"Hiiii, you little minx!" Alice squealed into the phone.

"Huh?" I asked in confusion.

"Oh, c'mon, Bells! _Inviting Edward to Phoenix_? You're a genius!"

"I... am?" I felt the smile spread across my face as I spoke. My excitement about the trip was only just coming to the surface... and I was pumped.

"Yes! Oh my God, I wish I could be there." Alice sighed.

"I'm sorry, Al, I was going to bring you, but well... ?" A wave of guilt rolled over me.

"Aw, don't worry about it! I actually meant I wanted to be there with you _and _Edward. Watching you two flirt is the cutest thing ever!"

I started to blush. "Uh, yeah, we're sorta –"

She gasped. "You're _WHAT_?"

"Hey, don't get too excited. I was just going to say, we're... uh... going to dinner at Port Angeles on Tuesday night."

"Ohhhh..." I could practically hear her smile behind the phone. Damn pixie. "It's _that _kind of dinner."

"Sort of, but it's not a big deal." _It's a huge deal. For me._ "Don't make it bigger than Ben Hur, please, Alice? I don't want everyone to know. And don't you dare mention that I told you to Edward!"

"I won't, I won't... gosh." Alice sounded like she was rolling her eyes. "But I can still help you get ready, right?"

"Uh... if you want..." What was I getting myself into? "But again, nothing too extreme, please. It's just going to be a quiet dinner with just the two of us, alright?"

"Oh Bella, you're so sweet." Alice laughed. "Seriously, I love you. You're truly perfect for my big brother."

I smiled widely. "Thanks, Al. That means a lot."

"My best friend as my sister-in law... wow! That would be awesome."

We laughed together. I felt like I was on cloud 9 – I felt so light and happy. I knew it was all because of Edward, who was making me feel loved already. The Cullens (plus Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper) made me feel like we were one huge family. I had never experienced a happy family, and I loved it.

"Well, we'd better start planning what you will take to Phoenix." Alice sighed happily. "I'll probably be over later this week."

"Alice, its mid October. We've got time."

"Yes, but... Arizona is _hot_. We need to stock up your summer wardrobe! And..."

And so, Alice spent the next half an hour explaining to me about why she needed to start packing my bag. We were only going for a few days, and yet she planned to pack twice as much as I needed. I _insisted _I could choose my own clothes but she refused. "Not when I was with Edward," She had said. How ridiculous.

I saw Edward appear on the tree outside, and I immediately took a deep breath and turned away from him. "Alice, I've got to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Ok! Oh, if it's Edward, remember to be safe!"

My eyes widened and I forcefully hung up the phone. I chucked it onto my bed and spun around to face Edward. "Hey."

"Hello, Bella." Edward smiled crookedly and slid easily into my bedroom, shutting the window behind him. "How are you?"

"Not too bad." I watched as he shook the water droplets out of his perfectly sculpted hair. "You?"

"Alice has been babbling on the phone to _you_ for the past forty minutes." He grinned and rolled his eyes, walking forward to entwine our fingers.

"Yeah. She's talking about wardrobes, and Phoenix..." I laughed softly and looked into his eyes. "Speaking of Phoenix, I still haven't forgiven you for that yet."

"I'm sorry." He smiled crookedly and squeezed our hands. "Really, I am. I didn't think you'd want to go with me at all."

"Well, I do." I blushed and looked down. "In case you've forgotten, I hate not having you around."

"Mmm..." Edward leaned forward, until our noses touched. I inhaled his sweet scent like some sort of drug addict, and it looked like he was doing the same. "You smell... delicious."

"Um... thanks?"

He chuckled and kissed for forehead. "Should we get ready for bed?"

Whenever he said that, my heart jumped into my throat and I could barely form a sentence. The way he looked at me with glazed eyes and a sneaky smile made me want to kiss right here and now.

But I didn't. "O-ok..." I broke away from him, grabbed my toiletries and pyjamas, and then headed into the bathroom. I kept my hand against my chest, trying to calm my heart. Not that it worked.

"Are you alright in there, Bella?" Edward whispered and lightly tapped on the bathroom door, careful of Charlie. He would probably never hear it over the blaring ESPN sport channel.

"I'm fine." I quickly tossed on my pyjamas and opened the door.

We tip-toed back into the room and closed the door softly. We smiled at each other for a few moments before I finally pulled my eyes away from him.

"I'm tired." I yawned and took his hand. He towed me over to the bed and pulled me down next to him, wrapping his arms around me and burying his face into my hair.

"You know, I don't think I could handle spending my nights alone anymore." Edward chuckled quietly.

"Me either." I mumbled sleepily.

"I can't wait for Phoenix." He whispered sweetly into my ear. "Or Tuesday, for that matter."

"Mmm..." I mumbled, smiling. "It's going to be great, I can see it. My Mom will be excited to see you."

"I haven't seen Renee is so long. What if she disapproves of me?"

"She won't." I lightly tapped his chest. "She'll love you. She talks about you in her emails all the time."

"Oh?" He chuckled and began stroking my hair. "And what do you two say about me in your emails?"

My face flushed red. Thank God it was dark. "Nothing at all. Just that you're my best friend and I'm really happy to have you around. She teases me, just like Emmett and Jasper tease you."

"Oh jeez..." He shook his head. "And I thought I was the only one."

I laughed. "You're not, trust me."

"Well... imagine what it will be like if we were... _together._" Edward's voice turned breathy and intense at the same time. It sent shivers up my spine. "We would be enduring all sorts of crude jokes."

"Y-yes..."

"And you know what's weird about it?" He asked.

"What?"

"I would take it just to be with you."

* * *

**Awwz (:**

**Hey, someone suggested to me awhile ago I should probably get a beta. Now, I'm not that experienced with the whole beta thing, so I was wondering if you guys could help me out?**

**Oh, and...**

**Hoped you liked it! Please review! **


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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Monday passed slowly, and soon it was time for Edward and I's official date. The others (Except for Alice) still didn't know it was a real date, and I was a little embarrassed to tell them. Edward insisted he would let them tease me, but I was still wary.

Alice came over to my house an hour early so she could pick out my outfit. She brought a few additions with her, like hair clips and make up. The nicest piece of clothing I had was my leather jacket, so I intended to wear that. She picked a black blouse and a pair of jeans out of my closet, along with a pair of white sneakers she had bought me just last week. **(A/N: The link for this STYLISH outfit is on my profile (: check it out!) **This was probably the nicest outfit she could put together out of my small range of clothing – and it was only casual. Good thing Edward 'liked' me in casual.

"You look beautiful." Alice smiled and combed her fingers through my hair. She pinned a few strands behind my ears and on top of my head, and then lightly tapped my cheek. "All done. Go get him, tiger."

She smacked my butt and sent me on my way. I headed down stairs to where Edward was waiting, his arms held out wide.

See, if this was a first time date, we would barely touch each other. But because we had known each other forever, (And we had passed first time basis awhile ago), he pulled me into his arms and kissed my hair.

"You look gorgeous, as usual." He smiled crookedly and wrapped an arm around my waist. Alice skipped downstairs and grinned at us both. "You really are a genius, dear sister."

"I know." Alice laughed and walked past us. She grabbed her bag off the table and opened the front door. "Edward, I'll see you when you get home. Bella, I'll talk to _you _when you get home." And with that, she winked and disappeared out the door.

I heard loud footsteps approaching, and quickly separated myself from Edward. Charlie came to the door and glared at both of us, still not over the whole Phoenix thing.

"Bring her home by ten. No later." He grumbled at Edward.

"Of course, Charlie." Edward nodded and opened the door for me. "Let's go, Bella."

"I'll catch up with you." I smiled slightly. He nodded and walked out the door towards the Volvo. I immediately turned to Charlie. "Could you be a little nicer, please?"

"He's the boy going to Phoenix with my baby girl." He crossed his arms over his chest and looked me up and down. I think he wanted to tell me to go upstairs and change, or something along those lines, (just so he could be all fatherly), but my clothes weren't quite skimpy enough.

"So what. He's my friend. Please, just try to be kinder to him. For me? He's… important." I looked up at my father will pleading eyes.

He muttered something under his breath before speaking. "Fine. I'll try. But no promises, alright? Just because your mother approves of him, doesn't mean I do."

I had called Renee yesterday, telling her our plans for December. She was delighted to have us, saying she's not busy at all. (Which I found hard to believe, seeing as she _always _has a hobby). And when I told her Edward was going to be joining me, well… She was a little more than ecstatic. She was _beyond _enthused. That made Charlie very, very angry.

"I'll see you later." I smiled slightly and turned for the door.

"You look nice, Bells." Charlie muttered awkwardly as I wrenched the door open. I mumbled a "thanks" and closed the door behind me, pulling my hood up as I walked towards Edward's car.

"Everything ok?" Edward asked as I climbed inside. He immediately started the car and pulled out of the driveway toward Port Angeles.

"Fine." I looked at him. "So, where to? Bella Italia, as usual?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "Oh no, sweetheart. We're heading to the one and only _Carver's Diner_."

"Wait… the one on the _border _of Forks and Port Angeles?" I raised my eye brows and disbelief. As the idea circulated in my head, I was actually a lot happier to go there than some fancy Italian restaurant.

"Is that alright?"

"Perfect." I grinned and rested my hand on his on the middle console.

We arrived at the _Carver's Diner_ within fifteen minutes, and pulled into the empty car park. It was a school night, after all. Who would come to a diner like this _on a school night_? Only two teenagers with crazy parents, that's who.

Edward held the door open as we walked in, catching wistful glances from the other women around us. We made our own way to a seat beside the window and smiled at each other as we sat down.

"Bella Swan!"

I turned around to see a middle aged women with curly hair and big lips walking towards our table. I didn't recognize this women, but she sure recognized me.

"Uh, hi." I mumbled as she stopped in front of us with a notepad in her hands.

"Wow. You're so grown up! And _so _gorgeous." She grinned and nodded at me, causing her curls to bob around her shoulders. She had a name tag that read 'Lacriesha'. I had never heard that name before, had I?

"She sure is." Edward smiled and squeezed my hand from across the table.

"Well, Edward." Lacriesha raised an eye brow at the handsome boy sitting across the table, and then looked back at me. "Looks like you've been busy with the Chief's daughter."

They laughed together while I sat there awkwardly, playing with the corner of the table cloth.

"What can I get for ya?" Lacriesha asked after moments of laughing.

"Two cokes for now, please." Edward answered her with a smile. She nodded and turned away to retrieve our drinks.

"_Lacriesha_?" I whispered, leaning across the table.

Edward chuckled and leaned to meet me. "Yes. She has known us since we were toddlers. Apparently, our Father's brought us here all the time."

"And she remembers me?" I asked skeptically.

"I talked about you for awhile." Edward shrugged, smiling. "And so does Charlie, obviously. She's been waiting for you to come here for awhile."

"Right." I nodded and leaned back in my chair. When I looked around the small diner, I saw a Moose head, a wooden statue of a bear, and a few of what looked like hikers. It was extremely comforting, being in a place with some many familiarities. With the rain beating down on the windows and the wooden floorboards slippery and wet, it really felt like home.

Lacriesha soon brought over our drinks and took our orders. I ordered the Garden Burger, and Edward decided on the steak and salad. Lacriesha guaranteed she'd bring us a berry cobbler to share at the end – on the house, of course.

When our meals came, Edward smiled and looked around. "This is nice." He dug his fork into his hefty steak. "I like it better than Bella Italia, personally."

"I do too." I agreed with a small smile.

"Our place." Edward grinned and shrugged. "Well, our second place."

Our meadow. How I would love to go back there… "We should go hiking soon. You know, just the two of us."

"That's a good idea." Edward nodded and handed me a fry. "Maybe when we don't have so much homework, huh?"

I laughed and nibbled on my chip. It looked like the rest of this week was going to be filled with homework – which meant, study sessions with Edward. Hopefully.

"Alice is going to want a full report on this dinner when I get home." I sighed between bites of my burger. "What should I tell her?"

"Tell her we talked. We ate. We went home." He smiled impishly and shrugged. "Simple."

"Like she's going to believe that." I rolled my eyes.

"Are you saying we're doing more, Miss Swan?" He raised a perfect eye-brow, causing me to burst out laughing. I covered my mouth with my hand.

"No, it's just… she knows whenever we're together we don't just _talk _and _eat_ and _drive home_. Do you know what I mean?" I was still giggling to myself as I spoke.

"I do." He laughed with me and pushed his plate to the side. I pushed my plate to my side and leaned forward, following his lead. We were sitting hunched over the table, we didn't care. I just needed to be closer.

"So. This has been a charming first date." I smiled as the blush spread across my cheeks. "I've had a great time. Thank you."

"So far." He pointed out. "I could mess it up, right when it's getting good."

"Getting good?" I raised my eye-brows, pretending to be hurt. "Are… are you saying… it's _not _good right now?"

"Of course not, love." He took my hands in his and squeezed lightly. "Every moment with you is more than good, you must know that."

"I don't think I do."

He chuckled and leaned closer, touching our foreheads. "Ok. Let me paint you a picture similar to the one you painted me." I waited. "Whenever I see you, I want to gather you in my arms and never let go. When you touch me, I get goose bumps. When I… hear your voice… I feel like the angels are sighing in the heavens, calling down to me." I stared at him with surprise. "Do you understand now, Bella?"

I nodded, my heart thumping. "I-I think I do…"

"Good." Just then, Edward pulled away from me. Lacreisha sat our cobbler down in between us and grinned as she walked away. I stared after this crazy women with surprise and slight admiration.

"Well, dig in." Edward smiled and motioned to one of the spoons. He picked up his own and waited for me to take the first bite. When I did, he ate after me.

"We used to share this once a week as children." Edward grinned impishly between mouthfuls. "We used to smear it all over each other's faces. I think that's how Lacreisha remembered to bring it to us. She used to be the one to help clean the mess."

I snickered and took another bite. Just then, Edward touched his spoon to the edge of my lip, plastering cobbler on the corner of my mouth. "Hey! What was that for?"

"Old times." He answered simply.

I shook my head and collected a spoonful. I lifted the spoon to the centre of his cheek and ran it down to his jaw bone. "Ha. Take that, Edward."

"That was not nice." He frowned playfully at me, picking up his napkin. "Oh, I think I missed a spot…" He picked up his spoon and stuck it to the end of my nose. He busted out laughing and wiped his cheek, causing the few people in the diner with us to look over.

Lacriesha came over and collected our nearly-empty bowl of cobbler. She laughed at our sticky faces, in which I was trying my best to scrub clean. I was pretty unsuccessful. "I should have knew you two would go all messy on me, just like you used to. But now, I'll let you two clean each other up!"

Edward and I stared at each other wide eyed. Did she _really _just say that?

"Ready to go?" Edward asked quickly.

"Yep." We both stood up and waved at Lacriesha on our way out. She grinned and waved back, yelling, 'come back soon!'.

We drove back to my house in silence. Edward held my hand against my leg, running his thumb in circles slowly. I rested my head back on the seat, letting a yawn escape.

"I don't have to come into your room tonight. You seem pretty tired, and I've been keeping you up." He sighed.

"No, come." My hand tightened inside his, which he noticed. He squeezed back. "I want you there. Please. You help me sleep."

He sighed. "Alright… but I think my parents are starting to catch on. Alice hasn't mentioned it, but the fact that I come downstairs looking so wet in the morning worries them."

"Wet?"

"I run back from your house, sometimes. So they don't hear the Volvo."

"Edward! That's crazy. You can't keep that up." Now that I looked at him, he did look awfully tired. Going to bed late and then getting up so early to sneak back to his house couldn't be easy on him. What kind of selfish monster have I been? "That's it. No more sleepovers. It's painful to see you so tired."

"Bella." He groaned and pulled into a car space outside my house. He cut the engine and turned to me, his eyes pleading. "Don't kick me out of your room, please. I can't sleep without you anymore. I'm _begging _here."

"I'm not… kicking you out, exactly." I bit my lip. He looked so cute when he begged. "I'm just… advising you to spend a few nights away. Just so you can catch up on your sleep."

"But I'll miss you." He huffed.

"I'll miss you too, you know I will." I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "But it's just a little time apart. Hell, we're not even really apart! We see each other for seven hours every day, plus out of school."

"But Bella I _can't_."

"Yes you can." I pinched his cheeks and opened the car door. "Don't be a baby, _sweetheart." _I mocked his name for me as I slammed the door closed.

I walked through the rain to my porch and unlocked the door. Charlie was lying on the couch, snoring loudly over the football game. I tip-toed upstairs and had a shower, being careful not to make too much noise. I didn't want Charlie to ask any uncomfortable questions when I was so tired.

I crawled into bed and pulled the covers up to my chin. I felt unusually cold, probably because I was so used to having a warm body wrapped around me. I also felt somewhat lonely – how had I ever survived, sleeping on my own? It was torture.

But somehow, I managed to fall asleep, dreaming of Edward with cobbler all over his face.

* * *

In the morning, as my alarm buzzed on my nightstand, I felt strange. Warm and fuzzy. I couldn't remember having two sets of arms, so I wasn't sure why –

"Ah!" I screamed on the top of my lungs and struggled against the mysterious arms around me. I was prepared for an armed attacker, but my 'attacker' happened to be an eighteen year old boy with bronze hair.

"What are you doing here?" I gasped, sitting up on my knees in the middle of my bed. He had scrambled away from me the moment I screamed.

"I just… I couldn't stay away. I'm sorry." He held up his hands. "It's ok, I'm not going to hurt you."

"I know." I scoffed and put my hand to my forehead. "It was pretty lonely around here, too."

He smiled slightly and closed the distance between us. Before I could predict his next move, he had his hand buried in my hair, and the other arm wrapped around my waist. I was waiting for the moment when his lips pressed against mine, but it never came – instead, he rested his forehead against mine and lightly kissed my nose.

"Slowly, Bella." He breathed.

Did he hear how ragged my breathing had gotten at having him so close? He must have, because he was smiling and stroking my right hip with his thumb. I felt my knees about to collapse from under me, bringing me undone.

"We're going to be late for school if we don't hurry." He whispered, sliding his hand back over my hip as he pulled away. I stared at him, a little in horror, a little in awe; was I the only one having an abnormal reaction to what had just happened?

Obviously not, because he picked up his already packed bag, waited while I changed, and then walked downstairs with me. I grabbed a granola bar and thanked my lucky stars Charlie wasn't home.

We made it to school in the nick of time. The bell had just chimed when I stumbled into first period English. I slid into my seat next to Mike, who was grinning at me.

"Hey, Mike." I quickly unpacked my bag.

"Hi Bella." He continued to grin. "Great party on the weekend."

"Yeah, it was great." I nodded and began copying the notes off the whiteboard while the teacher talked.

"We didn't get to dance."

Trust Mike to make the situation go from light to awkward. Ugh. "Uh, yeah, sorry about that Mike. Maybe next time."

"Hopefully."

Great. Now I'd gotten his hopes up…

"So… what's up with you and Cullen?" Mike asked after a few minutes of taking more notes. I looked up at him, my face already flushing little red. "He was practically hanging off you the whole night. And then I _know _you just turned up together." He scrunched up his nose and cleared his throat before he spoke again. "Are you, like… _sleeping _with him or something?"

"What? No!" My eyes went wide. I started shaking my head, my hand shaking on my notepad. "Look, Mike, even if I was, I don't think it's any of your business."

He huffed and looked forward. The rest of the class passed with more awkwardness than I had hoped ever to be possible, sitting next to Mike. He still walked me to my next class, which was History with Alice.

Alice was sitting up on her chair, waiting for me with a huge smile. "Heeeello Mrs. Edward Cullen."

"Shut up, Alice." I smiled and blushed as I sat in my seat beside her. "It was just a date. Get over it."

"Did anything… go on while he was over?" She raised an eye brow suggestively.

I slapped my hand into my forehead. "Why is everyone jumping to that conclusion? Do I _look _like a slut, or something?"

She giggled. "No. It's just, well, him spending every night in your room can lead to things. I'd know. I can't even count the times when Jasper has snuck in, and –"

"Ok, you can stop now."

She grinned and scribbled down a few lines of notes. I did the same, and then she turned to me again. "Has he asked you to be his girlfriend?"

"Uh, no." I flushed red and avoided her eyes. This was Edward's _sister _I was spilling to. But she was also my best friend. "It's one date, Alice. That's it."

"Yes, but…" She shrugged. "He really likes you. It doesn't take a genius to realize."

_If only she knew…_ I thought to myself. Had no one caught on that Edward had _finally _succumbed to his feelings? Or was he hiding it so well no one has noticed?

"I'm not sure, Alice. Just because he asked me out doesn't mean he's head-over-heels or something." I bit my lip and stared down at my notepad, hoping she couldn't see through my lie.

"Oh please, Bell. I'm not blind."

I laughed and tried to listen to the teacher, while keeping Edward off my mind. It was not easy.

When I walked out of my third hour chemistry class, Edward was leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets. He must have been a model in another life – who can look _that _gorgeous while just leaning against a wall? And I wasn't the only one to notice. More than one girl stared as she walked past.

"Hello, Bella." He smiled crookedly and opened his arms for me. I hugged him tightly, and then we started down the hall, hand-in-hand. This was a common gesture for both us; but now that I knew of his feelings and he knew of mine, sparks flew between our hands and sent tingles up my arm.

"How was chemistry?" He went on to say, ignoring the envious stares around us.

I shrugged. "You know. Boring."

He chuckled and squeezed my hand as we walked into the cafeteria. Alice waited for us at our usual table, which looked unusually empty without Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper. The rest of the student body was a little more open to us now that our older (And more intimidating) friends had left, though they had not taken to sitting with us yet.

Edward bought me lunch (Against my will) and we sat down across from Alice. She grinned at us as her eyes switched from Edward to me. Could she be anymore obvious?

"So, Alice." Edward tried to make conversation. "I think you should tell Jasper to be a little more subtle when he sneaks in through your window. I had to tell Mom and Dad it was only a raccoon."

I laughed against my hand.

Alice blushed. "Uh, ok. You won't ever tell them, will you? If you do, I'll say you go into Bella's bedroom and have crazy sex every night."

I blushed and looked down at my salad. Did she _really _feel the need to say that? In front of me?

"Alice." Edward chastised and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "Lay off."

"Alright, alright!" Alice giggled and bit into her apple. "But you're warned. I will be prepared to alert the parents."

"I know." Edward sighed.

"Edward, remember we decided to take a break from staying in my room every night?" I raised an eye brow at him.

"Ooh, trouble in paradise." Alice gasped.

"I thought you were kidding." Edward frowned, ignoring his sister. "I think after last night, we should know that being away from each other at night is not possible."

"What happened last night?" Alice dropped her apple and stared wide eyed at the both of us.

"Nothing like what you're thinking." Edward glared at her and rolled his eyes. "I promised I wouldn't come into Bella's room that night, but by eleven, I couldn't take it. So I snuck into her room. And then in the morning, she almost had a heart attack."

Alice burst out laughing. "Emmett is going to _love_ hearing that!"

I sighed and shook my head. "Alice, I trust you with a lot of things, and sometimes I regret it."

Alice pouted. "Fine. I won't tell him… but… I have to tell Jasper. I'm sorry, I just have to. It'll be funny!"

Edward shook his head. "I swear to God, Alice, you live to torture Bella and I…"

"Of course." Alice grinned and shrugged. "When Jasper and I first started dating, you wouldn't leave us alone either. Remember?"

I realized I had never found out how Alice and Jasper came to be. I knew vaguely about Rosalie and Emmett. But never about my best friend's relationship.

"Tell me how you two got together." I folded a piece of lettuce into my mouth. "I'm curious."

"Well…" Alice began, "It started in sophomore year, when a new boy named Jasper Whitlock started school here. He was in Emmett's Spanish class, and Emmett told us he was cool. So, he sat with us on his first day."

"He was this strange, shy kid from Dallas, Texas." Edward interjected with a smile. "Alice was the only one he really reached out to. Well, there was Emmett, but…" He winked at me. "It was _Emmett._ He's too busy with Rosalie half the time to acknowledge anyone else."

"So, we pretty much just… got closer." Alice shrugged, smiling happily. "And one thing led to another… then here we are." Alice's smile turned into a frown. "I miss him."

"We're seeing him in two hours, Alice." Edward snickered.

"That's a very nice story." I smiled, trying to cheer her up. "I can't imagine Jasper being _shy _anymore."

"He's only loud and obnoxious when he's around Emmett. When he's not with him, he's different. More quiet." Alice's smile returned. "Emmett changes people."

"He sure does. Before I came here, I didn't curse. Look at me now!" I laughed, shaking my head. "And don't even get me started on my now dirty mind. I can crack just as many crude jokes as Emmett can."

"Dirty mind?" Edward raised an eye-brow.

Alice nodded. "Yep. You don't see as much as I do, my dear brother."

Edward looked at me curiously. "Well, I'm going to have to ask you about that later. Now I'm just curious. You look so cute and innocent, Bella, when really…" He grinned. "You're just like Emmett. Figures."

"More or less." I shrugged and smiled at him. "But you know, whatever you ask me I'll lie. I don't want you guessing the inner workings on my mind."

"I disagree. I don't think you _can _lie to me." His face hovered close to mine, until I could see into his crystalline green eyes. "Try."

"I'm _not _getting lost in your eyes." I mumbled, without my mind permitting me.

"Your blush gives you away, you silly girl." Edward lightly touched my cheek and leaned back. He grinned at Alice. "I've got full rein."

"If you take advantage of her, I'll cut you."

My head snapped up to look at Alice. "Do me a favor, and _don't _cut him. Please."

"Then he won't take advantage of you." She smiled pleasantly at Edward, like her last comment was forgotten. "Right, Eddie?"

Edward nodded, wide eyed. "Right, Alice."

The bell rang loudly around us, and everyone stood up. Alice was giggling to herself as she skipped off to her next class, leaving us behind. Edward still looked afraid of his little sister.

"You've got to watch her." I shook my head, smiling. We made out towards our Biology class. "She's evil."

"Oh, I know."

We sat down and listened to the teacher give instructions. Again, somehow the word had travelled about our date last night, and now everyone stared at us with fascination and jealousy. I could never understand the interest they had in our small friendship group – how were we different from the others?

_Well, _My mind argued. _Your friends are all abnormally beautiful and rich_. That's_ how they're different to everyone in this tiny town. _

Edward's voice beckoned me out of my reverie. "Bella? I said you can go first."

I looked down at the microscope and the small samples of Onion root cells. Edward had moved the microscope towards me, urging me to look into the eye piece and name the sample Prophase, Prometaphase, Metaphase, Anaphase, or Telophase. Phases of Mitosis.

I looked at him and then into the microscope eye piece. "Prophase."

"Mind if I check?"

"Go ahead."

He looked and then wrote _**Prophase**_ on our assigned piece of paper. "Nice. Have you done this before?"

"Yes. Awhile ago, actually." I shrugged. "In Phoenix."

He nodded and slid in the next sample. He checked and looked up at me. "Anaphase."

"Mind if I check?"

He smiled and slid the microscope towards me. I checked, and he was right. I nodded. "Anaphase."

"Like I said."

We continued in this pattern until we had completed and named every sample. Mr. Banner came to check our answers, and we had gotten every one of them right.

"Congratulations, you two. You get the golden onion." He put a largely obnoxious golden trophy on our desk, with _**The Golden Onion **_inscribed on the bottom.

I laughed. "My life is now complete. I have a giant golden onion."

"High five, partner." Edward held up his hand, which I slammed my own into. He entwined our fingers together and kissed my hand. "We're good together."

I went red and smiled. "We are. But when did I not know that?"

"We should go out again." Edward smiled crookedly, still holding my hand on the table. I knew everyone was staring, but who the hell cared? "Soon."

"I think we should too. But where to, now? There's the diner or Port Angeles."

"I was thinking La Push."

"Edward…" I bit my lip and looked away. "You know who's in La Push. Who by the way, I haven't spoken to since my party."

His eyes drifted down to the bracelet I wore on my wrist. The small wooden wolf hung from its metal chain, against my ivory skin. He frowned. "Maybe you're right. Speaking of which… have you… told him… ?"

"No." I shook my head. "And I don't really want to. But I know I will have to, eventually." I bit my lip. "Whenever I try telling him, it always turns into something else. We always make promises to see each other again, though I know it hurts the both of us."

"Take your time." Edward squeezed my hand lightly. "I won't rush you. As much as I hate that Jacob boy, I know you don't want to hurt him. So be as gentle as you can."

I smiled slightly. How had I been so lucky to be best friends (And almost more) with a boy so charming and polite? "Thanks. I will."

The rest of the class passed, and then Spanish did as well. Alice and Edward met me outside my classroom, and we walked towards the car park together. As we stood on the stairs and peered around for our friends, it wasn't hard to pick them out. There was an empty space around them, where no one dared to walk. But we strode straight into the boundary.

"Hey, seniors." Emmett grinned at the three of us. "How's life at Forks High?"

"Not much different to how it was before, actually." Alice smiled and walked into Jasper's arms. They kissed briefly and then turned to look at us. "It's not the same without you guys."

"I know." Emmett grinned and opened the door to his Jeep. We all piled inside and headed back towards the Cullen house.

"Sooo…" Jasper asked, as we pulled into the garage. "I heard the two innocents went out to dinner last night. How'd it go?"

I was so sick of being called innocent. "It was fine, I guess."

"Ooh. Gossip." Emmett laughed and slapped Edward on the back. "We will discuss this later. Be prepared."

Edward groaned as we all headed towards the Cullen kitchen. Esme was baking, and Carlisle was at the hospital. She had overheard our conversation, though she pretended not to. She wasn't being very discreet – she was smiling.

"So, when's the next one?" Jasper asked me, raising his eye brow. I couldn't believe this boy had once been shy.

"Don't tell them, Bella, they'll follow us." Edward rolled his eyes and sat on a stool. He patted his lap, but I settled for leaning against his shoulder (only because his Mother was around).

"We will not." Rosalie rolled her eyes and flicked Jasper on the back of the head. "It wasn't that long ago you were in Edward's place, anyway."

"And what place am I in exactly?" Edward asked quizzically. Esme took this as a good time to leave.

"Dating your best friend." Rosalie answered with a small smile.

"We're not… _dating_…" Edward looked up at me with a raised eye brow. "Are we?"

"You practically are." Alice piped up with an impish grin.

"We've been on one date." I held my finger to signify 'one'. "That's it. Don't jump to conclusions."

"True." Rosalie smirked and looked at Alice.

"_Anyway_…" Edward smiled apologetically and looked around the room. "What have you guys been doing lately? It must be weird, not going to school."

"It is." Emmett nodded and wrapped his huge arm around Rosalie's waist. "Rose and I are looking for our own place, actually."

"Oh." Edward smiled. "That's great. Still in Forks, right?"

"Of course." Emmett grinned. "I'm working at the saw mill with a few guys my parents introduced me to, and Rose is babysitting. We're really getting along."

"That's wonderful." I smiled at both of them, truly happy for them. My eyes switched to Jasper. "What about you, Jazz? Got anything planned?"

"Not really. I'm just waiting for Alice to graduate." He winked at Alice and kissed her cheek. "It's taking too long, in my opinion."

"If I was allowed to drop out now, I would." Alice giggled.

Just then, Esme came down the stairs, her phone in hand and her eyes troubled. "Bella?"

"Are you ok, Esme?" I looked at her with worry. Why did she look so nervous?

"Carlisle just called from the hospital." She took a deep breath. "There's been an accident."

* * *

**I figured, I haven't had a cliff hanger for awhile. So here you go (: And just when you thought things were going well, too ;)**

**Please review! And tell me who you think the 'accident' involves! **


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews (: I loved each and every one of them! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight! (notice how I'm getting more and more enthusiastic with my DCs :P) **

* * *

"An accident?" I gasped, staring at Esme with confusion and worry. My chest tightened with anxiety. It must be bad… otherwise she wouldn't look so shaken. Edward's hand tightened worriedly around mine.

"Yes. Jacob was just taken to the hospital right here, in Forks." She grabbed her bag off the counter and headed for the door. "C'mon. We need to be there."

I let go of Edward immediately and took off for the door. I fastened my bag on my shoulder as we all ran out to the garage, where Esme was already climbing into her Bentley. "Bella, Edward and Alice, you take the Volvo. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie… take the Jeep."

We all nodded and climbed into our designated cars. Edward sped to the hospital faster than he had ever driven.

Was Jacob going to be ok? My heart was slamming in my chest, the tears already forming in my eyes. What if he's on the edge of death? What if he is never able to walk again? What if he has to share the same fate as his Father lives? Oh my God, oh my God…

"Bella, he's going to be fine." Edward grabbed my hand and squeezed tightly. He pulled me out of the car and towed me into the hospital, following Esme and the others through the halls. I suppose having family who work in the hospital helps when you need to make it somewhere quickly.

We arrived to a large window, where Billy, Charlie, Embry, and Quil waited outside, staring at the wall. I realized they were looking into the window – straining to see behind the aqua blue shutters.

"What happened?" I removed my hand from Edward's to clutch onto my Dad's jacket. It had specks of blood over the _Forks Police Force_ crest.

"Motorcycle accident." Charlie mumbled, barely audible. I couldn't bear to look where he was, knowing Jacob was likely to be there. "I found him on the side of the road. Covered… in…" He looked down at his bloody shoulder.

"Is he going to be ok?" The tears overflowed over my cheeks.

"They don't know. They're currently doing everything they can…"

I looked back at my friends. Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper stood awkwardly behind us, watching with sad and confused eyes. Esme was talking to Billy, which I had never expected to see. The Cullens and the Blacks hated each other.

I turned away from them. I could see a flash of blond through the shutters, which I assumed was Carlisle – how had he managed to phone Esme? I didn't know, but I was so thankful he did.

"Why is he hurt? Wasn't he wearing any… protective gear?" I sniffled desperately.

"None whatsoever." Charlie's voice cracked on the last word. "No helmet, riding jacket, nothin'."

I covered my mouth with my hand. The blood was making me dizzy, and I really needed to sit down. But how could I, when Jacob was in the next room, suffering? I couldn't even move my feet to go to Edward.

Edward. He seemed to be frozen, staring at me and then at the window. The others looked like they wanted to move, but couldn't quite make it – it was just how I felt. I wished I could throw myself into Edward's arms and cry, though my body nor my mind would not let me. Not only was Jake suffering, but I was too.

His pain was my pain.

I heard the faint sound of a quiet, constant beeping. Charlie's breath caught beside me, and I spun around to stare into the window.

All I saw was blood. And bandages. And even more blood.

"Charlie, what was that?" I cried, tearing my eyes away from the window to stare at my Dad. Tears shone in his eyes, and he didn't answer. "Dad!"

It was too much. I couldn't take it. The beeping. The blood. The bandages. The stitches.

I passed out before I got an answer.

* * *

As I began to regain consciousness, I could hear voices around me, and hands on me, but I couldn't quite identify just yet who they belonged to. Someone said, "She's waking up!" And I knew it was Emmett.

I pulled my hair off my face. "W-what happened?"

"You passed out at the hospital." Edward said softly, from next to me. I only just realized he had his arm around my shoulders, supporting most of my weight. Further inspection of my surroundings revealed I was at my house, in my bed.

"The hospital?" It all came rushing back. Jacob…

I struggled against Edward's arm. "I've got to get back! I have to see if Jacob is ok! I have to…"

"Shh," Edward stroked my hair softly. "He's fine. It's going to be ok. That's why we brought you home."

_We_. Alice was holding one of my hands, Rosalie sat at the end of my bed, Jasper stood in the door way, and Emmett sat in my rocking chair. I felt better instantly knowing they were all here with me, keeping me company during this complicated time.

"Wait, so… that wasn't his heart monitor going off before? He didn't…" I choked on my own words. "Die?"

"No. I mean, he did for a moment, but they revived him. He is in a critical condition." Edward answered, still stroking my hair. "They aren't accepting any visitors at the moment, so everyone has come here. They're all downstairs, waiting for you."

"Me? Who the hell cares about me!" I exclaimed. "Jacob is in a critical condition at the hospital and everyone is _here_?" I ripped my hand out of Alice's and jerked my body away from Edward. Someone had taken my shoes and jacket off, but I quickly rushed to get them back on.

"Bella, you can't even see him yet." Edward followed me. "There's no point of going down there now. Just stay here, and the moment we're allowed, I'll drive you to the hospital myself."

I stopped immediately and sighed. Edward had a very valid point – if I left now, I'd just be sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair drinking stale coffee. And I would never get to see Jake, anyway.

"Ok." I took off my jacket and removed my shoes. Edward sighed in relief. "I'll wait."

"It's going to be ok, I promise you that." Edward whispered and pulled me into his arms. The others watched us carefully and quietly from their positions around my room.

"I'm just so scared for him." I sniffled and wiped my eyes. He pressed me to his chest and kissed my forehead. "What if he doesn't make it? What will I do?"

"We will be there for you, no matter what happens." Edward breathed against my hair. He pulled my face away from his body to look into my eyes. "But nothing bad is going to happen. He will be ok, and you'll go back to normal."

I nodded, desperate to believe his words.

"Now let's go downstairs and let Charlie know you're ok." Edward took my hand and looked back at our friends. They silently followed us down the stairs, where Charlie, Billy, Embry, and Quil were crowded in the kitchen, sipping coffee and water.

"Hey, you're awake." Charlie smiled and pulled me into a one-armed hug. "Do you feel ok?"

"I am now. It was all just… a little overwhelming."

Charlie looked down at Billy and the two teenage boys. "It's been overwhelming all round."

I looked at Billy. "I'm so sorry about what happened to Jake, Billy."

Billy nodded. "Thanks, Bella."

"I'm glad he's going to be ok." I nodded and wiped my eyes again. "I was so worried. I couldn't get to that hospital fast enough."

"Thank you for being there." Billy said. "Even though most of us can't get in there and see him until tomorrow. Mr and Mrs Cullen are going to be there working there all night."

"Carlisle _and _Esme?" I asked in confusion. Edward came and stood next to Charlie and I.

"Yes. Mrs. Cullen is helping the nurses."

"She can do that?"

"She's the head doctor's wife. She can do anything." Edward smiled crookedly, and then shrugged. "She wanted to help, anyway. You know how she is."

I nodded, but couldn't yet smile.

"Well, we're going to have to wait it out until tomorrow." Charlie sighed, speaking to all of us now. "You can all sleep here, if you like, though I'd have to set up extra beds."

"Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Edward can sleep in my room. We've done it before." I looked at Charlie. "And they don't mind. It's getting late, anyway." I turned to Billy, Quil and Embry. "I'll see you guys in the morning."

"Night, Bella." They mumbled sleepily.

I led my friends upstairs, and after awhile Quil, Embry and Billy went back to La Push. Charlie lumbered up the stairs passed my room, too tired to check on us or care that Edward and I would end up sleeping in the same bed. Again. The others found it funny, meanwhile, I still couldn't bring myself to smile.

"C'mon, Bells," Emmett said, from the ball of blankets and two pillows I had set up for him and Rosalie on the floor. "He's gonna be fine. You have nothing to worry about."

"Don't be so insensitive, Emmett." Edward chastised him from his position next to me. He had tucked both of us under the blankets, so close we were practically overlapping. I couldn't think of a better comfort right now.

"But really, Edward, Emmett is right." Alice said, from her place on Jasper's lap on the rocking chair. She pulled the blanket higher over her and Jasper and looked at Edward and I. "You will go and see him tomorrow, and awake or not, he will be fine."

"But that doesn't change the fact that he's in _pain_." I scowled at all of them. "Think about it, guys. Doesn't it bother you? Yes, he's going to live, but will he suffer in the next few weeks? Yes."

Edward hugged me tighter and kissed my hair. "I understand, sweetheart."

"I know _you _do." I sighed. I squinted at my friends through the dark, trying to sound apologetic. "Sorry guys. I'm just… freaking out, I guess." I shook my head against Edward's chest.

"We know, Bella. And we don't blame you for it." Rosalie said, in the dark. Her voice still managed to sound like bells, even when I couldn't see her face.

"Thanks, Rose." I smiled slightly in the dark. Edward squeezed my hand at Rosalie's positive input. He wanted us to be friends just as much as I did.

"Well… I'm not even tired. And seeing as we have no school tomorrow…" Alice chimed in the dark. I could vaguely see her and Jasper's shadow from the moonlight shining in through my window. "Let's chat!"

"Alice," I whined. "Charlie will be pissed if we keep him up with our talking."

"Aw, c'mon, we'll be quiet." She begged.

"It's late, Alice, and Bella has had a big day." Edward slid us down until we were lying horizontally. I leant my head against his chest while he kept his hand against my hair.

"You guys suck." Alice huffed, and I saw her wiggle into Jasper's arms.

"I know." I breathed and closed my eyes. Edward began stroking my hair, like always, until I started to lose consciousness. I was halfway asleep when I felt a smooth finger tracing my features, from my jaw line to my hair line.

"Edward…" I mumbled sleepily. "What are you doing…"

"Nothing." He answered, not nearly as tired as I was. I could hear Emmett's snoring in the background, over his voice. "Just… exploring."

"My head?" I asked.

"Yes." He chuckled and continued to run his finger up my cheek. "You don't know how beautiful something is until you explore it in every way."

"So… this is your way of finding out how beautiful I am?" I asked skeptically.

He chuckled again. I loved the sound. "No. I already know that, silly. This is just me wanting to touch you."

I blushed and buried my face into his chest. He stopped tracing my face and rested his hand on my hair, stroking softly with his thumb. I took a deep breath and attempted to calm my rapid heartbeat – again.

"I'm sorry I woke you." He said quietly, after a few moments of silence.

"It's alright. I couldn't sleep anyway." I lied.

"Mmm…" He murmured, leaning down to kiss my hair. I shuffled higher up his body until my head was leaning in the crook of his neck. His grip tightened on me until it was almost too tight, our legs entwined under the covers. If Charlie walked in, he would be _mad._

His voice was barely audible as he whispered, "I love you, Bella."

"I love you too, Edward."

He smiled and tilted my face up to meet his. Our noses touched, and soon we got so close I could almost _feel_ his lips against mine. Something was pulling at me, forcing me back – it took me a moment to realize it was Jacob.

"Wait." I put my hands on his chest. "I'm sorry. I want to, but we can't do this until I know Jacob is ok for sure." I couldn't believe _I _was the one resisting now.

He sighed and pulled slightly away. "I know. I'm sorry, how insensitive of me. When I'm around you, I can't think straight…"

"It's ok. I know the feeling." I grimaced and settled back into my place against his neck. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close. "But I don't want to sleep yet. I don't think I can."

"Me either."

"But you don't care about Jacob. Why should this bother you?" I knew it was mean and uncalled for, but my mouth spoke before I could control it. Again.

"It bothers me because it bothers you."

It took a moment for my tired mind to figure that out. "But… why?"

"Because he is important to you, and therefore…" He took a deep breath before answering. "He is important to me."

My organs turned into mush. Edward was even better than I thought he was, and I had never even noticed. Once again, I was only looking at the negative of a situation. Typical Bella.

"Thank you." I said, over Emmett's snoring. It kind of killed the mood. "You don't need to be so nice all the time, you know. I'd like to see at least a little bit of hatred."

"I could never feel any hatred towards anything involved with you, Bella." He sighed, tightening his hold around me. "It's physically impossible."

"I'm glad." I smiled and buried my face into his chest once again. "Night, Edward."

"Goodnight, love."

Within seconds, I dropped off to sleep.

* * *

Late the next day, Carlisle called us saying it was alright for us to come down to the hospital. We immediately packed out things and drove in Edward's Volvo, and Charlie's cruiser. Once again, we sped.

"You'll have to be gentle." Carlisle warned us, before allowing us to walk into Jacob's room. "And prepare yourselves."

Billy went in first, with Quil and Embry. After half an hour of silence, they came out, looking pale and troubled. This can't be good.

"Bella." Carlisle looked at me, his eyes soft.

I nodded and looked back at Edward. "Will you come with me?"

"Of course." He nodded and followed me inside.

Before I had even entered, I could hear loud beeping and gurgling sounds. It wasn't until I was actually _in _the room that they became real. I saw the machines, and the drips… and I wanted to throw up. Not because they were disgusting, but because they made me so nervous and scared I could barely stand up straight. Edward kept a firm arm around my waist, guiding me towards Jacob's bedside.

Looking at Jacob was even harder. I was so used to him smiling happily and laughing the day away – not lying in a hospital bed, bandages around his head and needles stuck into his wrists. His eyes were closed, and his beautiful russet skin was so much paler than usual. I now understood why his father and friends came out looking so troubled; this boy didn't look like Jacob. He looked like a corpse in a bed.

I had underestimated how hard this would be.

"Edward," I nervously clutched to his hand, hoping for the comfort and warmth I knew would come with my best friend.

"I'm here, sweetheart." He held onto me tighter, and led me slowly towards the bed. The lump in my throat was doubling, tripling, quadrupling in size by the second. The tears had already started pooling in my eyes, clouding my vision.

"Jake." I blubbered, reaching out to softly touch his pale hand. I couldn't say anything else without coming out a squeak.

"Shh, Bella…" Edward stroked my back soothingly, when it wasn't me that needed the comforting. He looked almost as pained as I did. "It's alright. He's alright, he's just resting."

I turned away and buried my face into Edward's shirt. I was pretty sure I was soaking it with tears, but he didn't care – we stood there, holding each other, for what seemed like eternity. I would have stopped sooner, but the beeping and the images of Jacob I still had in my head only added to my hysteria.

"We have to go." Edward whispered in my ear. "But we can come back whenever you like. I think I should take you home now. Alright?"

I nodded and let him lead me back outside. The others looked at us sadly when we approached, and Charlie tried to cheer me up with jokes and memories that didn't work. Edward said he'd take me to his house, and Charlie trusted he wouldn't do anything explicit at a time like this. Though it would make me feel better…

Edward drove me home in his Volvo and carried me up to his room. We settled on his bed under the covers, while he held me and told me stories about growing up with Alice after I left. I soon started to calm down, the tears finally stopping. Edward still seemed anxious.

"You can't cry for someone that much and not love them," He mused, and it mostly sounded like he was talking to himself. "It's absurd."

I shook my head. "It's not. I do love him, just not in the same way I love you."

Edward looked down at me warily. "I don't know, Bella. I tried to kiss you last night, and you pulled back because of him. Doesn't that mean something?"

I flushed. "No… it just means, I need to tell him how I feel officially before I start anything with you. Once I do that, we will be free to do anything we want."

Edward still looked skeptical. "I don't know, Bella. Are you sure you're making the right choice?"

At first, I wasn't. But this accident had brought out something in me, something that had determined my real choice. If Jacob had died in this accident (God forbid), I would have been beyond upset. But if _Edward_ died in an accident – well, I couldn't be myself. Only a lifeless shell, never to see my best friend ever again…

"Oh, Edward!" I cried out desperately and wrapped my arms around him.

He seemed alarmed. "Bella?"

"I know it's horrible, but I'm so glad it wasn't you in that accident!" I felt the tears pricking behind my eyes once again. I was so heartless and selfish. How can anyone possibly love me?

"Shh," He rubbed my back and kissed my hair. "It's ok, I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." He clearly tried to lighten the mood. "I don't even know how to ride a motorcycle."

I laughed a breathy laugh and hugged him tighter.

A few hours later, Carlisle, Esme and Alice arrived home. They told us the others had gone home, and that Charlie approved of me sleeping over here. Which meant… another sleepover with Edward.

"Ok, I'm guessing you two didn't have dinner?" Alice asked us, waltzing into Edward's room unannounced and unashamed. I was nervous for her to see us so close, but Edward didn't seem fazed.

"No, we haven't." Edward answered. "We've been up here all evening."

"Well, Dad has come home for a rare break, and he would like to see you." Alice smiled and held out her hand to me. "C'mon, let's go downstairs."

I took her hand and let her tow me downstairs, where dinner was being served. Esme and Carlisle smiled when they saw the two of us.

"Nice to see you, stranger." Carlisle embraced his son, and then kissed my forehead. "How are you feeling, Bella?"

"Fine, thanks." In truth, I wasn't feeling very hungry. The image of Jacob in that hospital bed still hovered in my mind, turning me off food.

I picked at my leftover pizza. Edward could clearly see that I wasn't eating, and cleared my plate early during the meal. Esme kept up easy conversation away from Jacob, and I started to feel a little better. I could see everyone loosening up and enjoying each other's company without dwelling on depressing subjects.

"Well, we're going to go to bed." Alice sighed after our meal. She grabbed onto my hand and stood up. "Come on, Bella."

Edward followed, saying a quick goodnight to his parents.

"You know, Alice, I was kinda hoping I'd get to stay in Edward's room…" I mumbled uncertainly.

Alice smiled. "_Obviously_. I was just creating a diversion for the parents."

"Oh." I smiled slightly. "Well, thanks, Al."

"No problem." She placed my hand in Edward's, like they do at a traditional wedding. Typical Alice. "Goodnight, you two. Stay safe."

Edward and I rolled our eyes and headed towards his room. Sometime in the past hour and a half, Alice had laid out clothing for me to sleep in on Edward's bed, plus a spare toothbrush. I thanked her and changed quickly, eager to crawl into bed next to my best friend.

* * *

The next two weeks passed uneventfully after Edward, Alice and I went back to school. Jacob was slowly getting better, though he was barely able to speak yet. He could open his eyes and twitch his fingers, but that's how far it got. I went to visit him every day after school, to which the rest of the group tagged along. I was grateful for their support, and I think Jacob was happy to have some company. Even if one member of the company was his enemy.

"Jake, I brought you this." I smiled and handed him a toy truck I had found behind my closet yesterday. It looked just like his Rabbit. "I just found it, lying around. Pretty cool, huh?"

He slightly nodded his head, feeling the car with his hands. I imagined him grinning like he used to, which brought a smile out of me. Edward watched on, his arms folded and a small smile on his face. I knew this hurt him to watch, but he endured it in silence.

"How you been, Jake?" I asked conversationally, tracing a pattern on the covers of his bed. I heard a quiet murmuring sound, and I knew that was him trying to speak. "Oh. So it's been that kind of day."

Edward chuckled from the seat across the room.

"Well, you'll be happy to know, this day has sort of sucked for me too." I sighed. "First, I was late to school and received a lunch time detention. Then, Mr. Banner yelled at Edward and I for not paying attention in class."

I could hear Rosalie and Alice giggling from behind me.

Jacob looked at me with curiosity.

"Well," I began. "I was late because I stayed up late that night… doing homework." My eyes flickered to Edward, and then back to Jacob. "And Edward and I got in trouble because we were speaking too loud for the silent room, apparently." I rolled my eyes and smiled. "Not that Mr. Banner scares me. _Emmett _scares me more than that man does."

Emmett burst into laughter behind me. Jacob made a strange strangled noise, which I had come to learn was a laugh.

"If you came to Forks High, you'd know." I raised my eye brows at Jacob. He shook his head, and we all laughed.

It was these moments I lived for, now. I was happy to know Jacob was healing, and everyone was on better terms with him. Even Edward talked to him, sometimes – not that Jacob ever answered back properly, but it was a start. The two kind of reminded me of Rosalie and I; they both misunderstood each other, but found a similarity in the end.

"Well, Jake," I stood up and fastened my back pack over my shoulder. "It's that time of the day. We have to go."

Jacob sighed and nodded.

I leaned down and squeezed his hand. "I'll see you tomorrow, hopefully."

We headed back out of the hospital, saying a quick hello to Carlisle on our way out. I always felt so much better after visiting Jacob – like the weights had been taken off my shoulders. My mood always brightened at this time in the evening, which Charlie seemed to enjoy (only because that meant me cooking his favorite meal).

I was the first to be dropped off. They all wished me a quick goodnight, and Edward promised to see me later that night. I ran across my lawn, and Charlie greeted me happily when I stepped through the door and got to work on dinner.

"How's Jake?" He asked me an hour later, over steak and potatoes.

"I think he's getting better." I nodded. "He's gone from silent to making funny little murmuring sounds."

Charlie smiled. "That's great to here. Carlisle is really doing a great job with taking care of him. He's in good hands, that's for sure."

I nodded. "Yes, he is. When do you think he'll be out?"

"Not for another month." Charlie sighed and took a drink of beer. "He's still got quite a bit of healing to do." He smiled. "But, I tell ya, when that boy gets out of hospital, I'm gonna give him a grilling for riding that motorcycle without the right gear. I see enough stupid teenagers smeared across the road in vehicle accidents; I was sad to know he was one of them."

"Mmm."

I finished my meal and headed up to my room to call Renee. We had made it a weekly rule that we _must _make contact _at least_ once a week. Especially since Jacob had been hurt – Renee was suddenly concerned I would end up twisted around a tree in my truck.

"Bella!" Renee exclaimed excitedly as soon as I dialed her number. "How are you, sweetie?"

"Good." I smiled and sat on my bed. "I went to see Jake again today."

"How is he?"

"Recovering slowly." I nodded and tapped my feet against the wooden floorboards. "He's moved from silence to murmuring. It's a big leap."

"That's great." She laughed. "I'm counting down the days until you get here. We're currently on twenty-eight days."

"I'm excited to see you, Mom." I grinned at the thought of my crazy Mother. It had been forever since I had seen her. "And I think Edward is, too."

"Oh, Edward." She teased. "I'm looking forward to seeing him again. And the way he acts around you, because from what Esme tells me –"

"Mom!" I whined. "Seriously, you have to stop having your little bonding sessions with Edward's Mom. It's embarrassing for both of us."

"It's exciting!" Renee replied happily. "Have you gone out with him since Jacob's accident?"

"Not really. Though we've been studying until late most nights." I lied. We weren't really _studying_…

"Ah, the old 'study session' excuse." My Mom sighed. "I remember using that one."

"Mom!"

"What? It's true."

I sighed. "I miss you."

"I miss you too, baby. Not long now, of course. Phil is looking forward to seeing you too!" She still had that dreamy tone in her voice when she spoke her husband's name. I was glad to hear they were still happy.

"I can't wait to see him, too." I smiled and glanced at my alarm clock. 9:05 pm. "I need to go, Mom. I'm tired."

"Oh, alright, sweetie. I'll talk to you soon, I suppose."

"Of course. I love you, Mom. Night."

"I love you too, baby. Sweet dreams."

I hung up the phone and spun around to face my window. Like always, Edward sat on my window sill, smiling crookedly.

"Like clockwork."

He chuckled and slid easily into my bedroom. "Obviously."

Though it had only been a few hours since we had seen each other last, I couldn't help running into his arms and wrapping my arms around his neck. He kissed my jaw and buried his face into my neck, inhaling deeply.

"I missed you." He breathed.

"I miss you too." I whispered.

He smiled and led me to the bed. He collapsed before me, and then opened his arms. I fit easily onto his lap, and I was just tall enough for my head to fit into the crevice between his chin and his collarbone.

"You're very sweet with Jacob." Edward smiled.

"Thanks." I laughed and pushed my hair behind my ear. "I only want to make him feel good while he's trapped in that hospital. I know that's what I would want."

"I think you're making him love you more." Edward chuckled and ran his hand up my arm, sending goose bumps running up my skin. "You're just too loveable for your own good."

"Sorry."

He shook his head as he laughed. He lightly tapped my nose and lifted me off his lap. "Up you hop, care bear. You'd better go and get ready for bed."

I giggled childishly and collected my things. I ducked half way down the stairs to make sure Charlie had the TV turned up high enough, (which he did), and then I went back upstairs to take a shower. I hurried as usual, and then skipped into my room to find Edward facing the window, about to pull his shirt over his head.

I stared.

Edward turned around. "Oh, hey Bella."

"Uh, sorry." I mumbled, tearing my eyes away from his smooth skin and endless chest. "I didn't mean to…"

"Bella, it's ok." He chuckled. "It doesn't matter."

I nodded and walked back over to my bed with my damp hair and baggy sweats. He followed, still smirking, and climbed under the covers with me. With his body pressed against mine and his hands buried into my hair, I was having trouble breathing.

"Calm, Bella." Edward breathed into my ear.

_How can I be calm, when having you so close to me every single night almost pushes me off the edge! Heck, we haven't even kissed properly yet! You've let me sit on your lap, and yet you expect me to –_

"You're tense." His hands moved from hair to my shoulders. He began rubbing his fingers in deep circles over my skin. "That's better."

_Is he TRYING to kill me_?

"Edward," I somehow found my voice. "I can't sleep when you're doing that."

"I'm sorry." I could hear the mocking smile in his voice as he removed his hands from my shoulders, and wrapped them around my waist instead. He rested his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes. "Ok, you can sleep now."

"Do you know how annoying you can be?" I joked, grinning in the dark.

"I think I've been told once or twice."

I laughed quietly and closed my eyes. I could feel him breathing on my neck, tempting me to turn around and kiss him full on the mouth. This boy was bringing out my teenage urges like nothing before – how had he learned to do that?

"Goodnight, sweetheart." He kissed my neck softly.

My breath caught in my throat. "Uh… n-night Edward."

He chuckled and did it again.

"Calm down, love, I can practically feel your heartbeat against the back of your rib cage."

What? He could? I was screwed. "Edward…" I whined.

"Ok, ok, you can sleep. I won't bother you." He laughed and rolled over. I laid in peace for a few minutes, but soon it wasn't enough. I rolled over and curled up against Edward's back, and fell asleep in seconds.

* * *

**The things I love: **

**Awkward Bella.**

**Teasing Edward. **

**A Jacob and Edward alliance. **

**An oblivious Charlie. **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that! Please drop me a review and let me know what you thought!**

**(btw, aren't I a machine with all these updates? WOW.)**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: You guys are great (; seriously, there are no other ways to explain it! I guess what I'm saying is, thanks for all the wonderful reviews! XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight! **

**(Give me a moment to figure out how to start this chapter… hold on… wait a minute… :D I got it!) (On with it…)**

* * *

"Are you sure you've got everything, Bells?" Charlie asked, poking his head into my pig sty of a room. Clothes were everywhere, drawers were pulled out – and it only meant one thing.

Alice Cullen.

"I think so, Charlie." Alice answered for him, closing my small suitcase closed with a loud zipping sound. She was checking things off her list as she went; and I hoped she had everything. We've been at this for awhile, and I'm not even leaving for Phoenix for another two days.

"Renee has called three times to make sure you're still coming." Charlie chuckled and continued down the hall to his room. Alice had made a day of this packing, and I _think_ she wanted to sleepover. There goes the Edward plan.

"Well, I'm tired." I sighed and pushed the leftover clothes Alice had discarded off my bed. "Night, Alice."

"No, Bella!" Alice shrilled and jumped onto the bed beside me. She always reminded me of a jungle cat. "After all these months, how can you not understand how a sleepover works! When Edward's here, you seem to get it fine…"

"Shh!" I slapped her lightly in the arm. "Not so loud. Charlie's in the next room."

She rolled her eyes. "We're going to make this a real slumber party. It's been so long since it was just the two of us. Ever since Edward…" She sighed and shook her head. "He dominates all your time. Now it's his sister's turn."

I guess she was right. It had been awhile since Alice and I had time alone, just the two of us, without Edward close by. I missed her. "Ok, Al. Come here."

She crawled up beside me and rested her head against my shoulder. "How you been, Bell?"

"Good." I nodded. Jacob had improved greatly in the past month – he could now eat, talk and almost walk comfortably. He had been released from hospital just last week; a whole three days earlier than expected. He was a quick healer. "What about you, Alice?"

"I had a pregnancy scare." Her voice turned small and embarrassed.

My eyes widened. "You _what_?"

"I know, I know, it was stupid. But I'm not pregnant, I promise." She looked up at me with pleading eyes. "Please, don't tell Edward. Or my parents."

"Of course I won't." I frowned and lightly touched her hair. "How could you have been so careless?"

"It's not as bad as it sounds." She sighed and relaxed marginally. "It was a mistake. We didn't expect…"

"You have to be more careful." I felt like I was talking to my daughter rather than my best friend. This was what it was like with Renee, most of the time – I had to be the responsible one while she had all the fun.

"I know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"Does anyone else know?"

"No, no one. Not even Jasper."

"_Jasper _doesn't know?" I gawked. "How in the world could he possibly not know?"

"I didn't want to scare him. What if he had freaked out and left me?" She sounded panicked again. I wrapped an arm around her and sighed.

"He wouldn't do that." I shook my head. I didn't know Jasper as well as I knew Emmett, for example, but I knew he wasn't _that _kind of guy. He's not the kind of person to get up and go when things get hard. "But anyway, you're not even pregnant. So it doesn't matter."

"You're right." She nodded. "Enough about me. How's the situation with Edward?"

"On the fence. We're not quite… together, but we're not really… _not _together." Alice laughed and I frowned. "If that makes sense."

"It does, I think. Emmett is pretty confused." She giggled. "But personally, I think he likes you. Like, _a lot_. You can see it in his eyes whenever he looks at you."

I blushed and bit my lip. "Alice… he told me he loved me."

"What?" She leaped up from beside me to stare, wide eyed and excited. "He did? When! Oh my God, Bella, how could you have kept this from me?"

"I don't know. I didn't want to tell anyone, really." I avoided her eyes. "I don't think he wanted me to. It was supposed to be a secret."

"Whoa, slow down." She held up her hands. "When did this happen?"

"Uh…" My voice lowered until it could barely be heard. "A month and a half ago?"

"_Bella!_" She whined on the top of her voice. "How could you have kept this a secret from me! Your best friend _in the whole entire world_!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I just…" I shrugged and looked at her with begging eyes. "Please, don't tell anyone, Alice. I don't want Emmett teasing Edward anymore than he already does."

"Of course I won't." She held out her pinky finger. "Pinky swear. I won't tell about you and Edward, and you can't tell about my scare. Swear?"

I interlaced my pinky finger with hers. "Swear."

We shook, and then she crossed her legs and turned to face me straight on. "So," Alice grinned and nudged me. "Have you kissed him yet?"

"No. Jacob has been getting in my way."

She frowned. "Jacob?"

I awkwardly rubbed the back of my neck. "Yeah. It's not that I love Jake, because I don't… it's just, he loves me, and he's sick at the moment…" I realized Alice didn't know that Jacob was in love with me. Though I didn't think it was hard to see.

"Wow. So, Jacob loves you too?" She shook her head. "You've got yourself in a bit of a mess, haven't you Bell?"

"Yes." I sighed and looked up at her through my lashes. "I mean, I love Edward. I know I do. But whenever I get… close… to Edward, Jacob is still at the back of my mind, lying in that hospital bed with needles sticking out of his wrists. How could I possibly be kissing this other boy when my friend is in pain?"

Alice grabbed onto both of my hands and looked into my eyes. "Bella. Think about yourself for once, _please._ Yes, Jacob is still recovering, and yes, he loves you. But that shouldn't stop you from being happy. Be with Edward. Fulfill what you have been dreaming of for the past six months. _Forget about Jacob._"

If only it were that easy. "I know, I've tried. I've said goodbye to him so many times, but it never sticks. I always end up crawling back."

"It's because you feel sorry for him." Alice sighed and shook her head. "You are too nice for your own good, Bella. Let him go. Tell him how you feel, and that you may never actually be what he hopes."

"I don't even know if friendship will be possible now." The thought cut me deep, and I knew it would scar. "It's too hard, being around him… knowing that he loves me like Edward does. They're so different."

"They are." Alice nodded slowly. "But you have to decide which one you can't live without."

"I already know." My voice was sure and strong. This one thing, I did know. "For sure. I want Edward."

"Then go for it. Leave Jacob behind."

I looked away from her, deliberating. I saw the next few years with Edward flash before my eyes –nothing but endless happiness and love rolled into one. I knew Edward would never leave me again, and the thought comforted and inspired me.

Then, I saw my life if I continued leading Jacob on.

Confusion. Pain – and it wasn't even my pain. It was Edward's and Jacob's. Nothing but cat and mouse, back and forward. Always changing, always overlapping. How could we possibly live in peace?

"It's decided." I nodded and looked at her. "I'm going to do it. I need to tell Jacob… I don't think I can see him anymore."

* * *

I told Jacob the next morning.

I decided I needed to see him in person – a phone call or a text wouldn't do. I found him where he spent most of his time these days; in his bedroom. He was sprawled across his tiny bed, reading a motorsports magazine. When I entered, his grin widened and he welcomed me with the warmth I was sure I would miss.

I let him down easy. I explained the situation with Edward, and what we had confessed to each other. He listened with tight lipped silence, his face showing no emotion. I almost couldn't continue several times, but imagining Edward's face in my head and Alice's inspiring words spurred me on. It was hard… but I knew it was for the better.

And that's how I ended my friendship with Jacob.

I was only upset for a few hours. Sure, there was a part of me that mourned for the loss of such a strong friendship, but the other part told me everything was going to be ok, as long as Edward was by my side. He turned up bright and early on the morning on our Phoenix trip, smiling brightly.

"Ready?" He asked me.

I nodded. Though we were only going to visit my mom… I felt like he was asking me something else. Was I ready to move on?

I nodded. "I'm ready."

We said goodbye to our friends and Charlie, and then headed toward the airport in Edward's Volvo. He parked the car in the car park and then we walked into the terminal, hand-in-hand and ready for anything.

* * *

A few hours later, we had arrived in Phoenix. Edward pushed his sunglasses over his eyes and squinted into the sun, taking in the surroundings and humid air.

"Bella! Edward!"

We both turned out heads to the sound. There, to our right, was scatterbrained Renee, waving her arms and grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Mom!" I ran towards her, letting her pull me into her arms and hold me tight. "Mom, I'm so glad to see you!"

"You too, baby!" She kissed my cheek and pulled away to look me over. "My, how you've grown in only eight months."

I rolled my eyes and stepped away from her. Edward lumbered towards us, carrying suitcases and smiling like a God.

"Hello, Renee."

"Edward!" She laughed and pulled him into a hug. He hugged back, and little surprised. "It's so nice to see you again!"

"You too." He pulled away and smiled at me.

"Well, let's get a move on!" She skipped towards her car and opened the door for us. We followed and both slid into the back, our hands entwined against my knee. "How was your flight?"

"Good." Edward and I exchanged a sneaky glance.

Yes, the flight had been good. Edward had spent the whole time teasing me, purposely stroking my arm and running his fingers through my hair, always coming so close to my lips but never quite making contact. I knew I was ready to kiss him, yes, but just not on a crowded airplane.

Definitely not. Only in case I got carried away.

"Phil has just arrived home from Atlanta. He lost his game." She peered back at us through her sunglasses while still watching the road. "I think seeing you two will cheer him up."

"It'll be good to see him." I nodded and looked up at Edward. "Phil plays ball for a living."

"Have I heard of him?"

"He's minor league."

Renee laughed and tapped her fingers to the beat of the radio on her steering wheel. "Yeah, he's not famous. _Yet. _Maybe you will have something in common with him, Edward."

"Maybe." Edward smiled pleasantly. He was the perfect boy to meet my Mom.

We arrived back at the small house in Scottsdale within the next half an hour. Though it was winter, the sun blared down on us, heating the interior of the house and pavement just as I remembered. I saw the several cacti that lined our street and smiled. I had missed this.

"So this is home?" Edward asked me, following Renee into our house with our luggage in hand.

"Yep." I nodded as I looked around the old porch with the swing chair and the leftover jack-o-lanterns from Halloween. I could tell Phil had had no input in decorating my Mom and I's old home – it was all Renee.

We walked into the kitchen, where Phil sat eating cereal.

"Bella!" He stood up and put an arm around me. "Nice to see you."

I smiled. "You too, Phil." I turned towards Edward, who had pushed his sunglasses off his head and looked as sexy as ever. "Phil this is Edward… my…" I took a deep breath. "Boyfriend."

Phil raised his eye brows and held out his hand. "Oh, well, it's nice to finally meet you, Edward."

"You too, sir." Edward smiled and looked a little surprised by my title for him.

"You can call me Phil."

"Sure, Phil."

"Ok," Renee clapped her hands together and beamed at both of us. "I'll show you to your rooms."

I was sleeping in my old room, just like I had expected, and Edward was taking the guest room. I never dreamed Renee would let us share a room; she was too motherly and protective for that. I had no doubt Edward would be sneaking into my room during the night, though.

"Well, I'll let you guys get settled." She looked purposely at me, and then left the room hollering Phil's name.

"Boyfriend, huh?" Edward smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist as soon as Renee had left the room.

"Yes. Are you alright with that?" I was already flushing red. Could I not last one moment without blushing like a fool? "There was no other title for you. Best friend sounded childish."

"You're right. I fully agree with you." He grinned and pressed his forehead to mine, letting me wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer. "I quite like that title. Will you be using it often?"

"Depends." I smirked. "Do you _want _me to use it often?"

"I think I do." He chuckled and tickled my nose with his.

"Bella! Edward!" I could hear my Mom dancing down the hall in that dream-like way she always does, and Edward quickly separated himself from me. Renee appeared at the door, her face red and excited. "I was just wondering if you wanted anything to eat."

I knew she wouldn't be able to leave us alone for more than two minutes. "Sure, Mom, that would be great."

We had an early lunch out on the porch, and then Renee announced she was hoping to take us to the beach. Edward and I both happily obliged and ran to get our bathing suits on. It was a novelty to go swimming (in the sun) for us Washingtonians.

"Are you just as excited as I am?" Edward asked, as he walked out of his guest room wearing board shorts and a singlet top.

"Yeah!" I laughed and pushed my sunglasses over my eyes. It was even bright in the house.

We walked to the beach in the sweltering sun, though it was winter. We spent hours playing in the sand, though it was winter. We paddled in the water together… yep, though it was winter. What could be a better way to spend this weekend?

"If you're not careful, you're going to burn." Edward chuckled and splashed me lightly with water. "Your skin isn't used to this sun."

"Neither is yours." I laughed and looked towards the beach, where Renee was asleep with her hat over her head.

"Yes, but I was smart enough to apply sun screen before we left the house."

I glared at him. He laughed, and picked me up over his shoulder and headed back for the sand. "You put some lotion on, missy. I don't want you hurting with sunburn for the next few days."

I sighed and did as I was told. Edward applied to my back (to my embarrassment) just as Renee was waking up.

"Hey, you two." She smiled and took in the scene.

I blushed. "Hey, Mom. I forgot to put on sunscreen before we left."

"I can see that." She raised her eye brows.

"There." Edward smiled and rubbed his hands together. "Was that so bad, Bell?"

Renee giggled.

I pouted and descended back into the deck chair. Edward smiled and walked back out onto the sand, and then dived into the water gracefully as always.

"You've got it bad for him, sweetie." Renee declared after a few minutes of seagull noises and screaming kids. "Any stranger can see it."

"Is it really that obvious?"

"Yes. And let me tell you…" Her smile widened. "He has it just as bad for you."

Having someone else (besides Alice and the rest of my friends) tell me this intensified the warm and fuzzy feeling I felt in my stomach. My Mom had always been the ultimate judge of relationships – she always guessed and dissected every small move a person made, and judged their character on their body language. I had a feeling she was about to give me a full report of Edward's.

"He seems…" She frowned slightly as we both watched him swim around ahead of us. "Confused, but so sure, if that makes sense. He doesn't know how to act around you sometimes… whether it's too much, or too little. He's a hopeless romantic."

"Mom," I had started blushing the moment she said the word 'he'. "We've been here for what… four and a half hours? And you can already see right through him."

"And you." She smiled and squeezed my hand. "Be careful. Don't get too involved. If this ends badly…"

"It won't." I shook my head. Though Edward had hurt me the first time, I knew he wouldn't do it again. The past few weeks have _not _been a lie. "Or at least, not any time soon."

Renee nodded.

"Do I just sound like a stereotypical teenager, here? Or am I making sense?" I pushed my sunglasses onto the top of my head.

She looked at me. "You have never been a stereotypical teenager, Bella. You are becoming more and more middle aged every day. You are ten times smarter than half of my friends." She squeezed my hand again. "You're sure of yourself, and that's a wonderful thing."

If only she knew the confusion and anxiety I have been going through since Jacob's accident. I was far from sure of myself… though I liked to think I was getting there.

"It's getting dark." Renee sat up in her chair and started collecting her belongings into her bag. "Phil is waiting at home. I booked a restaurant for the four of us at seven."

"Sounds good." I stood up and motioned for Edward to come back. He jogged out of the water and collected his towel from me, wrapping it around his body (Which I couldn't stop staring at, by the way).

"Did you have a nice talk with your Mom?" He asked me quietly, while Renee was still collecting her things. I had forgotten how disorganized she was.

"Yeah, it was good. Did you have a nice swim?"

"Yes." He smiled and wrapped his cold arm around my shoulders. Renee caught up with us and we walked back to the house, taking in the setting sun and humid air.

We went to dinner that night, which was pleasant and familiar. Edward and Phil talked about baseball, and my Mom and I caught up on our latest doings, in Forks and abroad. I told her about Charlie and Jacob, and she told me about her crazy hobbies like jet skiing or beading. I couldn't help but laugh at the things she had gotten up to while they were in Kentucky a few weeks ago – apparently, she had gotten lost more than once.

"That was fun," Renee smiled, once we had arrived back at the house after our meal. "I haven't got anything planned for tomorrow besides a sleep-in and martinis on the deck."

I rolled my eyes and pulled my Mom into a hug. "That sounds great. I'll see you in the morning."

"Ok! Goodnight!" Renee kissed my cheek and skipped off with Phil trailing behind her. Edward and I walked towards our rooms (Which Renee had done the mistake of putting directly across from each other).

"Well," Edward smiled crookedly and interlaced our fingers. "Looks like it's time for bed."

"Alright." I sighed and stepped away from him, into my room. "I'll see you in a bit."

He nodded and disappeared into his room. I turned around and gazed around my old bedroom, which still had a few of my old belongings strewn around. There were pictures of my Mother and I in Forks, small teddy bears and dolls from my early childhood. I didn't remember any of them, but I now realized I didn't have a very good memory.

I had a shower to cool down and got changed into my shorts and a singlet top. When I was done, I walked back into the kitchen to get a glass of water. On my way back, I checked the coast was clear for later.

I drank my water and crawled into bed. I knew it was only a matter of time before Edward appeared in my room, teasing me with his body again.

Ten minutes later, I felt his arms around my waist, pulling me into him. My back felt unusually smooth against his chest… he was wearing no shirt.

"Edward," I whispered, my voice breathy and dazed. "Aren't you wearing a shirt?"

"No. It's hot in Arizona." He whispered back.

I hoped he couldn't feel the heat radiating from my blush from where he was. I obviously didn't have the same effect he had on me, because he was not acting as I was. I held his hands tightly to my stomach, unable to close my eyes in fear he'll disappear.

"Does that bother you?" He asked, amusement thick in his tone.

"It's risky."

"I like a little risk." He breathed into my ear, sending shivers up my spine. Seriously, how did he do that?

"Well, I don't," I lied. I never wanted to see him in a shirt again.

"Mmm…" He smiled. "Your blush tells me otherwise."

I stayed silent.

"It's been a big day. You need your rest for more sun and martinis." He chuckled and pulled away from me, lying beside me. I realized this bed was a lot bigger than my one in Forks.

"Wait," My damn mouth! "I want to do something first." It needs to be taped up!

"Oh… well, what is it?" He asked.

"Will you…" I needed to shut up now, but I couldn't. It was impossible. "Will you kiss me?"

I heard his intake of breath, and watched as his hand roamed to find mine in the dark. We laid there in silence for a few minutes, before he rolled over to face me.

"You can do this?" He asked, placing a hand on my cheek. "You're not worried anymore?"

"I'm not." I shook my head, sure. "I've let go of Jacob. He isn't in our way anymore."

He took a deep breath and nodded. I watched his eyes explore my face, and then slowly drift down to my lips. I could barely control my breathing as he leaned in, only stopping a few inches before finally pressing his lips to mine.

My heart almost exploded in my chest and my organs turned to goo. His lips were soft on mine, just like I remembered from when we were pretending to date. There was a huge change in his energy, now – I knew that he wanted this just as much as I did, and he would anything to get it.

I couldn't believe we were making out in my Mother's house.

We both pulled away for much needed oxygen. I tried to quiet my breathing, but it was difficult in the silent house. He looked like he was doing the same.

We exchanged a shy smile, and he said, "That was absolutely worth the wait."

I nodded and sunk into his arms. He hugged me close to him and kissed my hair, letting me close my eyes and start to drift off to sleep. I could still feel Edward's lips on mine, which made sleep more difficult.

Let's just say, I barely slept that night.

* * *

The next day, we spent most of the day on the deck. Renee and Phil sipped on martinis and Beer while Edward and I settled for sparkling apple cider and Tropical flavored juice. I took plenty of pictures of all of us, for my scrapbook I got for my birthday. Like Renee and Phil, Edward and I couldn't stop looking at each other (or keep our hands off each other for more than five minutes). My Mom watched us carefully, assessing Edward's body language to give me a full report later.

In a way, I liked this more than the beach. Being at home, on our old deck, comforted me more than any beach could. It reminded me a little of the day I made the decision to move to Forks, when Renee and I sat in these very seats and discussed her happiness along with mine. Now, there was an addition to the scene – my… _boyfriend_. He had come out of my move from Forks, and I was so thankful I had decided to leave. Yes, I loved Phoenix and my family here, but there was nowhere more comforting than the unusually green forests and wetness of Forks.

"So, do you think you'll consider moving back in with your Mom?" Renee asked me, while Edward and Phil talked. Those two were really getting along.

"I'm kind of liking Forks." I smiled slightly, hoping I haven't hurt her feelings.

She looked back at Edward and then at me. With a roll of her eyes, she laughed. "Of course. I should have known you would never stay now."

I laughed and rested my head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Mom. You should come and visit us in Forks, sometime."

"I would like that. Maybe I'll get to come to your wedding soon."

"Mom!" I lightly slapped her arm.

She laughed and kissed the top of my head. "You know, I'm kidding sweetheart. I wouldn't want you getting married at this age, anyway."

Of course. Renee always had a problem with early marriage (only because she had married Charlie at my age). And now that I had a… boyfriend (it still felt weird saying that) she was even more hell bent on her point of _NO MARRIAGE BEFORE THE AGE OF TWENTY-FIVE_.

"I can't believe you're leaving tomorrow." Renee sighed, her voice turning sad and wistful. "I wish you could stay for longer."

"I know, Mom, I wish I could stay longer too." I sighed and wrapped my arms around her neck. She hugged my waist rocked slightly, while I was trying to hold in tears. I hadn't realized how much I had missed her until it was almost time to leave.

"Mom?" I whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I miss you."

Her grip on me tightened and she kissed my cheek. "I know, baby, and I miss you too."

* * *

The next afternoon, Edward and I boarded our plane back to Forks. We had spent the morning walking through Scottsdale with Renee and Phil, taking in the beautiful scenery that was Phoenix, Arizona. I couldn't lie when I said I didn't want to leave – I missed our friends and family in Forks.

"I'll talk to you soon, sweetie." Renee hugged me tightly. "Email or call me as soon as you get in, ok?"

"I will." I smiled. "I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, Bella."

We stepped away from each other and I quickly embraced Phil while Edward said his goodbyes to Renee. She told him to say hi to Esme for her, which he promised he would. I watched Edward and Phil shakes hands, and then we were on our way back home.

"Are you sad to leave?" Edward asked me, once our plane had taken off. He interlaced our fingers together and turned his head to look at me.

I shook my head. "No. I was happy to see my Mom."

He continued to watch me. "Won't you miss her?"

"Of course I will." I turned my head to look at him. "Is that why you brought me here? Because you were hoping my Mom would change my mind about you?"

"I'm always hoping for that." He sighed.

"But _why_?" I asked in confusion.

"Because I'm not good for you. I hurt the ones I love when I'm not careful, you know that better than anyone. And well, I'm just… plain _selfish._" He avoided my eyes.

"You're not selfish." I frowned. "Why would you think that?"

"Because I forced you to say goodbye to your best friend." He mumbled.

I grabbed onto his hands and held them in my own, trying my best to look into his eyes. "You didn't force me to do anything. _I _chose to say goodbye to Jacob… you didn't have any say in it. So please, don't feel guilty." I sighed. "And by the way, you are perfect for me. You've said it yourself… we make a good pair."

He smiled slightly. "I know we do. I don't think there's anything I could do to stop loving you now, anyway."

* * *

**Yes, I'm ending in another cute Edward line. I just love them too much!**

**This is the last chapter until next week. But I think I've done well, haven't I? **

**Drop me a review and let me know! (: **


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Sorry about not updating last week guys. I had to go overseas for a wedding… :O My bad. :/ **

**And ALSO… something has exploded in my knee! Yes, it sounds odd, but something called a 'bursa' or a 'burta' or something has ruptured! So now I can't walk =( Therefore, I might be able to update a little more while I'm bedridden… :D) YEAAAH ! **

**But, ok, not to be a downer, but I don't know how much longer this story can go on. Bella and Edward are together now. What more can I do with a story that was about Edward HATING Bella, when they are now a couple? Seriously. I guess I can stretch it out a little longer. But I'll see. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

"No, Bella, try again. I know you can do this."

I strained my tired eyes to peer down at the Spanish study notes Edward had made for me. No matter how hard we tried, or how long we sat here, I couldn't read this page long paragraph in Spanish.

"Come on, Bell…" Edward prompted me, his hand on my back.

I sighed. "Durante el verano, yo todavía estaba viviendo en Virginia. Había muchas tormentas del trueno allí. Mi madre es muy asustada del rayo. Ella siempre decía que no debo ir afuera durante una tormenta, pero yo nunca le escuchaba a ella. Un día, estaba lloviendo y mi amigo y yo estábamos…?" I frowned at the paper, and instantly knew I was going to fail my Spanish final.

"Come on. I know you know the rest." He looked at me, stroking my back and looking into my eyes. Maybe I couldn't read the rest because I was so distracted by him.

"I'm too tired. It's almost midnight." I shook my head and pushed the pieces of paper away. "You must be tired, too. I'm a lost cause when it comes to Spanish."

"It's just…" Edward sighed and shook his head. He just didn't want to admit I sucked. "It doesn't matter. Let's go to sleep. We can try again in the morning."

I shoved my textbooks into my bag and turned to him. He looked back at me, smiling crookedly and charmingly.

"Actually, I don't want to go to sleep yet." He declared, moving his chair closer to mine and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "I'm not tired."

"Neither am I." I smiled and looked at him, our faces inches apart. "What would you rather do?"

"Well…" He chuckled and leaned in to kiss me. I met him half way, pressing my lips to his softly. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer, deepening our kiss until I could barely breathe.

It was him that realized kissing each other in the middle of my kitchen was not a good idea. "Want to move this upstairs?"

I blushed and nodded. I left my Spanish stuff on the table and walked upstairs with him, our fingers entwined and our bodies close together. Charlie had gone to bed awhile ago, and I told him Edward would leave as soon as we were finished studying for the night. It was a good thing Charlie wasn't a light sleeper.

Edward quickly shut the door behind him and then turned to face me. I practically ran for him, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms hanging off his neck. He caught me, laughing and swinging me around, being careful not to hold me too tight. He treated me like I was made of glass, most of the time – never kissing me too deeply, never holding my hand too hard. It frustrated me; I mean, did I really look that weak? Sure, I fall over easily, and I hurt myself all the time…

"If we make any more noise, Charlie is going to come in here and rip my head off." Edward chuckled, putting me down and taking my hand. He led me over to my bed and sat us both down, side by side. "It's late. We should be getting some sleep for school tomorrow."

I groaned. Yes, I was in my final year of high school, but I was done with it. Whenever the word 'school' was mentioned, I instantly complained. And Edward knew it.

"C'mon, love, it's not that bad. It's our excuse to spend the whole day together without any questions." He kissed my forehead and lightly pushed me back. I leaned against the head board, my arms folded. He unfolded my arms. "Now, let's go to sleep."

_We won't be sleeping,_ I thought to myself. _It's been a month since we first became a couple, and we don't ever get to sleep when he's in my room. _

"Right." I scoffed as he crawled over to me. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me to his chest, kissing my hair. "Sleep."

"We're are both going to close our eyes and not make another sound until morning." Edward whispered, and closed his eyes. I kept mine open, watching his perfection with awe and adoration.

He cracked an eye open and smiled. "I don't see your eyes closed."

"Because I can't." I blushed a little and buried my face into his shoulder. "I can't close my eyes when you're lying next to me. You'll disappear."

"I'm not going anywhere." He has told me this a hundred times, but I never get over hearing it. It meant too much to me. "So you can trust me. I'll still be here when you wake up."

"If you're sure." I leaned up to kiss him lightly. I then rolled over and closed my eyes, smiling. "Goodnight, Edward."

* * *

"Emmett and Rosalie invited us to their place this afternoon." Alice announced, during lunch the next day. "Apparently they have big news."

"I'm betting Emmett proposed." Edward threw in, taking a bite of his apple. "He's been on cloud nine all week."

"I think Rosalie is pregnant." Alice interjected. "I mean seriously. Those two are in an apartment on their own, every single night… what else is there to do?"

Edward and I looked at each other with raised eye brows.

"I'm going with Alice." I smiled at Edward. "Because you should never bet against Alice."

Alice giggled and leaned across the table to kiss my cheek. "Damn right, Bell. You'd think my brother would have learned that by now."

"You'd think." Edward shook his head at Alice and I. "But I'm never going to back down against a pixie. Emmett would tease me for life."

Now Alice leaned over the table to slap Edward across the cheek the way she often does. As usual, everyone in the cafeteria stared, suspecting a screaming match about to be started or a punch up between brother and sister. Little did they know, Edward and Alice actually adored each other.

"So Jazz is going to pick us up and takes us there." Alice continued.

"Sounds good." Edward nodded and threw his apple into the trash can beside us. "I have some extra homework to do. Will you come with me, Bella?"

"And leave Alice?" I looked over at Alice, who was smirking. She seemed to have no problem with us leaving her. I looked up at Edward. "Sure, I'll come with you."

We both stood up and grabbed our bags from the back of our chairs. Alice grinned and pulled out homework of her own, and got straight to work. The student body watched Edward and I leave (naturally), and we headed to our biology classroom.

"Do you really have homework to do?" I asked, once we had arrived and sat at _our _table. "Or was that just an excuse to get out of the cafeteria?"

"A bit of both." He shrugged. I noticed he didn't get out any homework. "I guess I just wanted to be alone with you."

"We're alone every night, in my bedroom." I smiled and leaned my head against my hand. "We couldn't be _more _alone."

"True." He chuckled and grabbed a lock of my hair. He twirled it around his fingers, examining it as he went. "But I guess it's just not enough, sometimes."

"Getting a little greedy, are we?" I laughed.

"I told you I'm a selfish creature." He smiled crookedly and leaned his face close to mine. "You can't blame me. I spent five months alongside you, never being able to touch you or hold you like I do now."

My heart thumped harder in my chest at his words, and at his growing proximity. I could never prepare myself for the feel of his lips on mine, or his hands around my waist – how could I? He always managed to surprise me.

He kissed my gently at first, but as usual, it eventually grew more fevered. He pulled me closer to his body and deepened the kiss, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I had no more free will. He _owned _me at this moment.

It didn't matter that we were in a biology classroom, at our school… because all that mattered was that we were the only ones here. No other students, no teachers, could interrupt this moment.

I was just reveling in the fact that the door was closed.

"Class starts in five minutes…" He mumbled against my lips, but I barely heard him. I only pulled him closer and tangled my fingers in his hair, unable to put together a sentence nor a thought.

"Bella." He gently pulled my arms from around his neck. "We have to stop, as much as it pains me."

I sighed and leaned away from him. I could hear voices getting closer to our classroom, which meant class was about to begin, just like Edward had said.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I really am." Edward held my hand tightly on the table. He was clearly afraid he had offended me. "I just don't think the other students would want to walk in on…"

He trailed off as people started filing into our class room. They all watched us suspiciously, obviously confused – why else would we, Bella Swan and Edward Cullen (or, as we are known: 'the Golden Couple') be in an empty classroom, with no homework on the table? Even I'd be suspicious.

They eventually lost interest and focused on the teacher. I let out a sigh of relief and leaned closer to Edward. I whispered: "Why do we always get interrupted? It's either your sister or fifteen Forks High students."

He held his hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing. "I agree. We need to find somewhere more quiet."

I nodded in agreement. "I couldn't agree more. Maybe this afternoon, after Rosalie and Emmett's… ?"

"It's date." He smiled and squeezed my hand tighter. "My place. Seven-thirty. We'll 'study' extra hard."

Now it was my turn to laugh.

* * *

After school, only Jasper picked us up just like we'd planned. He drove us to Emmett and Rosalie's apartment, which was closer to Port Angeles than it was to Forks. I had only been there twice in the past month, having spent most of my time at my house or the Cullen's. It was simple, just like Rosalie and Emmett. In other words, just what they needed.

Jasper parked just outside, and we all walked in together. Emmett and Rosalie were waiting for us when we stepped out of the elevator, both grinning widely. I knew this was going to be good news.

The inside of their apartment was stylish – Alice and Esme had helped design it, after all. It had the same color scheme as the Cullen house, only because that is where Rosalie and Emmett felt the most comfortable. Carlisle had given them a piece from his art collection to hang up, as a symbol of togetherness; though we were all growing up and separating, we would always be a family. I thought it was comforting, especially when going out into the open, wide world.

Rosalie made us all iced tea and sat us down in the living room. We all were waiting anxiously for the news by the time Emmett and Rosalie sat across from us, holding hands.

"Well… what is it?" Jasper asked after minutes of silence. "I'm going crazy here!"

"Rosalie's pregnant!" Emmett exploded, his grin widening until lit almost touched his eyes. Rosalie made a small squealing sound and squeezed Emmett's hand.

"What?" We all gasped.

A grin spread across my face and I jumped up to hug Emmett and Rosalie. "Oh my God! Congratulations, guys!"

"Ha!" I heard Alice exclaim from behind me. "I was right! Suck on that, Edward!"

"Huh?" I heard Jasper asked.

"Well, Edward and I bet on what the news was. I said Rosalie was going to be pregnant, and Edward said Emmett proposed. But I was right!"

Emmett and Rosalie laughed.

"I told you not to bet against Alice." I grinned at Edward and kissed his cheek. I returned my attention back to the happy couple. "That's really great, guys."

"I know!" Rose clapped her hands together and grinned at Emmett. "I have always wanted a child, but I had never guessed we'd _actually _have one!"

"Well, we all know who you're going to name it after, right?" Alice asked, stepping forward and hugging Rose and Emmett. "Alice Junior. I like it."

"Very funny, Alice, but we all know Emmett wants to name his child after his best friend." Edward chuckled, shaking Emmett's hand and hugging Rosalie. "Congratulations, you two."

"Thanks, bro!" Emmett couldn't seem to hold in his excitement. He was talking louder than usual and the smile refused to disappear off his face. "Maybe I'll name my kid Alice-Edward-Bella-Jasper Junior."

"I like it." Rosalie laughed and shook her head. "Maybe you will all end up being his godparents."

"He?" I asked, smiling. "You guys are already hoping for a boy?"

"Kind of." Rosalie smiled, touching her stomach.

"Well, I would love to have a cute little godchild named Alice-Edward-Bella-Jasper Junior." Alice shrilled, and then giggled. "I can imagine the cute little outfits now…"

"Alice." I looked at her. "The baby is barely the size of a jellybean yet, and you're already imagining little baby booties."

"Of course!" Alice gasped. "Nine months is barely long enough to style a wardrobe. I am so behind!" She looked at Rosalie. "How far along are you?"

"Three weeks." Rosalie nodded.

"Oh no!" Alice shrieked. "Time is already running out!"

We all shook our head at her. Alice is so silly sometimes.

"Have you told your parents yet?" Edward asked, still shaking his head at his sister.

"Yes." Emmett grinned and wrapped his arm around Rosalie's waist. "Both our parents were delighted. Although Rose's Dad looked like he was just about ready to kill me."

"I don't blame him." I laughed. "But I'm sure they're happy to have their first grandchild, right?"

"Sure." Emmett nodded. "But a little pissed the little guy is going to be a bas –"

"Emmett." Rosalie glared at him, but the smile hadn't quite dissolved. "We've talked about that, and we both agreed it doesn't matter."

"You're right." Emmett nodded and looked at the rest of us. "So… have you got anything planned tonight?"

"We do." Edward piped up. "Bella and I have a study date at seven-thirty."

To be honest, I had totally forgotten about our date in the excitement of Rosalie's pregnancy. "Yeah, we do."

"Well, don't let us stop you…" Alice grinned and winked at Edward. "We'd better be off. Come, Emmett and Rosalie! We have to tell Carlisle and Esme! They'll be thrilled!"

We all loaded into Jasper's car and drove back to the Cullen house. Edward and I stuck around to see Carlisle and Esme's reaction to Rosalie and Emmett's news (Which was ecstatic, might I add) and then we ducked upstairs to 'study'.

"I refuse to study Spanish again, because I fail." I mumbled, pulling my calculus homework from my bag.

"So… you fail at Spanish, but not at calculus?" Edward asked, going to work on his French homework. "That's doesn't make much sense, you know."

I laughed and looked down at my notebook, tapping my pencil. Ok. Looks like I'm going to fail at calculus, too. I didn't really care about things like the distance covered by Achilles or the tortoise's speed, so it was hard to focus. My eyes kept on drifting to my right, where Edward sat, mumbling in French to himself.

"Bella, I'm finding it hard to concentrate when you keep on gazing upon me." Edward smiled crookedly and leant his head on his hand. I quickly blushed and looked down, still tapping my pencil against my notepad. "I haven't been able to concentrate at all, now that I think about it."

I bit my lip. "Me either."

"Let's forget it, then." He pushed his paper and pen off the desk, sending it flying halfway across the room. I watched with wide eyes, fascinated and astounded at the same time. He just laughed and shoved my stuff off after his. "Better?"

"_A lot _better." I grinned and crawled onto his lap, fastening my hands around his neck.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against him, leaning our heads together. "Studying is overrated."

"Agreed."

He chuckled and kissed my cheek. "How did I ever live my days not being able to hug you like I do?"

"I wonder the same thing, sometimes." I smiled and crossed my ankles, nervously twitching my shoes together. "But then again, I loved you from the moment I saw you. Well, I didn't realize it at the time, but I knew it later."

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, lightly touching his nose to my temple. "If you had only have told me… ?"

"You didn't like me like that. I could tell. If I had just come out and confessed my love for you randomly, you would not have loved me back. Sometimes I don't think you do."

His smile immediately shrank off his face and was replaced with a deep frown. "What do you mean, 'you don't think I do'? Do I not treat you fairly? Do I not kiss you enough? Oh God, what have I done –"

"Shh. I didn't mean it like that." My frown turned to match his. "I just meant that sometimes, your love for me is too good to be true. Maybe you're just trying to return the feelings because you don't want to hurt me. I've seen it happen before. Hell, I've done it myself, with Jacob –"

"Bella," He interrupted me, shaking his head. He looked bewildered, anxious; disgusted. "How can you even begin to think that? After all that has happened in the past month, with my family, with everything –"

"I'm not saying I don't believe you. I know you wouldn't lie to me –" I stopped myself short. I was already contradicting myself – He _has _lied to me. Many, many times. I just couldn't see past that right now. I couldn't force myself to say he hadn't.

His expression went from angry to pained. "Bella, please, don't… bring that up…"

"I'm sorry. I can't help it. It was a big part of my life, and I find it hard to see past it, sometimes." Wrong thing to say. He buried his face in my hair to hide his face. "Hey, look, I didn't mean it like that. I forgave you a long time ago. What I mean is, -"

"You can't trust me?" He cocked his head up. "Is that it?"

"No! Stop putting words in my mouth, Edward." I lightly swatted him in the shoulder. He didn't smile. I sighed. "Just because I forgave you for lying to me all that while ago, it doesn't mean it's going to magically disappear from my mind. I won't forget. Well, not any time soon anyway. And… you need to deal with that. It's not going to go away."

"There are so many things I _want…_" He said suddenly, looking past me at something on his dresser. I watched him carefully, surveying the emotions flashing across his face. It was as if I wasn't there, just a doll sitting in his arms. Like he was talking to himself. "I have hopes. And dreams. So many."

"You can have dreams, Edward, but at least pick one." I realized my voice sounded needy and pleading. I was scared of what he was going to say.

"Fine. I choose you." His voice was now sure and defiant. He wrapped me up in his arms once again, as if a show of victory, and hid his face in my neck, placing light kisses along my collarbone from shoulder to shoulder. I stifled a moan – how did we go from being angry at each other, to confessing things, to _this_?

"You and only you. You forever. There is no other _you_." He mumbled against my skin. "Never forget that."

I found it hard to remember _anything _when his head was at my neck. "O-ok. I'll remember."

He chuckled and wound a lock of my hair around his smallest finger. I wondered what he was doing, until he lifted it to his nose and inhaled deeply. "God, you smell good, Bella."

He was going to make me go crazy if he didn't stop saying such charming things. How did this boy do it? Why couldn't I do that? Why wasn't _Mike _that smooth? "Thank you?"

He shook his head. "That's it. I can't wait any longer." And then he leaned in and kissed me, and I was gone.

This has happened so many times, for us, and yet I couldn't get over the feeling – the feeling of floating in the clouds, which did not permit anyone besides the two of us. His light touch and sweet scent enticed me to the point of deliriousness; how was I supposed to be able to make rational decisions when he was kissing me? Our family and friends could have been murdered downstairs and we would not have known. How could anyone compete with him?

He rolled us over and then hovered over me, leaning against me but not to the point of suffocation. I wondered how he was so confident doing this with his parents and best friends right downstairs – what if one of them saw us?

"Edward," I managed to rip my mouth from his and take a deep breath before speaking. "Your parents… they're… downstairs…"

"Right," He shook his head, as if he were in a trance. "Of course. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault." I panted, looking down and realizing his hand was resting on my thigh. Once he realized I had noticed he quickly removed it and straightened out his shirt for a distraction. "Anyway, it's getting late. We should probably…"

"Yeah." He nodded and scrambled off me, suddenly shy. "Uh, would you like me to drive you home?"

"Um, yeah, that would be good…" I mumbled, jumping off his bed and almost falling flat on my face. Edward quickly caught my arm with a smile and helped me collect my study material. I shoved them into my bag and quickly headed downstairs, trying not to seem suspicious.

"_Hello _you two," Emmett grinned, as we walked into the kitchen. Esme and Carlisle stood at the stove, preparing dinner, and Alice and Jasper sat on the bench across.

"Hi, Emmett." Edward mumbled and looked over at his parents. "You guys heard the news?"

"Oh yes!" Esme spun around and threw her arms around Rosalie, who happened to be standing behind her. "Isn't it wonderful! I'm going to be a grandmother!"

"Not yet, mom." Alice giggled from across the kitchen, winking at Jasper. I saw Carlisle shoot Jasper a deathly look.

"Who knows, Esme, you might be a getting a _biological _grandchild soon." Emmett winked at Edward and I and folded his arms. "_Very, very _soon."

"Oh." Esme smiled uncomfortably, not meeting Edward nor I's eyes.

"Emmett shut that hole in your face you call a mouth." Edward hissed, and quickly wrapped an arm around me. "I'm taking Bella home. I'll be back later." He quickly led me out of the kitchen, rolling his eyes.

"That was awkward." I grumbled as he started up the Volvo and backed out of the garage.

"I'm sorry, again." Edward smiled apologetically and sped into the night. "You know how Emmett can be. It doesn't help Esme has an overactive imagination."

I stifled a giggle. "Well… have they forgotten we're only eighteen?"

"Obviously." He shot me a quick look. "Well, Emmett and Rosalie are only nineteen."

I raised my eye brows and looked into the dark night outside. Frost was forming on the windows, the result of winter. Shocked, I realized it was Christmas in a week and a half.

Edward pulled up outside my house and cut the engine, turning to me. "I apologize for getting no studying done. I guess I got distracted, and then I distracted you…"

"Don't be sorry." I smiled shyly and tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear. "What we did was better than studying, anyway." Did I really just say that out loud?

"_Definitely_." Edward smirked and gave me a quick peck on the lips. "Well, I guess I'll see you later."

"You will." I kissed him again and grabbed my bag, throwing open the door and running to my porch through the rain. I didn't look back in fear I'd walk in more flushed than I already was.

"Hey, Bells." Charlie said from the couch as I shut the front door behind me. "How was studying?"

"Um…" I mumbled. "Good. Yeah."

"I ordered some extra pizza for you. It's on the kitchen counter."

"Oh, thanks."

I went into the kitchen and saw the stone cold pizza. I quickly heated it up and took it up to my room, barely tasting it as I scoffed it down.

"Hungry?"

"Ah!" I jumped a foot in the air, almost sending my pizza flying. Edward stood against my windowsill, smiling like a God. "I swear, you're getting faster."

"Oh yeah?" He smiled and sat on my bed. "I was going to go home, you know, grab some food, but I couldn't stand being away from you for more than half an hour."

I smiled and shook my head, handing him the plate of pizza. "You're unbelievable."

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**I need your guy's help on something. As I mentioned pretty subtly in this chapter, it is getting close to Christmas. In America, how long is your winter break? It would be helpful for the story, thanks =) **

**Please review! **


	28. Chapter 28

**Thank you for the info on American winter holidays, guys (: it helped a lot! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight! : ( **

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"Merry Christmas, Bella." Edward whispered quietly into my ear, on the chilly morning of the 25th of December. We had been waiting for this day since school finished, three days ago.

I pulled the covers up to my chin and snuggled deeper into my pillow. "Merry Christmas."

He chuckled and kissed my hair. "I need to go. Charlie isn't going anywhere this morning, and I need to be home with my family."

I nodded. "Ok. Bye." I didn't move from my warm cocoon to say goodbye. I heard him force the window open against the frost, and lightly jump out, heading to his Volvo in the next street over. I still didn't move from my bed for what seemed like an eternity.

"Bella!" Charlie slowly opened my door, grinning like a mad man. He had always liked Christmas. "Merry Christmas, baby!"

I smiled and pushed myself onto my elbows to face him. "Merry Christmas, Dad. You're up early."

"Of course I am. It's Christmas." He grinned and shuffled into my room, closing the door lightly behind him and padding over to my bed in his wooly socks. This house was freezing. "We're heading over to the Cullen's place in an hour. Wear something nice. It's your first Christmas here since you were seven!"

"I know, Dad, you have been saying that for the past week and a half." I laughed and forced my stiff legs out of bed. As soon as I was out of the covers, I wanted to dive back in. I really needed to persuade Charlie to get the AC working.

"I know, I'm just excited." He turned around and walked back out of my room. "Remember, be ready in an hour!"

I quickly hurried around my room, grabbing items of clothing and throwing them on, looking for warmth. Though it was Christmas, I didn't wear anything special – only jeans, a long sleeve flannel t-shirt, and then a thick-woolen jacket. I grabbed my gloves and ran downstairs, eager to see Edward and our friends and family once again.

Charlie and I had decorated the house a month early (mostly because of Charlie's excitement). We both set up and decorated the Christmas tree, and then lined the banisters with tinsel and fairy lights. He still had his wreath he bought with Renee almost twenty years ago, so we hung that on the front door. Our home looked the most Christmas-y house on the street.

"Wow, Dad." Before I had barely set foot at the bottom of the steps, he was handing me a poorly wrapped gift. I couldn't help smiling. "You shouldn't have."

"I had to." He grinned. "Open it."

I ripped the paper open, to reveal a large white coffee mug. Around the edges, it read: 'The World's Best Daughter.'

I hugged Charlie immediately and kissed his cheek. "I love it, Dad, thanks."

"I'm glad." He chuckled and let me go.

I quickly ducked to the Christmas tree to grab his present. I returned and handed it to him. "Merry Christmas, Dad, I hope you like it."

He grinned and opened it. I had bought him a fishing navigation system just yesterday, seeing as it took two weeks to come in. Usually, I wouldn't have gone to so much trouble, but I knew he wanted this. And I had used part of my college fund to buy it for him.

"Gee, Bells, thanks!" He examined it immediately, an excited glint in his eye. "It's great!"

"I'm glad you like it." I smiled happily and stuck my hands into my pockets. "But we need to have breakfast before we go to the Cullen's. We don't want to be late."

"Right." He followed me to the kitchen, where I prepared a small breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast. We both knew Esme would be preparing a delicious meal right about now, and neither of us wanted to fill up on food beforehand. We finished quickly and headed out the door, to Charlie's cruiser.

"Are you sure you don't want to take my truck?" I asked him, reluctant to get into the cruiser which I despised so much.

"Bella. Your truck isn't good with the cold, and I didn't put any snow tires on this morning." Damn. He had me there. Looks like I'm going to have to ride in the police-mobile.

The snow-rain beat against the windshield as we drove. I cursed these horrible conditions – rain _and _ice? Winter was out to kill me. I knew I would not survive today without at least _one _fall.

I learnt that getting out of Charlie's cruiser. As I sat my foot down on the concrete on the Cullen driveway, my foot slipped from under me, and I landed flat on my butt. Charlie quickly rushed around to help me up, because I knew I couldn't to do it myself without falling over again.

"You ok?" He asked, not letting me go until I was perfectly upright.

"Ice _does not _help the uncoordinated." I got up rubbing my lower back. "But yeah, I'm good. Thanks."

He kept a hand on my elbow as we walked up the steps of the porch and knocked on the door. It flung open the first moment we knocked, revealing Esme, Carlisle, Edward, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett.

"_Merry Christmas Swans_!" Emmett exclaimed, wearing a ridiculous Santa outfit. He pulled me into a hug and swung me around.

"Merry Christmas, Emmett." I laughed as he put me down. Charlie was embracing and shaking hands with the others, a huge smile on his face.

"Have you been naughty or nice, Bella?" Emmett asked me, raising his eyes brows suggestively.

I rolled my eyes. "Nice, Em, and you know it."

"Bell!" Alice jumped me next, wearing reindeer antlers. I immediately laughed. "I'm not gonna say Merry Christmas, because I've already said a million times and it's only 10:42."

"Ok. I'll say it. Merry Christmas, Aly!"

I realized each of my friends were wearing Christmas ornaments. Rosalie wore dangly Christmas bauble earrings, Jasper has a bright red Rudolph nose, and Edward wore an elf hat. I almost fell over laughing when I saw him.

"What? Is something on my face?" He asked, grinning like a fool as he wrapped his arms around me.

"No, but there _is _something on your head." I laughed into his shoulder.

"I think it's going to be the latest style." Edward smirked and kissed my cheek. I realized Charlie stood behind us, in too good spirits to glare at anyone because of physical contact. I took the opportunity to kiss Edward back, but only his cheek. I didn't want to push it.

After our greetings, Esme and Carlisle led us into the living room where the parents of Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie gathered. Charlie sat down and started up conversation with them, and my friends and I decided to go upstairs until it was time for the present-opening.

"_Soo_." Emmett smiled at me. "What'd you get from Charlie?"

"A 'Best Daughter in the World' mug." I laughed and shook my head. "I think he ran out of ideas, but it's the thought that counts. I love it."

"That's adorable." Edward smiled crookedly.

"What'd your parents get you guys?" I asked them.

"My parents gave me a diamond necklace and baby's crib." Rosalie smiled softly, her hand in Emmett's.

"My parents gave me socks." Jasper mumbled, causing us all to burst out laughing.

"Daddy got me another credit card." Alice chimed, beaming. _Just what she needs._

"Mom and Dad are going to paint the baby's room for us." Emmett smiled, wrapping his arm around Rosalie's waist. "That's their gift to me, apparently."

"Mom and Dad gave me a piano." Edward added. _Oh, he'll like that – _

"Wait, what?" I gasped. "A piano? Like, a big, expensive, _second _–"

"Yes, Bella." Edward chuckled and kissed my temple. "But we're getting rid of the other one. They figured I wanted and needed a new one, sooner or later. It's on the truck from Seattle as we speak."

I was gob smacked. Here was Jasper, getting socks for Christmas and Edward was getting a piano. I mean, _wow. _I realized I sounded like a brat, and my thoughts came screeching to a stop.

"Family present time!" We all heard Esme screech from downstairs, and everyone got up excitedly and began walking downstairs. Edward hung back with me.

"Is that what you guys do every Christmas? Have 'family present time'?" I asked him, warmed by the sweetness of it. My Christmas' with Renee and Phil had been ordinary; yes, I loved spending the holidays with them, but it wasn't like this. It was never a huge event with twenty people and a hearty meal – In fact, Renee always attempted some kind of foreign Christmas dish. I missed ham and mash potatoes, like we were getting tonight. And I miss Family Present Time.

"Yes." He led me downstairs, where everyone was crouched around the Christmas tree. I smiled at the scene before me – the happy faces, who waited until we had sat down with them until they passed around their gifts. Edward and I sat beside Charlie as we exchanged gifts.

"Oh Bella, I love it." Edward smiled as he opened my gift to him.

I had gotten him a new box to hold all of our memories in. His current wooden box was getting full, and I knew we would have a lots of new memories to come. "I thought the other box was for our… past. This one can be for a future."

"Thank you." He wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed my forehead. "Open my gift."

I opened the small rectangular box he gave me and smiled. It was gold necklace with a petite chain, and a thin heart shaped ornament on the end. Inscribed in the middle was, _E + B_.

"Thank you so much!" I threw my arms around his neck. "I'll never take it off!"

He chuckled and let go of me so he could put it on. He fastened it around my neck and examined it, smiling to himself. "It looks gorgeous on you, just like I'd thought."

I received and gave my gifts to the rest of our friends and family. My gifts for Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper's parents were small, only because I knew them vaguely. I gave Alice a designer scarf I had spent half of my college fund on, I gave Emmett and Rosalie an adorable baby jump suit I had seen at the mall, and I gave Jasper an old Civil War book I knew he wanted. They all seemed to enjoy their gifts very much, and I enjoyed there's. Alice gave a necklace she had made for me when we were seven, just after I left. It was so cute with its large, red beads, and my name in big letters across the middle. Emmett gave me a 'I'll Be Your Slave For One Day' card, which I found hilarious. Rosalie gave me a CD she has created for me (I had found out we had similar tastes in music, so we tended to swap albums and songs), and Jasper gave me a cowboy hat (as a gag, apparently… he said it might come in hand with Edward, whatever that means…) Overall, I loved my haul of presents this year.

"Who's hungry?" Esme asked us, smiling sweetly.

The whole room erupted in cheers and we all got up and headed to the kitchen. I could smell more than one delicious aroma flowing around the house by now, which made my stomach rumble. The huge dining room table was a beautiful array of red, green and white – Christmas colors. We were free to sit anywhere, so the adults sat at one end and the rest of us sat at the other. We all quickly went to work at filling our plates with ham, potatoes, beans, peas and gravy.

"This looks amazing, Esme!" I yelled up the table, trying to be heard over the hum of conversation.

"Thank you, dear!" She called back with an adoring smile.

"Man!" Emmett cheered happily. "Look at this spread!"

"Edward, Alice, your mother is a goddess." Rosalie chuckled as she hurried into her food. I guessed she was feeding two mouths now.

"Sure is." Alice grinned. She still wore her reindeer antlers, which never failed to make me smile at the best of times. "What were your Christmases like in Phoenix, Bell?"

"Nothing like this." I shook my head. "Phil didn't like Christmas, and Renee wasn't the best cook."

"I remember that." Edward chuckled. We both looked at each other, and at the same time said, "Chocolate candles!"

"Oh Renee," I shook my head again. "How did my poor mother survive without me or Phil?"

"I remember Renee well." Alice mused, from across the table. "She was always so kind and light hearted. She has a great sense of humor, too."

"Do you miss her, Bella?" Rosalie asked me, tearing a piece of bread and dipping it in gravy.

"Of course I do." I mumbled, mostly to myself. "But I don't regret my decision of leaving her. I think I did the right thing."

Edward squeezed my knee under the table.

"You sure have, Belly, because if you hadn't of come, our friend Eddie here would not have found someone to –"

"_Emmett…_" Edward warned.

"I _meant_," Emmett rolled his eyes. "Edward wouldn't have found someone to love. We're grateful for that, right guys?"

"Yeah!" They all agreed.

Jasper continued Emmett's speech. "We've known him for ten years now, and never have we seen him so happy. We see the light in his eyes, the look he gets whenever he sees you… and it makes us happy, too."

I had tears in my eyes. "Thank you, Jasper, Emmett. That means a lot to me."

"No, _thank you _Bella." Jasper smiled sincerely and ducked his head like a Southern gentlemen.

"Why do you guys talk about me like I'm not here?" Edward teased, looking at Emmett and Jasper with tears in his own eyes, though he would never admit it.

"Sorry, Edward." Jasper and Emmett chorused.

Edward smiled crookedly and wrapped his arm around my waist. He placed a light kiss on my jawbone and turned back to face the others and eat his food.

"Anyway," Alice clapped her hands. "How about a Christmas sleepover?"

"I don't know, Al. I think Charlie is going to want me home tonight, you know, for post Christmas celebrations."

"Then we'll go to your house." Alice shrugged easily. "Clean and simple. We can all hang out with Charlie, at least until he goes to sleep. Then the real Christmas sleepover will begin!"

"I don't know, Alice. I've got things to do tonight. I have to call Renee, and –"

"That'll take you, what, ten minutes?" Alice persisted relentlessly. "C'mon, Bella. We haven't had a sleepover in ages."

I gawked. "We had one last week!"

"Yes, but that was _ages _ago now."

We all laughed at Alice's absurdity. I knew we were going to end up giving up in the end, so what was the point of arguing anymore? "Ok, ok. We can have a damn sleepover."

"Yay!" Alice squealed and almost flung mashed potato into Jasper's face. "Party at Bella's!"

"Alice, don't get carried away…" Edward warned his sister. "It's not going to be a _party_. It's going to be a quiet sleepover for Bella to spend time with her family at Christmas time."

Alice sighed. "Fine. But don't think we won't stay up extra late."

In a few minutes, Esme served us all mouth watering chocolate pudding. We all devoured it in two seconds, even after our large main course. We all became sleepy and tired after dessert, our stomachs full and ready for a nap. Charlie approved of the others coming over, but he warned us to be too loud or stay up too late. We agreed, though knew none of this would actually end up happening.

We all left the Cullen's around four and headed back to my house (After thanking Esme and Carlisle, of course). We were in no hurry to take down the Christmas decorations yet, so Charlie lumbered towards the TV and my friends and I headed up to my room, at least to put our presents upstairs. I wasn't planning on calling Renee for a few hours, because she would probably be busy preparing dinner. You know, the time differences and all that.

"_So,_" Emmett mumbled, collapsing onto my bed with a loud thump. "This is some Christmas party, Alice."

"Hush, Emmett, I didn't realized we'd be so tired." Alice sighed, sitting down next to him with a much lighter thump. "I'm sure we'll feel better after Bella calls her… Mom…"

I waited about two hours before I called Renee. The others were beginning to dose upstairs, so I hoped to make it quick before they fell asleep. I noticed Charlie was snoring on the couch.

"Merry Christmas, sweetie." Renee said, on the first ring. The usual spark and happiness in her voice was still present, but not quite as strong as usual. She sounded a little down.

I smiled slightly. "Merry Christmas, Mom. How has your day been?"

"I miss you… being here at Christmas time…" She sighed, and her voice cracked on the last word. Was she ok? What was wrong with her?

"Mom, what's wrong?" I asked her. She shouldn't be this sad – I was there, what, two weeks ago? We had had a small pre-Christmas celebration, anyway. It wasn't the same, but it was better than nothing.

"N-nothing is wrong." She mumbled. "I'm just missing you."

"Mom…" I didn't believe her. "Something else is bothering you. Tell me what it is so I can help."

"Well…" She took a deep breath. "This morning, it was all going well. Phil and I got up bright and early and went to have some breakfast at a deli around the corner. He was explaining that he had to go away the next day, for some baseball seminar, thing. I don't know." She sighed again. I didn't like where this was going. "And I got a little angry. I mean, why does he need to go away on _Boxing Day_? We had a whole day planned, too. He retaliated and said it wasn't his fault, and that I shouldn't blame him. It made me angrier. Oh, I don't know what came over me, Bella but now…" I could hear she was almost in tears. It pained me to hear poor Renee so upset like this.

I hid around the corner to give us a little privacy. "What now?"

"He left. He told me he doesn't know when he'll be back."

I knew she would be crying by now. I could hear her sniffling behind the phone. I had to find a way to reassure her without upsetting her more. "Re – I mean, Mom, he'll be back soon. I promise you. He can't be without you for long."

"Well, that mustn't be the case, because he's been gone for _hours, _Bella _hours_!" She cried. "And it's almost eight-thirty. What do I do? I don't know whether to go and find him, and just leave him be, or call him, or –"

"I'm sure he just needs some time." I tried to calm her down. "Men are strange like that. He'll come back after he cools down, I promise."

"But what if he doesn't? Oh God, what will I do?"

"Mom, calm down… stop making this situation worse than it is." She often did this. Poor Renee. "Couples go through this sort of thing all the time. Worse. It'll get better."

"Ok, if you're sure…" She mumbled. "I guess I should let you go. Charlie is probably demanding dinner."

"Oh no, Mom, we went to the Cullens for Christmas lunch. Neither of us will be eating anymore tonight. Esme made so much food I thought I was going to explode."

"It sounds like you had a wonderful Christmas." I could hear her smiling behind the phone. "Your present is in the mail. Sorry it's late, I didn't realize that it wouldn't get there in the same day."

"It's ok. I got lots of good stuff already, anyway."

"That's great." I could tell she was still down about Phil. I would talk to her all night if I had to.

"What did you get?"

"P-Phil gave me a beautiful necklace from Tiffany's." Renee said.

"Wow. Nice." I nodded. "Edward gave me a necklace, too."

"Oh! How sweet of him."

"Yeah… but hey, Mom, I gotta go. Everyone is upstairs, probably collapsed in my room. I'll call you again tomorrow morning."

"Ok, sweetie. I love you. Merry Christmas."

"Love you too. Merry Christmas."

I hung up the phone and hurried upstairs. Like I expected, everyone was fast asleep in various spots around my room. Emmett and Alice were on the bed. Rosalie was leaning against the wall. Jasper was next to her. And Edward was leaning against the bed. I quietly tip-toed across the floor boards and leaned next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. He managed to wrap an arm around my shoulders and pull me closer, readjusting so his head leaned against mine.

"How was Renee?" He mumbled sleepily.

"Not good. Phil left this morning."

"What?" He asked. "Like, _left-left_? Not coming back?"

"I hope he's coming back. They had an argument and he walked out."

"That's horrible. And on Christmas, too." He kissed my hair. "I'm sure he'll come back soon."

"I hope so."

And I hoped. And I hoped.

But he never came back.

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	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews guys (: It means a looooot (: **

**A few more chapters to go. But…. I've decided on a sequel! XD I'm excited already! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

* * *

Renee called me two days later to tell me Phil had _still _not come home. She had tried contacting him, or his friends, but no one knew where he was. Charlie and I tried to calm her, telling her he must just be in a hotel somewhere, thinking things through. She didn't become any more calm.

"Anything?" Charlie and I asked over the phone, on the 30th of December.

"Nothing!" Renee wailed hysterically. "I'm going to call the police. I can't take this anymore."

"Renee… involving the police in a case like this is a big deal." _The _Chief of Police said into the phone, his ex-husband roll dropping into his authority's one. "You should treat this carefully."

"I've been treating this carefully for the past four days, Charlie!" Renee retorted. "I don't care what you say, I'm calling the police to look for him. And that's final." She hung up.

Charlie and I looked at each other, worried.

"We can't order her around." Charlie said finally. "She's a grown woman, and she can make her own choices. We have to respect that."

I nodded and walked upstairs to my room to update the Cullen's on the latest happenings.

"Renee is calling the police." I told Edward over the phone. "No one has heard from Phil for almost five days, so maybe this is the right thing to do."

"I can see the worry." Edward said. "If this was you, I would have called the police the moment you stepped out the door."

I sighed. "I know. I'm just so worried for Renee. And Phil. What if something has happened to him?"

"I'm sure he's fine."

I sighed again. Everyone had been telling me that for the past five days, and it never helped one bit. Since Christmas, things seemed to have gone from bad to worse.

Little did I know, the worst was yet to come.

* * *

Renee called two days later to report Phil had been in a car accident.

"They found him on the side of the road, bleeding to death!" Renee sobbed into the phone, as a very concerned Charlie and I listened, our hearts breaking at the sound of this fragile women's sadness. "Apparently he was driving so fast, and he hit a tree! A _tree_!"

"It's ok, Mom, people come out of car accidents all the time." I tried to soothe her.

"No, they don't! He's in hospital, but he's practically in a coma! The car twisted around the damn tree like a _pretzel!_ They needed the Jaws of Life! He's going to die, Bella! What will I do? How will I –"

"Mom." I stopped her before she became anymore hysterical. "He isn't going to die. Just calm down."

"How do you know that, Bella? How can you be so sure?"

"Bella's right." Charlie cut in. "He won't die. We have good doctors these days. They can do all sorts of things with medicine."

"I don't know. They're not supermen. Who knows what's going to happen." She took a deep breath. "I have to get back to the hospital. I'll let you know what happens."

"Ok. I love you, Mom. Everything is going to be ok." I said.

"Bella's right. Keep your hopes up, and say hi to him for us when he wakes up." Charlie said, shooting me an uneasy look. "Bye Renee."

"Bye." She hung up.

I immediately started shaking my head. "You've seen so many accidents like this, Dad. How can you be so sure Phil's going to make it?"

"I'm not." Charlie frowned and headed to the kitchen. I followed. "I just don't like seeing your Mom upset."

Ugh. Uncomfortable. Awkward. Sometimes I forgot Charlie still had feelings for Renee. I tried to brush it off as easy concern. "I don't either. But I don't want anyone getting her hopes up only to have them fall."

"We're just going to have be strong for her." Charlie said, sitting down at the dining room table. I heated up the Lasagna from the previous day, watching it rotate slowly in the microwave.

We ate in silence, as we have done for the past few nights. Neither of us seemed to know what to say, but we both knew in a lonely hospital somewhere in Phoenix, Phil was on his deathbed, with Renee watching idly by. How could either of us be happy when we knew any of this? We had both just had a wonderful Christmas day with our friends. How had everything turned so… _dismal_?

I guess Christmas isn't always the time for miracles.

That night, Edward talked with me on the phone instead of coming to my room. We talked for hours about anything but Renee and Phil and Phoenix and accidents – we talked about school, and his family, and ridiculous things like the cost of gas. I was distracted momentarily from the disaster at hand, for which I was grateful. Edward was always the one to make me feel better.

"Alice told me you're having girl troubles." Edward started.

"Edward," I laughed without humor. "Just because you're running out of non disaster-related topics, doesn't mean we need to move on to my personal problems."

"Maybe I can help you as well as distract you." He said.

"Right. Not going to happen." I smiled and rolled over to turn off my bedside lamp. I was shrouded in comfortable darkness. "It's getting late…"

"Of course." He knew what this meant.

I closed my eyes against the tears about to escape, and listened to his singing.

_Do you hear me? I'm talking to you_  
_Across the water across the deep blue ocean__  
__Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying_

_Boy I hear you in my dreams__  
__I feel your whisper across the sea__  
__I keep you with me in my heart__  
__You make it easier when life gets hard_

_I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend__  
__Lucky to have been where I have been__  
__Lucky to be coming home again__  
__Ooh ooh ooh_

_They don't know how long it takes__  
__Waiting for a love like this__  
__Every time we say goodbye__  
__I wish we had one more kiss__  
__I'll wait for you I promise you, I will_

_I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend__  
__Lucky to have been where I have been__  
__Lucky to be coming home again_

_Lucky we're in love in every way__  
__Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed_

_Lucky to be coming home someday_

_And so I'm sailing through the sea__  
__To an island where we'll meet__  
__You'll hear the music fill the air__  
__I'll put a flower in your hair_

_Though the breezes through trees__  
__Move so pretty you're all I see__  
__As the world keeps spinning 'round__  
__You hold me right here, right now_

_I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend__  
__Lucky to have been where I have been__  
__Lucky to be coming home again_

_I'm lucky we're in love in every way__  
__Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed__  
__Lucky to be coming home someday_

_Ooh ooh ooh__  
__Ooh ooh ooh, ooh_

I fell asleep, listening to his sweet words and praying that Phil will be ok.

Early that morning, Charlie went fishing with Billy Black, and I stayed at home and did my chores. I had been lacking in the area of cooking and laundry lately, so I figured today was a good day to catch up. I got to work quickly, preparing several meals for Charlie that I could freeze for another day. While I was busy sealing the container of Spaghetti Ragu, the phone rang.

I jumped and almost dropped the container of pasta. I ran to get the phone. "Hello?"

"Bella?" Renee whispered, her voice full of despair and tears.

"Oh no, Mom…" My hand froze over my mouth.

"He's gone. He didn't make it." She sobbed, and I had to hold onto the counter to withhold my own tears.

"Mom, I'm so sorry… I…" I couldn't find the words to comfort her, this time. If I had lost someone I loved… if I had lost Edward… no words could possibly make me feel better. Not even apologies.

"They tried all they could." Renee continued to sob. "What am I going to do on my own? I can't… I can't live in that house, knowing that… I just can't…"

"Shh," I hushed her, holding back tears of my own. "It's going to be ok. You're strong. We can make it through this, together. You know we can."

"But you're not here. I'm _alone._" This just seemed to make her sob harder.

"I can… I can come. I still have a few more days of Winter break left before I have to go to school." I said desperately, not even thinking about the plans Alice had conjured up for the next three days.

"That would be great, Bella. I need help organizing the funeral, anyway." She sniffled.

_The funeral_. I hated funerals immensely. Rather than showcase the person's life, I felt like they are celebrating their death. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it is just how I have always felt.

"Ok. I'll arrange flights today and arrive tomorrow morning. I love you, Mom, I promise everything is going to be ok."

I hung up the phone and dialed Charlie's number. I explained what had happened, and he decided to come straight home and talk with me about it. Then, I called Edward. He told the others and decided they would also come here. It's going to be a pity party.

"He's gone, Charlie." I cried, as my father pulled me into his arms the moment he stepped through the door. The tears I had ignored while talking to Renee now overflowed down my cheeks and dripping off the end of my chin.

"Shh, baby," Charlie rubbed my back. "It's ok. It's ok. He's in a better place."

I continued to cry quietly into Charlie's jacket, realizing that the grief I was feeling was more for my Mother than it was for Phil. How would poor Renee cope on her own? Phil kept her grounded. She loved him more than she ever loved Charlie. Oh God, I only saw them happy together a few months ago! How was I going to help Mom through this?

A few minutes later, Carlisle, Esme, Edward, and Alice arrived. Charlie refused to let go of me, so Edward held tightly onto my hand and Alice hugged me from behind. Carlisle and Esme stood talking to Charlie.

"I'm leaving… in the morning…" I forced through my teeth, to no one in particular, but I knew everyone in the room heard. "Renee needs me. At least right now."

"We understand that." Charlie said, and kissed my hair. Edward squeezed my hand and Alice rubbed my shoulder. "Renee will need all the support she can get."

"Do you mind if I use your phone, Charlie? I'd like to call her." Esme asked, her kind face full of concern and sadness. Charlie nodded and Carlisle and Esme disappeared into the kitchen to call my Mom.

"I'm going to go pack. Dinner is in the kitchen if anyone wants it." I mumbled, pulling away from Charlie and wiping my eyes. I slowly wandered upstairs to my bedroom, and I hadn't realized Edward had followed until the door closed with a soft _click._

"Bella, sweetheart, I'm so sorry." Edward whispered, crossing the room and immediately pulling me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around him, the tears overflowing again. I felt him kissing my hair and rubbing my back while I sobbed uncontrollably.

"We only saw him during summer, Edward. He emailed me last week!" I cried hysterically, squeezing my eyes shut in attempt to stop my tears. "Why did things have to end so soon?"

"Shh, it's fate, love. We can't stop it, and we can't control it. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He breathed into my ear, sending a wave of shivers through me even at a time like this.

I started to get my breath back at his soothing words. "I know. But it doesn't mean it isn't cruel. Poor Renee. She's the one that's going to suffer the most through all this."

"I know, but we'll be here for her. You're going to Phoenix, to be with her, Bella. That's all you can do." Edward told me, pulling away, keeping his arms around my waist so he could look into my eyes. "Don't hurry back, alright? Be with your Mom. Don't worry about any of us here."

I sighed and nodded. Edward helped me clean up my face and Alice arrived to pack me a bag with things to take to Phoenix. I could hear Esme, Carlisle and Charlie talking downstairs, obviously finished with their conversation with Renee. Suddenly their conversation was cut off when a loud series of bangs sounded.

"Is everything ok?" I heard Emmett's booming voice. "Where's Bella?"

"Upstairs." I heard Charlie answer.

And less than three seconds later, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper were in my room with us. Emmett grabbed me in a vice tight hug, and Jasper and Rosalie watched on with sadness in their eyes. Alice continued to pack my bags while I explained to the others what had happened.

"That's horrible." Jasper shook his head.

"Poor Renee." Emmett sighed.

Rosalie remained silent, but I could see that her bottom lip was quivering.

"Your bag is done, Bella." Alice said, her high pitched voice unusually sullen. There was no happy energy or excited squealing. "I've packed enough for a week, just in case your stay is extended. Like Edward said before, don't hurry back. We'll all be here when you get back."

"We're not going anywhere." Edward added, flashing me a tiny smile. I couldn't help returning the favor and smiling back.

My friends all said their goodbyes, and then left around ten-thirty. Carlisle and Esme followed soon after, wishing me the best on my trip. I found it hard to accept when I knew this trip was going to be so hard.

I skipped dinner that night and went straight to bed. Charlie agreed to drive me to the airport in the morning, for which I was grateful. He wished he could come with me, but he said things at the station were hectic, and he didn't have the money for both of us. So I would be the representative for the Forks clan.

Early that morning, Charlie woke me up and I groggily wandered around my room, changing in a daze and then walking downstairs and outside into the rain. Charlie helped me put my things into the cruiser and then drove me to the airport, both of us silent as the rain beat down on the windshield.

When we arrived, I said my goodbyes and was quick to board my plane to Phoenix, Arizona. I sighed as the plane took off, not knowing what I'd be coming back to. Would I be sadder, or… have a piece of mind? I opted for the second one, but I knew the first option would be more likely.

When I landed, Renee was leaning against her car. Her hair hung limply around her blotchy face, and her clothes looked disheveled and days old. I ran to her, pulling her into my arms and letting her cry into her shoulder.

"Mom, shh…" I stroked her back, trying to calm her. There were hundreds of people buzzing around us, but I couldn't care less. "It's ok, I'm here now… it's going to be fine…"

She eventually pulled herself together enough to climb into her car. I let her sit in the passenger seat while I drove, holding my hand. She talked the whole way home, about how she didn't get to say goodbye or I love you. There was nothing I could say that would make her feel better, because I didn't feel the same pain. Yes, I would miss Phil, but I was more worried about my Mom's wellbeing now that he was gone.

I pulled up into the driveway where Edward and I had recently been vacationing. It seemed like yesterday we were lying on the sand at the beach, or sipping juice on the deck. How had things changed so drastically and so quickly?

I carried my bags inside and into the guest room, and then walked into the kitchen to get breakfast. When I looked around, I saw Phil everywhere – a baseball bat leaning against the wall, a picture from the wedding, his sunglass on the table. I reminded myself that I would need to clean up while I was here; having all these painful memories couldn't be easy on Renee.

"What would you like, I'll get you something." Renee said, bustling into the kitchen and opening the cupboards. I put my hands on her wrist to stop her.

"Mom. Sit down. I'll do everything." I looked into her sad, sad eyes, where tears were once again forming. She just nodded and sat at the small table, folding and unfolding her fingers while I made toast with peanut butter. I could see her eyes scanning the room, and then filling with more tears whenever they stopped.

I sighed and sat down beside her, covering her hand with mine. She squeezed my hand and looked at me with blurry eyes, almost bringing me to tears. I hated seeing Renee upset – she suddenly seemed ten years younger. It made me think of the days when I used to see her run out of her and Charlie's room, tears staining her cheeks, more than ten years ago. The memories brought real tears to my eyes, and now she was comforting me.

We spent most of the day crying, eating, and sleeping. It was easy to see Renee hadn't slept nearly enough in the last few days, so I promised her she could sleep while I sat next to her. We slept in the guestroom.

We ate _a lot_. It seemed we were trying to forget our sorrows by eating, just like in the movies. We talked, but not about Phil – we talked about Edward and the rest of the Cullens, and Charlie, and Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper. It had only been four months since we had last been here, but, well… a lot can happen in four months. Especially when it comes to Edward.

"So…" Renee asked. She seemed a little perkier when she wasn't thinking about Phil. "Have you… ?"

I glared. "No."

"Sounds like you want to."

I wanted to say, _You know, for a widow, you're unusually annoying_, but I knew that would kill her mood and upset her more. I don't think anyone has really come to the conclusion that she is actually a widow now.

"I'm perfectly fine with where we are, and he is too." I silenced her with a small smile. "Enough about Edward. It makes me miss him."

"I'm sorry for dragging you here." She sighed, discarding the bowl of ice cream she was eating and pulling me against her side. "I just… needed…"

"I know, Mom." I rested my head on her shoulder and looked out the window. I could see thousands of stars, and I wondered if Phil was out there somewhere, watching us. The thoughts sent shivers down my spine, and turned away from the window. "It's getting late. We should probably get some… uh, _more_, sleep."

"You're right." She pulled back the covers and crawled under, though it was fifty degrees outside, and closed her eyes. I followed suit, but slept on top of the blankets beside her. I thought she had fallen asleep in minutes, but then I heard soft sobs and saw her shoulders shaking. I rolled over and put my arm around her, squeezing her hand until she fell asleep.

x-x-x-x

The next day, we got down to business packing and planning. Phil's parents were organizing most of the funeral, which I would missing a day school to attend on behalf of everyone is Forks. Renee took me out to buy some nice clothes for the occasion, which I knew upset her more than I could bear. As soon as we got home, I shoved the clothes away and continued helping her put Phil's things in boxes. She was reluctant, but I told her everything would be here anytime she wanted to look. That seemed to make her better.

That night, I called Charlie and told him everything that we had done and how Renee was. He was concerned, but I assured him that once the funeral was out of the way, Renee would soon go back to her hobbies and forget about Phil. Well, not _forget_. I doubted she would ever forget.

Then I called Edward, and we talked for what seemed like hours. He told me that everyone missed me and that winter break is nothing without me. I shrugged it off, of course, but it really meant a lot to me.

He offered to fly himself and Charlie to Phoenix, but I declined, knowing this would cost a large amount of money for the Cullen family.

"Edward, you don't need to do that. Stay in Forks." I told him.

"But Bella –"

"No, Edward. You're staying."

He sighed in defeat. "I feel like I should be there with you. I miss you so much."

"I know, I miss you too." I sighed, his words warming my heart. "But I need to be here for her. I'll be home in a few days, anyway."

"Alright. I love you. Bye, Bella."

"Bye Edward." My words became choked up in my throat.

The next day, Renee and I attended the funeral. I had never seen something so beautiful, yet so sad at the same time. Phil's parents had done an immaculate job at decorating the local church, which was filled with teary eyed people.

The last funeral I had been to was Grandma Swan's, but I was only six. I couldn't remember much, plus Renee had shielded me from most of the really sad stuff. Now, I wasn't shielded in the slightest. I was the one shielding this time.

We sat down and listened while the speeches were given. We sat beside Phil's parents, who adored Renee like she was their own daughter. I think it comforted her to have them beside her, knowing that they were going through just as much pain as she was.

The hours passed, and soon everything was finished. All that planning for a few hours. I supposed they honored Phil's life to their best ability – with pictures and stories about his childhood and memorabilia. His baseball team stood up and honored him for the great played and friend that he was. It was heartwarming to see that so many people loved and would miss Phil. Renee would not be the only one.

I noticed on the night after the funeral, Renee was acting strange. Not in the sad, widow way, but in the uncomfortable and nervous way. It concerned me – other than the funeral, why would she be _nervous_? Of all things to be.

"Mom, are you ok?" I asked her, over our dinner of roast chicken, potatoes and salad. This was my last night here, and I wanted to make things special for her. Or, as special as they could be right now.

"Yes, sweetie, I'm…" She shook her head and pushed her food around her plate. She had barely eaten since I arrived. "I'm just… thinking."

"About what? Talk to me." I took a sip of water from my cup.

She bit her lip. "I was just thinking about what it will be like when you leave. I'll be on my own, in this big house… Both my parents aren't around anymore, and everyone else I know… ?" She trailed off and shook her head.

"What do you mean?" I asked, frowning in confusion. I had put my fork down and was listening intently.

"I mean… you like Forks, don't you?"

"Of course I do."

"I wouldn't want to make you leave Edward, and your friends…"

"Mom." I was confused. "Take a step back. What are you trying to say to me?"

She took a deep breath, still not quite meeting my eyes. "I want you to move back to Phoenix, with your dear old Mom."

The words at first didn't have any effect on me. I felt unusually unaffected, as if my Mom had just told me I needed to return the money I borrowed rather than that I needed to leave the people I loved in Forks.

I looked at her, and saw the anxiety in her eyes. I could almost see that she was pleading with me, saying that she _needed_ me here. How could I say no to her? How could I turn her down, when I knew as soon as I left, she would break down once again?

"I'm sorry, I knew it was a stupid idea." Renee started shaking her head and fussing more with her food. Her voice cracked when she spoke again. "I didn't mean to sound so…"

"It's not stupid." I bit my lip. "It's not stupid at all."

"You don't want to, I understand that." My Mom sighed, tears pricking into her eyes. "You have Edward, and Alice, and Emmett and Rosalie and Jasper…" Her voice broke once again. "Of course you want to stay with them."

"Mom, Mom, Mom," I hurried around to the other side of the table, and wrapped my arms around her frail shoulders. "It's ok, shh… I'll stay, it's ok…"

"You will?" She sobbed, clutching onto my arm as she cried. "Really?"

"I will." I said. I felt like I was on some sort of autopilot. I wasn't thinking about anything but making her feel better. "I'm not going anywhere."


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: ARGGGH. Fanfiction has been having issues, so I've been unable to update frequently. In fact, I probably would've updated 5 times over by now if it wasn't for fanfiction -_- not cool. But anyway... **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

I boarded a plane the next day to go back to Forks, my shoulders feeling heavier than they did when I arrived. I had never expected to be in this position, when I left to comfort my Mother because of the death of her husband. Yes, I expected it to be distressing and upsetting, but I never expected to feel like _this._ Like everything I had built in the last nine months was about to be pulled out from under me.

I dragged my feet off the plane, where I could see Charlie and my friends were waiting. I had expected a turn out like this, because they had promised me. But I felt especially unfortunate to be welcomed by them _now_.

"Bells!" Charlie got to me first, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me tightly to his chest. I couldn't smile, or speak – I knew I was about to leave him, my Father, to go back to Phoenix. He was yet to know it. "How are ya, baby?"

I took a deep breath. "Fine. I'm fine."

He smiled and leaned away to look at my face. I watched the smile slowly drop off his face, replaced by a confused frown. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, look, Dad –" I began, but I couldn't say it. "Yeah. It's just been an emotional few days."

"Oh, yeah." Charlie moved out of the way, revealing Edward, Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme. I watched as _their_ smiles slowly disappeared when they saw my own expression. They knew something was wrong. Something _big._ Of course they did.

"Sweetheart," Edward stepped forward, wrapping his arm around my waist and leading me towards the exit. The others followed silently behind us, watching. "I'm so glad you're back. I missed you. How are you?"

"Fine. I'm fine." I answered the same way I had answered Charlie. "How… how have things been? What have I missed at school?"

"Things have been alright. And not much." He responded, frowning slightly. "Not much at all."

Edward, Alice and I rode in Charlie's cruiser, and the others rode with Carlisle and Esme. The car ride from Port Angeles to Forks was filled with a confused silence. I could see the questions in their eyes; _What had happened to make you so sad? Is Renee ok? How was the funeral? _

All questions I couldn't force myself to answer.

Carlisle, Esme and the rest of the gang joined us for dinner that night. Esme cooked in our tiny kitchen while the rest of us sat at the table, talking. Well, I didn't talk… I more listened. I could tell when Edward or Carlisle made an opening for me to talk, but I just averted my eyes and pretended I didn't notice.

Dinner was just as silent… and awkward. The only noise that could be heard was the scraping of knives and forks against the ceramic plates. I saw every pair of eyes look up at me at least once, questioning me with their gazes. And once again, I avoided them.

"Got anything planned for tomorrow afternoon, Bella?" Alice asked me, as we both helped Esme clear the table.

"No." I mumbled.

"Oh, good. Because I was hoping that maybe you could come over to our house. You know, for a sleepover?" She asked me, trying to sound like nothing was wrong. She had a happy smile plastered all over her face.

"We'd be glad to have you, Bella." Esme smiled from the sink. "You know you're welcome any time."

"I can't." I answered quietly, as the others began to file into the kitchen, carrying more empty plates of what once was delicious food.

"Aw, why not? We can have some girl time, and –" Alice continued, beginning to bounce in her step and clasp her hands together like she often does when she's excited.

I interrupted her. "I'm sorry, Alice, but I can't." I needed to start packing. I promised Renee I'd be over in the next few days, and I needed to hurry if I was hoping to keep her promise. I couldn't let her down. Especially when she is so fragile.

"Please, Bella?" Alice pleaded once more. The others positioned themselves around the kitchen, watching us.

"Alice, I said I can't. I'm sorry." I responded, my voice getting just that little bit higher. I was tired and upset, and I just wanted to go to my room. Not talk about slumber parties and girl time.

"Bella! Don't be such a –"

"_Alice_!" I spun around to face her, my fists clenched and my jaw tight. The others watched me with careful eyes, getting ready to step in. "I. Can't. Come. Ok? I just can't! So stop freaking asking me after I have told you I _can't_!"

Alice watched me with wide eyes. She opened her mouth, about to speak, but then shut it again. Everyone else was in shock around us, especially Edward. No one moved.

"W-why can't you come, if you have nothing planned?" Alice dared to whisper.

"I need to pack." I mumbled, barely audibly.

"What?"

"I need to pack." I spoke slightly louder.

"Pack for what?" She persisted.

"Phoenix." I whispered, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. My stomach was turning with anxiety, threatening to expel the small amount of the meal I had just consumed. My eyes stung and my chest felt tight – I didn't want to tell them this way. Oh God, how did it turn out like this?

"What?" Something told me Alice already heard.

"Phoenix!" I shrieked.

More silence, and I hated it. The tears began to overflow, rolling down my cheeks in waves. I quickly covered my face, leaning my hip against the counter for support. Before I could control my actions, I began to cry slow, tearless sobs. But no one moved – I couldn't even hear breathing. No one knew how to act.

I clutched to the counter, trying to regain enough strength to move my legs. No luck – I continued to cry, my chest shaking.

I felt a pair of arms close around me, and I barely moved. "Get off me."

They continued to pull me into them. I gritted my teeth, the tears yet to slow. "I said get off."

"No." Esme's musical voice sounded in my ear, low and calm. "I'm not leaving you alone right now. You need someone."

I realized everything from the last few days was finally crashing down on me. No, maybe the past nine months was falling, crushing me under its heavy load. I couldn't move from under it, I couldn't even force it to budge. I was trapped.

I finally let Esme hug me, pulling me down so we were leaning against the counter. I sobbed into her chest, not embarrassed in the least; so what if everyone saw me crying? They all knew I was weak… why pretend anymore?

But when I looked up through teary eyes, the kitchen was empty.

"Shh," Esme hushed me, rubbing my back and kissing my hair. "It's ok, dear. It's ok to cry."

"I can't. I can't." I sobbed, not exactly sure what I couldn't do. Could I not go back to Phoenix… or I could I not stay here any longer? I wasn't sure. I was so confused.

"Come on," Esme whispered, standing up and pulling with her. She wrapped her arm around my waist and held me against her, as the sobs still shook my shoulders. "The others went home, and Charlie is upstairs, but Edward is still here. He'll know what to say."

I nodded slightly and let her lead to me upstairs to my room. She creaked the old door open to reveal Edward sitting on my bed, looking at a framed picture. When we entered he put it down on my nightstand and slowly raised his head to look at me.

"I'll leave you two alone." Esme said quietly, leaving me to stand on my own. I stumbled, but managed to regain my balance. I heard her close the door behind her, and then Edward and I were alone.

I looked at him, waiting for him to speak. But he avoided my eyes, like he was looking past me. It bothered me more than anything.

"Edward," I croaked, my voice thick with tears. "Please, say something."

"What do you want me to say?" He asked quietly.

"I want you to say…" I could have lied, and said I didn't want _him_ to lie. But I did. I didn't want to hear the truth. "Say… you understand why I'm doing this. For Renee. For Phil."

"I can't understand. After all… after…" He cleared his throat, his face crinkling with sadness and pain. "After all we've been through… you're really going to leave me?"

I looked down at my aged floorboards, twisting and untwisting my fingers together. "I don't _want _to go. I _need _to go. I made a promise."

"But you didn't have to. You could have told Renee to be strong. Or even, to move _here._ But you agreed to go away. To _leave _me. How could you do this to us?"

"I didn't have a choice." I exclaimed, too loud for the quiet room. We both winced. "Renee was so wrecked. She was sobbing, Edward, begging me to stay. Not to leave her. How could I say no?"

"Well now _I'm _begging you to stay. How could you say no to me?"

Was he asking me to choose between him… and my Mother? How could I possibly make that choice without hurting the one I didn't choose, and myself? Not that I minded hurting myself. I deserved it after all the pain and suffering I've caused.

"This is different. I'm sorry…"

"I don't know if sorry is enough, Bella. Not this time." Edward sighed, lifting his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "I don't know what I'm going to do."

"You'll do whatever you did before I got here." My voice still sounded desperate and full of tears. "It's not like we won't get to talk to each other anymore. You can call me. We can write letters. I can visit. Whatever you want."

"You don't understand." He stood up and began pacing the room. "It's not the same. I need you _here_. With me. _By my side_. Not in…" He almost spat out the word. "_Phoenix._"

"Stop it." I retorted before my mouth commanded me. "Don't act like this is my fault. Because it's not. I need to be there for my Mom."

"But…" He walked quickly to me and clamped his hands around the tops of my arms. He held me close to his face. "I love you."

"I know… I… I love you too. Of course." I forced myself to meet his eyes and demanded myself not to get lost in them. I forced his hands from around my arms and took them in mine. "But this is my _duty._ I need to do this in order to make my Mom happy."

When I looked into his eyes, I saw nothing but pain and anguish. It hurt me to know he was hurting, but I couldn't force myself _not _to do this.

"Are you going to do it again?" He asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Do what?" I asked in confusion.

"Lie. Are you going to make promises and not keep them, like last time? Is this going to be a repeat of what happened, ten years ago?" His voice was full of emotions. Anger, sadness, worry…

"No." I said immediately. "Things are different now. We're adults. We're not seven anymore."

"I don't think things have changed much."

I looked down at our hands, squeezing my eyes shut to keep myself from crying. His words had cut me deeply, but I wasn't blaming him – not because he didn't know what he was talking about because he was hurt, but I deserved all of this. I was never going to win this battle, either way. It was my Mom or Edward. And I chose my Mom. Edward can survive on his own. Renee can't.

I slowly let go of his hands and stepped back. "I'm leaving soon. Charlie will need to notify the school, and find other things to arrange. Plus, I need to pack. I'm sorry, but I need you to leave." I motioned toward the door.

Edward gave me one last glance, and then stalked out of my room swiftly and quietly. I heard the front door slam closed, and that's what brought me out of my catatonic state. I fell to the floor in a sobbing heap, clutching my chest and bowing over my legs.

_Is this right_? My mind was screaming. _Should this be so painful? _

I realized I was in this exact position, nine months ago. Asking myself, whether or not it should hurt this much – should relocating to the foggy town of Forks be _this_ excruciating? Should I feel like moving would be my own form of hell?

Well, now it was reversed… but my whole life had been turned upside down.

A few hours later, I could hear Charlie bustling around downstairs. Making phone calls. Arguing on the phone. Slamming the phone into the cradle and stomping back up to his room. It was late, and I wondered who would be calling at this time – only one person. Renee, or… Edward.

I didn't give myself time to wonder. I eventually crawled into bed, sniffling and huffing, and pulled the covers over my fully clothed-self. The silence was nice, for once – I was so tired of noise. I fell asleep in seconds, my bed feeling cold and alone without Edward.

* * *

That morning, Charlie hardly spoke to me. He hadn't begged me to stay, like I thought he might. Like he's done in the past. No, he just did exactly as I said, and helped me however he could. I was eternally grateful; he made this so much easier. He even helped me pack some of my belongings and clothing. I wasn't going to take _everything _– I wouldn't need it all in Phoenix. No matter how much I wanted to hold onto everything that yelled _Forks._

By the afternoon, I already had two large suitcases packed. I was keeping many of the things that Edward and the rest of my friends had given me, plus some items that just reminded me of Forks, like a snow globe I had picked up during one of Alice and I's trips to Seattle in the winter, or a small carving of a wolf Jacob had made for me.

_Jacob. _

He had totally slipped my mind. As I thought his name, a sharp pain shot through my heart. He didn't have any say in this – I hadn't seen him for months. Does he even know I'm leaving? Would he even care?

I decided that he wouldn't, and that didn't matter. I had stopped worrying about him awhile ago.

I was growing restless by the evening. I had booked my flights to Phoenix this morning, and I was flying out at ten-thirty five tomorrow. I hadn't heard from one member of the Cullen family, or Jasper, Emmett, or Rosalie. It wasn't that I was worried they didn't care – I was just scared I wouldn't see them before I departed. How long would it be until I saw them again?

That night, I was emotional. It was my last dinner in Forks, sitting on the rickety chair in front of Charlie's withering dining room table, drinking from overused coffee mugs. Charlie picked up the newspaper and read it as we ate, so I picked up my _Withering Heights _novel and tried to distract myself from crying. How I was going to miss this.

Charlie suggested I go to bed early, because I had a big day tomorrow. As he was saying his goodnights, he became choked up and teary eyed. I had never seen him express so much emotion, so I pulled him into a hug and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Thank you so much for having me, Dad, it's been so great. I'll never forget the time I had here, and… don't think I won't be visiting often, because I will come as often as I can. I hope my truck will still be here when I get back." I tried to crack a joke to break the emotional tension.

"It'll be here, Bells, don't you worry about that." He wiped his nose and coughed to clear his throat. "You're welcome any time, kid. Don't forget that. It's been… well, I loved having you here. I wish you didn't have to go."

"Me too." I looked down at my sock covered feet. "So… I'll see you in the morning."

"Sure will." I began to turn away as he spoke, until he tapped me on the shoulder again. "Oh, yeah, the Cullens, plus Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper will be meeting us at the airport tomorrow. To, you know… say goodbye."

I almost came undone. "O-oh. Well… that's nice."

Charlie nodded and rounded the corner towards the living room. I quickly skipped up to my room, holding my hand over my mouth in case I sobbed. I could never remember myself being so emotional – I suppose this was an exception. I was leaving so much more behind than I did in Phoenix.

I changed into one of the only sets on pajamas I had left, and climbed into bed. The rain was beating down onto the roof, which I would normally sigh or huff about. But tonight, I found it soothing and comforting – it sounded like Forks. It sounded like _home_. I wouldn't hear this again for a very long time.

Before I knew it, I was opening my eyes to my alarm clock buzzing me awake from my night stand. I lifted my hand to slam the snooze button, until I remembered that I had a plane to catch. I dragged myself out of bed and changed into comfortable flying clothes, picked up my many suitcases, and carried them downstairs.

"Ready to go?" Charlie asked, opening the door and tucking one hand into his jeans pocket.

I nodded and pulled my bags out the door. Charlie loaded them into the cruiser and we were on our way to Port Angeles airport. It made me nervous to know I was going to have to say goodbye to my friends, again – would I cry? I knew I would, but I hoped not.

We drove the twenty minutes in silence, the rain slapping the windscreen of the cruiser. I stared out the window, watching the swaying trees slowly turn into the small airport of Port Angeles. Charlie carried my bags into the main terminal, where I spotted Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett. They all stood in a line, arms crossed, waiting. When I looked over at Edward, his face remained hard and expressionless. I swallowed nervously.

"Hello, Bella." Carlisle greeted me with a small smile, and took one of my bags off me. "Are you ready to go?"

I nodded and kept my eyes on the ground. "Yes."

Our party walked towards the gates, where we all went through a quick security scan. Port Angeles airport wasn't big or strict on security, so we all made it through within a few minutes. Most of us didn't say a word, for which I was grateful; I was too afraid I would cry.

After a quick call from Renee to confirm I was on schedule, it was time for me to say goodbyes. Before I was ready, Alice flew into my arms, burying her face into my shoulder with tears leaking from her eyes.

"I'll miss you so much, Bella! Please promise me we'll talk every day."

"Of course we will." I promised, hugging her tightly. "Every single day."

Alice pulled back sniffling, which allowed Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie to embrace me next. I wished Rosalie well with her baby, and that I'd be back soon to visit him or her. I told Emmett that I would miss him being my teddy bear. I said to Jasper that I would miss having him as my protector and my big brother. I shed tears saying goodbye to Carlisle and Esme, my adoptive parents who I had really come to love in the past few months. Esme had tears in her eyes and Carlisle seemed to be putting on a brave face. We quickly said goodbye and they passed me on to Charlie, who was red around the eyes.

"I'll miss ya, kid." He sniffled, hugging me tightly. "Make sure you call when you get in safely. Tell Renee I said hi, and that I wish her well."

"I will." I nodded and wiped my cheeks of tears. Charlie pulled away from me and looked towards Edward, who walked slowly towards me. The other stopped crying and whimpering to watch.

"Goodbye, Bella." Edward breathed, his voice shaky. He quickly wrapped his arms around me and crushed me to him, almost suffocating me, but I didn't care. I hugged him fiercely, the tears now pouring down my cheeks, soaking his jacket.

"I love you." I mumbled.

"I love you, and I always will."

He softly kissed my forehead and pulled away. "Visit as soon as you can. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." I didn't want to look away.

"It's time to go, Bells." Charlie said quietly from behind us, pointing towards the walkway out of the airport and into the airplane. It was empty, which meant everyone had already boarded. I picked up my backpack and ran towards the walkway, looking back at my family and friends which just looked like blurry figures with sullen faces.

I boarded the plane, almost to the point of sobbing. I sat in my seat and stared out the foggy window, leaning my head on my hand, deep in thought as the plane took off.

I would never forget the moment when I saw Edward again for the first time. It wasn't like those cheesy romance movies where fireworks explode, and your stomach instantly begins doing nervous flips. No, he hated me – and if I was being honest, I hated him too. I hated him for being so rude to me, for purposely not remembering, for refusing to give me a chance. I didn't understand why he would do any of those things, I thought he was being selfish. His friendship with Rosalie made me jealous, because I didn't know what kind of hurt I had caused him. It wasn't just that I hadn't visited or called, but I had broken his trust. I didn't blame him for not forgiving me, but I blamed him for not trying again. He had given up on me, and that frustrated me to the point of hatred.

He made me grow as a person, when he refused to accept me as his friend again. I was now grateful he hadn't forgiven me so quickly, because I might have taken it for granted or not appreciated it. Now I knew the full extent of the courage and goodness that is Edward Cullen – He was able to gain another's trust whilst teaching them at the same time. I was happy that I got that experience; of hatred, of friendship, and then of true love. I would never take it back for the world.

My short and second life in Forks had gone faster than I wanted it too – Of course, I knew I would never be able to stay here forever. Because perfection does not last forever, and I knew that, now that I was moving away from happiness, and that Phil was gone. Things would have changed, whether I agreed to relocate or not. Because happiness is never permanent.

It's like I was turning back the clock – going back to where I started. Except, I was going back with so much more. I had gained a lifetime of happiness in the space of nine months.

And it was all thanks to Edward Cullen.

* * *

**THE. END. **

**So. That's the end of Only the Beginning, part 1. I hope you've enjoyed it, and thanks so much for supporting me throughout the story. It's been really fun, and keep an eye out for the sequel, coming soon. (:**

**Please review! **


	31. AN: S E Q U E L !

**Heyyyy ya'll.**

**So. In case some of you haven't noticed, the sequel is up with a few updates already made. Aren't you proud of me ^^ seeing as life has been busy lately. There was a death in the family (not a direct relative) so things have been a little crazy. Writing the sequel to my favorite story has really cheered me up, though (: so check it out.**


	32. Sequel Link

**A/N: OK, so some of you have asked for the link to the sequel, so here you go.**

http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6905829/1/In_the_End

Have fun.


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